FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Interesting and unusual updates

Jump to newest
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I have just read this status update: "Some days I like to go into Tescos pick an old male cashier and buy just a cucumber, jar of vasoline and a bottle of gin and wink as I pay"

Has anyone else got any that they would like to add?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

How many people does it take to change a light bulb, is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was 16 I worked in the local coop on the fresh fruit and veg.

That was a time when customers brought there selected veg to me to weigh them, bag them and label them up.

A couple came in one day and spent about 5 minutes going through all the bananas, I could hear her giggling. Then they brought one single large, thick banana to me to be weighed.

It was pretty obvious what they were buying it for.

I couldn't help myself and said 'you've found the perfect size then? ' they both laughed and she said 'hope so'. I was hoping they might ask me to join them but they didn't and I didn't have the courage to suggest anything. Had me hard though at work thinking about them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"Nothing emabarrases a phsychic more than throwing them a surprise party."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

If you're going make everyone stop at the zebra crossing while you walk over the road, at least do some cartwheels, finger pistols, twerk, SOMETHING!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

When it comes to doggy style I hope you're 100% behind me x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I entered a wanking contest with some of the other lady bus drivers at work today. Nothing happened for about 15 minutes, then 3 of us came together

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Hammock sex for the true swingers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fucked my mums sister last nite

A true auntie climax!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umblebiMan
over a year ago

ayles

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asey666Man
over a year ago

Dublin 13

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Due to all that's happened so far this year, I have no choice but to deduct 2 stars from my original TripAdvisor review of Earth

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Mmm should I wear knickers for Sunday lunch with the in-laws? C'mon guys, when have you ever seen me in knickers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Is "buttcheeks" one word or should I spread them apart?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Just a tip boys. I'd rather receive your unsolicited dog pics x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Our sexual preference is yes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"Boys... your emotional support kitten is under my skirt "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Hi there Friday. You handsomishdevil I've been looking for you since Monday

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham


"How many people does it take to change a light bulb, is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse."

"

I trust you've never taken anyone home and she jumped in your arms and said carry me up stairs to your bedroom....!

If you refused was your relationship then on the rocks...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"Leading with "I love older women" isn't the compliment you think it is ... Just sayin' x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

He said he was an ass man so I sent him a picture of my ex. Morning all x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

... "I coughed on the bus today, four people turned around. I felt like I was on The Voice.".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

... "I have a cute asshole!!! Didn’t know so many of you have met ex hubby"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"I asked the waitress if I could ask her a question about the menu, please. She said the men I please is none of your business."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of me to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it also cost a fortune in stamps".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I decided to expose myself to some culture today. The Tesco manager promptly told me to button up my coat and leave the yogurt aisle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEasy2016Man
over a year ago

Middle of Nowhereish

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres so many i forget them.

Strange one just now. “Anyone selling a dog?”

Errrm this is a swingers site, and what just any random dog??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Save me from drowning in the sea, beat me up on the beach.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My pet rabbit doesn't know his right foot from his left, I think he's got mixermetoeses

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

.. Decorating the bathroom!! Need to be kept busy or I'll end up eating the contents of the kitchen hahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Here's a question for all the mindreaders out there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

It turned out the explosion at the prosthetic limb factory wasn't nearly as bad as it looked.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Stay safe, wash your hands after every wank

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I drank some paint by accident. On the plus side I've added 'Interior Decorator' to my CV.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I saw a microbiologist today, he was much bigger than I expected.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"I asked in the bookshop if they had anything on turtles. The assistant asked "hardback"? I said "yes, with little flippers"."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I once went in Sainsburys saw they sold vibrators so bought one, some lube and whipped cream then went through one of the younger male's checkout he went bright red and stuttered lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I know this might make me sound big headed, I can't get my jumper off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I have a pet newt. I call him Tiny. I call him Tiny because he's minute.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a pet newt. I call him Tiny. I call him Tiny because he's minute."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

The Chip shop I go to still wrap up meals in newspaper. Yesterday I got a Plaice in The Sun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"Can everyone here getting yodelling lessons... please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly que".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle.ManMan
over a year ago

Slough

Charlotte, you had me laughing out loud several times.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *argaret James200TV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

I saw a fly swallow a horse and cart yesterday. Sorry forgot these,,,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town


"

Charlotte, you had me laughing out loud several times."

They have all been posted by others. All I have done is copy and paste.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Did you know, if you change just 4 of the letters in the word 'Milk' you get 'Beer'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtymale1Man
over a year ago

Sandbach

Thanks, am laughing at these. Good to be smiling on a Monday.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tim Vine, move over lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just bench pressed 600lbs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had my second vaccine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I went bobsleighing the weekend and killed 25 Bobs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to my local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Thanks to autocorrect I seem to be having some kind of midlife crisps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Sad news; My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books. He's only got his shelf to blame.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

In Jamaica a pie is £4, in Barbados a pie is £8, in at Lucia a pie is £7, and in Bahamas a pie is £9, and these are the pie-rates of the Caribbean

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I've seen them hop but how does a frog march?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighly ProfessionalMan
over a year ago

peterborough

I knew a nurse once who had a lady in A&E with a banana stuck inside her, said the fruit bowl was at the bottom of the stairs and she fell down the Stairs.... REALLY AH

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

It’s so annoying when people try to act all intelligent when they say they love Mozart especially when they’ve not even seen one of his paintings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I recently took a pole, and found out that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Woman goes to the doctor with a bit of lettuce sticking out her pussy Doctor: that looks nasty Woman: nasty……that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork, I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Spotted an albino dalmatian the other day, well, it was the least I could do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I find learning to count in Roman Numerals difficult.. until I get to 159.. Then it just CLIX

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pacecoastersCouple
over a year ago

Cocoa Beach

I recently installed a sky light in my condo. My upstairs neighbors are furious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group. I see a lot of new faces around.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

What do you call a Magician who lost his magic? Ian.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iny123Man
over a year ago

Lincoln


"What do you call a Magician who lost his magic? Ian."

My name is Ian I hope I haven't lost my magic touch!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I met a d*unk ventriloquist who said she found me very attractive. I didn't know if it was her or the beer talking.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I used to be a fortune teller but I could only predict cold winters…. Turned out the gift shop sold me a snow globe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *SAwanted321Man
over a year ago

haywards heath


"I just bench pressed 600lbs "

Same here, I did a push-up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town


"Brilliant thread"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat?" Apparently "no it's just you" wasn't the right answer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Saw a baguette at the zoo. It was bread in captivity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I had to fire my fruit delivery driver today. I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a Def Leppard.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

The patron saint of nudists is St Arkers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Its a shame nothing is British made anymore, I just bought a TV that said "Built in Antenna". I don't even know where that is.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ack again100Man
over a year ago

Tamworth

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I've just eaten a Yorkie. Now they've told me I can't go to Crufts again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

brilliant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Beautiful crisp sunny but cold morning for taking the dog for a walk. Fortunately I have a cat so I'm having a lie in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickerladMan
over a year ago

wem

What a very good thread - I’m sew amused

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Apparently the billionaire boss of Amazon has left his wife. Presumably with a neighbour....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Charlottes Church, are you sure you are not Milton Jones in disguise?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Do not touch must be the scariest thing to read in Braille.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I put my phone under my pillow last night. When I woke up it was gone and there was a pound coin in it's place. Bloody Bluetooth fairy!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

.. "Why do men hold up random items to show how big their cock is ? Just seen a pic of a guy holding magnum next to his dick. Lollllllllll".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone. it's Hans free now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley


" In Jamaica a pie is £4, in Barbados a pie is £8, in at Lucia a pie is £7, and in Bahamas a pie is £9, and these are the pie-rates of the Caribbean"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Genie: I grant you 3 wishes. Me: I wish for a world without lawyers. Genie: Done, you have no more wishes. Me: But you said 3. Genie: Sue me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luttyritaCDTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Great thread!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

People said l'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My friend threw me a surprise bukkake party,…. So many people came.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *idKnightMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"My friend threw me a surprise bukkake party,…. So many people came."

And you should have seen my face!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

"My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I've lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

accidentally gave my friend a glue stick instead of her lipstick She still isn't talking to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I saw a microbiologist today. He was much bigger than I expected.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

The other day I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It’s the least I could do for him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Fun fact: before the crowbar was invented, crows drank at home.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley


"I have just read this status update: "Some days I like to go into Tescos pick an old male cashier and buy just a cucumber, jar of vasoline and a bottle of gin and wink as I pay"

Has anyone else got any that they would like to add? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Why do ducks have tail feathers...... To cover their bum quack

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

just found an origami porn channel It was paper view only.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *j and c 2Couple
over a year ago

mullingar

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Happy BoNk holiday!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My daughter just asked me "mum what's an acorn?" I said "Well in a nut shell, It's an oak tree."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Just come back from a staff training course, but mine failed. So it’s still just a stick.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *laric-DomMan
over a year ago

Chapelhall

So funny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Looking at a new car yesterday I was looking in the boot. "Cargo space?" I asked the salesman. "No, car go road." He replied.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Batman buys Catwoman a drink Catwoman slowly pushes it off the edge of the table

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

There are no more horse-drawn carriages in England because horses are terrible artists.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I caught my step-mum putting a carrot in her vag' I said Ewwee I was gonna eat that. Now it's gonna taste of carrot...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I've just bought a Head Torch. I'm putting it in charge of all my other torches!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices. He told me that I do not have a psychiatrist.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I distrust camels. And anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

I was in an expensive perfume shop earlier. They had a couple of security guards by the Dior..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

It is International Beaver Day today. When I saw this, my first thought was...'nice beaver!' That gives an idea as to my intellectual level.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene. It's that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wice pleaseMan
over a year ago

near Darlington

I did the same some years back in ALDI quite innocently randomly bought an axe a roll of duct tape and a bottle of vodka. Only when the cashier said is that all and gave a strange look did I spontaneously look her in the eye shake me head and say you don’t want to know. I thought it was pretty funny.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEasy2016Man
over a year ago

Middle of Nowhereish

8 hours ago... Any pervs around x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

If anybody wants to sponsor me, I'm doing a 0.002km run to raise awareness for laziness.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bonus points for sticking with this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eatherandstrapCouple
over a year ago

Near Keswick

Absolutely superb

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

My doctor asked if I smoked or drank coffee. I told him I drank it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *portbilly1976Man
over a year ago

manchester


"I caught my step-mum putting a carrot in her vag' I said Ewwee I was gonna eat that. Now it's gonna taste of carrot... "

Actually this one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEasy2016Man
over a year ago

Middle of Nowhereish

Currently having my pushy licked x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

Why do witches wear no undies...? For better grip on the broom

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

keep them coming

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Toy me town

For Halloween, I'm opening a Dracula costume shop. 'Vamp Hire'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyinred696969Couple
over a year ago

Brecon

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *raceyCouple
over a year ago

UK

Brilliant, made my day. Keep them coming..

One for you. If smoking is so bad for, how comes it cures kippers....lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cEasy2016Man
46 weeks ago

Middle of Nowhereish

If you’ve had a wank over me…then you definitely owe me a Christmas present!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
43 weeks ago

Toy me town

My pussy is not for rent/sale and is not a charity collection box, thank you and goodnight.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Toy me town

I have a friend who's really good at dating women. He's an archaeologist.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
41 weeks ago

Toy me town

If we wanted to be surrounded by player's, we would have gone to a casino.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
39 weeks ago

Toy me town

I locked a coat hanger in my car yesterday. Luckily I had my keys on me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
35 weeks ago

Toy me town

I saw my first ballet recently, all the girls were dancing around on tiptoes, I cant understand why they just dont employ taller girls.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Toy me town

During a police interview I answered every question by saying "No comment." No wonder I never got the job.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
30 weeks ago

Toy me town

Don't forget.... later tonight the moon will be visible from the earth. The last time this happened was last night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
29 weeks ago

Toy me town

There was a time.... a new hip joint, meant someplace I would go to on weekends.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

Toy me town

'With all due respect' Is my favourite saying because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. It could be none

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
10 weeks ago

Toy me town

Ban free shredded cheese, make Britain grate again!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Toy me town

"If there's one place I can't stand, it's an ice rink."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arewithmeMan
6 weeks ago

Craven Arms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Toy me town

It really annoys me when you go to someone's house and they make you take your shoes off at the front door & they don't even have a bouncy castle....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *harlottes Church OP   TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Toy me town

"Tuesdays, never could get the hang of Tuesdays....".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top