FabSwingers.com forum: A question for bi fem couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My girlfriend says she isn’t sexually attracted to females and during day to day life, has no interest in doing anything sexual with another female and never thinks of them in that way.

My question is. If we’re having a foursome and my girlfriend ‘in the moment’ wants to touch the woman’s boobs or let’s the woman go down on her, does that make her bi curious, bi sexual or neither?

I was under the assumption you’re only bi sexual or bi curious if you have a sexual attraction to another person of the same sex?

Or does simply playing with another woman during the heat of the moment automatically make you bi?

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By *nya888Woman
over a year ago

London

If she says she isn't attracted to females I would just reject that she isn't. If she touches another female in a group play, maybe she is a lite curious after all, but she could also be doing it because of other's expectations/pressure. Listen and respect her choice and no need to label anything, is my advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If she says she isn't attracted to females I would just reject that she isn't. If she touches another female in a group play, maybe she is a lite curious after all, but she could also be doing it because of other's expectations/pressure. Listen and respect her choice and no need to label anything, is my advice "

Thanks for your reply.

Personally I feel she would do it in a group situation for my benefit. I feel she’s just afraid of being labelled bi. Not that being bi is a bad thing, I just don’t think she wants the label.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Let’s swing this round onto me. I don’t consider myself bi and have no interest in giving men oral. If we were having a foursome and I sucked off the guy for a bit during play because it turned my girlfriend on, does that make me bi? Despite the fact it was done in the heat of the moment and I’m not sexually attracted to men?

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By *nya888Woman
over a year ago

London

I think labels are silly but if we are to discuss it I would say no. Doing something because you think someone else will enjoy it or want you to do it does not make you the label. If you do not enjoy it then you're not bi, you're just accommodating to other people's wishes or expectations. Or pressure.

If you take it to another level.. you can be forced against your will to do something with the same sex. So that would not make you bi or gay. Just sexually abused.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/20 15:54:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think labels are silly but if we are to discuss it I would say no. Doing something because you think someone else will enjoy it or want you to do it does not make you the label. If you do not enjoy it then you're not bi, you're just accommodating to other people's wishes or expectations. Or pressure.

If you take it to another level.. you can be forced against your will to do something with the same sex. So that would not make you bi or gay. Just sexually abused."

Yea I suppose it’s all down to wether said person is actually ok with it or not.

Nobody should do something they aren’t comfortable with, especially just to please their partner. If they don’t mind and will do it simply to please someone else then I don’t feel that they should feel they have to be labelled as bi.

Thanks for your advice.

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

Bi-playful?

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By *umasutraCouple
over a year ago

Guildford

We have played with many couples that claim that the woman is bi. When play starts it becomes obvious that the lady is doing it for her partner’s enjoyment and isn’t genuinely bi. This is really frustrating for genuinely bi ladies. Your partner can’t fake it with genuinely bi ladies.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'd say curious,if doing it for herself, but not sure if it's done for someone else's benefit

I am totally straight and I wouldn't play with another lady in any situation.

As long as everyone's happy then I don't think it matters

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Sexuality is a scale. Some people are way over on one side and some way over on the other. Many people are at some point in between but not all in the same place.

Trying to give those in-between points a label like bi-curious is just a game of semantics. It depends where you draw the line. Not everybody will accept the same point on the scale.

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

It makes her fun! It doesn’t need a label

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By *oxychick35Couple
over a year ago

thornaby

"Let’s swing this round onto me. I don’t consider myself bi and have no interest in giving men oral. If we were having a foursome and I sucked off the guy for a bit during play because it turned my girlfriend on, does that make me bi? Despite the fact it was done in the heat of the moment and I’m not sexually attracted to men?"
if you sucked a cock I’d say yr bi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It makes her fun! It doesn’t need a label"

This is exactly the way I see it.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

There is newish term now “sexually fluid”. Most people who doesn’t want to label themselves as bisexual or bi curious, uses it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I’d say you were wrong

I wouldn’t do it for my own personal benefit, I’m not sexually attracted to males and I have no desire for any sexual play with them.

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By *evonNewbiesCouple
over a year ago

torquay

I'm bi curious, I can look at a lady and find her attractive and even anticipate play. Very much enjoy bi play however I have never had thoughts about a relationship with another woman. Now enjoying playing with ladies may or may not make me fully bi, but I could not do it just because hubby wanted as he would see straight through it and know I'm not enjoying it.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

In a swinging situation I'd be very unhappy if my partner felt he had to do something he was uncomfortable with just to please me. Swinging is about consent and sharing enjoyment. If your girlfriend genuinely wanted to "try it out" with another girl then she'd clearly be bicurious. If she was about to do it to "please you", I would hope you'd tell her not to. It's not fair to her nor to the girl she's made a move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a swinging situation I'd be very unhappy if my partner felt he had to do something he was uncomfortable with just to please me. Swinging is about consent and sharing enjoyment. If your girlfriend genuinely wanted to "try it out" with another girl then she'd clearly be bicurious. If she was about to do it to "please you", I would hope you'd tell her not to. It's not fair to her nor to the girl she's made a move on."

Absolutely this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course. I’d never expect her to do something just to please me if she didn’t get anything from it herself.

It just appears that she wants to try it whilst ‘in the moment’ but doesn’t want to be labelled. We’d never meet a bi fem couple with a view of girl on girl play.

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