FabSwingers.com forum: One of the girls

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im isabelle73 a 38 y/o tv. I have dressed for as long as I can remember, I have never been one for male friends I do however crave the company of women, but not to be seen as a male. It's something I have tried to deny for a lot of years but the more I deny it and lie to myself, the more I detest wearing male clothing and being male. I can't understand it.

If you are a woman reading this please give me your views

If you are male, please do the same

And same for any real tv/tg/ts

Thanks

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm not sure what your asking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im asking to be one of the girls, is it possible to become one of the girls, or is it just a hopeless want?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im asking to be one of the girls, is it possible to become one of the girls, or is it just a hopeless want?"

My friends are based on their personalities not their looks! If you're a nice person id be friends with you dressed as a woman or not! Do what makes you happy, find good friends that accept all of you and don't worry about the others!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

very well put. but don't you find there is allot of prejudice towards female wannabe's?

to be gay, Les, bi, bi curious is widely accepted now in most countries, but for a man to dress as a woman or even want to behave or be a woman is still very widely frowned upon x

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By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish

Not by me, you be what you like, I treat everybody as individual people. I don't have time for prejudice.

Have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the person inside that matters to us, be confident to be as you want to be.we don't judge ppl's sexuality, my cousin is gay and his partner is one of the nicest men i have ever spoken to.So be happy,and remember nice ppl don't judge!!!! Have fun xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks your words are appreciated,

and warming, though i still have to watch what i do and where i go, i have been followed and taunted in most public places and even been chased for dressing as a woman. i suppose in reflection i just have to put a brave face on and be who god made me to be, after all who am i to argue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knew a tv who was treated so badly , that sadly he took his own life......... it was a terrible thing to happen, after all we all deserve some happiness, as my 106 yr old grand mother tells me "don't let the buggars get you down " lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a tv who was treated so badly , that sadly he took his own life......... it was a terrible thing to happen, after all we all deserve some happiness, as my 106 yr old grand mother tells me "don't let the buggars get you down " lol xxx

Love it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think that people wouldn't judge especially on a site like this!!! Just be careful with where you go and the things you do. How does your wife feel about all of it, does she know you are on here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

wife hates me dressing, im disgusting and a freak, so unfortunately its taboo, she took all my male undies away and replaced them with women's which i have to wear all the time and that's all i am allowed in the femme clothing range, but im not complaining, i just wish i could be more open about it, i get 3 hours a day to dress and be alone lol alone, we haven't had sex in over 3 years because it don't do anything for me any more

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have a few tv friends and when they are dressed i just think they are girls, there all very girly when dressed so its easy. There is lots of women that are tv admirers out there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you know any you'll have to let me know, they seem to be as rare as gold dust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pm me sometime. I've a few TV close friends. Always happy to meet likeminded people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wife hates me dressing, im disgusting and a freak, so unfortunately its taboo, she took all my male undies away and replaced them with women's which i have to wear all the time and that's all i am allowed in the femme clothing range, but im not complaining, i just wish i could be more open about it, i get 3 hours a day to dress and be alone lol alone, we haven't had sex in over 3 years because it don't do anything for me any more"

Oh no, that's really sad!!! I understand that everyone is different but if my husband came home saying he wanted to dress like a female it wouldn't do anything sexually for me personally but I'd embrace it and support him. You need to be who you are, not what society thinks! Have you thought about any form of counselling either yourself or with your wife. Tell me if I'm wrong or going to far but it's coming across as you are both struggling with dealing with the issue at hand!? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know nothing about this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your wife is so mean.

There are more understanding people out there, lots just on this thread. All people get prejudiced against to some extent. Some more than others.

Do what makes you feel good but be safe. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your wife is so mean.

There are more understanding people out there, lots just on this thread. All people get prejudiced against to some extent. Some more than others.

Do what makes you feel good but be safe. Xx"

She is mean, sorry to say it! She's putting you down

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"very well put. but don't you find there is allot of prejudice towards female wannabe's?

to be gay, Les, bi, bi curious is widely accepted now in most countries, but for a man to dress as a woman or even want to behave or be a woman is still very widely frowned upon x"

As someone else has said, my friends are chosen for being people I get on with and whose company I enjoy. Looks play no part. However, I'd be uncomfortable with you in public if you are a man that just wants to wear women's clothing and not a pre op. I say that as I'm assuming if we were out you'd want to use female toilets and my concern would be people's reaction to you, especially if children are in the toilets alone, if you see what I mean.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Sorry your wife is so mean.

There are more understanding people out there, lots just on this thread. All people get prejudiced against to some extent. Some more than others.

Do what makes you feel good but be safe. Xx"

Why is his wife mean?

If my husband changed the "rules" I wouldn't be happy either. I get the impression she at least tried by allowing female underwear. It's the op that has said he hasn't had sex with his wife in three years as it no longer does it for him, but is on a swinging site...but the wife is mean?!!

Come on now!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"Not by me, you be what you like, I treat everybody as individual people. I don't have time for prejudice.

Have fun.

,good luck

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By *lare GTV/TS
over a year ago

South of Sleaford

I am sorry to hear that you are between a rock and a hard place. I can only comment about my own experience. The point you have raised cannot be answered in just a few words. It strikes at the core of you as a person.

Your desire not to be 'male' indicates that you reject part of who you are. It is possible that by expressing your female side you may help to come to terms with your true self. However, none of us are fully male or female, apart from gender we are all a mixture of male and female mental and emotional characteristics. It is long and hard road to fully accept all aspects of yourself. I know I have trod that path and am now happy with both sides of me and have very many very supportive friends who like and support me.

In my opinion your wife is using your need to dress as a lever to get what she wants - someone she can control. Taking away all your male underwear is 'unusual'.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I am sorry to hear that you are between a rock and a hard place. I can only comment about my own experience. The point you have raised cannot be answered in just a few words. It strikes at the core of you as a person.

In my opinion your wife is using your need to dress as a lever to get what she wants - someone she can control. Taking away all your male underwear is 'unusual'.

I have absolutely no idea of where you're coming from. I've never had any problems with concerns over my gender or sexuality so I cannot comment on that aspect.

I understand anger and frustration though. Be honest, step back and try and look at this objectively from the information the op has given. If you were his wife and he hadn't made love to you in three years as "you didn't do it for him anymore", yet you allowed him three hours a day to "be himself" as a compromise with nothing in return...how would you react?

Personally I think taking his underpants away as very mild.

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By *lare GTV/TS
over a year ago

South of Sleaford

Thoughts about the balance of male and female internal characteristics come from conversations I have had with many close friends both male and female. I only mentioned gender not sexuality.

We do not know the whole story.

I can fully appreciate the anger and frustration a woman would feel suddenly discovering that her husband wanted to present as female. We are not told whether this was discussed before they got married. The situation between both parties is both difficult and complicated and we only have one side of the story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is his wife mean?

Come on now! "

My thoughts entirely. Easy to say yes I'm cool with TV's if that is all you have ever known them to be.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Thoughts about the balance of male and female internal characteristics come from conversations I have had with many close friends both male and female. I only mentioned gender not sexuality.

We do not know the whole story.

I agree, but it doesn't stop people from demonising the wife based on the same information I've read.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

PS: Am I the only one that finds the ops profile confusing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PS: Am I the only one that finds the ops profile confusing? "

A wee tad confusing seeing 'only a girl' 'without one' showing clear pictures of one.

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

Why is his wife mean?

Come on now! "

I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im asking to be one of the girls, is it possible to become one of the girls, or is it just a hopeless want?"

No I don't think it's something you should give up on but I can understand that it's hard to find 'girlfriends'.

I'm not sure how to advise you to make friends with woman but maybe appraoching someone you think you'd get on with and ask for some tips? Girls just can't resist sharing thier tips and see if you can her to get a whole bunch of her friends togther for a wine and tip sharing evening.

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By *tensonSwingersCouple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields

[Removed by poster at 08/06/12 14:51:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're more likely to be accepted on a site like this as most swingers are used to things that aren't societies 'norm'...however, if you think that you'll be accepted wandering about in tights & a wig on the high street and that folk won't stare, they will. Because that isn't the norm.

I don't understand cross dressing. I don't know whether the person doing it does it for sexual gratification. Therefore if my daughter was in a public toilet and said bloke in said tights and wig went into that toilet, I would be following and asking them to leave. You will find friends when you find yourself and settle with who you are and I don't think that will happen for you until you get out of the rut of self pity and decide whether you'd be better going it alone or if your marriage is worth saving. Good luck.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Supposedly, androgynous people are psychologically healthy - assuming no other issues etc.

Gender is something that's culturally influenced, and overall we all deserve to be who we are, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives, as well as accepted by others, where we're not expecting anything other than acceptance, which it sounds like you need.

There are probably 2 issues that you've outlined -

1. Your relationship with your wife, and

2. Your gender, and how you can be fully who are and need to be.

It may help to separate them, and deal with them this way, even though your relationship is influenced by who you are, your wife's needs etc.

As someone above said, it sounds like relationship counseling might be very helpful. This may be in connection with, or separate to gender related support.

I take others for who they are, and expect the same from everyone. I don't think you've voiced your sexual interests, so this may be something else that you'd need to reflect on, as part of your counseling, and how you'd both like your relationship to be.

As for hate, that just has no part in our society, and the police are supportive, treating hate crimes for what they are. I've had some trouble in the past, I occasionally get frightened but I rarely modify where I want to be, according to potential nutters that may be around. As you develop more certainty and confidence inside, you'll get clearer about what it is that you're needing. For now, take care of yourself, nurture yourself and ensure that you get more of the support that you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or a cry for help??? My job doesn't allow me to let people suffer in silence neither does my personality, this person is obviously in a living hell at the moment and just needs tlc from a few random strangers to help restore her faith in human kind!!! Personally I take my hat off to her, it takes balls to live against the norm of society. Not sure I could be so brave?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your wife is so mean.

There are more understanding people out there, lots just on this thread. All people get prejudiced against to some extent. Some more than others.

Do what makes you feel good but be safe. Xx

Why is his wife mean?

Come on now! "

I think his wife is mean for calling him disgusting and a freak. No need to call someone that. He is merely expressing himself. Since when does wearing women's clothes or feeling female mean that he is a freak?! (Yes I know some people see it as freakish but hey ho.)

Sounds to me like she took his male undies away as some sort of punishment, to try and humiliate him.

It took a heck of a lot of guts for him to a) tell his wife and b) post this thread.

In response to the comment about blokes wearing women's clothes and going into female toilets- I totally agree, that's absolutely not on. The OP didn't mention that, but someone else did. I think the human rights of kids come far above the human rights of an adult, no matter who they are. Fine to walk down a street but not into a female toilet or female changing rooms, sorry.

OP, I hope you find some cool friends that you can hang out with and be yourself with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or a cry for help??? My job doesn't allow me to let people suffer in silence neither does my personality, this person is obviously in a living hell at the moment and just needs tlc from a few random strangers to help restore her faith in human kind!!! Personally I take my hat off to her, it takes balls to live against the norm of society. Not sure I could be so brave?...

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By *tensonSwingersCouple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields

HIM!...this person is male...HE has a penis, HE was born a male.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Sorry your wife is so mean.

There are more understanding people out there, lots just on this thread. All people get prejudiced against to some extent. Some more than others.

Do what makes you feel good but be safe. Xx

Why is his wife mean?

Come on now!

Sounds to me like she took his male undies away as some sort of punishment, to try and humiliate him.

It took a heck of a lot of guts for him to a) tell his wife and b) post this thread.

OP, I hope you find some cool friends that you can hang out with and be yourself with.

I think the op is mean, not having sex with his wife in three years as she doesn't do it for him, yet seeking solace on a swinging site. But we all have differing points of view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op is mean, not having sex with his wife in three years as she doesn't do it for him, yet seeking solace on a swinging site. But we all have differing points of view."

Fair point.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

HIM!...this person is male...HE has a penis, HE was born a male."

You don't know the person's genetic makeup, and feel free to dicate to them what their sex and gender are. But the person's gender is assumed female, though she is going through a tough time, and hasn't appeared to make any decisions about reassignment surgery etc.

We each make our own decisions about our own gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl!!! The controversy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op is mean, not having sex with his wife in three years as she doesn't do it for him, yet seeking solace on a swinging site. But we all have differing points of view.

Fair point.

But we don't know the reason they don't have sex, it may not be an issue with dressing female she may just no longer be in love with the wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op is mean, not having sex with his wife in three years as she doesn't do it for him, yet seeking solace on a swinging site. But we all have differing points of view.

Fair point.

But we don't know the reason they don't have sex, it may not be an issue with dressing female she may just no longer be in love with the wife?

Fair point.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think the op is mean, not having sex with his wife in three years as she doesn't do it for him, yet seeking solace on a swinging site. But we all have differing points of view.

Fair point.

But we don't know the reason they don't have sex, it may not be an issue with dressing female she may just no longer be in love with the wife?

I'm going on the same information you have: HIS wife no longer does it for him...the same excuse other cheating husbands use in MY opinion.

"Dressing up" is just smoke and mirrors to me.

It's a forum, we all have our own interpretation of things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going on the same information you have: HIS wife no longer does it for him...the same excuse other cheating husbands use in MY opinion.

"Dressing up" is just smoke and mirrors to me.

It's a forum, we all have our own interpretation of things."

I wouldn't assume that it's always the bloke's fault, it could be the woman's fault.

What do you mean smoke and mirrors?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know everyone has the right to their opinion and I'm not saying I'm right but I'm surprised at some of the reactions at what others are saying!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok I have seen some " Chinese whispers" or points I have made unclear. ,1 I have two to three hours alone time because the house is empty and She is at work, 2, She never took away my male clothes, just my undies. 3, we haven't had sex in three years because the missionary does nothing for me and I can't perform in this role. 4, yes I have a penis all be it a small one, it is that small that I can push it inside itself, and with the aid of a clitoral vibe or rubbing I can climax, I don't have to " for want of a better word" WANK

Hence when I'm with either a man or a woman, I don't have a dick, in other words , I don't want it used as a dick, I would prefer to be as a femme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope that in some way this post has helped you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I have to ask, if you don't want your cock used as a cock, why advertise it with pics on your profile?

If it's friends you're looking for, you need to be a bit clearer. As a female, I find it all rather confusing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To show that, in body I am a man, and that people know this, and when it comes to meeting some one they don't get a shock, as you are aware not everyone reads profiles on here, I can see your point though and shall re look at my profile to make it a bit more clearer

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm going on the same information you have: HIS wife no longer does it for him...the same excuse other cheating husbands use in MY opinion.

"Dressing up" is just smoke and mirrors to me.

It's a forum, we all have our own interpretation of things.

I wouldn't assume that it's always the bloke's fault, it could be the woman's fault.

What do you mean smoke and mirrors? "

Neither would I but I think "SHE no longer does it for ME" is a bit of a clue don't you think?

My wife doesn't understand me, my wife won't dress up for me, my wife won't let me fuck her up the arse, my wife won't let me dress up as a woman...smoke and mirrors, all excuses married men use to be here without their wife's knowledge...in my opinion of course...others are free to differ.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok if my husband came home after a good number of years and suddenly wanted to be a female i think i would be shocked angry and may take some time to work though my feels if then said hubby went off sex as well i think i would be really angry he/she is not behaving as a husband and just my opnion but if he doesn't want to be a husband anymore and wants more 'alone' time then maybe a divorce so she can be happy again if he doesn't want to be male anymore then surely he doesn't want to be a husband anymore. therefore coming on a swinging site is just another problem for this marriage. i get he is trying to work him/ herself out but while he does that i am sure there is a very unhappy women at the end of it. just being honest if it was me i would have gone for the female clothes and cut them up and yes i would have done it to hurt him not sure how she has humliated him as underwear only him and her know its female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was married to someone for years and my husband came home and said he wanted to dress in women's clothes and/ or become a woman I'd be devastated. But only because I'd be gutted that he didn't feel he could tell me before.

If the marriage is dead, it's dead. These things happen. Not always the bloke's fault, people just grow apart some times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it doesn't have to be anyones fault but why continue to make each other unhappy thats what i don't get

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By *adystephanieTV/TS
over a year ago

glos

Hmmmm well after looking at your initial request for comment and reading many of them I can quite understand your feelings however they are in my opinion due purley to your inability to accept yourself in both roles, this is mainly due, I believe, to a naturally occuring phenomena that all tv,s etc have or at some point will experience it is a feeling of guilt that you may not even notice but it leads to an intense dislike of the male persona eventually reaching the stage you appear to be at now, to be honest if this is the way things have happened transitioning to a woman will not be the way to go, and I would imagine the process which includes many sessions with psycologists would come to this conclusion.

As for the relationship and sex thing 'did someone say Smoke and Mirrors' excellent way of putting it i think as underneath all that is the cause and cure of your unhappiness. you really do need to shed that guilt and most of all if you are in a relationship the only way forward is to tell your partner everything I dealt with mine long ago I love to be girly but enjoy my summers usually racing jetskis in a true lad role...buy hey everyone is different and from what Ive seen most have very differing oppinions none of which can be argued as being wrong ....

And this is 'Just another opinion' which is going to confuse you even more this is a chat forum, if you are unable to sort things yourself there's lots of places to find a little help ....god knows we all need a little of that

S x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hmmmm well after looking at your initial request for comment and reading many of them I can quite understand your feelings however they are in my opinion due purley to your inability to accept yourself in both roles, this is mainly due, I believe, to a naturally occuring phenomena that all tv,s etc have or at some point will experience it is a feeling of guilt that you may not even notice but it leads to an intense dislike of the male persona eventually reaching the stage you appear to be at now, to be honest if this is the way things have happened transitioning to a woman will not be the way to go, and I would imagine the process which includes many sessions with psycologists would come to this conclusion.

S x"

What a lovely post.

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By *adystephanieTV/TS
over a year ago

glos

Hey who nicked my post .....and why?

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By *adystephanieTV/TS
over a year ago

glos

Ahhhh well thats nice to see someone has actually drawn the line....Thank you x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Ahhhh well thats nice to see someone has actually drawn the line....Thank you x "

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Hey who nicked my post .....and why?"

If you quoted a post that has been removed then yours would be removed as well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not me! I have had the. First part of my last post removed

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Not me! I have had the. First part of my last post removed

There was a rather nasty post that quoted the first part of your last post. Admin has removed it and it's taken that paragraph with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not me! I have had the. First part of my last post removed

There was a rather nasty post that quoted the first part of your last post. Admin has removed it and it's taken that paragraph with it.

Good old admin!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not me! I have had the. First part of my last post removed

There was a rather nasty post that quoted the first part of your last post. Admin has removed it and it's taken that paragraph with it.

Why what was the post?

I haven't put anything nasty on, nor have I put any pics on this forum ?????????????

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Not me! I have had the. First part of my last post removed

There was a rather nasty post that quoted the first part of your last post. Admin has removed it and it's taken that paragraph with it.

Why what was the post?

I haven't put anything nasty on, nor have I put any pics on this forum ?????????????"

It wasn't your post. Someone wrote something very nasty and derogatory against you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh, ok well I'm sorry if I have offended anyone

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