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is it balanced

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

god forbid, couples were to separate and started to fling mud at each other and the subject of swinging came up...

would it be the same for both or would any negativity that came from it be more for one.

would people judge the female more than the male or vice versa....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is a good question..

will look forward to seeing some of the opinions

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

well when i split with my ex husband nothing came out, neither of us have ever said anything to anyone

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"well when i split with my ex husband nothing came out, neither of us have ever said anything to anyone"

fantastic and the way it should be.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would be concerned that the woman would be judged harsher. But just like with other secrets that couples have on each other, swinging could definitely be used to discredit the partner after a less than amicable split - in small communities the threat of the new boss, colleagues, friends, relatives finding out (being told)...

I personally would not be worried as I am secure enough in myself but I can imagine this causing a lot of (unecessary) stress to some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have seen couples explode in chatrooms and it is horrible.

people split on one side or the other and then you get the so called friends mud slinging.

better off out of it and if asked for opinion just say leave me out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some of our friends know what we do and some think its cool and some think we are treading on thin ice but they all support us and we lead a double life we are no hurting anyone plus i dont think either party would come off bad its not so taboo these days

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

surely though if one lets the cat out of the bag its going to look bad on them as well

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I would be concerned that the woman would be judged harsher. But just like with other secrets that couples have on each other, swinging could definitely be used to discredit the partner after a less than amicable split - in small communities the threat of the new boss, colleagues, friends, relatives finding out (being told)...

I personally would not be worried as I am secure enough in myself but I can imagine this causing a lot of (unecessary) stress to some people."

I think initially they would be judged the same by outsiders/family but

the guy would be thought of as the one who pressurised the female

and

any stigma would last longer for the female

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"some of our friends know what we do and some think its cool and some think we are treading on thin ice but they all support us and we lead a double life we are no hurting anyone plus i dont think either party would come off bad its not so taboo these days"

You say this now and I am sure you are ok with it and that your relationship stays a lng and happy one... but suppose in 10 years' time you consider a completely different life style, meet a different person and would not want their nose rubbed in it? Or you might choose to help out at school with the kids etc, unfortunately some people would consider a swinger a risk to children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some of our friends know what we do and some think its cool and some think we are treading on thin ice but they all support us and we lead a double life we are no hurting anyone plus i dont think either party would come off bad its not so taboo these days

You say this now and I am sure you are ok with it and that your relationship stays a lng and happy one... but suppose in 10 years' time you consider a completely different life style, meet a different person and would not want their nose rubbed in it? Or you might choose to help out at school with the kids etc, unfortunately some people would consider a swinger a risk to children."

First off im a swinger not a peado there is a very strong differnce and if anyone suggests a swingers is a danger to a child are mad, unfortunatly some couples choice swinging to save there marriage but just ends up falling apart we have witnessed this with friends of ours, we choice purely to do this to add fun to our sex life and meet new people who knows what the furture holds but me and dave are very much in love and have very tight marriage if either of us wants to stop we will and have always said this from the beginning but so far we are both having alot of fun and dont see us stopping anytime soon

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

this is hypothetical.

if a couple spilt up, they both worked in offices

and they both loved greedy girls nights and had a good few FFM sessions...

and it was revealed...

would ANY impact be the same that she had fun with 8 guys

and he had sessions with multiple females

sadly, still in todays society I think the female would be judged harsher.

I would be very happy to be wrong tho.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"some of our friends know what we do and some think its cool and some think we are treading on thin ice but they all support us and we lead a double life we are no hurting anyone plus i dont think either party would come off bad its not so taboo these days

You say this now and I am sure you are ok with it and that your relationship stays a lng and happy one... but suppose in 10 years' time you consider a completely different life style, meet a different person and would not want their nose rubbed in it? Or you might choose to help out at school with the kids etc, unfortunately some people would consider a swinger a risk to children.

First off im a swinger not a peado there is a very strong differnce and if anyone suggests a swingers is a danger to a child are mad, unfortunatly some couples choice swinging to save there marriage but just ends up falling apart we have witnessed this with friends of ours, we choice purely to do this to add fun to our sex life and meet new people who knows what the furture holds but me and dave are very much in love and have very tight marriage if either of us wants to stop we will and have always said this from the beginning but so far we are both having alot of fun and dont see us stopping anytime soon"
I think you may have misunderstood me and I want to offer clarification here; I persoanlly certainly do not equate swinging with paedophilia but I do know that some less open people are very quick at drawing conclusions that swingers are potentially a danger to children. Also, I am sure you are in a happy committed relationship and as I said I hope you continue to be happy. All I was trying to say was that other people are not as open and non judgmental and you may not have considered that things could change in the future. Hope that makes sense? There was no implied criticism of you in my post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is hypothetical.

if a couple spilt up, they both worked in offices

and they both loved greedy girls nights and had a good few FFM sessions...

and it was revealed...

would ANY impact be the same that she had fun with 8 guys

and he had sessions with multiple females

sadly, still in todays society I think the female would be judged harsher.

I would be very happy to be wrong tho.

"

Me and dave both worked at a corporate company and the storys we heard well we could go on and on there where gay men shagging each other, affairs and one woman even had her own website and worked as a porn star but they all got the same treatment but unfortunaly woman still come off worse in todays world just look at the giggs saga Imogen got slated for having an affair with a married man but he came off like a bed of roses even tho he was the one who was married and was a "family man"

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"this is hypothetical.

if a couple spilt up, they both worked in offices

and they both loved greedy girls nights and had a good few FFM sessions...

and it was revealed...

would ANY impact be the same that she had fun with 8 guys

and he had sessions with multiple females

sadly, still in todays society I think the female would be judged harsher.

I would be very happy to be wrong tho.

Me and dave both worked at a corporate company and the storys we heard well we could go on and on there where gay men shagging each other, affairs and one woman even had her own website and worked as a porn star but they all got the same treatment but unfortunaly woman still come off worse in todays world just look at the giggs saga Imogen got slated for having an affair with a married man but he came off like a bed of roses even tho he was the one who was married and was a "family man""

thanks, agree re the giggs scenario

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some of our friends know what we do and some think its cool and some think we are treading on thin ice but they all support us and we lead a double life we are no hurting anyone plus i dont think either party would come off bad its not so taboo these days

You say this now and I am sure you are ok with it and that your relationship stays a lng and happy one... but suppose in 10 years' time you consider a completely different life style, meet a different person and would not want their nose rubbed in it? Or you might choose to help out at school with the kids etc, unfortunately some people would consider a swinger a risk to children.

First off im a swinger not a peado there is a very strong differnce and if anyone suggests a swingers is a danger to a child are mad, unfortunatly some couples choice swinging to save there marriage but just ends up falling apart we have witnessed this with friends of ours, we choice purely to do this to add fun to our sex life and meet new people who knows what the furture holds but me and dave are very much in love and have very tight marriage if either of us wants to stop we will and have always said this from the beginning but so far we are both having alot of fun and dont see us stopping anytime soon I think you may have misunderstood me and I want to offer clarification here; I persoanlly certainly do not equate swinging with paedophilia but I do know that some less open people are very quick at drawing conclusions that swingers are potentially a danger to children. Also, I am sure you are in a happy committed relationship and as I said I hope you continue to be happy. All I was trying to say was that other people are not as open and non judgmental and you may not have considered that things could change in the future. Hope that makes sense? There was no implied criticism of you in my post. "

I completly understand but if people want to judge me they can i really dont care i have my friends who love me regardless of what i do in my private life

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"this is hypothetical.

if a couple spilt up, they both worked in offices

and they both loved greedy girls nights and had a good few FFM sessions...

and it was revealed...

would ANY impact be the same that she had fun with 8 guys

and he had sessions with multiple females

sadly, still in todays society I think the female would be judged harsher.

I would be very happy to be wrong tho.

Me and dave both worked at a corporate company and the storys we heard well we could go on and on there where gay men shagging each other, affairs and one woman even had her own website and worked as a porn star but they all got the same treatment but unfortunaly woman still come off worse in todays world just look at the giggs saga Imogen got slated for having an affair with a married man but he came off like a bed of roses even tho he was the one who was married and was a "family man"

thanks, agree re the giggs scenario"

Agreed re Giggs and it reflects society... women are still judged a lot harsher, often by people who have little or no understanding of the scene and/ or suffer from low self-esteem themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its such a shame we still live like this its even harder for woman if she is a mum because then not only does she get judged for her lifestyle but also what mother she is, Im a great mum to my little boys but if someone then found out i was a swinger im sure they would think different id be running for bad mum of the year award lol, I never let my swinging lifestyle affect the relationship i have with my child but we all need to have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got reported to social services by an ex friend for swinging... It back fired on her in the long run but at the time it was not nice.. however saying that social services did take an open _iew and were happy that my children were not put at risk..

As to this... I don't like it when couples score points against one another.. but I do think that sadly the woman would get more grief unless people believed that the guy had forced her etc.

Cali

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I got reported to social services by an ex friend for swinging... It back fired on her in the long run but at the time it was not nice.. however saying that social services did take an open _iew and were happy that my children were not put at risk..

As to this... I don't like it when couples score points against one another.. but I do think that sadly the woman would get more grief unless people believed that the guy had forced her etc.

Cali "

thanks Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nothing in this world is balanced, even the planet is tilted.

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"nothing in this world is balanced, even the planet is tilted. "

very true

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