FabSwingers.com forum: ignorant couples and females

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because they probably get hundreds a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to reply to all messages but sometimes they come in too fast to be able to keep up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get to many to reply to all and i bet any money if the tables were turned and men out numbered women here 100 to 1 and men got 50+ messages a day they would only reply to the women they was interested in

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By *r-MissCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Most of the time people can't be bothered to read your profile, so why should couples and women take the time to write a message back.

If your message has been deleted that's normally a hint that they are not fussed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i get to many to reply to all and i bet any money if the tables were turned and men out numbered women here 100 to 1 and men got 50+ messages a day they would only reply to the women they was interested in"

Totally true.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate all whats said...i just feel that i mite be just waiting time and effort

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate all whats said...i just feel that i mite be just waiting time and effort

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Because I dont have time to reply to them all...

And when someone clearly hasnt read my profile yet still mails me why should I reply??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to agree with what others have said. I get between 50-70 messages a day. If I replied to them all I wouldn't be able to do my job! Sometimes its just easier to ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont know what the issue is lol and you lucky buggers that get that many, but saying that we dont get to many so we answer to all mail lmao

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By *uffinCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

I always reply.

It only takes a moment and is less time consuming than being on the forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"dont know what the issue is lol and you lucky buggers that get that many, but saying that we dont get to many so we answer to all mail lmao"
thankyou xx

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

A couple just messaged me. I am going to give them a taste of their own medicine and ignore them. Ha

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Right I think that is suitable punishment and they have learned their lesson so I have answered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right I think that is suitable punishment and they have learned their lesson so I have answered

that's showing them brother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here we go aggggggaaaaaiiiiin x do you send emails to folk your not interested in. Nope thought so. Let us have the choice too

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Having seen how many messages ladies and couples get on here i can understand it.

However i would like to say, the one thing worse than 100 messages a day is one message each hundred days.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If they haven't read my profile (I can tell!) I don't reply. If they haven't added a face pic (I ask for one) I don't reply. If the message is something along the lines of 'nice tits' or 'ur hot', I don't reply. And finally, as admin have said on the FAQs that I don't have to reply, if I don't like the look of them, I don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wtf ?

Simple really - we will answer if we want to and not if we don't - end of story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd reply to you if you didn't have a shit profile.

Respect and effort gets respect and effort. Your profile is shit.

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

the worst ones are the ones who arrange a meet then ignore you when you try to confirm details. But plenty more fish in the sea so cast your net wider and dont worry about the ones who dont reply

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"We'd reply to you if you didn't have a shit profile.

Respect and effort gets respect and effort. Your profile is shit."

Pmsl I'm guessing his profile hasn't impressed you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe me if I wanted a guy ...... really wanted him ....... he'd soon know it!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

No reply IS a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We'd reply to you if you didn't have a shit profile.

Respect and effort gets respect and effort. Your profile is shit."

Harsh but true.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

if you saw some of the responses we get from a 'polite' no you would understand why we don't always bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no

if you saw some of the responses we get from a 'polite' no you would understand why we don't always bother"

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen this from both sides having had 2 couple profiles on here for several years and in which we were looking for single males and I have seen what a battle it is to deal with the messages. You start out with good intentions but answering each one if you are not online for a few days becomes impossible. The time you set aside to be online is to SWING not deal with admin.

Now, from a ‘single’s’ point of view (even with the insight of previously having a couple’s profile) it is impossible to judge whether your message has been ignored because you are unsuitable or whether the lady/couple have simply 'mass deleted' and in which case another message sent at the right time might be productive … repeat messages shouldn’t be taken as offensively as they seem to be.

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By *ikkiBWoman
over a year ago

Falkirk

Basically for me you get too many messages. So I have a system that I now work for females/males/couples. Ive made it clear in my profile how to get yourself blocked so if anyones done that they get blocked/deleted which takes out a fair chunk, my block list must me massive.

Following all that I see what message has put in a bit of effort. All the "hows u" normally get ignored cause it just looks like they have opened the profile, send message and done it as quick as they can so move onto the next profile.

Then that leaves the good ones that I reply to and sometimes its just a no, not interested, sometimes its a your lucks in message but I always reply to those who have put in a bit of thought and a bit of effort.

Bit of a long winded thing but thats what I do lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I read the profile before answering the message.

My profile clearly states if my criteria is not met, I won't reply. Therefore if they don't...I don't!

However, if they meet my criteria, but they don't float my boat for whatever reason they always get a reply. I get about two/three new messages every other day, so hardly inundated, but I'm not seeking penfriends so don't respond to those outwith my criteria.

Don't see the problem myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This old chestnut again!

I concur with the masses, why should we? Most of the people who message us clearly haven't read our profile and it drives us crazy having to reply to people saying a polite no thank you, when really they shouldn't have messaged at all.

So, over time, we began to simply delete without replying. Sometimes I don't even read the message - just click on their profile link and if they aren't in our criteria, the message is deleted without reading and the person blocked.

I know it seems harsh, but as has been said, women and couples get a lot of messages. It's just easier this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to every message but the problem I have now and again is being called a time waster... why?

Cause I reply I get some guys thinking I am interested from the very start e.g. asked how am I, I say good ty how's you and all of sudden some guys think they have scored!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cos today i dont wanna talk to anyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the time people can't be bothered to read your profile, so why should couples and women take the time to write a message back.

If your message has been deleted that's normally a hint that they are not fussed."

^^^^This

As someone said on here before, Do you reply to all the junk mail that comes through your door?

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

I probably get a minimum of 50 messages a day from horny ladies and I reply to them all...

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I had a bit of heated debate with a friend earlier today about the same thing

I think ill keep my mouth shut on here as most of it has been said anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No reply IS a reply. "

Oooh I like that one. So very true

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply "

Was that to me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but without fanning about. Can I be honest as to why I don't send countless no thanks replies. It takes effort. Often makes me get harassed and asked but why oh why and lastly I can't be feckin bovvered x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Was that to me?

You expecting a reply lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they haven't read my profile (I can tell!) I don't reply. If they haven't added a face pic (I ask for one) I don't reply. If the message is something along the lines of 'nice tits' or 'ur hot', I don't reply. And finally, as admin have said on the FAQs that I don't have to reply, if I don't like the look of them, I don't reply."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because we never asked for a message saying 'wanna fuck me' with a close up cock pic.

we reply to people we intersted in,there no point if not.

also if you stop messages from all men,and you have previously messaged to say no thanks,they can still message you

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Was that to me?

You expecting a reply lol xx"

Of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not acknowledge junk mail through the post, and do not acknowledge unsolicited messages, winks or Friends Invites from those I have no intention of knowing, let alone to play with.

I usually block too, so as to make my intentions clear.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Ermmmm is the answer.... they don't want to and it's not them who gets arsey about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i cant win either way lol it clearly states my preferences ,if i dont reply im an ignorant cow and if i do reply saying no ty check my profile,im either a racist or a black mans whore hehe i give up

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"I appreciate all whats said...i just feel that i mite be just waiting time and effort "

What you mean is - you appreciate everything that's been said - but you still feel entitled to a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly because the ones that begin " hey gorgeous, I'd love to fuck you" is clearly aimed at the both of us....

If its a polite message that piques our interest we will reply.. one that makes us laugh has even more chance

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

because then you message ack 'are you sure?'

and we say 'yes'

and you say 'come on, i can be who you want me to be'

and we say 'no really, its ok'

and you say 'so whats wrong with me?'

then we get into the whole 'you just dont float our boat

your not our type

you have a face like a smacked arse'

whatever it may be.

its because a simple 'no thanks' never ends with a simple no thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have good intentions as far as replying to messages goes.

We do intend to reply later but then time goes bye and it gets forgotten, in the end it seems too late to reply.

That's why we usually have messages in our In Box from weeks ago that haven't been deleted.

Although we never reply to one liners, messages without pics or anyone who doesn't seem compatible.

Sometimes replying can open a can of worms.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just delete all mines. Can you believe this lie???

The max I get is 20 per week. Which is so cool as they are all from very nice people here who talk sense

So I reply with a smile

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

When I get a message from anyone I don't know the first thing I do is click on their profile.....this simple act saves me replying to at least 75% of the messages I receive as they clearly haven't read my profile......

In which case they get deleted without me having to read their message...

Those that remain get their messages read, if I like what they have to say in their message I send a reply....If I don't they just get deleted.

Works for me

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By *tensonSwingersCouple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields

Totally true.

errm slight error.

You mean if the tables were turned and the Women outnumbered the Men 100 to one?! The men already outnumber the women, so it wouldnt be turning the tables in your case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply "

Great comeback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do.. but then i get abuse from stupid ignorant single guys who call me a fat slag, heffer, bitch etc... and tell me i should be lucky that they even messaged me.... etc etc... so i can see why alot of women and couples dont bother...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Because the majority clearly show that the sender hasn't bothered to read more than about the first three words of a profile before sending. so they don't deserve any recognition as far as we are concnerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Not read the whole thread but I'll throw than back at you and ask "why can't men read and respect what I'm saying in my profile"? Its fairly clear yet I still get a lot of messages every day from guys asking to meet me or have a chat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

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By *orny1103Man
over a year ago

Walsall

I have heard that some men on here can get nasty when a polite 'no thanks' is sent back, so i guess some women and couples do it for that reason.

Like other posts have mentioned here, also there are probably too many messages to go through and reply to each one.

I dont take it personally! I used to, but have learnt to take it on the chin now, and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get unsolicited mail,

Single males even though they are about five or six courses down our list of wants

We get people not reading any part of the profile

We get people just messaging Jayne only

We get people sending circulars

We get abusive messages

We get messages from people that interest neither one of us

We get messages from the sender that tries to indulge there purist fantasy forgetting that most sane folks will not put there partner in harms way,

Now from time to time I will reply on Jayne's behalf but I cannot promise I am polite about it!

Mark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"because they probably get hundreds a day"

Some of us don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you reply to someone who clearly has not read your profile. I wouldn't. I see it as if they do not care what I think out of bed they wont care what I want or rather don't want in bed and I will not set myself up to be used as a free prostitute. Harsh maybe but I not only here to please though to me that is important that my 'partners' are happy to but I also here for my own needs. Guys who clearly ignore a gals wishes out of bed do not deserve a chance to get her into his bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply "

Fussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you messaged us, we'd not reply either.

If you cannot be bothered to write more than half a dozen words in your profile, we cannot be bothered to reply to you.

Respect is a two way street believe it or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Started with the best intentions to reply to all messages even if it's just a polite no but as a single woman it's just impossible due to the high volume of messages u recieve daily. Then with a good proportion of the "thanks but no thanks" approach I either get them still taking that as a green light or abuse for saying no so it's ends up bein less hassle to ignore n delete.

If u truly wanna understand it do wot I advised a "friend" and set up a TEMPORARY fake profile as a woman. I no it completely changed his point of view within the first day alone now he doesn't take not bein responded to, to Heart as much.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Personally we don't allow contact from single males as the bad apples have spoiled it . We relax it when we are looking or contact those that interest. Regarding the post though OP in fairness you have a mug shot and state who you aim for. If your messages to those that interest you were more in depth and not templates used all the time for them you contact its fine. With such little info and being unable to accommodate that would put many off.

That aside good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I Started with the best intentions to reply to all messages even if it's just a polite no but as a single woman it's just impossible due to the high volume of messages u recieve daily. Then with a good proportion of the "thanks but no thanks" approach I either get them still taking that as a green light or abuse for saying no so it's ends up bein less hassle to ignore n delete.

I know what you are trying to say but, setting up a fake profile is not a good idea.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I tend not to be overkeen on peeps who start forum threads that have more words than their profile.....saying that, if they' ve read mine I will respond but it's more likely to be no thanks regardless (well unless its a george clooney lookalike)

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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

most women and couples on here get so many messages to go through i do try and answer at least once to someone trouble is some get arsey when you say thanks but no thanks (if they read your profile to start with ) they wouldnt need to ask or pester but most people get lots messages .... far too many to answer all i given up trying now only answer ones that interested in ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Because when we do the person, more often than not, comes back and asks why or sends an abusive mail back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so were ignorant for not replying how about callin yourself ignorant cause i,m sure you mailed people of whom you don,t meet there needs , don,t tar and feather people when you don,t know them ! wee rant over lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/12 08:57:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I get a message from anyone I don't know the first thing I do is click on their profile.....this simple act saves me replying to at least 75% of the messages I receive as they clearly haven't read my profile......

In which case they get deleted without me having to read their message...

Exactly the same for me!!

Those that remain get their messages read, if I like what they have to say in their message I send a reply....If I don't they just get deleted.

Works for me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think im echoing whats already been said - its simply a combination of people who send out "messages" without reading recipients profile; who then thinks if you could not be arsed to read that (as an example)

"i/we not looking for men"

" I/we not interested in Bi/Gay men"

"cannot accommodate"

"we play has a couple only"

"only meet nights/weekends etc"

They are some of the more common reasons why people just dont respond on basis; if you couldnt be arsed to read it then i not bother replying

Pete

ps; not of the above is said to offend any indivdual and is just my observation

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

I'm of the opinion and I've said it before, why do you want a reply that says no thanks..polite yes no benefit to you it doesn't get you what you were looking for,.. I want replies that say yes ... my reasons simple, whilst I'm reading the no thanks messages I'm not talking communicating with the ladies and couples that are interested in me....

Keep up the good work fella, you're making it easier for some other guy to message before you the lady or couple that might have been interested in you.. ta,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort ."

and you have hence no photos.....need say anymore

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort ."

and you have hence no photos.....need say anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Most of the nice ones will - assuming your message is well thought out, not cut and pasted, and relative to the needs described on their profile.

But if the profile says that if they aren't interested they won't reply - accept and respect that and move on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort .

and you have hence no photos.....need say anymore"

You have made 0 effort on your own profile, no pictures and it says nothing at all what so ever about you, and you expect people to reply to you ?!?!?!

Also it's a crap come back saying other people don't have photos on their profile either when they are not the ones complaining on here about people not returning messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort .

and you have hence no photos.....need say anymore

You have made 0 effort on your own profile, no pictures and it says nothing at all what so ever about you, and you expect people to reply to you ?!?!?!

Also it's a crap come back saying other people don't have photos on their profile either when they are not the ones complaining on here about people not returning messages

Calm down Calm down ladies lol hehehehhee --- life is to short for petty squabbles over right an d wrongs of profiles because after all its pretty clear if you been on here or other sites that if you cant be arsed to write someting - show at least one pic and respect others; you not find it eay to get a shag lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"because they probably get hundreds a day"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I wouldn't have emailed you anyway to want a reply

Great comeback

thankyou

because as somone said. your profile is shit..! You havnt even made any effort .

and you have hence no photos.....need say anymore

You have made 0 effort on your own profile, no pictures and it says nothing at all what so ever about you, and you expect people to reply to you ?!?!?!

Also it's a crap come back saying other people don't have photos on their profile either when they are not the ones complaining on here about people not returning messages

Yeah, I'd never say someones profiles shit, just 0 effort is enough

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

We will usually reply with a polite no thanks email. But we aren't perfect and the odd one will get missed or just won't deserve a reply.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

We do 98% of the time. We have a few copy and pastes ready so it takes a fraction of a second to do.

If people have bothered to mail, we like to answer back.

The 2%ish that we don't answer is the "hi" or "how are you" mails as they normally mean more mails will be exchanged depending on what we answer with someone who we are not likely to want to meet.

As others have said though, they don't want to answer all their mails.....so you can either get wound up over it, or accept this is what may happen....I know which one I would do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ummm....don't you mean "if the tables were turned and WOMEN out-numbered MEN here"???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try to reply to all messages but sometimes they come in too fast to be able to keep up.

maybe it would be better to set soem mail filters so you dont get so many..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of reasons

Too many messages to keep up with so you have to be a bit more discerning.

Also it's super annoying when they've read your profile, realise they don't fit into any of your desired catagories and then message you anyway.

If they're opening line is a turn off.

If they're just not yummy!

And if all the above is true ... if you send a reply intending it to be a polite no it usually just opens the flood gates for yet more messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of reasons

Too many messages to keep up with so you have to be a bit more discerning.

Also it's super annoying when they've read your profile, realise they don't fit into any of your desired catagories and then message you anyway.

If they're opening line is a turn off.

If they're just not yummy!

And if all the above is true ... if you send a reply intending it to be a polite no it usually just opens the flood gates for yet more messages.

All perfectly justified!

Especially the 'yummy' bit! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I answered this last week & the week before, so wont be doing again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry I answered this last week & the week before, so wont be doing again

What you trying to say ????????? that forum posts repeat themselves repeat themselves repeat themselves repeat themselves heheheehehe -- never lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can,t believe u don,t get many

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By *eet_the_spartanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why cant people be polite and acknowlege emails even a polite no"

Because most messages are copy and pasted or just crude and vulgar. Couples and fems get so many in a day it's impossible to reply to them all anyway. My partner gets at least a message a minute when she's online in the evenings.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

if i had 70 emails a day i wouldn't reply...i just physically don't have the time....simple as....

At the moment I mail the odd on or two but as I am very pedantic what I am looking for...

clubs meets in london or manchester

couples and single fems

couples / fems in se that can accommodate

Week day play is tough as no car and I work 8 till 6.

That means I don't mail as many people as I would like. I might send the odd wink to say hi i am interested and I may add to hotlist to follow up with.

I am realistic with the amount of response i get, i tend to find if i have spoken to them on forum or chat i get more or a response than a "new mail" but in my time in the scene that has always been the case.......

i know i am not everyones cup of tea...i am to young looking and not built enough...i accept that,,,,that life,,,

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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

We hate it when people send message as if there talking to a

Single fem.

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By *orth West CoupleCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I appreciate all whats said...i just feel that i mite be just waiting time and effort "
Well you haven't spent much time and effort on your profile it just say's ....

"hey there looking for females.and couples xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am a man and i get hundreds of mails a day and i reply to each end every one with a very polite response, be it yes or no...

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