FabSwingers.com forum: Free Sex

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Hey, I'm no prude and love sex like most fabbers. But I need that connection and sexual desire. Majority of random messages I get seem like Im offering an instant free sex service. Like "here's my needs, give it to me now" attitude in initial conversations. If they think it's a turn on, then Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It just doesn't work on me, regardless how sexy looking they are. I even have to add it to my profile to remind people who read profiles, blunt sex intro isn't way to seduce

Do other people get this too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

probably to do with no avatar photo or just choosing the wrong woman.

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By *rincess and her MentorCouple
over a year ago

Windsor

Totally agree with needing a mental connection and sexual desire with someone

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside (West Oxfordshire)

The opening lines to a message we received last week:

Congratulations!

You have won a free orgasm. To collect your prize simply reply to this message....

No preamble, no introduction. Never spoken before. Just that.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

I’m with you, altho I understand it’s a sex site I still like the chat etc otherwise it just feels a bit prostitute ( without payment) lol

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I’m with you, altho I understand it’s a sex site I still like the chat etc otherwise it just feels a bit prostitute ( without payment) lol"

Great sex starts with great communication in my opinion. If they like that, I know the sex probably be all one sided

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Yep ... I just ignore

or block if the messages are more apt for elsewhere !!!

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By *urulovesnylonMan
over a year ago

Harrow

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

You me both mate!

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

You me both mate!"

again its your avatar photo. the best way to think is if i was on the recieving end, would i want to see a side of a head?

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By *opilotMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

There has to be a connection and even a spark to make you want to jump into bed with each other. Otherwise it would just be robotic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The opening lines to a message we received last week:

Congratulations!

You have won a free orgasm. To collect your prize simply reply to this message....

No preamble, no introduction. Never spoken before. Just that.

Is it possible it was a wee joke?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone sent me one yesterday that said if covid doesn't take you I will...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never mention sex in the first message, just a quick 'Hi', usually a compliment on their photo's and profile, and attach a couple of face & body pics.

I do ok, although that said, don't get much interaction with cisgender women as I'm pretty upfront that I also like trans girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get exactly the same , we are very selective and some couples get really annoyed or persistent about it

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I never mention sex in the first message, just a quick 'Hi', usually a compliment on their photo's and profile, and attach a couple of face & body pics.

I do ok, although that said, don't get much interaction with cisgender women as I'm pretty upfront that I also like trans girls. "

guys, if you're reading this... this is how you should talk to a woman.. AMEN

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By *he Jizz PlayerMan
over a year ago

Hatfield

There has to be a sense of connectivity for everyone and it is difficult to get that established if the first message is of the "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" standard.

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By *ensual massagerMan
over a year ago

Bolton

There will always be 'no reply' because, unlike guys on here, couples and girls get hammered with messages and admittedly, they quite rightly get their choice of guys. Also remember, some get to the maximum message limit so then become more choosy to answer to.

There is an important statement

You don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

Especially for the guys who are messaging. Make sure you read the profile of the person you're messaging. What's the point in messaging and asking where they are from. It's on their profile..

Don't send copy and paste messages. If the person you are messaging, don't put your phone number in, your kik or any other contact at the first instance. If the girl you're messaging states she cannot travel but can accommodate, don't say you can accommodate.

Don't just come out with dirty (you might say erotic) language messages especially on the first one as it's boring.

It also seems that there's a procedure that guys keep to

Like. Hi, how are you? Good weekend? Slept well. You're up early. Wuu2? When is the last time you had fun (insert there a variety of expletives)

Do you like my cock.. What do you think of my cock etc..

Sending these messages can be tedious.

Lots and lots more why you don't get replies but boring ones will definitely be binned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It gets pretty frustrating... Even though I refer to myself as a MILF on profile, as I way of saying I have a child. The amount of messages I get expecting me to open my legs there and then is ridiculous... Needless to say they get deleted straight away.

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By *harlotteBigBoobsWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I've received 3 messages this morning which read

"Ready for you now "

"Come fuck me ,empty house "

"Wanna fuck ?"

Just deleted them all

A hello would be nice

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"It gets pretty frustrating... Even though I refer to myself as a MILF on profile, as I way of saying I have a child. The amount of messages I get expecting me to open my legs there and then is ridiculous... Needless to say they get deleted straight away.

It's the "mum" bit creeps me out. I don't even have kids

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"There will always be 'no reply' because, unlike guys on here, couples and girls get hammered with messages and admittedly, they quite rightly get their choice of guys. Also remember, some get to the maximum message limit so then become more choosy to answer to.

There is an important statement

You don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

Especially for the guys who are messaging. Make sure you read the profile of the person you're messaging. What's the point in messaging and asking where they are from. It's on their profile..

Don't just come out with dirty (you might say erotic) language messages especially on the first one as it's boring.

It also seems that there's a procedure that guys keep to

Like. Hi, how are you? Good weekend? Slept well. You're up early. Wuu2? When is the last time you had fun (insert there a variety of expletives)

Do you like my cock.. What do you think of my cock etc..

Sending these messages can be tedious.

Lots and lots more why you don't get replies but boring ones will definitely be binned. "

plus no avatar photo or bio

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By *east88Couple
over a year ago

darlington

"Hey, I'm no prude and love sex like most fabbers. But I need that connection and sexual desire. Majority of random messages I get seem like Im offering an instant free sex service. Like "here's my needs, give it to me now" attitude in initial conversations. If they think it's a turn on, then Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It just doesn't work on me, regardless how sexy looking they are. I even have to add it to my profile to remind people who read profiles, blunt sex intro isn't way to seduce

Do other people get this too? "

Absolutely 100% why don’t men get this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the "mum" bit creeps me out. I don't even have kids

The longer I'm on here, the more I realise a good majority of men's social skills leave a lot to be desired...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m with you, altho I understand it’s a sex site I still like the chat etc otherwise it just feels a bit prostitute ( without payment) lol

Great sex starts with great communication in my opinion. If they like that, I know the sex probably be all one sided

Absolutely this. They have to get into my head before they can get into my knickers

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We see it all the time on profiles. "I'm looking for..." and that's it. That's their profile (with knob pic too, of course). I can imagine this is what their messages are like too. It's as if they are a charity.

Very often it's guys with this kind of profile who come onto the forum asking for profile help saying they aren't getting anywhere. I frequently write "You are not a charity".

I also advise them to post an example message of theirs so we can give feedback. I've only ever had one person take that advice, and sure enough he learned (and acknowledged) that he needed to change what he wrote. A lot of guys have absolutely no idea how bad their messages are and appear to want to stay ignorant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think to think my profile is short and sweet but says what it needs too...

The amount of men that miss the bit about sending a face pic and they're more likely to get a response and will then complain they don't get a response because they haven't inc said pic is mind boggling.

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

I think the lack of positive reinforcement is an issue. If you get no response from a well thought out message, and no response to a crude message, people don't learn - hence all the threads about what is the best opening message etc.

Having said that, I can describe the problem but I have no solution!

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

Do other people get this too? "

Yes all the time , demanding photos too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone sent me one yesterday that said if covid doesn't take you I will...

"
Oh dear were to start with that one

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By *attooBBWWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yep. Totally agree OP.

About 80% of messages I get are from guys who cba reading a profile and talk to you like you’re a street walker. It’s vile and I often call men out on it. I also hate when you get messages querying ‘availability’ like we have a booking system.

Like many women here, I’ve been offered money, gifts, trips etc in exchange for sex. They always get reported, but it really is like wading through treacle to find good guys on here that you have a connection with.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I think the lack of positive reinforcement is an issue. If you get no response from a well thought out message, and no response to a crude message, people don't learn - hence all the threads about what is the best opening message etc.

Having said that, I can describe the problem but I have no solution!"

In our experience it's extremely rare to get a good message from a single guy. It has happened with and we reply. However, just because somebody thinks they have written a good message it doesn't mean they actually have. The vast majority of messages we get from single guys are total rubbish and do not warrant a reply, yet they must think they are acceptable or why would they send it?

No effort from them = No effort from us.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Do other people get this too? "

Of course we do, the vast majority of messages I get treat me like a free, disposable fuck toy. All they want is a wet hole, what that wet hole wants is of no concern to them.

Thank fuck for the regular male posters on the forum, gives me hope that we are not entirely fucking up every generation.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

You me both mate!"

I get lots of polite messages treating me like a free sex worker.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Having said that, I can describe the problem but I have no solution!"

First, choose your fabber wizely. if she says she only enjoys big cocks and you haven't got one... skip unless you have other things she likes

secondly, have an decent avatar and some bio to read

thirdly, chat about eachothers profile in a respectful manner. keep it short, to the point but encouraging a conversation to start.

If she doesn't reply, it just means either she's too busy to answer the 100s of messages and your positive one got lost, she's at work or out shopping and get back to you in a bit or she's just not interested... then you move on and not send copy and paste continuous messages to try get her attention. twice is acceptable but 5 to 10 times... no

hope this helps?

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

Having said that, I can describe the problem but I have no solution!

First, choose your fabber wizely. if she says she only enjoys big cocks and you haven't got one... skip unless you have other things she likes

secondly, have an decent avatar and some bio to read

thirdly, chat about eachothers profile in a respectful manner. keep it short, to the point but encouraging a conversation to start.

hope this helps?

Just to clarify, I was talking about men in general, rather than myself!

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Fun needed

Balls need emptying

So horny, need a fuck

All amazing conversation openers..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like sex as much as the next person (it’s one of the reasons we are all here) but I don’t really care for cold sex. Even like this I want to fool around with someone I actually get along with, someone I want to stay and chat with after fucking senseless. Plus the better you know someone the better the sex tends to be and even in casual there’s nothing wrong with a bit of intimacy here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the time, after a polite introduction, don`t get a response back.

I think it might be just the fact that probably men inbox has only a few messages in, compared with women inbox which probably has around 500 messages to respond to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The opening lines to a message we received last week:

Congratulations!

You have won a free orgasm. To collect your prize simply reply to this message....

No preamble, no introduction. Never spoken before. Just that.

At least that was an attempt at humour. It can be difficult for single guys to get anywhere. At least you remembered it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had 'Amazing pics, let s breed!' this morning...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had 'Amazing pics, let s breed!' this morning...

Amazing pics let’s cuddle? X

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I'm with you OP. So much so that I made the first bit of my prof a homage to the usual messages I receive. But hey ho I still get the usual messages at 11.47pm asking am I free to meet tonight?

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By *969BewitchedWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yep, get them all the time. Sometimes I think guys assume us ladies sit around in our lingerie all day waiting for someone to just pop in for a quickie, usually they don't even have a single pic and the fill in later profile, then they wonder why we just delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand! This is a set site, so every woman on here should be grateful and be happy to open her legs for sex with anyone who contacts her in any way at all!

By the way, all of the above is sarcasm. We seem to have lost the art of conversation on this site. At the risk of sounding like a complete old fart, time was when the chat rooms were full of banter and people actually chatting to each other and having fun getting to know one another. Now it seems they are purely voyeuristic, but hey how, rant over.

We would never send a first message to someone simply saying 'Hi' or 'How are you?'. It's nice to tell a little about ourselves and get to know people as much as is possible before even suggesting a meet (post lockdown of course).

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By *attooBBWWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Most of the time, after a polite introduction, don`t get a response back.

I think it might be just the fact that probably men inbox has only a few messages in, compared with women inbox which probably has around 500 messages to respond to."

Depends what you consider a ‘polite introduction’ though! To 95% of fab men, that ‘polite introduction’ is ‘hows fab treating you? Much planned for the day?’

I’d much rather someone took the time to read my profile and personalise a message that I knew wasn’t a copy and paste spamathon in hope of a reply.

One of my major peeves is messages saying it know I’m not what you’re looking for but....’ or that old chestnut ‘thought I’d chance my luck’ both of which I find really rude. It’s basically saying ‘I know you won’t like me, but I like you and your opinion is irrelevant to me’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

Your profile doesn't do enough to attract replies, we just looked at it and we wouldn't reply either, as nothing draws us in.

Get a profile picture and a few public photos, doesnt have to be face and re think your write up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the time, after a polite introduction, don`t get a response back.

I think it might be just the fact that probably men inbox has only a few messages in, compared with women inbox which probably has around 500 messages to respond to.

Depends what you consider a ‘polite introduction’ though! To 95% of fab men, that ‘polite introduction’ is ‘hows fab treating you? Much planned for the day?’

I’d much rather someone took the time to read my profile and personalise a message that I knew wasn’t a copy and paste spamathon in hope of a reply.

I take time to read the profile and do not send messages to accounts without profile description or very brief description.

Usually, I introduce myself and try to start a conversation which relates to her profile or something in her profile pictures. I`m not sending messages to everyone on site, I`m trying to screen my favourites, but it seems I might still do something wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah even with my Domme edge!

You do know the warriors type with their penis', don't you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never mention sex in the first message, just a quick 'Hi', usually a compliment on their photo's and profile, and attach a couple of face & body pics.

I do ok, although that said, don't get much interaction with cisgender women as I'm pretty upfront that I also like trans girls. "

An honest gorgeous one!

Rare!

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By *riggs69Man
over a year ago

Swansea

[Removed by poster at 01/07/20 12:59:36]

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By *riggs69Man
over a year ago

Swansea

Hi I put in a message, Hi I am Steve and looking for a nice woman or couples for good fun and I am a nice guy with a gsoh and guneuin hope you get back soon thanks Steve xdo anyone think that's worng please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do other people get this too? "
100%. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup. The ones which annoy me the most are when you're on late at night and you get really crude personal questions from someone who's probably sent the same message to every other woman online and who's definitely wanking furiously.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Oh ye I get some of those messages as well especially at night or early in the morning. Usually from guys who are horny at the time and seem to think cos they are you should be as well. And they can't understand why you aren't receptive to their messages. I usually just delete them unread you get an idea what they are saying from what you can read without opening it.

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By *_can_see_your_pixelsMan
over a year ago

Gods own County

Hi all, it bothers me greatly that some SM can just rock up to a profile and send a "let's fuck message".

This only translates to disrespectful idiots in a club environment, you know the type dive straight in without invite or asking. Really winds me up as it makes everyone on edge.

I always try my upmost to be respectful in either forums, messages and most definitely clubs.

So with that in mind going to throw my profile out there for people to critique. Look forward to peoples comments and feedback.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh ye I get some of those messages as well especially at night or early in the morning. Usually from guys who are horny at the time and seem to think cos they are you should be as well. And they can't understand why you aren't receptive to their messages. I usually just delete them unread you get an idea what they are saying from what you can read without opening it. "

Yep! All I want to do if I'm online at that time is read the forums, not put up with idiots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never mention sex in the first message, just a quick 'Hi', usually a compliment on their photo's and profile, and attach a couple of face & body pics.

I do ok, although that said, don't get much interaction with cisgender women as I'm pretty upfront that I also like trans girls.

An honest gorgeous one!

Rare! "

Thanks, button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep! All I want to do if I'm online at that time is read the forums, not put up with idiots."
Yes they think cos you're online you're automatically looking for sex with a complete random stranger. Dont think they realise people can just chat and not fuck.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hi all, it bothers me greatly that some SM can just rock up to a profile and send a "let's fuck message".

This only translates to disrespectful idiots in a club environment, you know the type dive straight in without invite or asking. Really winds me up as it makes everyone on edge.

I always try my upmost to be respectful in either forums, messages and most definitely clubs.

So with that in mind going to throw my profile out there for people to critique. Look forward to peoples comments and feedback."

It's poor etiquette to hijack someone else's thread, especially as what you want has nothing to do with the topic.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Hi I put in a message, Hi I am Steve and looking for a nice woman or couples for good fun and I am a nice guy with a gsoh and guneuin hope you get back soon thanks Steve xdo anyone think that's worng please x"

its too generic sounding copy and paste job like you just sent it to 100 people without even working out if you be a good match. I always delete these messages as they clearly just being chancers

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Most of the time, after a polite introduction, don`t get a response back.

I think it might be just the fact that probably men inbox has only a few messages in, compared with women inbox which probably has around 500 messages to respond to."

your avatar and starting sentence needs to stick out. your avatar just gives the impression you're serious and quite 'vanilla'. I'm looking for fun and exciting sex involving whips and ropes...

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"Yep, get them all the time. Sometimes I think guys assume us ladies sit around in our lingerie all day waiting for someone to just pop in for a quickie, usually they don't even have a single pic and the fill in later profile, then they wonder why we just delete "

This is soooooooo true ...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I’m with you, altho I understand it’s a sex site I still like the chat etc otherwise it just feels a bit prostitute ( without payment) lol"

It's a swinging site. Hence the name 'Fabswingers' this implies there is a degree of social interaction as well.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Most of the time, after a polite introduction, don`t get a response back.

I think it might be just the fact that probably men inbox has only a few messages in, compared with women inbox which probably has around 500 messages to respond to.

Depends what you consider a ‘polite introduction’ though! To 95% of fab men, that ‘polite introduction’ is ‘hows fab treating you? Much planned for the day?’

I’d much rather someone took the time to read my profile and personalise a message that I knew wasn’t a copy and paste spamathon in hope of a reply.

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never mention sex in the first message, just a quick 'Hi', usually a compliment on their photo's and profile, and attach a couple of face & body pics.

I do ok, although that said, don't get much interaction with cisgender women as I'm pretty upfront that I also like trans girls.

guys, if you're reading this... this is how you should talk to a woman.. AMEN

I do talk to them like that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always send a polite message never mentioning sex, unless it's requested in the profile and I still rarely get a reply.

probably to do with no avatar photo or just choosing the wrong woman. "

I don't see how it's having no avatar photo as I always send some pics with my message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely agree OP.

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By *nee trembler123Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I've received 3 messages this morning which read

"Ready for you now "

"Come fuck me ,empty house "

"Wanna fuck ?"

Just deleted them all

A hello would be nice"

Hello

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By *nee trembler123Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Yeah even with my Domme edge!

You do know the warriors type with their penis', don't you!

Is that Wigan Warriors?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have found that they send a message no pic no nothing and seem to think I'm sitting round in sexy underwear all day waiting to have sex with a stranger, when I said to one guy we dont know what you look like and you dont know what we look like his reply was who cares its just sex!!! A lot of single men do seem to think they are doing us a favour lol

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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

Guys should at least try to chat or make a connection initially. I'd go on the lines of " like your profile etc., check out mine, would love to chat if your interested, if not enjoy the site, best of luck". Sometimes responses often not, that life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read there bio just to see what there after and see if there is anything I like to then I send a kind message then end it with if you don’t think there is a connection happy fabbing and leave it at that.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

The vast majority of the messages are just dire, show absolutely no effort or imagination and clearly from guys talking a scattergun approach. Most haven't even looked at my profile beyond the pictures & then proceed to ask questions which have already been answered in my profile, so just prove that they've not bothered to read it.

Then there are the ones who send the exact same copy & paste message multiple times a few days apart.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"The vast majority of the messages are just dire, show absolutely no effort or imagination and clearly from guys talking a scattergun approach. Most haven't even looked at my profile beyond the pictures & then proceed to ask questions which have already been answered in my profile, so just prove that they've not bothered to read it.

Then there are the ones who send the exact same copy & paste message multiple times a few days apart.

its so sad and off putting. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets this

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