FabSwingers.com forum: Meeting Couples

By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

We’re new to the lifestyle but looking forward to getting involved! Preferably looking for couples over anything else but seem to be having a bit of a difficult time getting to know genuine people. Just a few questions and after a genuine bit of advice...

1.) It seems a lot of couples are not prepared to cam to prove they are genuine. Is that a warning sign or too much of an ask from us?

2.) So many couples seem to have their female halves missing. One recently told us their female half is away for 5 weeks. Is that a warning sign again?

3.) Had a few now that just demand videos that stop engaging when we say we’d like to get to know them better first?

4.) Any pointers for our profile? A lot of couples claim they can’t keep up with their inbox. We barely get any messages. Maybe we’re just not that attractive? We’re always happy to send face pics in a message and verify on cam but same can’t be said for a lot of couples.

Thanks in advance for your help! X

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By *rSpriteandMsClitBangCouple
over a year ago

hadleigh

"We’re new to the lifestyle but looking forward to getting involved! Preferably looking for couples over anything else but seem to be having a bit of a difficult time getting to know genuine people. Just a few questions and after a genuine bit of advice...

1.) It seems a lot of couples are not prepared to cam to prove they are genuine. Is that a warning sign or too much of an ask from us?

2.) So many couples seem to have their female halves missing. One recently told us their female half is away for 5 weeks. Is that a warning sign again?

3.) Had a few now that just demand videos that stop engaging when we say we’d like to get to know them better first?

Thanks in advance for your help! X"

Hello, and welcome!

You will find that some of the points you've mentioned are indicative of couples actually being a single male. Certainly the pushiness for vids, and the "she's away", are warning signs for us.

For cam, it depends. We get a bit shy about going on cam, a) because sometimes the kids are here, and b) because we haven't done it much and don't know if it would be super awkward! But I know some are into it.

Inbox can vary. If you allow single males to message it can be overwhelming, but if it's just females and couples it's normally more manageable unless you post a lot of pictures and post in forums. Things are quieter at the moment too because people can't meet, and a lot don't want a long drawn out chat.

Hope that helps!

C (her) x

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

Lots of couples won't cam we are not fans number 2 saying the wife is away is a big one though almost certainly either single male or carrying on an old couples account after splitting up verifications are a useful way check people are legit

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By *ourPlay2020Couple
over a year ago

Evesham

Hi there,

We're new too but been around the site for a while.

I looked at your profile and it looked perfectly fine to me. I'm more suspicious of profiles with only a line or two - at least you've put some effort into yours and explained what you like and don't like which saves a lot of wasted time. I like the "Flora" idea as a lot just spam loads of profiles like you say.

Not camming isn't necessarily a bad sign. We haven't done it either and that's because we only joined shortly before the virus came and have had our kids at home the whole time since - no school and no weekends away with shielding grandparents. We would only feel comfortable on cam if alone in the house which we haven't been for over three months.

We've struck up some good conversations with people during the lockdown when we've not been able to do a lot else but genuine people will understand that - others are way too pushy and will drop you like a ton of bricks if you don't dance to their tune right away - but it's no great loss!

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

We do look for verifications but don’t want to be too judgemental of those without them. After all we only have one ourselves.

But carrying on an old couples account, I guess that makes sense!

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

Well the Flora idea was added because of what we’d seen on other profiles. Fact is, we get maybe 2/3 messages a day so managing it is quite easy

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By *ourPlay2020Couple
over a year ago

Evesham

"We do look for verifications but don’t want to be too judgemental of those without them. After all we only have one ourselves.

But carrying on an old couples account, I guess that makes sense!"

We haven't got any verifications yet but that's largely down to the lockdown coming in just as we were getting started! Hopefully that will change very soon as we've a few couples we've been talking to who we're itching to meet - even if it's just socially at first. Roll on July 4th!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it feels wrong to you then it's wrong for you.

We never cam, send specific photos or do phone chats. We never ask other people to either. We get maybe one message every three months from couples

. So there's no right way really.

Have you contacted any couples yourself?

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By *peak and SpellCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich, SE LONDON

We would never cam... As we like to keep control of our online images, but our verifications should speak for themselves.

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

Interesting how many of you say you wouldn’t cam. Guess we are just asking too much then.

Thanks for the advice!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Interesting how many of you say you wouldn’t cam. Guess we are just asking too much then.

Thanks for the advice!"

One sure fire way to find out is to arrange a brief coffee meet.

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

Agreed, but it’s a bit out of the question at the moment

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By *ourPlay2020Couple
over a year ago

Evesham

"Interesting how many of you say you wouldn’t cam. Guess we are just asking too much then.

Thanks for the advice!

One sure fire way to find out is to arrange a brief coffee meet. "

Yes, that's how we're planning to get started. Can't do much other than that at the moment but if they're genuine people, they will understand that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Agreed, but it’s a bit out of the question at the moment

True.

In all the time we've been swinging we have never got to a meet and found that it's not a couple (unless we knew we were meeting a single man of course). We tend to be quite straightforward with our questions and always meet for a coffee or a drink first.

We have arrived to find people older, larger and in one case younger than claimed. We have also got the impression at the social meet that one partner is only going along with it to keep the other happy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Interesting how many of you say you wouldn’t cam. Guess we are just asking too much then.

Thanks for the advice!

One sure fire way to find out is to arrange a brief coffee meet.

Yes, that's how we're planning to get started. Can't do much other than that at the moment but if they're genuine people, they will understand that."

We've always done it that way.

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By *wosmilersCouple
over a year ago

Heathrowish

Before lockdown, we often met at clubs. This would ensure that if a guy turned up alone there was a polite but firm "no thanks".

Couples only nights make this even easier....

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By *atinocoupleCouple
over a year ago

SF, NY, London (in that order)

We almost always meet at club events first, then arrange a foursome/threesome at a later date

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By *inksAPlentyCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

We would never cam - it never occurred to me that somebody might not think we're genuine because we won't cam.

Ms x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are another cpl who won’t cam with the verifications we have don’t think we need to prove we are a cpl

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

Just to clarify, by “cam” we mean just say hi and see that you’re real. Not necessarily sex on cam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thanks to being on cam, clothed or otherwise.

For profiles where there are only photos of the male or female, unless they can send photos we give them the swerve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are another couple that do not cam as it's not our thing. Even to say hi. But we always agree to a social first though, as we need to make sure all are on the same page and it's a no pressure environment.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

1) we never cam, not into that. Lots of couples we know aren’t either. Lots of people who cam, aren’t really into meeting or don’t have social skills. But we also know genuine couples that do cam, but they seem to less outgoing and confident.

2.) Definitely a warning sign, avoid if you can’t make contact with the female

3.) Just avoid those , time wasters or fakes

4.) it looks fine to us. You’re big and bi so won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but plenty will want that. It’s just a latter of being patient and sifting through the rubbish , once you have a few veri you’ll have the opposite problem, good luck

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

1. We personally wouldn't cam to prove we're genuine. It would be like starting a relationship with suspicion. We'd rather do some messaging and if we think there's a bit of rapport we can chat in other ways. Our verifications show we're genuine as far as we're concerned.

2. Not necessarily. Hannah is American and is a freelancer who works all over the world, especially in her home country. It's fairly normal for her to be away for weeks at a time.

3. Don't blame you. We'd say no thanks too.

4. The photos are a bit explicit for our tastes but that won't be the case for everybody. Your text is fine. The bit about putting a word in the subject to know somebody has read your profile is often dismissed as off-putting.

We don't get all that many messages either. I think it might have something to do with the part of the world we're in. If you look at the forums you'll see that there is very little input from down south compared with further north. Lockdown has also affected messaging because people just aren't meeting. We got a lot more approaches while there was the potential to actually meet.

I would suggest that if you want more messages, put as few barriers up as possible. Drop the Flora word in message titles and the video chat requirement and do your own filtering based on what people say. Only put up those sort of filters when you have a quantity of messages that are worth filtering.

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By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

We don't cam either. Absolutely no need to, don't want to and haven't got the time to. You'll know who is genuine through validations and how a profile is written and how messages are responded to.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

1.) It seems a lot of couples are not prepared to cam to prove they are genuine. Is that a warning sign or too much of an ask from us?

2.) So many couples seem to have their female halves missing. One recently told us their female half is away for 5 weeks. Is that a warning sign again?

3.) Had a few now that just demand videos that stop engaging when we say we’d like to get to know them better first?

Thanks in advance for your help! X"

1) It could be. It could also be they are worried you may be recording them on Skype.

2) That would be a defo be a warning sign for me. I would tell him to contact back when wife is back.

3) Probably a guy looking for masturbation material.

4) Profile has good text and good pictures.

If a couple seem reluctant to let you talk to the wife on the phone or Skype to prove she is real there is a 99% chance there is no wife.

Some guys think if they pretend to have a wife you will meet them. They think if you arrange a meet and they say wife is ill, wife's mum is ill, wife has broken her leg, wife had to go into work etc you will still carry on with the meet. Make it clear no wife with him no meet.

I you spend time during lockdown getting to know couples online you will get rid of the male chancers pretending to be a couple.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Interesting how many of you say you wouldn’t cam. Guess we are just asking too much then.

Thanks for the advice!"

If you cam you can be recorded. That includes fab chat rooms and Skype. Even if you are not going on cam to have sex some people are rightly worried about being recorded.

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

We don't cam or talk on the phone to verify eithier

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Just to clarify, by “cam” we mean just say hi and see that you’re real. Not necessarily sex on cam"

Some people don't want their faces public. Even though you just want a hi how are you video chat you could be recording them. You could then splash their faces all over the Internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're another couple that won't cam or do a phone call. We believe our photos and verifications are more than enough to prove that we're real and actually a couple.

The other points you raise would certainly be things that would set off our spidey senses too.

As for your profile...I think it's absolutely grand. You'll never please everyone but it's clear about what you're looking for and you're both well represented when it comes to your photos.

But hey, we're no experts - we've yet to meet a compatible couple

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By *riendly_Mancs_CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worksop (visiting)

Hi guys...In our experience...(REPLIES IN UPPER CASE)

1.) It seems a lot of couples are not prepared to cam to prove they are genuine. Is that a warning sign or too much of an ask from us?

WE NEVER, EVER CAM BECAUSE ITS NOT TOO DIFFICULT FOR HACKERS TO INTERCEPT THE STREAM. ALSO, HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THE OTHER PARTY ISN'T RECORDING? TEENAGERS / KIDS AROUND MAKES IT HARD TOO.

2.) So many couples seem to have their female halves missing. One recently told us their female half is away for 5 weeks. Is that a warning sign again?

IN OUR EXPERIENCE ITS A SINGLE GUY AND WIFEY DOESN'T EXIST.

3.) Had a few now that just demand videos that stop engaging when we say we’d like to get to know them better first?

STICK TO YOUR OWN RULES. AGAIN, IT’S LIKELY THE OTHER SIDE IS A GUY.

WE DON’T DO FACE PICS BUT WE HAVE A VERY SIMPLE, QUICK METHOD OF WEEDING OUT THE FAKES...QUICK FEMALE-FEMALE PHONE CHAT AND HEY PRESTO...JUST LIKE CILLIT BANG...AND THE WIFE IS GONE.

Thanks in advance for your help! X"

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By *abybearandthebossCouple
over a year ago

COLCHESTER

You both have a lovely profile.

As a couple we never accept people telling us what to do, so demands for anything is a conversation ending for us.

Couples where the female half is away, taking a break, wants the man to play alone, is always an ending for us too. There are plenty of honest single guys to talk to.

Normally you can tell genuine people, just the way they talk.

Have lots of fun. X

Faith and Si.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as been said by others:

1) We won't cam or phone call to prove we're real.

2) She does not exist.

3) Same as 2.

4) Your pics and profile look good and informative. The number of messages depends on our activity level but doesn't get to the unmanageable level. As for face pictures - we won't send them via fab and do make it clear in our profile. But we're happy to send them via kik for example. On the other hand, we always meet for social only first and do like the social side of things too. So we don't ask for face pics and over half of our meets were without exchanging them first. It's safe to say that if things weren't taken further - it wasn't because of their faces.

Mrs

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I’ve come to the conclusion that hardly anyone meets from here anymore.... it’s full of to many fakes, guys saying they are women, guys saying they are couples... and it’s become nothing more than a fantasists talking shop .. soz sound so negative, but been in here an age and watched has it’s descended into a talking egotistical cock fest.... hope you do find someone oR ones op... but I thinks it’s gong be hard

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Sounds like you've come across some time wasters.

But don't let that put you off, the right people are out there and worth the wait

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"Sounds like you've come across some time wasters.

But don't let that put you off, the right people are out there and worth the wait

Thanks

but after ten years, I’ve come across a few but not as many as recently .. but hey, good luck to u guys and op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1.) It seems a lot of couples are not prepared to cam to prove they are genuine. Is that a warning sign or too much of an ask from us?

2.) So many couples seem to have their female halves missing. One recently told us their female half is away for 5 weeks. Is that a warning sign again?

3.) Had a few now that just demand videos that stop engaging when we say we’d like to get to know them better first?

Thanks in advance for your help! X"

1) some just wont cam. I (fem half) do once in a blue moon in chat rooms but that's about it

2) usually a sign its a single guy pretending.

3) again usually a sign of a single guy pretending.

We dont get many messages but i dont see any issues with your profile from my point of view x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve come to the conclusion that hardly anyone meets from here anymore.... it’s full of to many fakes, guys saying they are women, guys saying they are couples... and it’s become nothing more than a fantasists talking shop .. soz sound so negative, but been in here an age and watched has it’s descended into a talking egotistical cock fest.... hope you do find someone oR ones op... but I thinks it’s gong be hard

Been her 10 years (on and off) and to be honest ive seen a decline in genuine swingers. Come across too many dreamers etc.

We find life a lot simpler to just go into a club and go from there and only use the site for the forums and chat rooms

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

For some of us who have teens like ing at home it's difficult to go on cam with swingers they have ears like hawks so that is the main reason we don't at the moment .lockdownish means there always home so no privacy

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

Living at home

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Agree about the Flora, any demands like we just move on , it’s not actually unreasonable considering the amount of faves but it’s just cones across as being entitled.

People can choose to read profile text and follow rules or not. Personally we couldn’t care less, if they are interesting , hot and a good match we will meet and likely fuck

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

We hear stories of FAB and fake accounts and time wasters but us ourselves have never come across any of this, obviously it must happen but in 8 years on here we haven't seen it.

We do before meets want to talk to both partners on the phone and will read through verifications etc, if a profile has been on FAB over a year and never had a meet we know to avoid them as they are never going to do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't massive fans of camming, mostly because we have a house full of teens up all hours so it would be a little awkward. We ordinarily are more than happy to meet for coffee or something stronger to prove we are genuine.

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By *urious8812Couple
over a year ago

dorchester

We don’t cam either. I think our photos and veris show we are a genuine couple. The most we’d do if face photos were exchanged is chat on the phone before meeting up. We’ve had some couples seem to be really suspicious and wanted us to give out loads of details but not be willing to give much back. It either gets really weird or too much hard work.

I always think it’s best to trust your instincts.

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By * peas in a podCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

We don't cam either. Our profile and verfications should be enough to prove we are genuine. We have no issue having a quick phone call to ensure everyone is on the same page but would prefer to do a social meet with all parties involved.

We are a couple who has no issue with the other playing separately so yes, Mrs, me,is not always available, however I always speak to or meet the others socially first to confirm I do exist and that yes we are ok with the other going off on their own.

Too many couples want bi females to play with and that's not for me so we find it easier and suits us better to occasionally do our own thing. That doesn't make us any less genuine. Saying all that, I've never been away for 5 weeks that I couldn't talk to someone lol

Mrs. Pea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile initially screams written by the male half which is an instant no for me..sounds weird but prefer the female to run the account

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By *r Mrs H OP Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

We’re both active on here although I think I (Mr) write the profile. Once it goes over to kik though, it’s pretty much all Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’re both active on here although I think I (Mr) write the profile. Once it goes over to kik though, it’s pretty much all Mrs"

Personally I think it's best to chat on here of kik or havec socials etsouthern you find people you can trust. You see who they have met too and gauge their veris and the circle of trust improves ...

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By *actileGent69Man
over a year ago

East Cheshire

You two would make my Mrs come out of hiding !, any plans to move up north ?.

....Yes many couples are too shy to cam with someone they don't already know. Those demanding pics and vids are usually just collectors. Can't understand why your inbox isn't full to bursting !

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By *inksAPlentyCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"We’re both active on here although I think I (Mr) write the profile. Once it goes over to kik though, it’s pretty much all Mrs"

Profile looks great to us!

Regardless of who wrote it honesty is key!

Our pics and veri's are our validation of being real, but we like to take the chat to Kik or WhatsApp if a chat gets going that is!

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

The cam thing is a big no no for us. Alot of people don't realise if you put your face on cam a screen shot maybe taken and you maybe used in their advertising for everyone to see (there is a thread on here about it so hopefully that may change in the future). So definitely no cam.

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