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D/S Relationships - Power

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

We have been thinking about many of our earlier conversations with people in the scene, and who really holds the power within the D/S relationship and why (Dominant or Submissive)

There have been a great many answers, some can be considered right, others were most definitely wrong!

We would be interested in hearing Everyone’s thoughts on this question, and hopefully we can also help people to identify the right answers

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Both of you equally.if either of you want to stop or change something then you both have the power to do that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Both of you equally.if either of you want to stop or change something then you both have the power to do that."

Yep!

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?"

yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM

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By *aughtychopsCouple
over a year ago

Dartford


"We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?

yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?

yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"

Oooh like it, a spot on answer!

You would be surprised how many times we heard that it was always the dominant who was in control

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Both of you equally.if either of you want to stop or change something then you both have the power to do that."

This

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?

yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"

As you know I have been saying this for years. In a balanced, constructive D/S relationship it is a mutual balance of power.

However there used to be a view back in the day that the dominant had all the power. This is still expoused by porn and those wanting to exploit subs (putting aside the master and slave situation where the sub consensually and emotionally waives their power, but even then they can back out).

There was a pendulum swing to the polar opposite position some years ago and many people put forward that the sub has all the power. I have disagreed in forums with this position and my back is scarred from debates with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both of you equally.if either of you want to stop or change something then you both have the power to do that."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are in this dynamic, neither holds the power, we have mutual respect for each other and have spoken about consensual issues.

I can always use my safe word if needed and daddy will always stop instantly. If I cannot speak we have other signals that I can do to stop play.

However I trust daddy fully to be able to know my limits.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.

Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"We don’t disagree with you there

But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?

yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM

As you know I have been saying this for years. In a balanced, constructive D/S relationship it is a mutual balance of power.

However there used to be a view back in the day that the dominant had all the power. This is still expoused by porn and those wanting to exploit subs (putting aside the master and slave situation where the sub consensually and emotionally waives their power, but even then they can back out).

There was a pendulum swing to the polar opposite position some years ago and many people put forward that the sub has all the power. I have disagreed in forums with this position and my back is scarred from debates with them.

"

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.

Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.

"

You are very right, given power is stronger than taken!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always thought that was better to serve and please because wanted to and respected the person enough to give your best, rather than out of fear of what the person may do if you displease

for me knowing i had let someone down was often worst punishment while recognising both dominant and sub are human and can both make mistakes

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

The great thing about kink is that as long as it is done consensually and without abuse it really is different strokes for different folks. The difficult thing about kink is meeting a matching partner/playmate.

Oh and people who don't understand your dynamic saying you are doing it wrong are a downside.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.

Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.

You are very right, given power is stronger than taken!"

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