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"Just wondered why a guy who describes hiself as "straight" on his profile then further down in the wanting to meet section says he wishes to meet t/v's ..???, whats all that about? i'm not having a dig and don't get me wrong i have no problem whatsoever with anyones sexuality but just don't get it....puzzles me. " Hunni you would be AMAZED at how many so called strait men mail me. AND male half's of couples!!!! | |||
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"Just wondered why a guy who describes hiself as "straight" on his profile then further down in the wanting to meet section says he wishes to meet t/v's ..???, whats all that about? i'm not having a dig and don't get me wrong i have no problem whatsoever with anyones sexuality but just don't get it....puzzles me. " we've had messages from such males only to be told the profile requirements were ticked by mistake or a friend set up the profile for them! puzzles us too!!! | |||
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"Hi Guys, be gentle with me this is my first time....... well in this forum anyway Joking apart I have contacted a few couples in the past and in my email I have stated that as the guy is straight, I won't make any advances towards him. Then in their reply, they say that he is bi and only says that he is straight in the profile, so that he won't put off straight guys who may be put off if he is bi don't ask me why but obviously some people are homophobic about guys being bi, but it's ok if they are with 2 girls..... go figure " welcome to posting in the forum dude, enjoy | |||
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"Hi Guys, be gentle with me this is my first time....... well in this forum anyway Joking apart I have contacted a few couples in the past and in my email I have stated that as the guy is straight, I won't make any advances towards him. Then in their reply, they say that he is bi and only says that he is straight in the profile, so that he won't put off straight guys who may be put off if he is bi don't ask me why but obviously some people are homophobic about guys being bi, but it's ok if they are with 2 girls..... go figure " All of which illustrates perfectly why lots of genuinely straight guy couples won't meet bi guys. The honest answer is,many of them can't be trusted. If they can't be trusted to put the truth in their profiles,what else do they blatantly lie about? Its a common misconception to think its only the straight guy in a couple who won't meet bi guys when in fact its also the woman. In truth some couples see it as a risk to their sexual safety. Right or wrong its a risk they're just not prepared to take. For the most part men are more sexualy promiscuous and the old saying that a standing prick has no conscience often rings true. Going by the attitude and profiles of some guys on here it would seem that any hole's a goal.So who's to say what they do off site,especialy when some posts and profiles seem full of testosterone fueled desperation. Couple that with the fact that threads like this,where bi guys openly admit to lying and deception only add to peoples mistrust and its little wonder that some couples won't meet them. Harsh maybe but probably true non the less. XXXX | |||
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"Hi Guys, be gentle with me this is my first time....... well in this forum anyway Joking apart I have contacted a few couples in the past and in my email I have stated that as the guy is straight, I won't make any advances towards him. Then in their reply, they say that he is bi and only says that he is straight in the profile, so that he won't put off straight guys who may be put off if he is bi don't ask me why but obviously some people are homophobic about guys being bi, but it's ok if they are with 2 girls..... go figure All of which illustrates perfectly why lots of genuinely straight guy couples won't meet bi guys. The honest answer is,many of them can't be trusted. If they can't be trusted to put the truth in their profiles,what else do they blatantly lie about? Its a common misconception to think its only the straight guy in a couple who won't meet bi guys when in fact its also the woman. In truth some couples see it as a risk to their sexual safety. Right or wrong its a risk they're just not prepared to take. For the most part men are more sexualy promiscuous and the old saying that a standing prick has no conscience often rings true. Going by the attitude and profiles of some guys on here it would seem that any hole's a goal.So who's to say what they do off site,especialy when some posts and profiles seem full of testosterone fueled desperation. Couple that with the fact that threads like this,where bi guys openly admit to lying and deception only add to peoples mistrust and its little wonder that some couples won't meet them. Harsh maybe but probably true non the less. XXXX" Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? | |||
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"Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? " But he is surely correct! I need my 4 litres of semen and at least 100 unique rectums to penetrate per day or I can't sleep at night! | |||
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"Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? But he is surely correct! I need my 4 litres of semen and at least 100 unique rectums to penetrate per day or I can't sleep at night! " LOL | |||
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"Hi Guys, be gentle with me this is my first time....... well in this forum anyway Joking apart I have contacted a few couples in the past and in my email I have stated that as the guy is straight, I won't make any advances towards him. Then in their reply, they say that he is bi and only says that he is straight in the profile, so that he won't put off straight guys who may be put off if he is bi don't ask me why but obviously some people are homophobic about guys being bi, but it's ok if they are with 2 girls..... go figure All of which illustrates perfectly why lots of genuinely straight guy couples won't meet bi guys. The honest answer is,many of them can't be trusted. If they can't be trusted to put the truth in their profiles,what else do they blatantly lie about? Its a common misconception to think its only the straight guy in a couple who won't meet bi guys when in fact its also the woman. In truth some couples see it as a risk to their sexual safety. Right or wrong its a risk they're just not prepared to take. For the most part men are more sexualy promiscuous and the old saying that a standing prick has no conscience often rings true. Going by the attitude and profiles of some guys on here it would seem that any hole's a goal.So who's to say what they do off site,especialy when some posts and profiles seem full of testosterone fueled desperation. Couple that with the fact that threads like this,where bi guys openly admit to lying and deception only add to peoples mistrust and its little wonder that some couples won't meet them. Harsh maybe but probably true non the less. XXXX Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? " A guy who enjoys sex with(oral or otherwise)and is happy to perform sex act/s with guys as well as women. As for tarring with the same brush,as I said in the post,"right or wrong" but it is the common view expressed by many couples who won't meet bi males. For the most part they've only got their own dishonesty to blame. XXXX | |||
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" XXXX Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? A guy who enjoys sex with(oral or otherwise)and is happy to perform sex act/s with guys as well as women. As for tarring with the same brush,as I said in the post,"right or wrong" but it is the common view expressed by many couples who won't meet bi males. For the most part they've only got their own dishonesty to blame. XXXX" Well thats where view points differ then. As we class bi as being a man/women who would happily have an intimate relationship with either sex. and note we mean relationships as ongoing day today partnerships... not just sex fuck buddies etc. And its people with views that class (your version) of bi men as second class, dirty, std ridden individuals that probably fuel the desire not be honest. | |||
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" XXXX Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? A guy who enjoys sex with(oral or otherwise)and is happy to perform sex act/s with guys as well as women. As for tarring with the same brush,as I said in the post,"right or wrong" but it is the common view expressed by many couples who won't meet bi males. For the most part they've only got their own dishonesty to blame. XXXX Well thats where view points differ then. As we class bi as being a man/women who would happily have an intimate relationship with either sex. and note we mean relationships as ongoing day today partnerships... not just sex fuck buddies etc. And its people with views that class (your version) of bi men as second class, dirty, std ridden individuals that probably fuel the desire not be honest. " should I be offended by that? | |||
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"Why bother? They're all labels - if you fancy some one - go for it - if you don't - don't! Why worry about what people say they are on their profile? Too much time and effort wasted on inconsequentials sometimes! ps - there are LOADS of differentreasons why guys put straight when they're gay/bi/curious - ain't my problem tho so good luck to them!" But swinging is supposed to be based on being honest about your needs to each other,surely this should also cover your sexuality because it does matter to others if not to yourselves. Saying "ain't my problem tho so good luck to them!" is just being flippant. I'll put it another way,suppose a couple had an std but didn't say, so as not to ruin their chances of a meet, would you still say "ain't my problem tho,so good luck to them!"? No,of course not,you'd want them to tell you so that you had the choice. Well the same applies for whatever reason it may be,people deserve the chance to make their own choices and you can only get that chance through honesty. XXXX | |||
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" XXXX Well talk about tarring everyone with the same brush. So let me get this straight (or bi .. lol)... What do you define as a bi guy ? A guy who enjoys sex with(oral or otherwise)and is happy to perform sex act/s with guys as well as women. As for tarring with the same brush,as I said in the post,"right or wrong" but it is the common view expressed by many couples who won't meet bi males. For the most part they've only got their own dishonesty to blame. XXXX Well thats where view points differ then. As we class bi as being a man/women who would happily have an intimate relationship with either sex. and note we mean relationships as ongoing day today partnerships... not just sex fuck buddies etc. And its people with views that class (your version) of bi men as second class, dirty, std ridden individuals that probably fuel the desire not be honest. " Not so,it's their own lies and dishonesty that do that. We and many others,I hope,have nothing but respect for honest openly bi or gay guys. | |||
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" .............. Not so,it's their own lies and dishonesty that do that. We and many others,I hope,have nothing but respect for honest openly bi or gay guys." "Honest". When it comes right down to it, that's the bottom line. People have to be prepared to be honest about their sexuality. | |||
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" Not so,it's their own lies and dishonesty that do that. We and many others,I hope,have nothing but respect for honest openly bi or gay guys." So from reading our profile, would you we're being honest or lieing ? | |||
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" should I be offended by that? " It was supposed to be written in defence of bi men based on intorrelant, narrow minded and abrasive attitudes towards sexual/emotional preferences. Which make a section of the swinging society feel they must lie because some people make them out to be second class people. | |||
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" should I be offended by that? It was supposed to be written in defence of bi men based on intorrelant, narrow minded and abrasive attitudes towards sexual/emotional preferences. Which make a section of the swinging society feel they must lie because some people make them out to be second class people." thanks for clearing that up personally, live and let live i say | |||
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" should I be offended by that? It was supposed to be written in defence of bi men based on intorrelant, narrow minded and abrasive attitudes towards sexual/emotional preferences. Which make a section of the swinging society feel they must lie because some people make them out to be second class people." I wouldn't say that they lie because "some people make them out to be second class people" but more likely just to get more 'hits'. Trace is genuinely bi and because of that we don't meet straight women,not because they're second class people but simply because we choose not to. We don't pretend she's straight on our profile in the hope of getting more meets. If all the bi guys on this site were honest,you'd probably find their numbers almost equal the bi fems. However you don't hear of bi fems pretending they're other than what they are just to get more 'hits' because they probably don't feel the need. Whereas unfortunately many bi guys are ruled by their balls rather than their conscience and resort to using deciet to get meets! If people don't want to meet because of sexuality,sexual 'kinks',body hair or whatever,thats their choice and the option should be available for them to make it. The goalposts shouldn't just be moved because someone thinks they're not getting enough meets,be honest and live with it! | |||
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" So from reading our profile, would you we're being honest or lieing ?" As we read the full profiles, we'd have noticed that yours said "Although A is straight" and in honesty its the "Although" that would make us think he could be bi in a given sexual situation. It's up to people to read the full profile,in the same way as its up to the writers to fill in key details. | |||
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" So from reading our profile, would you we're being honest or lieing ? As we read the full profiles, we'd have noticed that yours said "Although A is straight" and in honesty its the "Although" that would make us think he could be bi in a given sexual situation. It's up to people to read the full profile,in the same way as its up to the writers to fill in key details. " Yes that is true, if using your definition of bi. However our definition of bi is different. Andy does not fancy men, will not have a relationship with men, will not play with men on his own.... But in a couple situation he will as put "perform sexual acts with men" because that particular thing heightens both of our sexual pleasures. That doesn't make Andy bi though ! If anything it makes him sexually liberated. No doubt there are plenty of couples/guys out there that feel the same. | |||
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"Andy does not fancy men, will not have a relationship with men, will not play with men on his own.... But in a couple situation he will as put "perform sexual acts with men" because that particular thing heightens both of our sexual pleasures. That doesn't make Andy bi though ! If anything it makes him sexually liberated. No doubt there are plenty of couples/guys out there that feel the same." It seems to me like alot of the women who identify as "bi" on here actually fall under this catagory | |||
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"It seems to me like alot of the women who identify as "bi" on here actually fall under this catagory" I mean the women who have "bi" on their profiles! very different thing there | |||
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"Yippee someone who understands where we're coming from !!!!" I know all about the difference between desire and behaviour when it comes to sex It also applies to some of hte bi women I know who have only ever had relationships with men, simply because they've always been in straight circles so didn't meet many women that they might be able to have relationships with! | |||
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"............. Yes that is true, if using your definition of bi. However our definition of bi is different. Andy does not fancy men, will not have a relationship with men, will not play with men on his own.... But in a couple situation he will as put "perform sexual acts with men" because that particular thing heightens both of our sexual pleasures. That doesn't make Andy bi though ! If anything it makes him sexually liberated. No doubt there are plenty of couples/guys out there that feel the same." Whilst I accept you're entitled to define bi in any way you choose I can't agree with your definition. A man who will "perform sexual acts with men" is, by definition, either bi or gay (I've heard bi described as gay plus - in as much as a bi guy will have sex with men AND women). Why a man chooses to have sex with other men is neither here nor there - it's the act that defines the 'label'. | |||
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"......... and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. " Or celibate. Or a virgin. | |||
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"......... and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. Or celibate. Or a virgin. " oops forgot the clery .... cheers dude lol | |||
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"......... and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. Or celibate. Or a virgin. oops forgot the clery .... cheers dude lol " The who? The clergy? They're the worst offenders. | |||
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"......... and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. Or celibate. Or a virgin. oops forgot the clery .... cheers dude lol The who? The clergy? They're the worst offenders." | |||
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"......... and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. Or celibate. Or a virgin. oops forgot the clery .... cheers dude lol The who? The clergy? They're the worst offenders. " oops, they just get caught up in the moment and a cock pops in their mouth ... but ffs, they str8 lol | |||
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"yak yak bloody yak..... if a man has any form of sex with another man ....... he is BI. he may suck .... he may get sucked... he may fuck ... he may get fucked... but it's another man he is having a sexual act with.... not someone with tits and a vagina. and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. in the name of the wee man..... surely it's no that difficult.. man inserts penis into a vagina = hetrosexual. man inserts penis into mouth, ass or left fUcking ear of another man = NOT HETROSEXUAL........ NO offence to any sensitives out there.." See, this is the problem, the lable "bi" can apply to so many different kinds of sexuality that it ends up not really meaning anything! There are loads of gay people who wouldn't touch a bisexual person with a barge pole because there are quite alot of people who use the term "bi" to describe themselves when they only play with people of the same sex but only have heterosexual relationships, and so a gay person might feel like they don't want to get into a relationship with someone like that because they'll always run back to heterosexuality. As a result, lots of bi people who would really like a same sex relationship find it very hard to do so... I guess you could create sub catagories: "sexully bi" - has heterosexual relationships but peforms sexual acts with people of both genders "emotionally bi" - would entertain the prospect of a romantic relationship with someone of either gender, whatever the ratio between the two genders is | |||
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"Haud the bus! This is a swingers site not the Agony Aunt page in Women's Own. Emotionally bi? WFT is that?" I was using it as a term for someone who has relationships with people of both genders. Just a suggestion! Maybe romantically bi would be better Besides, surely part of being a swinger is exploring your sexuality, so these kinds of coversations are probably good to have! | |||
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"Haud the bus! This is a swingers site not the Agony Aunt page in Women's Own. Emotionally bi? WFT is that? I was using it as a term for someone who has relationships with people of both genders. Just a suggestion! Maybe romantically bi would be better Besides, surely part of being a swinger is exploring your sexuality, so these kinds of coversations are probably good to have!" I still don't get it. What's meant by "a term for someone who has relationships with people of both genders."? I have relationships with people of both genders but the relationships I have with women are very different from the relationships I have with men and none of them, of either gender, include romance. We can't escape the fact the 'bi' is a perfectly normal abbreviation for bisexual and nothing else. | |||
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"yak yak bloody yak..... if a man has any form of sex with another man ....... he is BI. he may suck .... he may get sucked... he may fuck ... he may get fucked... but it's another man he is having a sexual act with.... not someone with tits and a vagina. and if he never has sex with someone with a vagina...... he is gay. in the name of the wee man..... surely it's no that difficult.. man inserts penis into a vagina = hetrosexual. man inserts penis into mouth, ass or left fUcking ear of another man = NOT HETROSEXUAL........ NO offence to any sensitives out there.." Thank you very much View.......at last the truth of the matter straight from the horses mouth (if you'll parden the expression). Anything else reminds me of the old joke about not being gay but shagging a guy who was! As you intimated,it would be damn nigh impossible both mentaly and physicaly for a straight guy to be able to commit sexual acts with another guy willingly,unless he had homosexual tendencies,making him bi or gay not straight. | |||
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"I still don't get it. What's meant by "a term for someone who has relationships with people of both genders."? I have relationships with people of both genders but the relationships I have with women are very different from the relationships I have with men and none of them, of either gender, include romance. We can't escape the fact the 'bi' is a perfectly normal abbreviation for bisexual and nothing else." I ment relationships as in romantic relationships. And, as this thread has demonstrated, the term "bisexual" in practice coveres a massive range of behaviours and practices. I was just making suggestions for sub catagories so people can better communicate! | |||
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" Yes that is true, if using your definition of bi. However our definition of bi is different. Andy does not fancy men, will not have a relationship with men, will not play with men on his own.... But in a couple situation he will as put "perform sexual acts with men" because that particular thing heightens both of our sexual pleasures. That doesn't make Andy bi though ! If anything it makes him sexually liberated. No doubt there are plenty of couples/guys out there that feel the same." Its not the situation that makes a guy bi,its the mental and physical ability to be able to derive pleasure from having sex with another male or the need to do it. I AM straight and in an exciting group sex situation nothing is further from my mind than sex with another guy. No matter how it might "heighten" the situation,physicaly and mentaly it would be a no go. | |||
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"After reading this thread, we now believe the only other category needed on the site is straight-curious, because although we're both straight we're now both confused to what being straight actually means you lot are complicated " Simple,straight means having no desire to have sex with the same sex. Although I understand what Wombatk said,inasmuch as some women are coerced into performing with/on other women chiefly for male pleasure,yet still have bi on their profile. XXXX | |||
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"I still don't get it. What's meant by "a term for someone who has relationships with people of both genders."? I have relationships with people of both genders but the relationships I have with women are very different from the relationships I have with men and none of them, of either gender, include romance. We can't escape the fact the 'bi' is a perfectly normal abbreviation for bisexual and nothing else. I ment relationships as in romantic relationships. And, as this thread has demonstrated, the term "bisexual" in practice coveres a massive range of behaviours and practices. I was just making suggestions for sub catagories so people can better communicate!" At the risk of labouring a point. The term "bisexual" in practice DOES NOT cover a massive range of behaviours and practices, it means someone who has sex with, but not exclusively with, someone of the same sex. | |||
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"What about a woman who primarily had sex with other women but also liked fucking men up the arse with a strap on? Would simply using the word "bisexual" do for that? " Yes. Fucking someone up the arse (either with a cock or a strap-on or a length of 4x2) is a sexual act and doing it with both men and women makes it bi - hence bisexual. | |||
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"After reading this thread, we now believe the only other category needed on the site is straight-curious, because although we're both straight we're now both confused to what being straight actually means you lot are complicated " I think the unneccessary complication stems from the fact that some men who are openly bi resent the suggestion that they might be gay. The flaw in their case is that, in many cases, bi men perform the same acts on men as gay men do on each other - it's just that bi men don't restrict their activities to other men. It's back to what I wrote earlier about bi being a bit like gay plus. | |||
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"Have sex with someone of the same sex and your bisexual, be happy about it, never be ashamed of it." here here x "So if a guy likes to suck willies and likes to have oral sex with women but doesn't like to have anal sex with either, what is he ? bisexual - hetrosexual or just nonsexual ?" Eunuch | |||
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". Why do men moreso than women have such a problem admiting they like fun with other guys, .............?" There's still a perception in mainstream culture which belives, wrongly in my opinion, that gay/ bi men are somehow less masculine than straight men. Whilst I appreciate it's easy to get hung up on labels it's still a convenient shorthand for most of us - it just makes it easy for others to beat us up a wee bit for no more than being 'different'. For my part, most folk I know are aware I'm straight but whenever the subject of sexuality arises I point out that because I enjoy sex outdoors I consider myself a hedgerowsexual | |||
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". Why do men moreso than women have such a problem admiting they like fun with other guys, .............? There's still a perception in mainstream culture which belives, wrongly in my opinion, that gay/ bi men are somehow less masculine than straight men. Whilst I appreciate it's easy to get hung up on labels it's still a convenient shorthand for most of us - it just makes it easy for others to beat us up a wee bit for no more than being 'different'. For my part, most folk I know are aware I'm straight but whenever the subject of sexuality arises I point out that because I enjoy sex outdoors I consider myself a hedgerowsexual " This can't just go by un noticed - quite apart from being succinct and understandable (even by a thicko like me) the last sentence is outstanding! Made me laugh out loud - even merited being written out in full!!! | |||
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"Isn't the term Bisexual refering to sex ? I mean if you have sex with someone of the same sex surely you are "bisexual", nowt wrong with that, we are what we are *snip* I have sex with women, I don't have any desire to have a relationship with them, what does that make me ? not hetrosexual, not bisexual, not homosexual, I must be something surely ?" Surely you're contradicting yourself here? This is just a problem of the limitations of language. And I know that many people who have relationships with people of both genders get very pissed off that people who are actually straight but sometimes fool around with people of the same sex call themselves bi. | |||
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"..................... And I know that many people who have relationships with people of both genders get very pissed off that people who are actually straight but sometimes fool around with people of the same sex call themselves bi." It may be a limitation of language but what else would you call them? Surely they are bi. We can't reserve a sex word for those who achieve the 'higher plane' of a relationship, can we? | |||
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"..................... And I know that many people who have relationships with people of both genders get very pissed off that people who are actually straight but sometimes fool around with people of the same sex call themselves bi. It may be a limitation of language but what else would you call them? Surely they are bi. We can't reserve a sex word for those who achieve the 'higher plane' of a relationship, can we?" I never said it was a "higher plane", it's just different behaviour, and yes, a different sexuality. And if we use the same word to describe two very different behaviours then there's going to be confusion. It's not so much of an issue in the swinging world, as people aren't looking for romantic relationships, but it has a detrimental impact on many people's lives and identities. | |||
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" All of which illustrates perfectly why lots of genuinely straight guy couples won't meet bi guys. The honest answer is,many of them can't be trusted. If they can't be trusted to put the truth in their profiles,what else do they blatantly lie about? Its a common misconception to think its only the straight guy in a couple who won't meet bi guys when in fact its also the woman. In truth some couples see it as a risk to their sexual safety. Right or wrong its a risk they're just not prepared to take. For the most part men are more sexualy promiscuous and the old saying that a standing prick has no conscience often rings true. Going by the attitude and profiles of some guys on here it would seem that any hole's a goal.So who's to say what they do off site,especialy when some posts and profiles seem full of testosterone fueled desperation. Couple that with the fact that threads like this,where bi guys openly admit to lying and deception only add to peoples mistrust and its little wonder that some couples won't meet them. Harsh maybe but probably true non the less. XXXX" but i would suspect after looking at loads of profiles on here that alot of people who class them selves as straight couples the man is actually bi.i understand that you dont meet bi because you think they may be lying, but how do you ween out those that say they are straight when in fact they are not? | |||
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"True but I don't like narrow minded opinons of people and like a chance to figure out why one would think like that. Also I'd like to think our profile was an honest one with nothing to hide, like people seem to insinuate." i contacted a straight couple as their profile stated, was told by the guy that mrs not playing anymore, that guy had single profile on which he declared himself bi. to me totally out of order conduct and down right dishonest | |||
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" but i would suspect after looking at loads of profiles on here that alot of people who class them selves as straight couples the man is actually bi.i understand that you dont meet bi because you think they may be lying, but how do you ween out those that say they are straight when in fact they are not?" Which is why we prefer profiles with the friends and varifications on show. At least that way theres a bit of a clue in the people they've met previously. Also if they say in their profile "Sorry no bi guys" or similar that helps. Put it this way, if a guy met us on the pretext of being straight who we later found out to be bi, we'd be less than happy bunnies and would make our feelings known. No one takes kindly to deception. If they lie about their sexuality what else do they lie about? We only want folk in our home we feel we can trust! | |||
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