FabSwingers.com forum: etiquete in swing clubs v regular clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

we went to chams today in the afternoon.it was not busy at all but we were in a room,just us 2 playing.

a man who was about 5ft5 16 stone and hairy like our long lost cousins approached right up to nik.

i told him 'no pal' he did go.

made us think,even if im biased ,nik is very good looking.

in a regular club this bloke would never have tried his luck with her.

why do people think just because you are in a swingers club ,you will play with anyone?

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Forget about him babe,he was a chancer he saw a gawjus woman,what did he have to lose.

I'm glad you put him in his place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coz they have a skewed _iew of what swinging is in comparison to others. Alot of people may assume that swinging takes away the ability to choose.

Plus you never do know, the 'big neanderthal' may well have plenty of success using those tekkers in a normal club.....I've seen funnier things.

And you aren't biased, Nik is very good looking

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

he respected your wishes and left

have been in bars and clubs where some chancer, feeling brave after a few drinks has approached a couple and tried it on with the female much to the annoyance of of male partner ..... fists flew!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I would say it's an occupational hazard (so to speak), just one of those things we simply have to learn to handle.

There will always be different thoughts/opinions on how swinging and swing clubs work, opinions formed through knowledge (or lack of), formed by sex/sexuality/relationship status.

You appear to have handled it well.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Surely it worked as it should. He took a chance and asked, or he would never know.

It would be silly for him to not ask, she could have said yes!

You may well say, she would never say yes, but he is not her partner and would have no idea of her likes, dislikes etc. The only way he can find out is to ask.

You say nik is good looking, but although that may mean he thought his chances where close to zero, it still did not mean he did not have a chance.

The difference between swinging clubs and normal clubs is that in normal clubs if a couple are together, it would be highly unusual to approach that couple at all. Were as a swinging club couples are as fair game as anyone else.

As for the single ladies in nightclubs (or guys for that matter), well I'm sure plenty of women (and men) can vouch for unwanted attention from chancers in nightclubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because everyone sees people different and people may see themselves different to how you see them

Maybe he didnt see her as out of his league, even tho you did

To be honest i get what you mean, if i see a guy in a club and i feel hes to good for me i would never approach him, but lots of people dont see other people as to good for them

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

I can't see anyone being out of your league NN

You'll find lots of beautiful ppl don't get hit on,because ppl think they're out of their league

I've seen it all I used to work the doors n had a modelling school.......... I was once seeing Miss England but I used to be a good looking fit man..

Mostly it's all about looks,but manners,respect n a soh will get you places

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are in a swingers club and a single guy asks if he can join in and when you say no he goes away.

Your point is ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was wondering that too.i mean he DID ask.they usually do.xx

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

It happens all the time in swinging clubs ,even to the most ordinary of us,dont see what the problem is .....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

he accepted the 'no' and left...

was there any need to describe him the way you have..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the point they are trying to make is they felt he should have looked at her, realised she was to good for him and not asked

I dont think they have a problem with men approaching them just not ones who should realise they have no chance

As everyone said he did nolthing wrong is only clime was he was short, far and hairy and as such they probably felt he should sick to like wise women which put me out as i waxed my tash this morning

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"we went to chams today in the afternoon.it was not busy at all but we were in a room,just us 2 playing.

a man who was about 5ft5 16 stone and hairy like our long lost cousins approached right up to nik.

i told him 'no pal' he did go.

made us think,even if im biased ,nik is very good looking.

in a regular club this bloke would never have tried his luck with her.

why do people think just because you are in a swingers club ,you will play with anyone?"

Hmmm now let me think about what you are saying here.

A couple are playing in an open area of a swinging club, where anyone can approach them. A man does so but is told no and he goes away. And the issue with this is he wasn't in your perceived league and should have known better?

Yes it does make you think doesn't it

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think there is an etiquette in swingers clubs that is much more respectful than in non-swing clubs.

I have been pawed and, on one occasion a very long time ago, almost raped in an 'ordinary' club. I appreciate the fact that men will take no for an answer in a swingers club.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i was wondering that too.i mean he DID ask.they usually do.xx"

the door was shut with a towel behind it as the lock didnt work.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

A single guy entering a private room that is not locked is not right, but unfortunately is part and parcel of club life - maybe choose one of the rooms at Chams that does have a lock next time? If that was the problem though, does it matter what he looked like? Surely any guy, even the most attractive, should have been knocked back if he came into your private room.

Your original post appears to say that you were affronted by the sheer cheek of someone not worthy approaching your good looking woman rather than someone coming into a private room at all.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see... I got called "really cute" last night by a lovely lady I was chatting with..

I don't see myself as cute.... gave me a nice boost in myself...

the guy approached, asked, and was turned down... how was the guy suppose to know that you as a couple wasn't interested without asking...

my mindreading skills need to be brushed up on... darn....

do I just wear a bell around my neck and wait for people to take pity on me?...

maybe the moral of the story is more "find a room you can lock, therefore invite who you please" rather than shifting it onto a guy who I can't see did a whole lot wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

isnt everyone in a club there to hopefully play.doesnt matter their shape,size or anything else.the club i went to,the men asked before touching.if they were told no,then off they went.but they are there to have fun,and of course they will try to join in with couples.if you dont feel happy with that.there are clubs where you can have your own room and lock the door.or use the couples only areas.xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe your anger should be towards the club where the locks did not work rather than some poor inocent, polite ugly guy that didn't meet your high criteria

Not everyone is wonderfully beautiful as you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

if had not have said no he would have continued,he made no attempt to chat

earlier on we chatted to a lad in the spa,he made conversation and was very polite and asked if it was ok to get closer.

guess we met chalk and cheese of the club scene that day

i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"if had not have said no he would have continued,he made no attempt to chat

earlier on we chatted to a lad in the spa,he made conversation and was very polite and asked if it was ok to get closer.

guess we met chalk and cheese of the club scene that day

i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal."

you never said in your original post that you were in a room with the door closed. I agree it was wrong he opened it.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

" i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal."

I find it really strange you are now trying to say it was about someone opening the door and not that this ugly fat fecker wouldn't have tried his luck in a normal club.

It doesn't take many visits to chams to realise people... yes people not just single men... check to see if the doors of the playrooms have been locked, as sometimes people do leave them unlocked as they like people to come in and watch or touch or whatever.

You'll know better next time.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"we went to chams today in the afternoon.it was not busy at all but we were in a room,just us 2 playing.

a man who was about 5ft5 16 stone and hairy like our long lost cousins approached right up to nik.

i told him 'no pal' he did go.

made us think,even if im biased ,nik is very good looking.

in a regular club this bloke would never have tried his luck with her.

why do people think just because you are in a swingers club ,you will play with anyone?"

were you in a public play room??

if you want to be choosey about who touches your wife then go pick a guy or guys and go to a private room

always makes me laugh people who moan about unwanted attention in a public room!!

and t be fair to the bloke (and polite as you were not) you said no and he left, where is the problem?

maybe you should hang a sign on the door that says 'only adonis and his twin brother can touch this woman'

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"if had not have said no he would have continued,he made no attempt to chat

earlier on we chatted to a lad in the spa,he made conversation and was very polite and asked if it was ok to get closer.

guess we met chalk and cheese of the club scene that day

i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal."

but he didnt reach his goal...i'm guessing his goal was niks pussy and yu told him no

i find it really funny when people change the story of their OP half way through when they are not getting the response they want

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By *r and Mrs FlintstoneCouple
over a year ago

bridgwater

We'd have approached you

both !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if had not have said no he would have continued,he made no attempt to chat

earlier on we chatted to a lad in the spa,he made conversation and was very polite and asked if it was ok to get closer.

guess we met chalk and cheese of the club scene that day

i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal.

but he didnt reach his goal...i'm guessing his goal was niks pussy and yu told him no

i find it really funny when people change the story of their OP half way through when they are not getting the response they want

So you were in a swingers club, unaware that you may get approached on a sexual nature ???

You refused and the guy took your first refusal, so what's the problem ?

You were in a pvt room with what sounds like, the door unlocked, and he opened it and approached you both ? Why didn't you say no as they door opened ? Why wasn't the door locked ?

If you were in the fire exit room (no lock on door) then why were you in there ? During the day, the lockable pvt rooms are almost always free ?

Another yawn, yawn look at our profile thread with all the single men jumping ay your defence in hope of meeting you lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal."

i wasnt defending a guy for opening a door and going in i was defending him because in your opening post you seemed more bothered about the fact he was fat and hairy than the fact he opened the door

had he been a 25 year old gym fit good looking lad who opened the door and came in would you still have posted this thread? you just seem to be moving your focus of topic now because people wasnt horrifed with you that a fat guy dared to approach your mrs, it almost reads like your thinking...oh well that didnt bother then i know we'll now add he barged into a closed room see what reaction that gets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" i really find strange how people defend a man who opened a closed door and approached with what seemed to me no intention of stopping till he reached his goal.

i wasnt defending a guy for opening a door and going in i was defending him because in your opening post you seemed more bothered about the fact he was fat and hairy than the fact he opened the door

Exactly my thoughts too.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

[Removed by poster at 17/06/12 19:48:54]

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"we went to chams today in the afternoon.it was not busy at all but we were in a room,just us 2 playing.

a man who was about 5ft5 16 stone and hairy like our long lost cousins approached right up to nik.

i told him 'no pal' he did go.

made us think,even if im biased ,nik is very good looking.

in a regular club this bloke would never have tried his luck with her.

why do people think just because you are in a swingers club ,you will play with anyone?"

Which room and why didn't you lock? That's what they're there for. If it didn't work let the management know.

Locked door means do not enter! Simples!

Sounds like if he'd been in your eyes fit you wouldn't of rejected him!

Also you say that he didnt touch just approached and when you said no he respected you.

Sounds to me like you need to get over yourself and remember when you want privacy use a room with a lock...

Or put a note on the door no peeps 5'6" with large hairy builds!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i must admit im wonder why if the club was very quiet as they said in the first post they didnt just get a room with a lock if they didnt want anyone coming in

Why use a room and put a towel over the door when there are rooms with locks on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are in a club and only want the attention of people to your exacting standards you should seek them out then go find a private room where the locks work.

I feel sorry for this guy that who's only crime is that he didn't come up to the standards that you were willing to accept.He was decent, polite and left when you said no but he was hairy , fat and ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So.... if we were to say.... "We were in a public room at ********* the other day and this young (under 40), inexperienced, and skinny couple came up and wanted to join in with us - we told them no and they left' how would that make US look to others?

As other posters have said, your OP made clear the reason for refusal was that the guy resembled your long-lost cousins???? And then the story changed?

Or what you are saying is that an unlocked door in an adult club opened, a guy came in and you allowed him to get close enough to your lady for him to try it on BEFORE you said 'No'?????? Were you right up against the door? There must have been a short time taken for him to get from the door to you in which you could have said 'No' surely?

Confused of Kent....?????

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