FabSwingers.com forum: How to politely decline

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, you’ve had a wee message with some one, you send a face pic, they like you. They send a face pic back and the attraction just isn’t there. How do you politely decline without being rude/nasty?

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

We have a set reply* along the lines of "thanks, we've got a long list of guys who meet our criteria so we're only really looking for couples and girls for Char right now, but we'll pop you in our saved folder for later". If they then badger us too much they get blocked.

* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!

Bry (and Char)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say. Thanks for getting in touch but Im pursuing other avenues at the moment. Best of luck.

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"We have a set reply* along the lines of "thanks, we've got a long list of guys who meet our criteria so we're only really looking for couples and girls for Char right now, but we'll pop you in our saved folder for later". If they then badger us too much they get blocked.

* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!

Bry (and Char)"
Sounds really good, (seriously good). You should be in the Diplomatic Corps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be nice to get a polite reply declining most of the time. Glad to see some people do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry mate, doesn't work for me. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not feeling any attraction, is pretty much what we say. It it ain't there wishing isn't gonna change it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant

You must be pretty glad they weren't your type and found out so early what they're really like

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

'Merry Christmas'

*Don't reply.

*No Thank You.

*A few words.

*Long-winded explaination.

Had differing results for all of these. Never be offended by a bad response, after all just becasue someone writes doesn't mean you have to reply one way or the other.

If they respond badly then you chose the right response anyways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a simple no thanks if they keep on or get nasty i block but if ive had a day when theres loads of messages i just delete as fab rules are no reply is no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just say we're sorry, that there has to be attraction, it's just not there and wish them all the best.

We've rarely had a negative response to that bar one or two

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a guy a mild form of back handed compliment... "sorry mate but you're a little too masculine for my taste"... if it's a lady it's almost certainly for the above reason (can't do a strong jawline

) in which case... I run away like a little coward...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

* It's used so often that it types itself by repeated taps on the middle "word suggestion" on my phone!

Bry (and Char)"

That is very good!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be nice to get a polite reply declining most of the time. Glad to see some people do it.

Have been deleting at first message with some, but if you’ve swapped pics I think a reply is decent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant

There’s always one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say 'sorry not for me' and block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow, I do NOT find you attractive"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Wow, I do NOT find you attractive""

Yep, that works. If they can’t handle it. Then it’s the block button for them.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

Thank you for taking the time to check out/read my profile, your message and pic.

I’m sorry to say that I am not interested.

Happy fabbing

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I like to be told 'I/We want you so much it hurts but at the same time I/we feel totally pathetic in your shadow. Therefore I/we are now going to block you to save me/us from the pain. Take care sexy...love you forever xxx'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Wow, I do NOT find you attractive"

Yep, that works. If they can’t handle it. Then it’s the block button for them."

I definitely can’t be that direct, but it would certainly get the point across

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Thanks but no thanks

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Thank you for taking the time to check out/read my profile, your message and pic.

I’m sorry to say that I am not interested.

Happy fabbing

This is our way too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not hard to say no thanks, we're not interested... Some people just can't deal with it and that's entirely their issue.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Thanks but not what we're looking for...and don't explain why either when you're then asked 'what are you looking for".

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By *uesswhosback!Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Woah... what the hell is that!!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I find a simple 'thanks for your message but I'm not interested' works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant

You must be pretty glad they weren't your type and found out so early what they're really like"

For sure, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to be told 'I/We want you so much it hurts but at the same time I/we feel totally pathetic in your shadow. Therefore I/we are now going to block you to save me/us from the pain. Take care sexy...love you forever xxx'"

Lolol might try that one

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

We have a disclaimer on our profile page, “only meet at clubs with nothing prearranged”.

If they are of interest we might advise when we are going to a club.

However, it still gives us a get out if there is no chemistry.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*"

Quite brilliant

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*"

Your brother is black too??

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*

Your brother is black too??

Why not? Not exactly the most believable to start with!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I usually send something like this:

Thank you for the photos, however on this occasion there is no mutual attraction but I wish you every success in your ventures on Fab Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*"

I’m saving this one for future use!

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By *exfordMan
over a year ago

discombobulated land

"So, you’ve had a wee message with some one, you send a face pic, they like you. They send a face pic back and the attraction just isn’t there. How do you politely decline without being rude/nasty? "

Go round to their house and burn their car!

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By *man013Man
over a year ago

Derby

Just be honest say you're not for me. I've had to many people drag out conversations only to ghost or delete after a face pic and I'd sooner people were upfront as I can understand I'm not everyone's cuppa tea

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By *exfordMan
over a year ago

discombobulated land

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*"

They might reply and say..I AM your brother!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just reply.

"I'm really sorry but you are not my type. It's not you, it's me. I wish you well on fab"

Yeah I proper cop out, with the whole it's not you it's me thing haha

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"Oh my word, you look EXACTLY like my brother. I'm so sorry, but it would be really weird to take this any further. Good luck on here, hope you find what you're looking for.

*block*

Your brother is black too??

Why not? Not exactly the most believable to start with!

"
And he has a hunchback too??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just block and delete

Saves drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP trust me. We are used to it. No hard feelings. Slide away and enjoy your browsing. There’s always a chance someone else will like my kind of ugly so it’s all good.

My personal pet peeve is when you have to ask for a face pic and then find not attractive. In my world of you instigate conversation a face pic in first message should be a given.

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By *nique_78Woman
over a year ago

Home, somewhere in Norfolk

In general I let the conversation dry out and they move on, I mostly look at profiles before conversation starts and say no thank you, happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only words you need are

“ no - thank you “

Easy and polite - costs nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest, youre not my type

If you feel like then block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ people are actually like this, if you cant deal with rejection you shouldnt be on fab, people have different tastes and wants, a polite but firm rejection is much more polite than ghosting a just a ban take it on the chin and move on, plenty more options are available, hell that's why fab exists

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By *spotpleasurerMan
over a year ago

Norwich

A simple no is fine. We're all adults here and can take the rejection without a detailed justification.

It's much worse to be too polite to say no, as it raises expectations and the impression you're still interested. If you've exchanged messages, best to be honest and upfront about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Christ people are actually like this, if you cant deal with rejection you shouldnt be on fab, people have different tastes and wants, a polite but firm rejection is much more polite than ghosting a just a ban take it on the chin and move on, plenty more options are available, hell that's why fab exists

Unfortunately, enough men take rejection poorly that most women have learned to try and let down their fragile egos gently rather than deal with the abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately, enough men take rejection poorly that most women have learned to try and let down their fragile egos gently rather than deal with the abuse."

Boys not men, sad really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say it straight up.

“Sorry lovely, you’re not my type. Happy fabbing!”

Or words to that effect.

Only had a couple of guys be dicks about it and I just blocked them.

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

We normally just say it's a polite decline from us .

If they ask for an explanation we just block

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By *urenutsMan
over a year ago

waltham cross/Harrow HA1

People need to learn to deal with it. You shouldn't take it as a rejection. Then turn on the person or couple with a rant of abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that it happens much as I don’t get that many offers, but generally ‘sorry, but I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for. Flattered that you contacted me though, take care, hope you find’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/07/20 13:55:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just be honest if they message us again we block

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By *unandlaughter69Couple
over a year ago

Boston

We simple replt "It's a polite no thanks'.

Unless we get a message from chancers, mainly single males who can't be bothered to read our profile first, they just oggle our pics and then it's a simple block, a dozen a day is not unusual.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Generally say sorry but you'd not be my type, most are cool with it but other night I got the... You're nothing special you're just rude etc rant

To which I reply "why contact me then?" and either ignore or block future messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for putting this up we are going through the same. Been a big help!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Just say not for me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We say, you look like a lovely couple/person however not what we're looking for unfortunately, something along them lines then finish it off with "happy fabbing"

Her x

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By *hatterley64Couple
over a year ago

Hertford

We always reply because we feel it’s just good manners and just say thank you but not what we’re looking for and wish them happy fabbing. We do, however, find that people who don’t like our pics just blank us!

Not really sure what approach is kindest tbf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our faces are on the profile so we wouldn’t send one. When people send us theirs we are just honest and polite. Sorry you aren’t our type. Happy fabbing.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I say "Thank you for sending a face pic but unfortunately you're not my type.

For this reason I do not like chatting without a face pic first

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I say "Thank you for sending a face pic but unfortunately you're not my type."

Then block them if they start with the "I wouldn't touch with a barge pole" or similar rubbish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry but your not quite my type..happy fabbing

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Not our cup of tea, all the best!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I never say happy fabbing or good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are zillions of threads on here where men insist that they should have a polite decline and that this would make them infinitely happier than their message being deleted... So that is what I write back,a simple "polite decline", all 2 words of it....

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By *uzboxCouple
over a year ago

Northwich

Quite frankly we are past the point of "politely" declining. So fed up of getting messages from people who still think it ok to meet! I think we will just start replying back with equal contempt for them as they must have for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just say sorry your not for us. But happy fabbing

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"So that is what I write back,a simple "polite decline", all 2 words of it...."

Brilliant

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