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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK so we are POSSIBLY LOOKING to involve a 3rd party ( male ) into the mix with both of us

Our question is how do you pick some one ? Verifications ? Recommendations ?

Would ideally prefer someone who treats us both with the respect we will show them and not treat the mrs like a slab of meat to get their end away

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

Initially the way they message or respond to your message. The first couple of messages are key.

Then for us quite quickly it moves to swapping of face pics to make sure we all have some degree of attraction for each other. For us that’s important.

A few more messages discussing what they want to try, what we’re looking for etc.

If all sounds good we organise a no pressure social. We we can be at ease with someone for an hour or two in a pub then it stands a good chance of working when we’re all naked. We never play the same day as a social.

After that we usually ponder for a day or so before letting the person know if we want to go further, and obviously seeing if they still want to go further with us.

We also look at verifications that they have, and also equally important are verifications they have left others. Those can tell you a lot about someone!

It’s actually surprising that with all that we actually find anyone that wants to meet us!

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By *uriousKinksterMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

We've really struggled to be honest!

First there's the overwhelming number of collosal cock wombles, who are disregarded outright ("hey u wn 2 fk nw?"). They're fortunately easy to spot from their blank picture and one-liner profiles.

Then there's the white knights. The ones who try to build rapport by siding with you against the buttholes described above. They tend to be pretty eloquent and affable guys for the most part. Usually tell you what they think you wanna hear, and it all sounds great. They take a while to detect but usually show their true colours by either ghosting you when they haven't been sent scores of nude pics, or showered with dirty talk and attention.

Finally there's the creepers. These are similar to the above, and it usually starts out really great. And then the wheels come off. You get the life story. They pester you. Stuff they say makes the hairs on the back of your next stand on end. Before you know it you're checking in the bushes before you get into your car for fear they may be lurking.

And then once every so often there's a legit guy who genuinely just wants to have some fun along similar lines to the pair of us. We call that The Fucking Lottery.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Initially the way they message or respond to your message. The first couple of messages are key.

Then for us quite quickly it moves to swapping of face pics to make sure we all have some degree of attraction for each other. For us that’s important.

A few more messages discussing what they want to try, what we’re looking for etc.

If all sounds good we organise a no pressure social. We we can be at ease with someone for an hour or two in a pub then it stands a good chance of working when we’re all naked. We never play the same day as a social.

After that we usually ponder for a day or so before letting the person know if we want to go further, and obviously seeing if they still want to go further with us.

We also look at verifications that they have, and also equally important are verifications they have left others. Those can tell you a lot about someone!

It’s actually surprising that with all that we actually find anyone that wants to meet us!"

Sounds like really good advice especially the no time pressure meet but I think more than one no pressure social meet would suit us, as uz say meet for a social and consider from there ? Sorry if any offence has been caused

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By *elnkazCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

We have had another join us but has been in a club situation. We choose the guy

Also met a guy in his hotel. Chat to the guy first. Let him know what you want. What you dont want and if you at any time feel uncomfortable to stop . But our first time was amazing. We chatted online . Met for drinks set our boundaries and off we went to the room

.enjoy the experience. I did. K

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool


"OK so we are POSSIBLY LOOKING to involve a 3rd party ( male ) into the mix with both of us

Our question is how do you pick some one ? Verifications ? Recommendations ?

Would ideally prefer someone who treats us both with the respect we will show them and not treat the mrs like a slab of meat to get their end away

"
Try with social meets with guys ...find out what they will do for you as a couple ...and let them know what you want from them ....veris etc can be a guide ....

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

It's not easy.

We get lots of messages but often from just the heading I can see it's not going to work.

We did find a guy we got on so well with but with lockdown things have obviously been very different.

I do think maybe it will be hard to find anyone to compare to him.

He completely got our dynamic, he was turned on by it and we trusted him.

Good luck, I hope you find someone

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks for the advice folks, so would uz meet local guys or guys outwith your area ?

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford


"Sounds like really good advice especially the no time pressure meet but I think more than one no pressure social meet would suit us, as uz say meet for a social and consider from there ? Sorry if any offence has been caused "

We only meet someone once for a Social. If you’re not sure after an hour in their company they aren’t for you.

Don’t rush things and soon enough you’ll find someone that’s the right match for what you want.

More importantly set your boundaries BEFORE you meet anyone, and make sure your candidate also knows those boundaries.

It may be that some are ‘soft’ boundaries. Something your not sure about, but if it happens and feels good then so be it. But make sure that hard boundaries are know by all beforehand.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We usually meet single men socially in a coffee shop or similar after messaging for a bit. We've found without exception that they are respectful.

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool


"Sounds like really good advice especially the no time pressure meet but I think more than one no pressure social meet would suit us, as uz say meet for a social and consider from there ? Sorry if any offence has been caused

We only meet someone once for a Social. If you’re not sure after an hour in their company they aren’t for you.

Don’t rush things and soon enough you’ll find someone that’s the right match for what you want.

More importantly set your boundaries BEFORE you meet anyone, and make sure your candidate also knows those boundaries.

It may be that some are ‘soft’ boundaries. Something your not sure about, but if it happens and feels good then so be it. But make sure that hard boundaries are know by all beforehand. "

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"OK so we are POSSIBLY LOOKING to involve a 3rd party ( male ) into the mix with both of us

Our question is how do you pick some one ? Verifications ? Recommendations ?

Would ideally prefer someone who treats us both with the respect we will show them and not treat the mrs like a slab of meat to get their end away

"

Spend lockdown time getting to know people. You will soon get rid of the chancers, idiots, disrespectful guys, etc. Use your gut instincts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whst is that I see. A unicorn......xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK so we are POSSIBLY LOOKING to involve a 3rd party ( male ) into the mix with both of us

Our question is how do you pick some one ? Verifications ? Recommendations ?

Would ideally prefer someone who treats us both with the respect we will show them and not treat the mrs like a slab of meat to get their end away

Spend lockdown time getting to know people. You will soon get rid of the chancers, idiots, disrespectful guys, etc. Use your gut instincts. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK so we are POSSIBLY LOOKING to involve a 3rd party ( male ) into the mix with both of us

Our question is how do you pick some one ? Verifications ? Recommendations ?

Would ideally prefer someone who treats us both with the respect we will show them and not treat the mrs like a slab of meat to get their end away

Spend lockdown time getting to know people. You will soon get rid of the chancers, idiots, disrespectful guys, etc. Use your gut instincts. "
Stop being dim please xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/06/20 23:49:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First you need to know what sort of guy you are looking for, age build ect

browse some profiles take a gander at the photos,make sure he's looking to meet a couple of course, have a read of his profile and verifications, check out his interests hopefully they match your own,

If you are both happy fire off a message and take it from there.

Good luck xx

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Luckily, we aren't looking for single guts, so don't get endless cock pics and idiots.. Finding a couple we like is hard enough. But fortunately, we have chatted to some really nice ones recently, and meets to look forward to when safe..

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Group chat helps alot. I find if he doesn’t interact with hubby, then it's not going to work.

Also you can discuss ideas and boundaries and get to know if you are all on the same page.

Verifications obviously helps alot as you know they will turn up and won't have an issue with mfm and the close proximity it sometimes has.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ


"Group chat helps alot. I find if he doesn’t interact with hubby, then it's not going to work.

Also you can discuss ideas and boundaries and get to know if you are all on the same page.

Verifications obviously helps alot as you know they will turn up and won't have an issue with mfm and the close proximity it sometimes has.

"

Definitely group chat. You get a good feel for dynamic.

We deliberately give away little on our profile to avoid people 'white knighting' our pet peeves. We share more about us (as a profile type thing) after the initial contact made.

And reverse-image search - earlier the better. Been there...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This person you're looking for is harder to find then you'd think.

We start with reading the verifications and if they look good (try to remember no one displays a bad one) then we'll make contact, then we talk and we talk some more, you should start getting a feel for the person, we talk about what all three of us wants to get out of the play session and we always set the boundaries.

Then if all is good we arrange a social to see if the attraction is good.

Then we make a date if all's good.

Good luck with your search, if it takes month's to find the right one then the time spent was worth it.x

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Thankfully we get to know a lot of single guys through parties, clubs & socials, so it's quite easy to sift through who we are looking for.

Alternatively, we go down the verification route. We look at their verifications, then we look at the verifications of the people who left their verification, then so on & so on.

Then it's down to intuition and an old fashioned fuck rating between 1-10.

We have yet to get it wrong.

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
over a year ago

Chippenham


"We've really struggled to be honest!

First there's the overwhelming number of collosal cock wombles, who are disregarded outright ("hey u wn 2 fk nw?"). They're fortunately easy to spot from their blank picture and one-liner profiles.

Then there's the white knights. The ones who try to build rapport by siding with you against the buttholes described above. They tend to be pretty eloquent and affable guys for the most part. Usually tell you what they think you wanna hear, and it all sounds great. They take a while to detect but usually show their true colours by either ghosting you when they haven't been sent scores of nude pics, or showered with dirty talk and attention.

Finally there's the creepers. These are similar to the above, and it usually starts out really great. And then the wheels come off. You get the life story. They pester you. Stuff they say makes the hairs on the back of your next stand on end. Before you know it you're checking in the bushes before you get into your car for fear they may be lurking.

And then once every so often there's a legit guy who genuinely just wants to have some fun along similar lines to the pair of us. We call that The Fucking Lottery. "

This so accurate particularly ghosting after not getting diryy pics and attention.

It's hard work to find a genuine guy but very occasionally we strike gold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Group chat helps alot. I find if he doesn’t interact with hubby, then it's not going to work.

Also you can discuss ideas and boundaries and get to know if you are all on the same page.

Verifications obviously helps alot as you know they will turn up and won't have an issue with mfm and the close proximity it sometimes has.

Definitely group chat. You get a good feel for dynamic.

We deliberately give away little on our profile to avoid people 'white knighting' our pet peeves. We share more about us (as a profile type thing) after the initial contact made.

And reverse-image search - earlier the better. Been there... "

Definitely definitely 'white knighting' is sickening and group chat is a great way to filter those out! We had one who tried sending mrs cherry private messages saying stuff like 'if you were mine I wouldn't make you do this' etc. We sat there laughing so hard we were crying

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