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"When you joined here did you think you would be knee deep in offers ? Ladies falling over themselves to be with you? It is what it is and you have to make the best of it , lots of straight men struggle for messages replied never mind meets " I think the OP would be grateful to be knuckle deep..... let alone up to his knees | |||
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"I would normally send something like this: I just wanted to say hello and that I love your profile and I would love to know more about yourself, unless I'm being rude otherwise x" Hi OP. I don't send many messages. But those I do are often about something I've seen the person say in the forums ... it's often a joke or serious point. It's better than just responding to a profile as you're interacting on a more personal level. And usually it's just that, not trying to hit on someone but just being sociable. All my meets have all come from striking a connection in a natural way and I much prefer it that way. If you enjoy talking to people and not seeing this as a 'hunt' then I'm sure you'll have some success in meeting someone. | |||
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"When you joined here did you think you would be knee deep in offers ? Ladies falling over themselves to be with you? It is what it is and you have to make the best of it , lots of straight men struggle for messages replied never mind meets " I thought I’d be knee deep in clunge but it’s yet to materialize | |||
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"I totally understand and agree with it shame women have all the power and we men well strive for a tiny piece lol the hunt is on and the games afoot " this attitude is your problem op | |||
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"Please keep this to the forum. If you don't personalise your messages, you could copy and paste absolutely 100% exactly the same message to 10,000 women on here. You could just be carpet-bombing messages in the hope somebody will pick up on it. This is almost unimaginably unlikely to work. It's the sexual equivalent of phoning me up and saying "We have information that you have been in a car accident in the last three years" and about as exciting. Somebody who gets approached wants to know that they are somebody you like or at least have a passing interest in. That means you should have read their profile and have done reason in mind why they might want to have a conversation with you which you can explain in your message. If you don't, it's like you have printed 2,000 fliers that say "Hi. How are you?" posted them in every door in your town and then wondered why nobody responds. Why get numerous Fab messages that do not give any indication to us that they are actually interested in us as people. They make no attempt to talk to us or take any interest in what they know about us which is readily available on our profile. Why would we respond to something like that? The answer is we won't. It will go straight in the bin. No effort in = No effort in return. From what you put in your message (which wasn't an example so there is a bit of deduction here), that's what's happening to you. A short message that could go to millions of people on the planet unaltered does not indicate any genuine interest in us so into the bin it goes. If that's not a correct reading then please post an actual example. " Everyone always says this, it’s simply not true. If someone’s not into your profile or photos, it doesn’t matter how tailored the message is, they won’t reply. If they’re interested, they’ll reply regardless if it’s one word, or several paragraphs, or whatever, it’s immaterial. | |||
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"Do not show too much interest and do not compliment, just chat." What's the thinking here? There are compliments like "Ooh you're sexy", or perhaps better "Love the colour of that dress", and then there's "that thing you said in your profile is really interesting..." So it's whether you are making a compliment about something superficial they were born with, or if you're diving deeper and complementing their taste, or who they are as a person. Or are you suggesting that all compliments are bad: are we preying on women with low-self esteem and making them wonder why we're not falling all over them, perhaps just trying not to appear desperate, or starting off slow until they become comfortable with us because so much of the attention women get on here is of the "ooh you're sexy" kind? Edit: probably should have been "Ooh your sexy" | |||
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"Everyone always says this, it’s simply not true. If someone’s not into your profile or photos, it doesn’t matter how tailored the message is, they won’t reply. If they’re interested, they’ll reply regardless if it’s one word, or several paragraphs, or whatever, it’s immaterial. " I suspect there's a middle ground where it might make a difference... but yeah I can see the truth in that. | |||
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"I totally understand and agree with it shame women have all the power and we men well strive for a tiny piece lol the hunt is on and the games afoot this attitude is your problem op " Agreed. I wouldn't like to be viewed as a 'game' or 'hunted'. Perhaps use reply and quote as well OP, so we know who you are talking to. Good luck. X | |||
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"Just saying "Howdy!"" Most women say on their profile they won't respond to just saying "Howdy", or "Hi", "Hey" etc... | |||
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"I would normally send something like this: I just wanted to say hello and that I love your profile and I would love to know more about yourself, unless I'm being rude otherwise x" That's better than some. I would advise you say something specific about what you liked so they know you are engaging with them. Use their names at the beginning if they are on their profile. It makes a big difference. | |||
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"Do not show too much interest and do not compliment, just chat. What's the thinking here? There are compliments like "Ooh you're sexy", or perhaps better "Love the colour of that dress", and then there's "that thing you said in your profile is really interesting..." So it's whether you are making a compliment about something superficial they were born with, or if you're diving deeper and complementing their taste, or who they are as a person. Or are you suggesting that all compliments are bad: are we preying on women with low-self esteem and making them wonder why we're not falling all over them, perhaps just trying not to appear desperate, or starting off slow until they become comfortable with us because so much of the attention women get on here is of the "ooh you're sexy" kind? Edit: probably should have been "Ooh your sexy" " No direct compliments about appearance or anything like that. If she wants compliments, let her work for them. | |||
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"I (he) Could be brutally honest here and it would be purely opinion based, but I'd probably get a time out." Now now | |||
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"Why am I failing on fab swingers I know where not meeting anyone yet till it's safe and trust me I know it a women game on here believe me but must be my status or something. I know some stupid men mess it up for the good one but I must be going wrong somewhere. Just looking for a women perspective on this." If you really want to be successful, just devote all your social time to swinging... that means going to swing clubs every weekend , and be ready to drive anywhere in the UK and host at moments notice to have sex.... | |||
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"Why am I failing on fab swingers I know where not meeting anyone yet till it's safe and trust me I know it a women game on here believe me but must be my status or something. I know some stupid men mess it up for the good one but I must be going wrong somewhere. Just looking for a women perspective on this. If you really want to be successful, just devote all your social time to swinging... that means going to swing clubs every weekend , and be ready to drive anywhere in the UK and host at moments notice to have sex...." Or just go to swingers clubs. | |||
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"I've learnt a lot that no matter how much respect you show a lady on and treat her in the way they should be treated its all down to the and no amount of wishing is going to change that. Women have all the power and I respect that. " No , women do not hold all the power on Fab.... Just don’t act desperate and Fab will be a better experience for you.... | |||
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