FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Straight, not looking for TV

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The vast majority of my messages (I get a lot), views and fabs are from guys whose profile state straight and looking for women/couples only.

Now I don't mind, I appreciate most feel the need to hide their proclivities here due to negative feelings (by some) towards anything other than the 100% straight male persona, but it does make me feel a little down that in this day and age people still feel a stigma towards certain things.

What do you think? That's a question for other TVs, for guys, and for women who don't realise just how many men are messaging TVs whilst projecting an image of straight conformity.

(I'm not shaming here btw, I know it's not easy to open and say fuck it, I like who I like, everyone is on their own journey).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't put TV/TS because it's a broad category and I'm only passively interested in one small corner of it. And if I do set TV/TS I get messages all day from cross-dressing men

I agree, there's a lot of stigma. But Fabs is designed to perpetuate that stigma (consciously or unconsciously), and that's a much bigger problem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/20 16:41:39]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't put TV/TS because it's a broad category and I'm only passively interested in one small corner of it. And if I do set TV/TS I get messages all day from cross-dressing men

I agree, there's a lot of stigma. But Fabs is designed to perpetuate that stigma (consciously or unconsciously), and that's a much bigger problem."

It's a broad category for sure, at times I think it'd be better for a wider range of identities to choose from but the conversation around that has been done to death and I kinda agree that it is what it is.

It didn't occur to me that listing an interest in TVs would result in messages from 'HPWs' (or those who aren't as keen to present fully femme), I can understand that being a reason to be more discreet about it; it's simpler to not list and just message those you like, I suppose.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/20 16:43:23]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm having a nightmare of bad typos today, pls excuse the deleted posts :/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a broad category for sure, at times I think it'd be better for a wider range of identities to choose from but the conversation around that has been done to death and I kinda agree that it is what it is.

It didn't occur to me that listing an interest in TVs would result in messages from 'HPWs' (or those who aren't as keen to present fully femme), I can understand that being a reason to be more discreet about it; it's simpler to not list and just message those you like, I suppose."

It's not really discreet - I'm attracted to women, and trans women are women. Except on Fabs, where trans women are forced to share a category with part-time cross-dressers (nothing wrong with cross-dressers but it's as broad as putting all couples in the same category).

It is what it is, and what it is, is shit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I don't put TV/TS because it's a broad category and I'm only passively interested in one small corner of it. And if I do set TV/TS I get messages all day from cross-dressing men

I agree, there's a lot of stigma. But Fabs is designed to perpetuate that stigma (consciously or unconsciously), and that's a much bigger problem.

It's a broad category for sure, at times I think it'd be better for a wider range of identities to choose from but the conversation around that has been done to death and I kinda agree that it is what it is.

It didn't occur to me that listing an interest in TVs would result in messages from 'HPWs' (or those who aren't as keen to present fully femme), I can understand that being a reason to be more discreet about it; it's simpler to not list and just message those you like, I suppose."
but we have to remember that all categories on here are broad ranging , different types sizes height ( 6ft+ for me lol ) ages effort to look good in men women and couples too so we have to trawl through the hundreds of messages from these so called straight guys on here cos I'm sure like me you wouldn't entertain any man that asked

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *achel SmythTV/TS
over a year ago

Farnborough

I also notice that on a number of profiles there are verifications from TVs that some profiles omit to show.

I fully understand we are perhaps not to many people’s liking, and there is perhaps a stigma to admitting attraction for ‘special jobs of ladies’ and indeed in wider society there is significantly more acceptance of the LGB than there is to the T part of that!

R xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a broad category for sure, at times I think it'd be better for a wider range of identities to choose from but the conversation around that has been done to death and I kinda agree that it is what it is.

It didn't occur to me that listing an interest in TVs would result in messages from 'HPWs' (or those who aren't as keen to present fully femme), I can understand that being a reason to be more discreet about it; it's simpler to not list and just message those you like, I suppose.

It's not really discreet - I'm attracted to women, and trans women are women. Except on Fabs, where trans women are forced to share a category with part-time cross-dressers (nothing wrong with cross-dressers but it's as broad as putting all couples in the same category).

It is what it is, and what it is, is shit."

I'll happily admit I'm a part time crossdresser/TV (although I identify more as a TV/Tgirl than a xdresser). Part time doesn't have to mean unconvincing, although I appreciate that's not what you may mean.

I'm part time in that I don't live 24/7 as a woman, but when I do I like to be convincing and dress fully, certainly no unsightly hair

(No kink shaming intended on those who like a bit of hair, or those who are hairy but just like to pull on some knickers every now and then )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I also notice that on a number of profiles there are verifications from TVs that some profiles omit to show.

I fully understand we are perhaps not to many people’s liking, and there is perhaps a stigma to admitting attraction for ‘special jobs of ladies’ and indeed in wider society there is significantly more acceptance of the LGB than there is to the T part of that!

R xx"
yes I've noticed this a lot and I won't meet them ,I'm not happy being someone's shameful secret,a lot of men tell me that women won't meet them if they have been with a tvts I just shake my head lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!"

Agree, same as me. My block list is mainly so big because there is not a category specific for trans women and I just don't want to see some of those profiles that may be CD, for example.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I don't show any of my notifications from TS or women, which is my choice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atBottomGirlsWoman
over a year ago

St Austell-ish

Strange, it looks like I'm the first cis woman to respond here?

I completely get the part of feeling down that the stigma still exists.

This is my thought:

Those of us "of a certain age" grew up with anything non heterosexual being, well, not necessarily bad, but way out of the norm. Everyone KNEW someone's cousin's friend had a gay brother, and it might have been accepted, but was still quietly discussed at any opportunity. Fast forward 30, 40 years, and the LGB community is so much more visible. Trans is the "new" LGB. ie, the TQ+ is there, but too strange for some to comprehend.

I think the problem comes from 1-the stigma out there that forces anyone who is trans from being as open about it as they should be able to be and 2-because of this, few people know anyone who is trans (that they are aware of). It's crazy.

I have 2 kids. Both are gay, one is trans. My son (trans) and I got to be friends with a coworker of mine at the same time; she is accepting but keeps asking me questions about how that actually works. Now, it's good that she's asking, but it makes me realize that so many people really are clueless about what it means to be a transgender person.

To be honest, I am fairly new to having a son, myself, and still feel an idiot asking questions.

Regarding your original question--I think people tend to assume what they already know, and don't ask more than they might be comfortable with.

I hope none of this comes across as offensive, not my intention. Please correct me if need be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I've never really thought of putting TV etc as a preference. Since being on here though I defiantly feel that I could be with a trans woman. I am 100% straight but there is something about a trans woman that I find quite sensual but it all defends on the person themselves x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Strange, it looks like I'm the first cis woman to respond here?

I completely get the part of feeling down that the stigma still exists.

This is my thought:

Those of us "of a certain age" grew up with anything non heterosexual being, well, not necessarily bad, but way out of the norm. Everyone KNEW someone's cousin's friend had a gay brother, and it might have been accepted, but was still quietly discussed at any opportunity. Fast forward 30, 40 years, and the LGB community is so much more visible. Trans is the "new" LGB. ie, the TQ+ is there, but too strange for some to comprehend.

I think the problem comes from 1-the stigma out there that forces anyone who is trans from being as open about it as they should be able to be and 2-because of this, few people know anyone who is trans (that they are aware of). It's crazy.

I have 2 kids. Both are gay, one is trans. My son (trans) and I got to be friends with a coworker of mine at the same time; she is accepting but keeps asking me questions about how that actually works. Now, it's good that she's asking, but it makes me realize that so many people really are clueless about what it means to be a transgender person.

To be honest, I am fairly new to having a son, myself, and still feel an idiot asking questions.

Regarding your original question--I think people tend to assume what they already know, and don't ask more than they might be comfortable with.

I hope none of this comes across as offensive, not my intention. Please correct me if need be.

"

You don't come across as offensive at all, your input is welcome and thought provoking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"Strange, it looks like I'm the first cis woman to respond here?

I completely get the part of feeling down that the stigma still exists.

This is my thought:

Those of us "of a certain age" grew up with anything non heterosexual being, well, not necessarily bad, but way out of the norm. Everyone KNEW someone's cousin's friend had a gay brother, and it might have been accepted, but was still quietly discussed at any opportunity. Fast forward 30, 40 years, and the LGB community is so much more visible. Trans is the "new" LGB. ie, the TQ+ is there, but too strange for some to comprehend.

I think the problem comes from 1-the stigma out there that forces anyone who is trans from being as open about it as they should be able to be and 2-because of this, few people know anyone who is trans (that they are aware of). It's crazy.

I have 2 kids. Both are gay, one is trans. My son (trans) and I got to be friends with a coworker of mine at the same time; she is accepting but keeps asking me questions about how that actually works. Now, it's good that she's asking, but it makes me realize that so many people really are clueless about what it means to be a transgender person.

To be honest, I am fairly new to having a son, myself, and still feel an idiot asking questions.

Regarding your original question--I think people tend to assume what they already know, and don't ask more than they might be comfortable with.

I hope none of this comes across as offensive, not my intention. Please correct me if need be.

You don't come across as offensive at all, your input is welcome and thought provoking "
so ..... What thoughts are being provoked for you ? ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I get this a lot.

I challenge these messages and normally get the line about women not being interested in bi men, so I'm secretly bi.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I get this a lot.

I challenge these messages and normally get the line about women not being interested in bi men, so I'm secretly bi.

"
I'm more than often told that women don't like tvts and refuse to meet a man who has met such , I do wonder why tho but a few guys said us tgirls have something women don't do I don't know and I don't ask these days cos I can't stand labels

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a bi female and TV couple. Certainly not to everyone’s taste but the majority of fabs we receive on Abby’s pics are from straight guys.

It doesn’t bother her. She has a solo profile and is inundated with requests from straight guys who want to meet her.

My viewpoint is different. As her partner I’m protective. When a couple message us and the husband is listed as straight, I challenge as to why they’re interested. The answer is always the same. “He’s bi really and loves TV’s but can’t put it on our profile. It puts people off”

My tolerance for this is zero especially when you know that if they met you in a club they’d blank you.

As far as I’m concerned they don’t deserve to meet her. She’s way to good!

Miss V

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"I do wonder why tho but a few guys said us tgirls have something women don't do"

It's a mystery.

I've certainly had an ex girlfriend who was as cock sucking and anal wanting as I am, so it can't be that...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"We are a bi female and TV couple. Certainly not to everyone’s taste but the majority of fabs we receive on Abby’s pics are from straight guys.

It doesn’t bother her. She has a solo profile and is inundated with requests from straight guys who want to meet her.

My viewpoint is different. As her partner I’m protective. When a couple message us and the husband is listed as straight, I challenge as to why they’re interested. The answer is always the same. “He’s bi really and loves TV’s but can’t put it on our profile. It puts people off”

My tolerance for this is zero especially when you know that if they met you in a club they’d blank you.

As far as I’m concerned they don’t deserve to meet her. She’s way to good!

Miss V

"
fabulous post and I totally get where you both are coming from , ok behind closed doors but they find it too shameful to admit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I do wonder why tho but a few guys said us tgirls have something women don't do

It's a mystery.

I've certainly had an ex girlfriend who was as cock sucking and anal wanting as I am, so it can't be that...

"
but your gf didn't have a cock in panties tho

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are a bi female and TV couple. Certainly not to everyone’s taste but the majority of fabs we receive on Abby’s pics are from straight guys.

It doesn’t bother her. She has a solo profile and is inundated with requests from straight guys who want to meet her.

My viewpoint is different. As her partner I’m protective. When a couple message us and the husband is listed as straight, I challenge as to why they’re interested. The answer is always the same. “He’s bi really and loves TV’s but can’t put it on our profile. It puts people off”

My tolerance for this is zero especially when you know that if they met you in a club they’d blank you.

As far as I’m concerned they don’t deserve to meet her. She’s way to good!

Miss V

fabulous post and I totally get where you both are coming from , ok behind closed doors but they find it too shameful to admit "

Thank you lovely.

Exactly that. They don’t deserve my gorgeous girl!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"I do wonder why tho but a few guys said us tgirls have something women don't do

It's a mystery.

I've certainly had an ex girlfriend who was as cock sucking and anal wanting as I am, so it can't be that...

but your gf didn't have a cock in panties tho "

Yeah... that's happened a lot with meets.

They agreed based on me doing the girl work, which is what I'm into and then it's 'ooh, what a lush 7"! Can I suck, you do me etc...'

So annoying.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I do wonder why tho but a few guys said us tgirls have something women don't do

It's a mystery.

I've certainly had an ex girlfriend who was as cock sucking and anal wanting as I am, so it can't be that...

but your gf didn't have a cock in panties tho

Yeah... that's happened a lot with meets.

They agreed based on me doing the girl work, which is what I'm into and then it's 'ooh, what a lush 7"! Can I suck, you do me etc...'

So annoying.

"
I find this with all my bisexual tgirl friends , like to keep the cock for the ladies lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"

I find this with all my bisexual tgirl friends , like to keep the cock for the ladies lol "

Which again presents the question... what is the difference?

Is it the lack of foreplay? The fact that anal is always the main event?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"

I find this with all my bisexual tgirl friends , like to keep the cock for the ladies lol

Which again presents the question... what is the difference?

Is it the lack of foreplay? The fact that anal is always the main event?

"
not at all , there's much more to sex than anal sex , if you really need telling what the differences can be then perhaps stick to what you are used to , I'm not indulging on an open forum sorry

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich


"The vast majority of my messages (I get a lot), views and fabs are from guys whose profile state straight and looking for women/couples only.

Now I don't mind, I appreciate most feel the need to hide their proclivities here due to negative feelings (by some) towards anything other than the 100% straight male persona, but it does make me feel a little down that in this day and age people still feel a stigma towards certain things.

What do you think? That's a question for other TVs, for guys, and for women who don't realise just how many men are messaging TVs whilst projecting an image of straight conformity.

(I'm not shaming here btw, I know it's not easy to open and say fuck it, I like who I like, everyone is on their own journey)."

Personally I wouldn’t and don’t have a problem with fab straight guys meeting TVs. It is a shame that they feel the need to lie about their sexuality though. I just wish that more people could just be a bit less judgmental and instead try to accept not everyone is the same. That’s what makes life interesting.

I am much more interested in those people that are open and honest with themselves and others. Sadly they are few and far between.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

To get the root of this you'd have to ask all those couples who stipulate no bi guys. As guys aren't outwardly bad advertising for fear of offending that lot.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"To get the root of this you'd have to ask all those couples who stipulate no bi guys. As guys aren't outwardly bad advertising for fear of offending that lot.

"
if someone is offended by your sexualality are they really worth your time ?? So so so many men are being bullied into fitting into what such people are wanting , men on here are scared to death admitting they meet tgirls and I for one won't give them my time cos I don't want to be anyone's dirty shameful little secret !!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

If I said I won't be meet men who visit BBW I would be slaughtered on the forums , what is the difference plz tell me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ionaScarletTV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"To get the root of this you'd have to ask all those couples who stipulate no bi guys. As guys aren't outwardly bad advertising for fear of offending that lot.

if someone is offended by your sexualality are they really worth your time ?? So so so many men are being bullied into fitting into what such people are wanting , men on here are scared to death admitting they meet tgirls and I for one won't give them my time cos I don't want to be anyone's dirty shameful little secret !!! "

I used to be a lot more sanguine about this, but you know what? I think you're dead on there! New resolution... no more sleeping with "straight" guys. They're usually crap in bed anyways

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urocougarCouple
over a year ago

watton

We won’t meet any guy who hides his sexuality and says he is fab straight there are plenty of bi guys and bi couples and lush Tv/cd and TS girls for us to meet without those who hide behind there mask xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"To get the root of this you'd have to ask all those couples who stipulate no bi guys. As guys aren't outwardly bad advertising for fear of offending that lot.

if someone is offended by your sexualality are they really worth your time ?? So so so many men are being bullied into fitting into what such people are wanting , men on here are scared to death admitting they meet tgirls and I for one won't give them my time cos I don't want to be anyone's dirty shameful little secret !!!

I used to be a lot more sanguine about this, but you know what? I think you're dead on there! New resolution... no more sleeping with "straight" guys. They're usually crap in bed anyways "
ha yes well said , there usually only used to fucking women and can't ya tell ! Loly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

I get a lot of attention from men, TV, TS and CD and I don't ever seek it.

I often wonder to myself: "Why on earth are they messaging me when there is a gay section? Surely it's common sense to message a gay man." But in reality, it's not that clear cut. A lot of gay men are seeking straight men. It's paradoxical really. Everyone wants something which they can't have.

Most straight men on here who I know are looking for a hot woman who loves sex who is happy without a relationship - it's very rare, and when it is found, the buzz fades.

Anyway, to get to the point, I do and will chat with TV/CD, etc. Not because I'm into them sexually, but I find them interesting. They're usually well humoured and have interesting points of view.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"I get a lot of attention from men, TV, TS and CD and I don't ever seek it.

I often wonder to myself: "Why on earth are they messaging me when there is a gay section? Surely it's common sense to message a gay man." But in reality, it's not that clear cut. A lot of gay men are seeking straight men. It's paradoxical really. Everyone wants something which they can't have.

Most straight men on here who I know are looking for a hot woman who loves sex who is happy without a relationship - it's very rare, and when it is found, the buzz fades.

Anyway, to get to the point, I do and will chat with TV/CD, etc. Not because I'm into them sexually, but I find them interesting. They're usually well humoured and have interesting points of view."
it's seems a bit like any tvts should be grateful for any male admiration cos we are freaks right ? Most men don't realise that we are highly prized and get more male admiration than one person can deal with usually , we are unique we are exotic and many men want to be with us , so we don't need good will gestures to feel appreciated , it happens for us all day every day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"To get the root of this you'd have to ask all those couples who stipulate no bi guys. As guys aren't outwardly bad advertising for fear of offending that lot.

if someone is offended by your sexualality are they really worth your time ?? So so so many men are being bullied into fitting into what such people are wanting , men on here are scared to death admitting they meet tgirls and I for one won't give them my time cos I don't want to be anyone's dirty shameful little secret !!!

I used to be a lot more sanguine about this, but you know what? I think you're dead on there! New resolution... no more sleeping with "straight" guys. They're usually crap in bed anyways "

This ...

Straight guys can often be experimenting with their sexuality on here. So you’re right about them being crap in bed. Or even worse once they’ve finished and realise what they’ve done, get violent or abusive as they quickly get their stuff together.

That’s why it makes me laugh, when straight guys come on these forums and claim they’re inundated with gay, bi or tgirls endlessly contacting them, especially when you see they’re nothing special.

I know a few genuine admirers who are on this site, they know what to do in bed, understand that occasionally a wig could fall off (it happens the illusion can disappear sometimes) especially if you’re quite passionate whilst having sex. But most of all know that there’s two of you, so once finished will concentrate on ensuring you’re satisfied as well,

Give me a well experienced admirer over an inexperienced confused ‘fab straight’ beginner any day of the week.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"so ..... What thoughts are being provoked for you ? ? "

I found the viewpoint of a parent a welcome contribution.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thinking on this more, I do believe trans women (that is, those who are transitioning, or who have transitioned) are women, so I can understand straight men being attracted to them; I would never want to deny the gender of trans people

I don't identify as trans though, I'm a TV/Tgirl/pervert, whatever, and try to make that clear in my profile and communications.

Again, at the end it's just a bit of a downer that people feel they can't be open about their desires. It's a result of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, imo.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think at the end of the day the problem is that we're trying to equate categories of sexuality to a spectrum of gender (sexuality is also a spectrum, but I digress).

It would be silly for me to put my sexuality as bi - I find some women attractive, a few people marked TV/TS on fabs attractive, and no men attractive.

Could I find a man attractive? Well, never say never. But it hasn't happened, unless you count biosex men presenting as women realistically enough that I'm attracted to them as women.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agree, same as me. My block list is mainly so big because there is not a category specific for trans women and I just don't want to see some of those profiles that may be CD, for example."

This is an interesting approach, so as an experiment I did a search for TV/TS within 20 miles of me. And the number of CD overwhelmingly outweighs the number of TS.

I am attracted to some women, whether or not they have a cock. But the TV/TS category just doesn't align with what I'm interested in.

(FWIW I block women that refuse to meet men that have met TV/TS because it's a huge red flag to me)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, sometimes you don't know for sure whether they are trans, TV or CD until you visit a profile. A visit to your profile doesn't mean I like you, as with anybody else visiting a profile.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Deffinatly needs more options. As someone who is turned on by femininity, I love girls and trans girls. I've put straight on my profile, as I'd put myself in the "nearly straight" catogory. Have been turned down by straight females when they find out. Just hope people can see, it's about when l meet you, not about who I've been with. Tbh, if someone doesn't like ts, I probably wouldn't meet them. After all, if this old guy can get his head round it, others shouldn't have a problem. It's 2020,and we live in a new world

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!"

Sorry for sounding very ignorant but you like women with cocks or post op? Do you like them because they can do anal with you? I do get very confused by when straight men say they will sleep with TS?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!

Sorry for sounding very ignorant but you like women with cocks or post op? Do you like them because they can do anal with you? I do get very confused by when straight men say they will sleep with TS? "

Some women have penises. Get over it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I encouraged a man to state bisexuality on his profile, after a bit of private discussion!

Be true to yourself, first and foremost!

.. I can understand and appreciate, that other men want the discretion and I feel its their right too x

Sorry I'm a bit of a fence-sitter with this topic...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Deffinatly needs more options. As someone who is turned on by femininity, I love girls and trans girls. I've put straight on my profile, as I'd put myself in the "nearly straight" catogory. Have been turned down by straight females when they find out. Just hope people can see, it's about when l meet you, not about who I've been with. Tbh, if someone doesn't like ts, I probably wouldn't meet them. After all, if this old guy can get his head round it, others shouldn't have a problem. It's 2020,and we live in a new world "

I think I prefer men to tell me straight they sleep with men, if they had anal. As I like bi men who interested in other men, not TS. I like to have a threesome with two men. But not a TS and a straight man

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!

Sorry for sounding very ignorant but you like women with cocks or post op? Do you like them because they can do anal with you? I do get very confused by when straight men say they will sleep with TS?

Some women have penises. Get over it "

Its difficult for a woman to 'get over it' when all their life they used to only knowing women with no penises, get periods, have babies etc. not helpful comment tbf. How can people be educated with that blunt comment?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like trans girls yet I consider myself straight (make what you will of that..), and I'm very clear and upfront about that on my profile. The upshot of that is:

Yes, I get (unwelcome) messages from hairy guys in their wives pants (bleeuggh..)

Yes, cisgender women generally don't like it (there's a few exceptions)

That said, it is what it is, so I'm pretty happy to be honest and upfront about my sexuality. It's 2020!

Sorry for sounding very ignorant but you like women with cocks or post op? Do you like them because they can do anal with you? I do get very confused by when straight men say they will sleep with TS?

Some women have penises. Get over it

Its difficult for a woman to 'get over it' when all their life they used to only knowing women with no penises, get periods, have babies etc. not helpful comment tbf. How can people be educated with that blunt comment?"

Haven't we all grown up in that world? I agree that education is important, along with increased awareness in modern society, and lack of it is where ignorance can arise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all here to learn people!

Questions will be asked.

Well to discussions and debate!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are all here to learn people!

Questions will be asked.

Well to discussions and debate!

"

Why the rolling eyes smiley then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are all here to learn people!

Questions will be asked.

Well to discussions and debate!

Why the rolling eyes smiley then?"

Shit my spelling mistake too

Welcome....

Doesn't help if peeps can't ask questions.

Sometimes in serious threads 'humour' is lost.

Anyway enough about me, back to the thread!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley


"Deffinatly needs more options. As someone who is turned on by femininity, I love girls and trans girls. I've put straight on my profile, as I'd put myself in the "nearly straight" catogory. Have been turned down by straight females when they find out. Just hope people can see, it's about when l meet you, not about who I've been with. Tbh, if someone doesn't like ts, I probably wouldn't meet them. After all, if this old guy can get his head round it, others shouldn't have a problem. It's 2020,and we live in a new world

I think I prefer men to tell me straight they sleep with men, if they had anal. As I like bi men who interested in other men, not TS. I like to have a threesome with two men. But not a TS and a straight man"

I do make it very clear, pic's etc,in a message to any prospective partner, exactly what makes me tick. Some people say I'm bisexual, but I just don't fancy guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"We are all here to learn people!

Questions will be asked.

Well to discussions and debate!

Why the rolling eyes smiley then?"

in Miss defense, rolling eyes.. means 'thinking' expression. Me and Miss use it alot of forums.

But yes transgender world is totally new to me. I thought this post would be great way for TS to share their thoughts as I'm genuinely interested. And how straight men feel about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

[Removed by poster at 04/07/20 10:42:47]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Deffinatly needs more options. As someone who is turned on by femininity, I love girls and trans girls. I've put straight on my profile, as I'd put myself in the "nearly straight" catogory. Have been turned down by straight females when they find out. Just hope people can see, it's about when l meet you, not about who I've been with. Tbh, if someone doesn't like ts, I probably wouldn't meet them. After all, if this old guy can get his head round it, others shouldn't have a problem. It's 2020,and we live in a new world

I think I prefer men to tell me straight they sleep with men, if they had anal. As I like bi men who interested in other men, not TS. I like to have a threesome with two men. But not a TS and a straight man"

Jas, what if the bi men weren't honest about meeting tvs and they had no veris stating that - would that be a deal breaker if you found out?

I've always wanted to know how other fems think in this scenario!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I think I prefer men to tell me straight they sleep with men, if they had anal"

This sounds like you don't see trans women as women, maybe I've misinterpreted? (You may have been explicitly referring to men sleeping with people who identify as male, if so, apologies).

Also, why does anal make a difference?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its difficult for a woman to 'get over it' when all their life they used to only knowing women with no penises, get periods, have babies etc. not helpful comment tbf. How can people be educated with that blunt comment?"

I'm not convinced you're looking for an education, and it's anyway not our responsibility to educate you.

Imagine if I said "Sorry but I don't get it why would women be having sex with other people if they should all be in the kitchen serving their families?". What reaction would you have to that - a good opportunity to educate someone? Unlikely.

There's a whole internet of information out there - FAQs, shared experiences, etc. If you actively want to learn, go seek it out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loria JamesTV/TS
over a year ago

Durham

This is always a minefield. The TV/CD section is so broad, it covers people who have fully transitioned across to a hairy guy who wears his wife's knickers.

If you are looking to meet it is still no different, as presumably you would still be selective when looking at females profiles .

I do find it strange when TVs complain that guys don't own up to being bi when they themselves aren't "out".

My advice would be ignore the label and look at the person. If it's a fit then go for it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is always a minefield. The TV/CD section is so broad, it covers people who have fully transitioned across to a hairy guy who wears his wife's knickers.

If you are looking to meet it is still no different, as presumably you would still be selective when looking at females profiles .

I do find it strange when TVs complain that guys don't own up to being bi when they themselves aren't "out".

My advice would be ignore the label and look at the person. If it's a fit then go for it."

I agree with this, just be who you are. Plus many trans females on here are only looking for straight men, because they consider themselves women and straight (as do I).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its difficult for a woman to 'get over it' when all their life they used to only knowing women with no penises, get periods, have babies etc. not helpful comment tbf. How can people be educated with that blunt comment?

I'm not convinced you're looking for an education, and it's anyway not our responsibility to educate you.

Imagine if I said "Sorry but I don't get it why would women be having sex with other people if they should all be in the kitchen serving their families?". What reaction would you have to that - a good opportunity to educate someone? Unlikely.

There's a whole internet of information out there - FAQs, shared experiences, etc. If you actively want to learn, go seek it out."

I don't mind teaching anyone or if they want advice.

That's if my insight with having a male bi partner who plays with tvs/ts/cd's is relevant to anyone wanting to learn....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not many females join these types of threads.... I wonder why

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line. "

I guess appearance is still important, regardless of sexuality; a genetic woman who has a beard like ZZ Top may not appeal to a straight identifying man (or a gay woman, for that matter) because they don't conform to the ideal of femininity that we've built up.

In short, self identifying is one thing, but you still need to physically present to a certain standard, it seems.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/20 15:27:43]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not saying that's right btw, mearly remarking on how it is :/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line.

I guess appearance is still important, regardless of sexuality; a genetic woman who has a beard like ZZ Top may not appeal to a straight identifying man (or a gay woman, for that matter) because they don't conform to the ideal of femininity that we've built up.

In short, self identifying is one thing, but you still need to physically present to a certain standard, it seems."

I understand the logic there, it just always strikes me as a little odd. When people say they're attracted to TS people, but only when they represent a stereotyped view of that gender. =)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The vast majority of my messages (I get a lot), views and fabs are from guys whose profile state straight and looking for women/couples only.

Now I don't mind, I appreciate most feel the need to hide their proclivities here due to negative feelings (by some) towards anything other than the 100% straight male persona, but it does make me feel a little down that in this day and age people still feel a stigma towards certain things.

What do you think? That's a question for other TVs, for guys, and for women who don't realise just how many men are messaging TVs whilst projecting an image of straight conformity.

(I'm not shaming here btw, I know it's not easy to open and say fuck it, I like who I like, everyone is on their own journey)."

I think it’s nobody’s business but theirs. And if it sincerely bothers you then maybe refuse to meet or reply to them ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line.

I guess appearance is still important, regardless of sexuality; a genetic woman who has a beard like ZZ Top may not appeal to a straight identifying man (or a gay woman, for that matter) because they don't conform to the ideal of femininity that we've built up.

In short, self identifying is one thing, but you still need to physically present to a certain standard, it seems.

I understand the logic there, it just always strikes me as a little odd. When people say they're attracted to TS people, but only when they represent a stereotyped view of that gender. =) "

It's odd indeed; perhaps these people should say they're attracted to 'the female form' (or something, gah that's not a good example). As in, the projection of femininity.

I don't know where I'm going with this :/

TL;dr I think people get hung up on gender too much, if you're attracted to the person, go for it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The vast majority of my messages (I get a lot), views and fabs are from guys whose profile state straight and looking for women/couples only.

Now I don't mind, I appreciate most feel the need to hide their proclivities here due to negative feelings (by some) towards anything other than the 100% straight male persona, but it does make me feel a little down that in this day and age people still feel a stigma towards certain things.

What do you think? That's a question for other TVs, for guys, and for women who don't realise just how many men are messaging TVs whilst projecting an image of straight conformity.

(I'm not shaming here btw, I know it's not easy to open and say fuck it, I like who I like, everyone is on their own journey).

I think it’s nobody’s business but theirs. And if it sincerely bothers you then maybe refuse to meet or reply to them ?"

It doesn't bother me, I just thought it a topic worthy of discussion. I refuse to meet or reply to many people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line.

I guess appearance is still important, regardless of sexuality; a genetic woman who has a beard like ZZ Top may not appeal to a straight identifying man (or a gay woman, for that matter) because they don't conform to the ideal of femininity that we've built up.

In short, self identifying is one thing, but you still need to physically present to a certain standard, it seems.

I understand the logic there, it just always strikes me as a little odd. When people say they're attracted to TS people, but only when they represent a stereotyped view of that gender. =) "

Nothing to do with stereotype, I either find the person attractive or I don't. Just like how some women prefer a big muscular guy compared to someone slim like me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

I like to present as feminine as I can, although that presentation may not be to everyone's taste.

I identify as a bisexual male who likes to dress for sex, I have had sex with a man whilst in male mode but I've found the dressing is too important to me.

I don't meet guys who claim to be straight, as has been said, I'm not someone's dirty little secret.

It takes a lot of work to get ready so I want someone who appreciates it.

My partner & I now don't have penetrative sex, she gets that elsewhere, so it's anal only for me now - which is as She wishes.

So, I'm not wasting my time & here on guys who aren't bi.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line.

I guess appearance is still important, regardless of sexuality; a genetic woman who has a beard like ZZ Top may not appeal to a straight identifying man (or a gay woman, for that matter) because they don't conform to the ideal of femininity that we've built up.

In short, self identifying is one thing, but you still need to physically present to a certain standard, it seems.

I understand the logic there, it just always strikes me as a little odd. When people say they're attracted to TS people, but only when they represent a stereotyped view of that gender. =)

Nothing to do with stereotype, I either find the person attractive or I don't. Just like how some women prefer a big muscular guy compared to someone slim like me."

And that's normal for everyone, to have preferences. You do you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is an interesting thread.

The one thing that sticks out to me is when men say they're into TS people but not men in dresses, or hairy men in panties etc.

If anyone can identify however they like, surely all it would take is for anyone of those people to say "I'm a woman" and then they're TS, but of course not every trans person chooses to change the way they look since it's about the way they identify on the inside.

So where do you draw the line. "

Honestly, no line needs to be drawn. We created gender and sexuality categories and I would much prefer that we destroyed them again too (lots of reasons this isn't practical, mind).

We don't actually NEED to have rigid categories on a swingers site. Tag your profile up with whatever you identify with and enjoy, then search by categories too. Then implement a two-way like system (like tinder) to cut down on excessive amounts of messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them "

Labels...

Its just a human trait.

A difficult one to let go!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them

Labels...

Its just a human trait.

A difficult one to let go!

"
We dont like to label ourselves (even tho you have to on profiles) live and let live... swinging can open many avenues ...its just nice to be open minded

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them "

But some people won’t meet smokers , is this not labelling people , it’s a preference, we have labels in ALL our life’s , just a shame people cannot tell the truth , I’m gay and the messages I get from straight men on here just proves not everyone is what they seem to be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

For me, being a girl and then a woman has been bloody hard. Sexual abuse, stereotyping, society's rules. Bloody exhausting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But some people won’t meet smokers , is this not labelling people , it’s a preference, we have labels in ALL our life’s , just a shame people cannot tell the truth , I’m gay and the messages I get from straight men on here just proves not everyone is what they seem to be "

Lots of men that have sex with other men identify as straight. For some, that's because they're still experimenting with their sexuality (and may identify as bi/gay later in life), for others they don't see themselves as bi/homoromantic and as such still identify as straight.

Bullying people out of the closet does nobody any favours.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them

Labels...

Its just a human trait.

A difficult one to let go!

We dont like to label ourselves (even tho you have to on profiles) live and let live... swinging can open many avenues ...its just nice to be open minded "

Open minded people on here

Rare!

Such a shame

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it mad how people (not meaning anyone in particular) feel the need to label and judge and box people into things.

Live and let live is my motto, however someone views themselves is up to them

But some people won’t meet smokers , is this not labelling people , it’s a preference, we have labels in ALL our life’s , just a shame people cannot tell the truth , I’m gay and the messages I get from straight men on here just proves not everyone is what they seem to be "

Could it only be fantasy talk - all in the mind, a quick fix moment. Or are they really prepared to meet and act it out!

If so is the 'all talk' still perceived as being bi or gay!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top