FabSwingers.com forum: When does 'Soft' swing turn into 'Full' swap?

By *eedsPeople OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Hi,

we used to attend various clubs a few years ago before we had children and always had a rule that we would only do soft swing. Whilst we loved the times we had doing everything except for penetrative sex with others, we always felt that it would be a step too far to actually have sex with someone else.

Now the kids are older we have decided to join this site and pick up where we left off. This Saturday will be the first time we have been to a club for several years in fact.

We were wondering if any other couples had the same rule but now do 'full' swap.. and if so what was the thing that changed your minds? Was it spur of the moment or did you discuss it beforehand?

Many thanks in anticipation...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i suppose when people feel comfortable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I'd say it's something to discuss before you get into a situation where one may want to go full swap and the other person isn't sure - def need to know before - but you can always stop if you're not comfortable with it too. Z

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I'd say it's something to discuss before you get into a situation where one may want to go full swap and the other person isn't sure - def need to know before - but you can always stop if you're not comfortable with it too. Z"

what they said.

always talk about things.

nothing worse than 1 wanting to do more than the other, and the other not knowing until you have your cock rammed up there, and she looks over (or vice versa) lol.

but doesnt mean to say there has to be progression. can stay soft for as long as you wanna.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to set your own rules and make sure everyone sticks to them. That's the best ways not to cross any lines.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

as just said on the kissing thread we started as a soft swing no kissing couple with a list of don't as long as your arm. Our way of dealing with it was one step at a time and discussing things with eachother as we went along, the thing we said was once you have done/seen something you can't undo it so not to many steps at a time. Now we do almost anything as long as we are both happy (very important) and it's safe sex.

Our advice? discuss everything between you and be as frank and honest with eachother as you possibly can.

Oh btw we do still have one very important rule (to us) if ever one of us wants to stop swinging we both will - no question

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ong vaseMan
over a year ago

barnsley

soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping"

with the greatest of respect, you are talking out of your rectum.

soft swing describes such a large range of actions, to some (including us) it only rules out having full sex with anyone else.

how is that looking but not touching?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping"

Your message doesn't quite make sense but I think I got the gist of things!!!

Who are you to say soft swing is wasting everyone's time?! There are plenty of couples on here who soft swing and more than happy with doing just that!

You can go to a club and just talk to people which is fully acceptable, so if you get yourself someone who wants to soft swap and you don't, then a simple no not what I'm looking for. No harm done at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping"

we often wonder what a 'single' guy has to swop

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping"

Funny how only 2 of the long list of interests that people can put on their profiles involve penetration....

Are they all just a waste of time?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

In response to the OP, I'd agree with other comments that there isn't a right or wrong time to move from soft to full swap, the time may never come for you and thats fine, on the other hand you may already both want to and by chatting about it beforehand, you'll already know the time is right.

A young couple were at a club I was at on Saturday night, and their rule was simple and effective, anything goes so long as they check with their partner first so on this night, the lady took part in a 3 way lesbian show and gave BJ's to several guys, and the guy joined in with another couple and several other guys after checking his lady was comfortable with that.

On the subject of soft swap vs full swap, as a single guy I don't take anything to swap when i go to a club, however for those ladies and couples whom like the attention of single guys then I and other singles bring what they desire to the party. Funny thing is, I hadn't really thought about it before but i often indulge in "soft" swinging especially in a club scenario, whether that be touching, oral or simply watching and tbh I enjoy that a lot. Ofcourse full sex is fun too, just I hadn't realised just how much soft swinging I particiapte in!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day, it's down to what you are comfortable with as a COUPLE. There are two of you in it, and what goes for one must go for both in our humble op. We have always been full swap from the word go. That's what swinging is all about to us, but each to their own. You have to really ask yourselves why you have never done full swap before:- is it that either one of you is unsure of suggesting you make the step to the other? Is it that one or both of you don't feel confident making the move? There can be a whole range of reasons and as a previous poster has rightly said - the important thing is that you TALK about it BEFORE you set foot in that club. You've obviously soft-swung with other couples before - have you though about asking them if they would full-swap with you before taking it to the club? Then you can find out what it is about it that you are unsure of before you feel you are out of your depth.

Good luck, and hope you choose the right path for both of you xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We started off soft-swinging in clubs, I was ready for full swapping right from the start but Rose didn't feel happy going all the way for several months.

One night we were soft-swinging enthusiastically with a lovely couple in the large playroom at Chams when Rose suddenly knelt up, rolled a condom onto the man she was with and got on all fours for him. I had no idea she was ready for that, and she said afterwards he'd said he really wanted her and she felt the same about him. If she was going to do that so was I, and we had a wonderful first full swap 4some. Once Rose had taken that final step her inhibitions seemed to go, and we had another full swap with another pair before we went home.

Something that held Rose back was worrying about what I would think watching her with another man, and what her reaction would be watching me fuck another woman. We both agreed it looked amazing - no jealousy at all. Watching your other half having sex is one of the great things about swinging.

Just take it easy and don't try to force things, the time will come when the moment is right. We have some friends who only soft-swing and we respect that choice when we play - you can still have LOTS of fun soft-swinging!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping

with the greatest of respect, you are talking out of your rectum.

soft swing describes such a large range of actions, to some (including us) it only rules out having full sex with anyone else.

how is that looking but not touching?"

I know this thread was aimed at couples - so apologies for butting in - but have to agree with the above!

As a single guy - even for me there are times when i'm really in the mood for just foreplay fun - no penetration - and have had great times just doing this with both couples and singles alike.

It's all down to personal choice, comfort, situation and company. And to suggest that it's 'wasting everyone's time' show a total lack of understanding about swinging in general - and massive dis-respect to those that know their own personal desires/limits and comfort levels!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping

with the greatest of respect, you are talking out of your rectum.

soft swing describes such a large range of actions, to some (including us) it only rules out having full sex with anyone else.

how is that looking but not touching?

I know this thread was aimed at couples - so apologies for butting in - but have to agree with the above!

As a single guy - even for me there are times when i'm really in the mood for just foreplay fun - no penetration - and have had great times just doing this with both couples and singles alike.

I would also like to add that for some it also includes kissing.

some are happy to have penetration but no kissing.

some don't want penetration but are happy with kissing.

So its down to what everyone is comfortable with and as to what is full swap.

I too am happy with no penetration and find that oral stimulation and lots of touching can be fab!

I do find it becomes a little clinical when theres no kissing but respect those who don't and I said as much to a couple who contacted me recently and yes we didn't meet.

its their choice and I respect it. its about how you stimulate the mind..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"soft swing is wasting everyones time. swinging is just that.soft swing is no les than savage amusement...looking but not touching. swing clubs should be just that.swapping..not half swapping"

you obv dont get swinging at all lol!

some people just gotta do and start with what they feel comfortable with,

some struggle at first with jealousy etc to watch the partner with someone else where the other gets off on it, so soft swing can be a compromise or a way to test the waters

some people move onto full swing, others find its enough for them,

i doubt you would be saying it was wasting your time if a couple invited you over for the mrs to suck you off while she blows her hubby as well!

in fact i bet you would be replying to a message like that straight away trying to get it sorted

nothings a waste of time if its all mutural and everyone is enjoying it, thats what swingings about, everyone has different boundaries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said before agree your boundaries with each other before you go to make sure you're both ok. We were always going to do full swap though though seperate rooms as she didn't want to watch me but that went out of the window at the weekend seeing we were playing in the open area. Be prepared to for events to take over a little but always stay in control and you'll be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on a "soft swing" once - it broke cuz was only made of sponge n stuff ......

ops - thats not same is it lol

My ex and I used to swing and had gone to clubs; and understand the meaning of "soft swing" - its sometimes good t go look and see and then make your mind later- lets be honest here you would not just shag anyone would you; so why should the fact your at a club make any difference

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Watching your other half having sex is one of the great things about swinging its so erotic , have had a few FB on here and the sex afterwards together is real turn on

two of the ladies would only soft swing till asked could she have a mm threesome

and loved it take your time there is never any rush at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as just said on the kissing thread we started as a soft swing no kissing couple with a list of don't as long as your arm. Our way of dealing with it was one step at a time and discussing things with eachother as we went along, the thing we said was once you have done/seen something you can't undo it so not to many steps at a time. Now we do almost anything as long as we are both happy (very important) and it's safe sex.

Our advice? discuss everything between you and be as frank and honest with eachother as you possibly can.

Oh btw we do still have one very important rule (to us) if ever one of us wants to stop swinging we both will - no question"

me and Jen have the same rule. All our boundaries were well discussed before we played

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we started soft, feeling penetration woild be step too far. We agreed ground rules etc before each visit and found that each experience was so exciting it led to a mutual desire to do more. We agreed to go for penetration after a couple of years, agreed visual sgns to check each ok etc and when sally got penetrated at abfab, it was the most exciting thing ever. Good communication and honesty are the key to ensure no issues or jealousy etc. We still have no kissing rule as that feels too personal. Seeng sally gettng fucked is still the most exciting thing ever x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am thinking we are in the minority here, we discussed swinging at length, which was fun! and went into it both feet first doing full swap straight away, it was great, but one night we were chatting and thought we love swinging but penetrative sex was not the holy grail and now prefer soft swing generally.

Still lots of fun to be had and its generally very erotic because you have more chnace of watching your partner enjoying themselves rather than humping away with someone else next to each other?

Humping is notthe right word but you know what I mean!

Viv X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I am thinking we are in the minority here, we discussed swinging at length, which was fun! and went into it both feet first doing full swap straight away, it was great, but one night we were chatting and thought we love swinging but penetrative sex was not the holy grail and now prefer soft swing generally.

Still lots of fun to be had and its generally very erotic because you have more chnace of watching your partner enjoying themselves rather than humping away with someone else next to each other?

Humping is notthe right word but you know what I mean!

Viv X"

thats actually how we see it, although it has to be said, neither of us have ever expressed a desire to have full sex with anyone we have met.

anyone can get a dick out and hammer away for a while, shoot a load and walk away, it takes someone special to stimulate mind and body without relying on the aul fella to do the work for you.

and the comment made above about it being a waste of time, thankfully, said poster will NEVER get the chance with us.

wouldnt want to waste his time with what is the best BJ i have EVER been given.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread