FabSwingers.com forum: Couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wanted the views and experiences of the male half of some couples on this as its something that really winds me up.

Here's the scenario...

We get contacted by someone (of any gender) and start chatting. Not necessarily arranging anything, just a casual chat. Said person asks if i am the m or f, or assumes it is Lady replying when infact it is me (Tramp). So I either tell them (if they've asked), or slip it in casually (if they assumed wrongly). At which point they just stop replying.

This annoys me for 3 reasons.

1. I am always honest if it's just me on, and if we're not together its likely to be me and not her. It even says in our profile I'll be the one arranging stuff.

2. our conversation wasn't even a sexual one so why does it matter.

3. how would these people behave towards lady if it was her they were talking to. It seems a bit underhand like they are trying to get something out of lady behind my back.

And interestly this is happening more and more with the male half of some couples doing it, who I'd have thought if they are genuine would know what it's like to be always spoken to as a single female. After all how would they like it if I did it to them.

One example. I was talking to the male from one couple about beaches and holiday destinations. I didn't know he was the male until he mentioned his wife. As soon as I said 'she' referring to Lady, he stopped replying and all messages were deleted.

Your thoughts would be welcome. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well am afraid u have to remember, itss about meeting for sex, if its normally two straight guys talking...there wont be much flirting.I'd introduce myself quick chat, realise the target isnt there and say bye for now.Two straight males can only go so far in an initial chat, we know who we'd rather be flirting ourselves to ,dont we?

I'd really suggest having ur partner around at times for the needd contact, and likewise to the other couple...at least then all four can flirt and have a laugh before seeing whats on the menu next

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I see what your saying. But I wasn't talking about times when I'm arranging something for lady. In those cases I'm happy to exchange emails and go.

What gets me though is when it's a chat about anything other than arranging something. The conversation would be exactly the same if it was me, lady or both.

I don't really know that there is an equivalent example I can give you that would relate to a single guys perspective I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see what your saying. But I wasn't talking about times when I'm arranging something for lady. In those cases I'm happy to exchange emails and go.

What gets me though is when it's a chat about anything other than arranging something. The conversation would be exactly the same if it was me, lady or both.

I don't really know that there is an equivalent example I can give you that would relate to a single guys perspective I'm afraid."

MrCouple lol...please. I've been in a few relationships myself.from fab lol...my perspective is no more different rom urs.

now thats out the way with, carry on with a perspective please lol

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Happens to me all the time aswell. Mrs P is a techno phobe so its pretty much me that runs this account.

However she will get involved to prove we are genuine, checkout interesting profiles, often sits with me and we compose msg replys together or sit in chat together and she is just as keen as me. She just hates computers! Lol

If someone stops replying as soon as they find out it is the male half of the couple then as far as I am concerned we wouldn't want to play with them anyway.

They obviously don't understand what swinging is actually all about.

Or it is a single guy on a couples profile. Or assuming he treats others as he would want to be treated himself then he obviously has no respect or not enough respect for his Mrs.

Or it is the female half of a couple assuming that our account is obviously fake and there is no Mrs P!

Eitherway we play together as a couple so if people are interested then they need to address both of us as a couple because if we both don't get on with you then we don't play simple.

It used to irritate me as it has done you, now we take the whole Internet approach with a pinch of salt.

Meeting face to face cuts out all the bullshit

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Happens to me all the time aswell. Mrs P is a techno phobe so its pretty much me that runs this account.

If someone stops replying as soon as they find out it is the male half of the couple then as far as I am concerned we wouldn't want to play with them anyway.

They obviously don't understand what swinging is actually all about.

Or it is a single guy on a couples profile. Or assuming he treats others as he would want to be treated himself then he obviously has no respect or not enough respect for his Mrs.

Or it is the female half of a couple assuming that our account is obviously fake and there is no Mrs P!

Eitherway we play together as a couple so if people are interested then they need to address both of us as a couple because if we both don't get on with you then we don't play simple.

It used to irritate me as it has done you, now we take the whole Internet approach with a pinch of salt.

Meeting face to face cuts out all the bullshit

Before I get jumped on I'll add to that, that we're not looking for single men and state that clearly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happens to me all the time aswell. Mrs P is a techno phobe so its pretty much me that runs this account.

If someone stops replying as soon as they find out it is the male half of the couple then as far as I am concerned we wouldn't want to play with them anyway.

They obviously don't understand what swinging is actually all about.

Or it is a single guy on a couples profile. Or assuming he treats others as he would want to be treated himself then he obviously has no respect or not enough respect for his Mrs.

Or it is the female half of a couple assuming that our account is obviously fake and there is no Mrs P!

Eitherway we play together as a couple so if people are interested then they need to address both of us as a couple because if we both don't get on with you then we don't play simple.

It used to irritate me as it has done you, now we take the whole Internet approach with a pinch of salt.

Meeting face to face cuts out all the bullshit

Before I get jumped on I'll add to that, that we're not looking for single men and state that clearly."

ochhhhhhhhhh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In a way thats a relief. It does put prople in the instant no pile.

Your situation sounds familiar. Tho lady isn't a technophobe, just wants me to do the hard work.

I like your philosophy. One good thing is it really makes how's who's genuine, and pretty quick.

The way I see it, I'm like lady's minder, I need to make sure anyone she talks to us worthy of it. So they need to prove it to me not her. From our perspective anything that happens is for our joint enjoyment so we both need to be involved. I don't want my gf to be some guys cheap thrill. If he gets one then great, but to me she's the priority.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

In fairness, everyday there's a thread up about timewasting single men on couples profiles.

It could be some single men/couples have decided to stop contact when it's only the male half responding as they assume it's a fake profile.

We all have our own individual ways of sifting the wheat from the chaff.

If my ex-husband was on here he'd have "cannot accommodate" on his profile. He's 100% single but has just moved in with his 86 year old mum to be her carer. Doesn't stop me refusing to talk to a single man who can't accommodate as that's one of my sifts for married men and those that want to keep their homes sacrosanct whilst wanting to treat my home as a knocking shop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well am afraid u have to remember, itss about meeting for sex, if its normally two straight guys talking...there wont be much flirting.I'd introduce myself quick chat, realise the target isnt there and say bye for now.Two straight males can only go so far in an initial chat, we know who we'd rather be flirting ourselves to ,dont we?

I'd really suggest having ur partner around at times for the needd contact, and likewise to the other couple...at least then all four can flirt and have a laugh before seeing whats on the menu next"

Yet more good advice from you!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

get it all the time.

as has been said, female half is happy to meet and do the phone call verification thing, but wants me to do the hard work.

as soon as i say its ade talking the conversation tails off.

i can only think that if i were to say its Em (maybe i should try it sometime) the conversation would get somewhat more bawdy and possibly even suggest a meet without the 'oh' there (yes, Em had that when we first started, hence why i do all the hard work now).

so yeah, tend to use it as a filtering system now also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't like messages which exclude the male, ie, 'do you meet alone' and when my OH identifies himself as male we don't hear again. My OH likes to wind these type of guys up saying yes he will meet without the OH's knowledge, and they at first are delighted and give tel no's out until he informs them he is male. It is naughty but they shouldn't contact us knowing we are a couple.

But as for men not chatting to a male, I can also see that there's only so far you can go. Males do enjoy the initial flirt with the lady and men are visual. If the avatar is a pair of tits, its difficult to get your head around actually talking to someone with a cock and balls instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I do think is that if you've lured guys to your profile with a sexy pic of the female, then its understandable they want to talk and flirt to that sexy female and get a mental picture of her, not have that illusion shattered by it being a gruff masculine block.

I do understand the point on exclusion and being rude, that's not on, but otherwise I don't mind. The single guys we talk to do acknowledge Chris and will chat, but if they want to talk to me they will often be pleasant and fun about it such as 'where is your lovely lady, I was hoping to use my charm skills on her', that kind of thing, so it doesn't make Chris feel bypassed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not suprised couples have this problem - don't forget there's now four of you in the equation - all of whom could be sending or recieving messages whilst alone without their partner. It may be the case that one or other has initialised contact only to later find that their OH is less interested in a particular couple than they are - particularly if like a lot of couples profiles the pics are centered around the female!

As a single guy who primarily meets couples i'd be concerned if I didn't get to message/chat to both parties - as i'd expect both to be interested in me and my interests/personality.

I've had similar situations where i've been chatting to the female in a couple (and yes I know it was the femaleas she was either on the phone or on cam) only to find a few days later that her OH has become aware of my interest and decided for whatever reason to cut contact - and also the reverse - where the guy is keen but his OH isn't.

I don't take it personally and adopt the same policy either way - don't dwell and move on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life in FAB is not as we know it" to pinch a line from "scotty" - but the truth is poeple can just pick and chose whoever they want to play with or dare i say it mess with; because i symapthise with you about being messed about - it happens to us all no matter what our sexual likes are etc

Keep at it though it will/does come right sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having had an a couples account that was something that got my nerves too especially from other couples. Either the account was fake or the guy did the hard work had been busy fending off single guys from his missus and thought ah it'll be alright they meet single guys as well.

TBH you are far better getting involved in the social side of things by going to meets, parties or clubs. There are 2 types of people on here the chancers who don't fully understand what swinging is really about and then the swingers....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My pet hate at the moment is the messages from new people that say "hi babe" or something similar.. I tend to reply with "Is that to Master or Cali" Sometimes they realise their mistake, sometimes they dont.

To be honest though we dont find if Master replies that the conversation ends.. although we do get a lot that then start to ask can they abuse his slave.. which means we end the conversation. Or Master tells them that cali will answer later lol

I do think that people need to really remember that couples profiles are not just about chatting to the lady... However in saying that, I know that Master will only chat so far with someone before saying that he will get me to look and see what I think.

Oh and yes most annoying is the... Would you meet behind Masters back... I am not allowed to put what gets replied to that

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd really suggest having ur partner around at times for the needd contact, and likewise to the other couple...at least then all four can flirt and have a laugh before seeing whats on the menu next

Yet more good advice from you!

why thanks...wasnt too sure If I had any actual relevancy to post on the OP's question lol...my skewed single male perspective doesnt cut it sometimes lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd really suggest having ur partner around at times for the needd contact, and likewise to the other couple...at least then all four can flirt and have a laugh before seeing whats on the menu next

Yet more good advice from you!

why thanks...wasnt too sure If I had any actual relevancy to post on the OP's question lol...my skewed single male perspective doesnt cut it sometimes lolol"

if that was the I'm females smiley, thanks with kisses xxxxx if it was Mr typing well.....er....nice wife u have there mate

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

We usually sign our messages, even if it just my initial. I think hubby got fed up with replying to 'Hi Sexy'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We usually sign our messages, even if it just my initial. I think hubby got fed up with replying to 'Hi Sexy'.

I'd say "Hi big tits!", hopefully I would have the right half of ya's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We usually sign our messages, even if it just my initial. I think hubby got fed up with replying to 'Hi Sexy'.

So are you saying he isn't?? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If we get messages starting with 'hi sexy' I just carry on as normal. After all, I am... Aren't I??!

Sorry keenfuckrographer if you were put out/offended by my response to your initial post. It was late and may have come out wrong, it wasn't intended as it seems to have come across.

Is like the reiterate that the to es I am talking about are non sexual, non flirty conversations that are going strong, between me and the male half of another couple. After all I didn't vanish when he announced it was him and not his other half there....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On this profile (single female) I've chatted to couples and the guy has mostly replied. It put me off as it felt like it was all him being interested and she wasn't so much. I don't want to get into anything where one half of the couple isn't as keen.

On our couple profile, I tend to let people know it's me replying. It says on our profile that it's mostly me that will reply. It can get confusing as people don't know who they are talking to.

So I think it's best to sign the mail so they know who is replying. If they take offence then sod them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We usually sign our messages, even if it just my initial. I think hubby got fed up with replying to 'Hi Sexy'.

I'd say "Hi big tits!", hopefully I would have the right half of ya's"

Well if the husbands a big bloke then that endearment could be relevant for both

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