FabSwingers.com forum: Thoughts on number of partners?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just curious what people's views are on number of sexual partners, both their own, and their partners?

Do you keep count? Is it important or unimportant? Do you have a target, or a limit? Does matter how many your partner has been with, do you prefer they have high or low numbers?

I expect this community probably doesn't care about numbers much given the lifestyle, and that people's tallies will generally be a lot higher than considered "normal" in the vanilla world. But curious about it never the less?

I do actually keep count, and my count will be more modest than many here (I'm not sharing my number), I'll get into triple figures at some point (I doubt four figures but who knows), but I have no set target or limit, that's not important to me. I also couldn't care less about my partner's histories or aspirations.

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

Can't say I keep a tally

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By *Mids guyMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

Numbers don’t really bother me given we’re all on here for fun!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Never count but due to my age and love of group sex i guess it is quite high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading your post, I sit down and actually counted them. I've got 29 sexual partners (and I am 36). I am really not sure if they are lots or few. My parents had only had each other all their lives, it seems a lot to me when I think to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know my numbers not at all interested in my sexual partner's numbers... unless it's zero.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!"

That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!

That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?"

It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!

That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?

It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion!

Ah OK that makes more sense! I'm clearly suffering Sunday brain!

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

"I would say it was important to me, but much more relaxed about it these days. I'm not sure what my number is!

That's very contradictory. How can it be very important to you yet you don't know what your number is? How does that work?

It was, past tense, but I'm not bothered about it now, present tense. Sorry for any confusion!

Ah OK that makes more sense! I'm clearly suffering Sunday brain!"

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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago

lake ariel

I lost track a long time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not worried about numbers either someone else or my own ..

Someone asked me once and I did give them a rough estimate and they were pretty disgusted

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

"Not worried about numbers either someone else or my own ..

Someone asked me once and I did give them a rough estimate and they were pretty disgusted

So what was your estimate?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost count a long time ago to start with it was kind off a kink for me to have as high a number is I could and somewhere along the way I lost count gb and threesome really do pump those numbers up and then that’s when you start to lose count

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Omg at my age

I lost count many years ago ..

I even see people on local nights out and can’t remember if I’d slept with them ..

Says a lot about my memory

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx "

In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental"

Sorry, I don't understand your question!

Jo.Xx

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental

Sorry, I don't understand your question!

Jo.Xx "

In terms of not knowing what to think? Happy to let it drop though, if I read more into it than I should have

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

In what way? I don't think any reasonable person would be judgemental

Sorry, I don't understand your question!

Jo.Xx

In terms of not knowing what to think? Happy to let it drop though, if I read more into it than I should have"

Oh I see.

No, what I mean is. Now I don't hold so much 'value' to sex. In that, it is just that 'Sex'!

It's not something I see as sacred as I used to. More it's a pleasure and as long as no one is being harmed and its all consentful then why shouldn't we indulge?

I hope that cleared it up.

I'm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx "

Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?

K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.

How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??

Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.

KJ x

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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

[Removed by poster at 12/07/20 15:57:37]

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

My total is 35ish, but only two in the last 20 years!

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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

I've always viewed the subject of how many lovers you have had a bit weird. There seems to be an element of snobbery and double standards that seems to be steeped in an antequited ideology and misogynistic religious values. When I have encountered people who are preoccupied with people's past sexual history, it normally comes from an emotion of deep insecurity . Sex is sex, it's part of our social well-being, why add superficial outdated constructs to it. Just enjoy the moment, whether that is a casual or long-term relationship.

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By *na_Luv_4PlayCouple
over a year ago

Santa lucia de Tirajana

"Just curious what people's views are on number of sexual partners, both their own, and their partners?

Do you keep count? Is it important or unimportant? Do you have a target, or a limit? Does matter how many your partner has been with, do you prefer they have high or low numbers?

Xx"

Nowhere near enough.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?

K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.

How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??

Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.

KJ x "

Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.

I definitely had an old school upbringing where sex was sacred. Which is why I remained with 1 man. We are on a journey of sexual discovery so things are changing for us. We only started this 2 years ago and we've spent the last few months in lockdown like everyone else.

We have many plans though!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always viewed the subject of how many lovers you have had a bit weird. There seems to be an element of snobbery and double standards that seems to be steeped in an antequited ideology and misogynistic religious values. When I have encountered people who are preoccupied with people's past sexual history, it normally comes from an emotion of deep insecurity . Sex is sex, it's part of our social well-being, why add superficial outdated constructs to it. Just enjoy the moment, whether that is a casual or long-term relationship.

Exactly that, for me its all about the person and the connection we have. No one is an angel on here therefore why get hung up on it. Life is for living

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It’s not important.

What is important is that I’m respected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on 10 lovers.

Doesn't really matter how many people someone's had sex with when I'm seeing them. Fairly confident that everyone I've slept with have slept with more people that I have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

Its really unimportant to me.

Do I know how many people I've slept with? Yes.

If my partner was said it was 2, 200, 2,000 I honestly wouldn't care.

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By *oupleseekingCouple
over a year ago

nearby…..

Quite a lot..... but who’s counting?

Yolo

As long as safe play

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I would never even ask someone how many partners they've had in the past. It's mostly not my business and is no real indicator of anything anyway.

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By *on12xxMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.lp

... Skype. Fun play now for quickie couples fems or maybe try a bi man. Message me

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?

K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.

How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??

Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.

KJ x

Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.

We have many plans though!

Jo.Xx "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It won't bother me the more the better i say

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By *attooBBWWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The majority of my friends don’t know what I do and I remember being pissed one night discussing this. A male friend who used to be a right shagger was shocked I’d slept with more people than him. I’m actually reluctant to ever disclose

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Never thought or asked about it with partners, in relation to the concept of a 'number'.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I (Luke) don't keep track but I reckon it's somewhere between 20 and 30. My OH Hannah is more like single figures.

I am not worried about how many people a woman has been with. I'm much more interested in whether they make decisions on their love life according to what's right for them. Some want very low numbers, others just can't get enough. I really respect a woman for working out what she wants (or at least wants to try) and has the confidence to go for it rather than worrying about a norm imposed on them by society and/or the media.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a decent question.

My number is extremely low.

Infact I remember names it's that low.

I have been with D for 23 years and been loyal to him for the same time. Since joining here we have only ever met Women.

I thought it was important to me. Now I don't know what I think...

Jo.Xx

Do you count the woman you have met as sexual partners as well?

K is bisexual so she counts men and women when talking about sexual partners. I dont think niether of us could tell you our number though.

How do you count a 20 person orgy where you had some sexual interaction with approx 50 - 70% of the participants??

Personal i think when your a full blown swinger, into group sex then after a while counting would just become impossible.

KJ x

Yes, I have been with more women than Men. It's not a competition though.

We have many plans though!

Jo.Xx "

Cool

We wish you the best of sexy adventures once normality returns xxx

At the end of the day the only guarantee is this life we have now. When I am on my death bed I want no regrets and lots of horny memories x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a count of my own, I'd never ask someone I was with unless it became a serious long-term relationship thing and then I'd probably be curious about their history.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I've had an active sex life for 43 years, 40 years of those as a single woman.

I've lost count.

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

Don't know, don't care. Both of us were very sexually active before we met and we've carried on since tying the knot.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

I don't really care. As long as everyone's consenting, having fun, sharing and spreading pleasure, being responsible about their (and their partner's) health... higher the better, if anything. It's kinda hot / a turn on knowing the woman has had it loads, loves it and can't get enough! So maybe that is caring? But maybe in the opposite way to what's "normal" or culturally "acceptable" in the wider, pubic (and double-standard) consciousness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Geez, this has made me think. I'm pretty certain it's 10 altogether. A few of those were best forgotten though!

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

As long as everyone involved is healthy I don't think numbers are important, just another preference x N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Partners not many, playmates loads x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s not important.

What is important is that I’m respected."

Exactly this

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

I'm practically a virgin

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Absolute no idea.

Would love someone to magic me up the result though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had quite a few sexual partners, not in triple figures yet, probably not even close. I do like variety so I certainly could not be with just one person for the rest of my life, no matter how good a lover they'd be. I'd also much prefer my partner to be at least a bit experienced, don't really want to teach someone from scratch how to pleasure a woman. Unless it's another woman

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have been asked this question. I don't know the number, but I could work it out if I could be arsed. I have a name for everyone I've had sex with (though it may not be their real name!), so given pen and paper and an hour or so, I could come up with an answer.

The ex who asked the question was obsessed by his number. He had rules of what counted and what didn't. Just a blowjob? Doesn't count. Gay sex counted only if there was penetration. Sex with another woman didn't count for me unless a man was also involved.

He told me about this when we were lying in bed, and in his defence he didn't mind that I laughed until my ribs ached.

I think it stemmed from insecurity - he'd had very little luck with women in his 20s so he was keen to reassure himself that he was desirable in his 30s. To him, the number of partners he'd had gave him an absolute objective measure: 18 women found him desirable.

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By *urocougarCouple
over a year ago

watton

I’m in my 60’s and had more cockends than weekends

Swinging for over 40 years will do that to you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't kept count but I could give an estimate, and I wouldn't want to know my partner's (I don't currently have one by the way). I'd rather enjoy the here and now, and our (imaginary) future together

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

Like born again Christians, I like to think of me as a born again virgin, no need to count then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care how many someone has had. As long as they've been safe then I put it all down to experience.

And experience is what makes is learn our tolerances, turn ons/offs and how to please those we are with

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Don't keep count. And I have absolutely no interest in a partner's numbers, I don't even ask the question.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I don’t think of it as numbers but lovely memories.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I don’t think of it as numbers but lovely memories. "

That's a lovely way to think of it.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"I don’t think of it as numbers but lovely memories.

That's a lovely way to think of it.

Agreed.

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By *picyrodMan
over a year ago

Leicestershire

60 women only 5 mean something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped counting at the 26th I just remember that number

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Never kept count. Lost track and stopped caring somewhere around 7 which was sometime in the 90s.

My wife and I where within the first few partners for each other and that's all that matters.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Mr has lost count a long time ago and Mrs is much lower but still highish, we both don't care about any of that.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

i never counted until during lockdown, i decided to write all my lovers. omg i was so bad at remembering their names etc

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