FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating / bit on the side / affairs

By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if the person playing with the married person knows, then yes i agree, but if they have no idea then no

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By *earlyNipsCouple
over a year ago

St Neots

Agreed. I’ve never understood that thought process of “well I don’t know them and haven’t agreed that I wouldn’t be actively and knowingly involved in hurting them so I’m completely morally ok”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

We totally agree.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach? "

Is it being judgemental or honest?

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

I'm a "scummy" guy who enjoys meeting married girls. I'm single. I don't want to know anyone,s private business. They seem to enjoy it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a "scummy" guy who enjoys meeting married girls. I'm single. I don't want to know anyone,s private business. They seem to enjoy it too.

What you do is your business, but glad you agree it is scummy.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

Don’t like being told to discuss but it’s a no from me

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By *har mouthfulMan
over a year ago

london

I think people on here should be treated equal... if they're cheating its their business! After all we are all here to have fun right?

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"I think people on here should be treated equal... if they're cheating its their business! After all we are all here to have fun right?"

Totally agree that. But some folk just have to judge others

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By *idnight_Express69Man
over a year ago

Rochdale

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

No. A single person has no ties or responsibilities to the married person or their partner. The married person cheating on their partner is solely responsible for any ‘betrayal’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a minefield knowing who married or not as a married woman looking to meet guys i find my self asking and most say no and i have to believe that i cant tie them to a chair and truth drug them for the real answer plus when in clubs with hubs we never hear anyone asking if someone is married or not and i guess the doggers dont ask ...

most of those that wont meet married probably already have but just dont know it

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"I'm a "scummy" guy who enjoys meeting married girls. I'm single. I don't want to know anyone,s private business. They seem to enjoy it too.

What you do is your business, but glad you agree it is scummy."

I said "I'm a "scummy" guy, not "it is scummy"

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach?

Is it being judgemental or honest?

Judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The married person made vows to their spouse which included "to the exclusion of all others"

The single person did not

I wouldn't knowingly involve myself with a cheater

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Cheating isn't okay.

From any side.

Sad fucks on here who include others in their cheating without telling them are pathetic.

Cheating isn't swinging.

"We all just want fun". I'm sure their partner, sat at home alone and wondering what time their significant other is coming home is having fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach?

Is it being judgemental or honest?

Judgemental. "

It isn't judgemental to state a fact.

You are saying cheating isn't wrong??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a strong disagree from us.

One makes a commitment to ones partner, that does not extend to binding any person not party to that commitment.

If you wish to decline an offer because you don't feel right being the other man/woman for a married person, that's your prerogative, more for us. We are bound only by that to which we agree, in one form or another.

Having myself (M) played all 3 roles in this little story; cheating, cheated on, cheated with, I can say I've never blamed the person with whom someone cheated on me.

The only exception to this is where:

A: The person knows of the relationship

and

B: The person has a relationship of some sort with the victim of the cheating which itself involves a degree of trust or closeness. Ie no fucking your friends GFs, their exes unless they are cool with it, no partners of relatives or even acquaintances.

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach? "

My soon to be ex husband is French & he had a long affair which I found out about. The French attitude is 'sure its just sex'. A good few of his friends had affairs on their wives too.

MsD

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Nothing healthy about making vowes to a person & smashing that into little pieces. I believed in my marriage despite the ups/downs. Have some respect for the other person & put your hand up & say you arent happy. Its that simple.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"I think people on here should be treated equal... if they're cheating its their business! After all we are all here to have fun right?"

Tell that to the spouse at home probably looking after kids doing housework while their other half is fucking anything that moves. Lies hurts people cheating is the lowest of the low. Also for me anyone that wants to cheat on their spouse does have the character traits I look for honesty, integrity ... cheaters are liars and lies are a turn off.

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

Only 1 person makes vows its not the same in my opinion its not great but definitely not equal responsibility a single person is entitled to have a relationship with anyone the person in a relationship is being unfaithful

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"I think people on here should be treated equal... if they're cheating its their business! After all we are all here to have fun right?

Totally agree that. But some folk just have to judge others

Isn’t your/ their wife also to be treated equally? With respect?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morally wrong, yes. To blame? Yes But EQUALLY to blame? No.

Only one person took vows. The weight of blame is definitely slanted towards the one cheating.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach?

Is it being judgemental or honest?

Judgemental.

It isn't judgemental to state a fact.

You are saying cheating isn't wrong??"

What ‘fact’?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrong on every level.

If you know someone is attached you should have more respect for yourself, and for the 3rd party than to get involved.

If you are the one cheating, you should end your relationship first, then go seek others.

As you can tell, I feel very strongly about this.

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By *ohnny3333Man
over a year ago

fleetwood

Im on the other side i get a kik out of my wife cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does make me laugh how the person being cheated on always gets portrayed as a saint, just sitting at home, doing the housework, waiting for their cheating spouse to come home

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"It does make me laugh how the person being cheated on always gets portrayed as a saint, just sitting at home, doing the housework, waiting for their cheating spouse to come home

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By *KMaxMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I understand that many will not play with 'cheats', that is of course their choice.

However, I also think whatever happens between consenting adults is nobody's business but their own.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

My view is that if the single person is aware that it's cheating / an affair, then yes, they are complicit in the deceit and their behaviour is morally and ethically wrong.

If they are under the impression that their relations to the married person are above board, or than the married person is also single, then no, they aren't complicit and are another victim of deceit alongside the married person's partner.

I used to think of infidelity as much more of a black and white issue, and that all cheaters were just horrible, evil people. I now understand that it's much more grey, and that while cheating will always be morally and ethically wrong, everyone's situation is different and there's usually a multitude of other factors at play. Thus, I get why people do it, or feel they've got no other choice than to do it. As Dr. Manhattan said; "Without condemning, or condoning... I understand."

On a personal level, I would never cheat on my wife, nor would I ever knowingly be complicit in another person's cheating. It's ENM (ethical non-monogamy) or bust, in my eyes. It's the only way to bring about the cultuarl shift needed to create a better sexual landscape, with more trust, between men and women (and between everyone). That's my choice, everyone must make theirs.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I wouldn't say either party are necessarily "scummy."

There are all sorts of reasons that someone might cheat.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"My view is that if the single person is aware that it's cheating / an affair, then yes, they are complicit in the deceit and their behaviour is morally and ethically wrong.

I think everyone understand why .... long term sex or intimacy becomes hard work/ boring/ mismatched. The issue is how you tackle that as a person says a lot about your character. Regardless of the why and the why isn’t anyone’s business it’s the how that separates the ‘men from the boys’ communication and resolution is the ‘grown up’ way to deal with it and reach a compromise or split up. Furtively joining a swingers site and sending faf messages or saying discreet meets during the day only, is a cowards way out and cowards ain’t sexy.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"I think everyone understand why .... long term sex or intimacy becomes hard work/ boring/ mismatched. The issue is how you tackle that as a person says a lot about your character. Regardless of the why and the why isn’t anyone’s business it’s the how that separates the ‘men from the boys’ communication and resolution is the ‘grown up’ way to deal with it and reach a compromise or split up. Furtively joining a swingers site and sending faf messages or saying discreet meets during the day only, is a cowards way out and cowards ain’t sexy. "

The main issue is that what most people don't understand is that there are always other ways and means, other options available. Unfortunately, we've been socio-culturally programmed for the last few hundred years that having multiple partners / lovers simple isn't a valid or acceptable option. We therefore feel guilt and shame for our desires, and feel like we've no other choice than to lie, cheat and hide, yes, from a sense of fear. That's what causes the pain and damages the trust - the deceit, the going behind their back, not the desire for multiple sexual / romantic partners, or that actual actions. That's where the work needs to happen, where the changes to our perceptions need to come from... only then will our actions follow accordingly.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Am I the only person who sleeps with someone who's married? I'd say up to half of relationships have infidelity involved. Just most don't know. Afterall, there's never a shortage of cheaters. Monogamy is so passe now.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

People are here to meet and have sex so personal opinion do come into it if they're happy and doing what they want wouldn't be for us to but criticise we have to accept that they want to do..

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"Am I the only person who sleeps with someone who's married? I'd say up to half of relationships have infidelity involved. Just most don't know. Afterall, there's never a shortage of cheaters. Monogamy is so passe now.

I don’t .... if they’re playing with permission then maybe if they’re not then it’s a cold hard pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im clear and up front with guys and would be the same if i met a woman if your married then its your parcel any drama comes my way then ill grab hubs and tell the other person that we are swinger on a swingers site and have no way of knowing ..its not our fault her or his partner is cheating on a swingers site ..do i feel sorry yes 100% can i stop it from happening then no for as long as people can lie then anything is possible ....im not in the wrong im not cheating

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

The only person in the wrong is the one who is in a relationship the other person has no loyalties to anyone...This only applies to strangers if they are cheating with a friend /relative etc then that’s another matter..

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

Quite a significant percentage of folks on here are cheating some are honest in their profile some are not if someone sets out to cheat on their partner eventually they will achieve it to give equal blame to the person they sleep with seems unfair unless like someone said above they know them are friends or family of partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Morally wrong, yes. To blame? Yes But EQUALLY to blame? No.

Only one person took vows. The weight of blame is definitely slanted towards the one cheating."

Completely agree with this!!!

It is ugly either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave the fucking Frenchs out of this please

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By *isstonguetasticjoWoman
over a year ago

widnes

Theres nothing worse that all of you msrried peoole male and female who are either married or have partners who are shaggin everyone behind ur own partners backs especially married ones

Just shows u show no respect to them n dont give a shit,

Especially wen u state on ur profiles

'I'M MARRIED BUT THEY DONT JNOW IM ON HERE'

SHAME ON YOU THEN

Just think of it the other way then

When ur married partner catches u out and kicks u out the house for instance or if u hsve kids stops u seein the kids

Who will b laffin then

Nothing nore thsn lyin n deceitful bastards

But u think its ok on here tho

But thi k of the outside world

If a single fella shaggin a married woman n the hubby finds out watvis his first movement he makes

To find the lad she shaggin n knock him out

But its down to the wife at fault

Bet she shit herself then wont she

Bribe him with all sorries

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

[Removed by poster at 11/09/20 18:58:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When ur married partner catches u out and kicks u out the house for instance or if u hsve kids stops u seein the kids

Then the person stopping them seeing their kids is the lowest scum of the earth.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Leave the fucking Frenchs out of this please

Oh, I'm all for fucking the French

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By *lipperywhenwet07Couple
over a year ago

llanelli

Everyone has own moral compass .. if you feel it’s ok to lie and cheat it’s your issue - you are the one who has to look in the mirror

No one can tell you It’s how you justify it to yourself and deal with fallout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This ^^^

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"if the person playing with the married person knows, then yes i agree, but if they have no idea then no"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares.

its no ones place to judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

No. A single person has no ties or responsibilities to the married person or their partner. The married person cheating on their partner is solely responsible for any ‘betrayal’ "

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By *ilkyladyWoman
over a year ago

Burton on Trent

I tend to avoid married men personally. It just feels wrong for me. Once met a guy years ago and he was talking about his wife not being very adventurous in bed and it just made me feel like a bad person for meeting him.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Both at fault in my opinion and if you meet married men /women, you should appreciate that there may be consequences that come with that, if the affair comes to light.

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By *iger-NWMan
over a year ago

Preston

Maybe there's a difference in sexually cheating and emotional cheating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The French are not so judgemental and damning. Perhaps they have a healthier approach?

Is it being judgemental or honest?

Judgemental.

It isn't judgemental to state a fact.

You are saying cheating isn't wrong??

What ‘fact’?"

The fact that cheating and dishonesty is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Point is it's a site to meet up and have fun, some people want different types of fun and thrills some are more particular in seeing a specific type who isn't committed, however some and alot of people are ok with the idea of a cheating partner or being the cheater no one at all has earned the right to call it out and pass on judgement as if their own bed sheets are angelic white ffs. If you don't like it let the person in question know and dont meet..and if you do like it then have at it.

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe. "

Let's be fair now. this site is called Fabswingers not Fabcheaters.

A clue in the title.

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"Agreed. I’ve never understood that thought process of “well I don’t know them and haven’t agreed that I wouldn’t be actively and knowingly involved in hurting them so I’m completely morally ok”. "

This! We will not be complicit in anyone's misery for our pleasure.

Consensual between all parties.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe. "

Yep I’m judging ... I’ve earned that right by being a decent human being. It’s just awful that you’re justifying someone’s life being totally and utterly destroyed as some selfish arsehole wanted a shag. How on earth is that fun? Christ

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

On the flip side it could be argued that affairs keep marriages together by fulfilling the one thing that could be missing and often is. Family life remains intact, personal desires are satisfied and nobody need know. Just maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of couples on this site that profess their love and admiration for each other..... Then the husband/wife is messaging people for some fun on the side is astonishing.......

Can we all just try to meet nice people for great sex?

Rather than grabbing our pitchforks and torches daily ready to burn at the stake... every cheating single , barebacker , and bi male.....

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

I think maybe it depends on how you see sex, as in ‘it’s just sex’ for a temporary high or it’s much more meaningful? Can you separate the physical aspect from the emotional?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think maybe it depends on how you see sex, as in ‘it’s just sex’ for a temporary high or it’s much more meaningful? Can you separate the physical aspect from the emotional?

Surely how your partner sees it should be taken into consideration as well?

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

"I think maybe it depends on how you see sex, as in ‘it’s just sex’ for a temporary high or it’s much more meaningful? Can you separate the physical aspect from the emotional?

Surely how your partner sees it should be taken into consideration as well?"

You miss the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never understood monogamy.

Nor judging people who do or dont

I have never cheated on anyone in my life. If I am not happy, I have always been honest about it. BUT.... some are not. It is just the way it is.

Have you considered those that are deeply unhappy in their relationship but, for whatever reason are unable to talk about it or, get out of it?

My wife and I have agreed to be open yet still get people being odd about it!

Meh, you will or you wont, its not something you should loose sleep over...well unless you are the poor sod being cheated on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's cute you think you have the right to judge anyone else by self claiming you're a decent human being and anyone who disagrees is not worthy of being called a decent human being apparently. Clearly you missed the point where I'm not justifying someone cheating but calling out those 'self righteous' who act as if they do no wrong and just sit there passing judgment on anyone who isn't up to their standard of living.

But hey you must be one of those perfect flawless angels who is incapable of doing wrong :p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think maybe it depends on how you see sex, as in ‘it’s just sex’ for a temporary high or it’s much more meaningful? Can you separate the physical aspect from the emotional?

Surely how your partner sees it should be taken into consideration as well?"

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

I'm not sure I agree, unless the other person is actively seducing a married woman/man... and even then as a married guy I think it's MY responsibility to tell the ladies that I'm "not available" no matter how persistent they might be. If I was to cheat it would be totally 100% my responsibility.

Cal

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"It's cute you think you have the right to judge anyone else by self claiming you're a decent human being and anyone who disagrees is not worthy of being called a decent human being apparently. Clearly you missed the point where I'm not justifying someone cheating but calling out those 'self righteous' who act as if they do no wrong and just sit there passing judgment on anyone who isn't up to their standard of living.

But hey you must be one of those perfect flawless angels who is incapable of doing wrong :p

‘Cute’

..... I’m not 12.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These threads never go well.

Life is complicated for many people - sometimes there are nuances and shades of grey. Its often not a simple yes or no story - not just on this subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

It sounds to me you should focus on yourself

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

I don't think they're as guilty as the person cheating how can they be,but I do think they're scummy.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I never even think to ask people if they're married if I'm meeting them. I don't think it's my business, the same way that my business isn't their business.

If people I meet are cheating, I don't feel it's my problem, it's theirs.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

In my experience, me sleeping with a married/attached person, has only resulted in one break up, as far as I know. And that was when hubby asked me to! Sometimes an extra person can help couples stay together. A certain lady, I'm seeing, loves her hubby but can't have a sex life with him. I keep them together. Everyone has needs, and shouldn't be judged. Remember, the vast majority of the country, think ALL people on fab are "scummy". I don't listen to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

Yes cheating isn’t “black and white” and no not all those beings cheated on are saints, however in my opinion if you can lie and cheat on the one person in your life you’re supposed to love and be honest with, you can do that and more to anyone else and are someone I would never trust.

I’ve watched people attempt to justify their cheating and it’s because they don’t feel fully comfortable doing what they do. If they did, they wouldn’t need to attempt to justify it or “explain” why they do what they do, they’d just get on with it.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

You don't need to justify or explain yourself either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my experience, me sleeping with a married/attached person, has only resulted in one break up, as far as I know. And that was when hubby asked me to! Sometimes an extra person can help couples stay together. A certain lady, I'm seeing, loves her hubby but can't have a sex life with him. I keep them together. Everyone has needs, and shouldn't be judged. Remember, the vast majority of the country, think ALL people on fab are "scummy". I don't listen to them

I don’t believe the “Affairs keep marriages together” crap.

I think affairs and cheating are just a bandage, they hide all the other issues because one half of the couple is getting their fantasies and desired fulfilled, there’s still issues and problems.

That’s why they’re going elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

You don't need to justify or explain yourself either

I’m not, nor would I.

I’m comfortable in what I’m doing so I don’t need to explain myself to strangers online.

Many cheaters do that because in my opinion they’re looking for acceptance or for someone to agree with what they’re doing so they can “feel” like it’s right.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

You don't need to justify or explain yourself either

I’m not, nor would I.

I’m comfortable in what I’m doing so I don’t need to explain myself to strangers online.

Many cheaters do that because in my opinion they’re looking for acceptance or for someone to agree with what they’re doing so they can “feel” like it’s right. "

Is your "opinion" valid?. Have you been the extra lady or are you just guessin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

You don't need to justify or explain yourself either

I’m not, nor would I.

I’m comfortable in what I’m doing so I don’t need to explain myself to strangers online.

Many cheaters do that because in my opinion they’re looking for acceptance or for someone to agree with what they’re doing so they can “feel” like it’s right.

Is your "opinion" valid?. Have you been the extra lady or are you just guessin

Any opinion is valid, my opinion is no more or less valid than yours.

No I’ve not been the “extra lady”. I’ve been the one cheated on so I have personal experience on how cheaters look for justification, and acceptance and make excuses for what they’re doing.

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

No. A single person has no ties or responsibilities to the married person or their partner. The married person cheating on their partner is solely responsible for any ‘betrayal’ "

Even though they know they are going to be instrumental in someone’s pain and suffering ? Or worse !

They are just as culpable and anyone that says otherwise is trying to convince themselves they are not scummy for doing it .

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"Cheating isn't okay.

From any side.

Sad fucks on here who include others in their cheating without telling them are pathetic.

Cheating isn't swinging.

"We all just want fun". I'm sure their partner, sat at home alone and wondering what time their significant other is coming home is having fun. "

Very well said !

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"Wrong on every level.

If you know someone is attached you should have more respect for yourself, and for the 3rd party than to get involved.

If you are the one cheating, you should end your relationship first, then go seek others.

As you can tell, I feel very strongly about this."

Absolutely spot on .

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"I understand that many will not play with 'cheats', that is of course their choice.

However, I also think whatever happens between consenting adults is nobody's business but their own.

But not the business of their wife / husband / partner ?

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe. "

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"On the flip side it could be argued that affairs keep marriages together by fulfilling the one thing that could be missing and often is. Family life remains intact, personal desires are satisfied and nobody need know. Just maybe?

No , just no .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People constantly cry about “judgement” and being judged on here for cheating, yet they judge themselves.

We all do it, we all judge when we don’t even notice. Because it’s human nature.

I do not think the blame can be put on a single person cheating with a married person, although in my eyes it’s low, the married person is the one being deceitful.

You don't need to justify or explain yourself either

I’m not, nor would I.

I’m comfortable in what I’m doing so I don’t need to explain myself to strangers online.

Many cheaters do that because in my opinion they’re looking for acceptance or for someone to agree with what they’re doing so they can “feel” like it’s right.

Is your "opinion" valid?. Have you been the extra lady or are you just guessin

Any opinion is valid, my opinion is no more or less valid than yours.

No I’ve not been the “extra lady”. I’ve been the one cheated on so I have personal experience on how cheaters look for justification, and acceptance and make excuses for what they’re doing.

I’m curious and am interested in whether you think you had any blame , even if only a small amount, for why your partner cheated on you.

I’m not saying he was right to do so but I do think there’s usually a reason why and I don’t think it’s a case of the cheater being the bastard and the one being cheated on being a saint who’s done no wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ? "

What if the person cheating just for sex because their partner isn’t interested in sex but they don’t want to leave because they have children and they love their partner, it’s just sex that’s missing. What should they do?

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

That's easy! Message me!

Fab James at your service mam!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m curious and am interested in whether you think you had any blame , even if only a small amount, for why your partner cheated on you.

No. I don’t think I was to blame at all. I adored this person and did a lot for them, when in a relationship I’m pretty much a devoted person, I’m sure anyone who has been cheated on can relate that you actually do at some point blame yourself and wonder what you did wrong I did that for months. They didn’t just cheat once, it was several times with several people.

I split up with him after finding out and months down the line was still finding out things from other people. He was blocked on everything but made a new account on Facebook to send me a message full of apologies, stating I wasn’t to blame for anything (we had arguments where I’d asked) it was all him and he had no explanation or justification for it other than he’s a “shitty person”, his words.

We actually met up to chat things over, he was a mess, apologising, stating he will never love anyone else as much as he loved me, he regrets it all and wish he could go back, blah blah blah. As far as I know he hasn’t been in a relationship since, we have mutual friends and it turns out he had cheated on almost every girlfriend he’d been with. So, no blame.

That whole situation completely changed how I trust people, how I view people and how I am in relationships.

For some cheaters it’s just about sex and doing something that they shouldn’t be. Those few hours that cheaters spend having fun are a few years of rebuilding confidence, self esteem and trust for those of us who have been cheated on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is far too much judgement in this world. Id you dont like it then fine and you can keep your distance, however it is for the individuals concerned conscience to decide not someone unconnected with him/her/them. Being kind means not prejudging. Rant over!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m curious and am interested in whether you think you had any blame , even if only a small amount, for why your partner cheated on you.

That whole situation completely changed how I trust people, how I view people and how I am in relationships.

Your situation sounds like mine. We were together a matter of months when his cheating started.

Even after I divorced him he begged me to stay with him

2 years ago he sat down & admitted 'some' of the women. So many were my friends, the nursery worker who I handed my child to daily - same womans who's pregnant belly I used to feel moving (he was asked for a DNA on her child), his relatives partners

He enjoyed the thrill, danger & excitement

He cheated on his first wife & all his partners in the 9 years we've been apart

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage! "

That last paragraph is just plain bull .

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

Leave and set a good example to the children.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

That last paragraph is just plain bull ."

Wrong!

I'm in exactly that situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

That last paragraph is just plain bull ."

It's wrong to you but I can assure you it's the reality for some.

No one is asking you to enter into one of these situations. It might be time to respectfully agree to disagree

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss "

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

That's easy! Message me!

Fab James at your service mam!

Yet you’ve put yourself down as straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m curious and am interested in whether you think you had any blame , even if only a small amount, for why your partner cheated on you.

That whole situation completely changed how I trust people, how I view people and how I am in relationships.

Thank you for your response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

Leave and set a good example to the children."

Take the children with them then? Why should they not have their children living with them? It’s the other person’s fault for not wanting sex with the person they’ve chosen to spend their life with so they’re the one who should suffer.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

That's easy! Message me!

Fab James at your service mam!

Yet you’ve put yourself down as straight

I said "mam". Thought that might be a pointer, straight on my profile?

Well, there wasn't a "Nearly straight" button to press

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see many perfect angels on here passing on judgment, trying to pass on their accurate pin point straighter than straight moral compass on to others..

Personally I'd be reluctant because of potential drama but someone will find something wrong with that and pass judgement on that too at some point because it doesn't align with what they believe.

What about what the partner being cheated on wants ?

That's easy! Message me!

Fab James at your service mam!

Yet you’ve put yourself down as straight

I said "mam". Thought that might be a pointer, straight on my profile?

Well, there wasn't a "Nearly straight" button to press

My question was about both sexes though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This whole thread makes my stomache turn. I was on the receiving end of being cheated on and it ruined my life almost ended it completely for a very long time. It's all well and good saying oh well if knowone knows knowone gets hurt, what happens when they do know and do get hurt? I'm not even going to bother putting my views fully on here to the people who think cheating is fine, or being the other guy, I'm all for to each there own with know judgement, but if it comes at the expense of someone else then I hope you suffer at some point.

Its not swinging, its deceit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read a lot of very traditional comments here, no real mention of bi women and men? People living complex lives, too fearful to come out to their partners and family.

I sleep with anyone I'm attracted to, regardless of their relationship status. My moral compass points directly towards hedonism. Total discretion from me and not remotely interested in other's judgement. A few of you should try it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m curious and am interested in whether you think you had any blame , even if only a small amount, for why your partner cheated on you.

That whole situation completely changed how I trust people, how I view people and how I am in relationships.

Thank you for your response. "

No problem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps"

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

Why is it when it comes to cheating people always use the “judgment” line but when talking about other things whether it’s politics, not fancying fat women, not liking old men or anything else the “judgement” line isn’t used nearly half as much.

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/"

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This! We will not be complicit in anyone's misery for our pleasure.

Consensual between all parties. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

There’s no maybe about it.

You’re welcome to keep it to yourself, others are welcome not to.

Everyone is entitled to express their own opinion.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

There’s no maybe about it.

You’re welcome to keep it to yourself, others are welcome not to.

Everyone is entitled to express their own opinion. "

I so dislike the word "entitled *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

The thread asks people to discuss. How can they discuss it without mentioning their opinion?

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

The thread asks people to discuss. How can they discuss it without mentioning their opinion? "

Opinions are fine, judging people and telling them isn't.

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By *ristol BiteMan
over a year ago

all over

A few years ago on my old profile on here I met a woman and had a wonderful time...

Things went well, had a few drinks and then back to mine where all sorts of depraved fun happened.

Afterwards she told me "I'm married, but he's ok with it." her profile on here was a single profile... If it had been a couple's profile or she had told me beforehand I may have felt differently but as it was... I half expected a guy with a baseball bat to be waiting for me at my flat every day when I came back from work.

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

That last paragraph is just plain bull .

It's wrong to you but I can assure you it's the reality for some.

No one is asking you to enter into one of these situations. It might be time to respectfully agree to disagree "

Nobody is asking the cheated on partner either !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do love reading the comments on these topics.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/"

Because of the name calling and judgement that is happening in this thread.... They are "scummy" "shit heads" etc... In other threads I don't see many being judged for having a different opinion... And yeah sometimes people are judgemental on other threads too and should be called our for it. It's highly unlikely many people contributing on these threads know anything about other people on here, or their personal circumstances. It's good to discuss and debate and disagree but judging random strangers....not ideal.(nor is cheating but I won't judge those that choose to)

As for the semantic debate over fabswingers... Everyone has a different idea of what a swinger is and the overlap with sexual activity is huge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

That last paragraph is just plain bull .

It's wrong to you but I can assure you it's the reality for some.

No one is asking you to enter into one of these situations. It might be time to respectfully agree to disagree

Nobody is asking the cheated on partner either ! "

I’d be more sympathetic to the one being cheated on if they didn’t always portray themselves as a living saint who was the perfect partner.

People cheat because there’s a problem in the relationship which involves two people and there’s usually blame on both sides for it to get to the point where infidelity occurs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's rarely that black and white.

I'm under no illusions I've been in the wrong but the stereotype of being cold, heartless etc is very wrong in my case

I'd also say that there are likely many people who are "the bit on the side" and it's the reason the other person is still in their marriage!

That last paragraph is just plain bull .

It's wrong to you but I can assure you it's the reality for some.

No one is asking you to enter into one of these situations. It might be time to respectfully agree to disagree

Nobody is asking the cheated on partner either !

I’d be more sympathetic to the one being cheated on if they didn’t always portray themselves as a living saint who was the perfect partner.

People cheat because there’s a problem in the relationship which involves two people and there’s usually blame on both sides for it to get to the point where infidelity occurs.

Not in every case.

My ex did it purely for the thrill, excitement & danger

He cheated on his wife before me and all his relationships after me.

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By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading

no matter how it makes you feel, surly it is up to the individual who they have sex with, even if there married, most guys on here are married, and every couple on here are having sex with others after all its a swingers site where people meet others just for sex ,, no commitment if a married woman wants to fuck a single guy, that is there business, ,, you cant call them scummy because they see it different you you, after all many reasons for seeing others for sexual enjoyment , and that is what its about enjoyment, and on another note many husband enjoy there wives fucking other guys, even if these other guys are married or single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It never ceases to amaze us just how many people think that it is ok for innocent partners to be treated so badly.

We are not talking about judging, we don't care about judging cheats-it's obvious that they can live with their dishonesty, but to defend those actions??

Is that what this site is all about?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If one knows the other is married then they are equally culpable. However, I don't accept that all affairs make for scummy people. I (Luke) was in an abusive and sexless relationship for years. I felt like I needed an outlet.

My wife (we are currently divorcing) told me to go and have sex with other people because I wouldn't get it from her and my advances pissed her off. The trouble was when I did go out she went ape shit at me. I carried on doing what she told me to do but just didn't tell her.

My wife is a narcissistic monster who is still trying to make my life a misery. I needed to get out. I needed to feel I could relate to people normally. Assuming that I am entirely guilty and she was entirely innocent is simply not a proper understanding of the situation.

You won't always know what's going on under the surface so I don't think anybody has the right to make a blanket condemnation without knowing the big picture.

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By *iguy for funMan
over a year ago

CIRENCESTER

the comment about what about bi people is an interesting one. most bi guys are already living a lie by being so far in the closet that they can touch narnia - are we saying that bi people should remain single for ever? or give up one part of their life? appreciate that people will say they should find a partner/wife/husband who is prepared to allow them to be themselves.

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By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading

"the comment about what about bi people is an interesting one. most bi guys are already living a lie by being so far in the closet that they can touch narnia - are we saying that bi people should remain single for ever? or give up one part of their life? appreciate that people will say they should find a partner/wife/husband who is prepared to allow them to be themselves. "

big tumbs up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These things are never black and white. I don't judge because you never know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. And I don't get too involved with those i meet. I've no desire to know about their life. And they know very little about mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being bisexual doesn't mean someone will drop dead if they don't have sex with both men and women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Maybe we all do judge others. But I'd keep it to myself

There’s no maybe about it.

You’re welcome to keep it to yourself, others are welcome not to.

Everyone is entitled to express their own opinion.

I so dislike the word "entitled *

You don’t have to use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so in my opinion if a single person is sleeping with / seeing a married person , they are just as guilty as the person cheating .

I have heard many justify it by saying “well I’m doing nothing wrong , he/ she is the married one !”.

I disagree and think people who are happy to sleep / have affairs with married people are just as scummy .

Discuss

Not sure having more judgemental people helps

Why does nobody complain people are judgmental when people post their opinions on other things?

If you’re not judging you can’t be alive. We all do it.

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

As for the semantic debate over fabswingers... Everyone has a different idea of what a swinger is and the overlap with sexual activity is huge. "

It isn’t a difference of opinion though that people are calling scummy is it?

It’s cheating and those who participate in it, and whether you like it or not that is their opinion.

If people are going to cheat on their partners or cheat with those who cheat they have to understand others will have their view and won’t be afraid to accept it.

Those who are okay with what they’re doing won’t be bothered by a bunch of strangers online having a strong opinion...

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Although I respect your opinion, I thoroughly disagree with it.

Times are changing and sexual freedom is coming for everyone

You might as well get on the party boat, or do you just want to float away?

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I think the onus is on the attached person that is seeing the single. They are in control and call the shots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was with a married woman for 7 wonderful years her hubby used to drop her at mine and she spent 4 days a week with me and 3 days with her hubby .i consider it wasent rong and we all got on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

t never ceases to amaze us just how many people think that it is ok for innocent partners to be treated so badly.

“innocent partners”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/20 21:11:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one knows the other is married then they are equally culpable. However, I don't accept that all affairs make for scummy people. I (Luke) was in an abusive and sexless relationship for years. I felt like I needed an outlet.

You won't always know what's going on under the surface so I don't think anybody has the right to make a blanket condemnation without knowing the big picture. "

Did you not get your copy of the female vocabulary dictionary?

Do that means dont do it, yes means no, no means maybe next year.

I'll see you another time means do you want to go sailing

Am I fat is defo not to be answered.

And you're not mine but you're also no one else's however I'm everyone's but not only yours.

Simple really isn't it lol

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By *ingdong11 OP Man
over a year ago

emsworth

"I was with a married woman for 7 wonderful years her hubby used to drop her at mine and she spent 4 days a week with me and 3 days with her hubby .i consider it wasent rong and we all got on"

That isn’t cheating though .

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