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Safe sex on interests lists

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

Without going into the rights and wrongs of people’s preferences, can I ask you all if a person or couple doesn’t list safe sex as an interest on their profile, does it mean, or is it right to assume that they prefer condom free fun?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Never assume anything. It's always better to ask. We've met people who list safe sex as an interest but arrive without condoms and look at you all puzzled when you produce one. Turns out sade sex to them means not doing it on a cliff edge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest with you should be on the talking agenda before meeting mean the easy way is to ask or if or state you only play safe before hand

So hear is 3 examples

That all sounds good I play both safe and bare but I normally leve that up the the uther person or people to choose witch way so witch way do yous prefer to play

Or all grate just so yous two know I only ever play safe I hope that’s ok with yous

Or brilliant I only play bare if that’s a problem I understand and happy swinging if it’s not a problem would yous be interested in a nice long hot meet

Not really hard and should be sorted out in the particular before meeting

Xxx

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By *uggiedMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

If it doesnt state then i ask saves wasting both of our time

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

So I will always confirm early on in the conversation, but while I appreciate that some that have safe sex do then show an interest in bareback, I’ve found that asking someone if they play safe or bareback, and they don’t have safe sex listed, seems to offend. My experience is that those that don’t state safe, often play bare, but one or two that don’t state safe, when questioned really don’t understand why I’ve asked, so I’m curious if I’m wrong to assume, or wrong to ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I will always confirm early on in the conversation, but while I appreciate that some that have safe sex do then show an interest in bareback, I’ve found that asking someone if they play safe or bareback, and they don’t have safe sex listed, seems to offend. My experience is that those that don’t state safe, often play bare, but one or two that don’t state safe, when questioned really don’t understand why I’ve asked, so I’m curious if I’m wrong to assume, or wrong to ask?"

Ur never wrong for asking sorry but anyone who gets the hump asking about that question is not worth ur time meeting so meny red flags on geting the hump over asking if they play safe or bare if they don’t have it listed on they profiles

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

Whenever I'm corresponding with someone who has 'safe sex' listed - whether they initiated the message exchange or I did - I will mention at some stage that I've noticed they have it listed, and point out that I play bareback...

....although it's mentioned in my profile text, and is apparent from a couple of my photos, sometimes they haven't realised - but in most cases they have, and are happy to play that way themselves...

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Never assume anything like that. I don't even remember seeing that as an option. I'd have to go and look at what we put although I know what I hope to see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always tell them im a safe sex man before we meet. One lady was shocked i wouldnt bare back her and blocked me. Like i was worried

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

I never go to or agree meeting without confirming, but I don’t get the issue in asking if it isn’t stated on a profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never assume anything. It's always better to ask. We've met people who list safe sex as an interest but arrive without condoms and look at you all puzzled when you produce one. Turns out sade sex to them means not doing it on a cliff edge "

This

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

We always discuss this and always take condoms on a meet. Don't want to be caught out with them not having any x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Whenever I'm corresponding with someone who has 'safe sex' listed - whether they initiated the message exchange or I did - I will mention at some stage that I've noticed they have it listed, and point out that I play bareback...

....although it's mentioned in my profile text, and is apparent from a couple of my photos, sometimes they haven't realised - but in most cases they have, and are happy to play that way themselves..."

Our experience on fab is many men will try and put it in without a condom even if they and their profile insists they always practice safe sex. They are like naughty little boys, you need a secret torch and and taser.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Whenever I'm corresponding with someone who has 'safe sex' listed - whether they initiated the message exchange or I did - I will mention at some stage that I've noticed they have it listed, and point out that I play bareback...

....although it's mentioned in my profile text, and is apparent from a couple of my photos, sometimes they haven't realised - but in most cases they have, and are happy to play that way themselves...

Our experience on fab is many men will try and put it in without a condom even if they and their profile insists they always practice safe sex. They are like naughty little boys, you need a secret torch and and taser."

We have experienced this. It seems safe sex doesn't mean the same to everyone. We have to spell it out now.

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"Our experience on fab is many men will try and put it in without a condom even if they and their profile insists they always practice safe sex. They are like naughty little boys, you need a secret torch and and taser."

My point was that there are some couples - and single fems - who have 'safe sex' listed on their profiles, but who are actually willing (and wanting) to play bare...

....it's not just single guys who say it but don't mean it...

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By *igfun911Man
over a year ago

East Lancashire


"Without going into the rights and wrongs of people’s preferences, can I ask you all if a person or couple doesn’t list safe sex as an interest on their profile, does it mean, or is it right to assume that they prefer condom free fun?"

That would be my understanding of it, yep.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We insist on condoms if and when we meet but we don't tick Safe Sex as an interest because there is no such thing as safe sex, only Safer Sex. There are still several STI's that can be transmitted despite the use of a condom.

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

Not just me then!

Perhaps it’s a man thing!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Some of the men we've met honestly believe that married couples won't have stis therefore it'll be safe. There are also quite a few people who believe that men and women whose partners don't know they're on fab will be safe because "they wouldn't want to take anything home".

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By *amesnplanesMan
over a year ago

Banbridge

I think the selection needs to be clearer in preferances.

Perhaps it could suggest,

*Sex wearing a condom

*Sex without a condom but no ejaculation inside

*Sex without a condom with ejaculation inside the lady

Etc

More transparent and totally clear.

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

I’m certainly not going to question anyone’s rules or preferences, we all have different interests and needs, and thank god we do, life would be dull.

If a profile says safe sex, I won’t question the subject. If a profile doesn’t have safe sex as an interest, I will question. Some say that they prefer condom free, and to me, that’s why it isn’t on their list, but several are offended and rude back, when a genuine adult minded question has been asked.

Maybe an interest of bare play would be useful and clearer?

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By *um6a9fun OP   Man
over a year ago

Messy End

Couldn’t agree more!!

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By *BWarksCouple
over a year ago

warwick


"To be honest with you should be on the talking agenda before meeting mean the easy way is to ask or if or state you only play safe before hand

So hear is 3 examples

That all sounds good I play both safe and bare but I normally leve that up the the uther person or people to choose witch way so witch way do yous prefer to play

Or all grate just so yous two know I only ever play safe I hope that’s ok with yous

Or brilliant I only play bare if that’s a problem I understand and happy swinging if it’s not a problem would yous be interested in a nice long hot meet

Not really hard and should be sorted out in the particular before meeting

Xxx"

Wondered why I had difficulty understanding and needed to decipher most of that ....... you wrote it in Scottish lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always assume they play bare and that's the reason I don't have it ticked. But as others have said it is always best to ask. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have said this a few times but.....every couple / female i have met has ticked the safe sex button the profile, most even state “no bareback” in there text. However, id say 80% when ive actually met them have said “you don’t have to wear one if you don’t want”......”we / i am ok to go without if you are up to actually applying pressure to go without.

I assume everybody is playing bareback on every meet and protect myself accorindly

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By *amish SMan
over a year ago

Eastleigh

From an era when it would be the norm. Assume safe sex unless profile specifically states otherwise, would be the way I see it.

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