FabSwingers.com forum: Being polite made difficult

By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

If i get a message complimenting me i always try to be polite and respond with a "thank you" weather or not they send a face pic . This seems to be the greenlight for them to try to engage in conversation even though my profile states they are clearly not what im looking for . Is it time to stop being polite and hit delete without a "thank you"??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If i get a message complimenting me i always try to be polite and respond with a "thank you" weather or not they send a face pic . This seems to be the greenlight for them to try to engage in conversation even though my profile states they are clearly not what im looking for . Is it time to stop being polite and hit delete without a "thank you"??"

We think this sometimes too, however there are some that do read our profile so we think we would feel rude not responding to those

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We just delete, certainly any one liners or fail to read, with a little effort we reply sorry etc second message delete.

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By *zreal_rdgMan
over a year ago

Reading

Politeness is a great character trait to have. Don’t atop being you. But also deleting without saying anything isn’t impolite in my mind

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

Cotswolds

I wouldn’t stop being polite as That’s obviously not you as a person just say “thank you but your not Type hope you enjoy fab”

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By *izzie and VictorCouple
over a year ago

worcestershire

We try to be polite and then follow up with that it’s not what we are looking for and would have liked to be open enough to not use message filters, but recently started given the amount of pushy messages we had had from people who clearly don’t know how to read a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have made the effort before the same as you and then tend to get the whole "so what are you looking for" so it shows that they have clearly not read my profile as it says on there what I am looking for.

Now if I get this, I tend to just delete their message and if they continue to send me messages, I will block them.

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

"I wouldn’t stop being polite as That’s obviously not you as a person just say “thank you but your not Type hope you enjoy fab”"
dont like saying not my type as initially there not asking for anything just sending a compliment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you want to do that yes. FAQs say it's not rude to not reply. Another way to avoid the situation you describe is to reply and block or reply and then don't reply again. I would say that you need to make it clear that you aren't interested, don't leave the door open for further communication.

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

"If you want to do that yes. FAQs say it's not rude to not reply. Another way to avoid the situation you describe is to reply and block or reply and then don't reply again. I would say that you need to make it clear that you aren't interested, don't leave the door open for further

communication. "

I dont particuly like blocking people who are complimentary but get where your coming from

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

How about changing your profile text to say that you don't read any message without a face pic - that will massively reduce the number of compliment messages, and those that still send without an attachment you can delete without feeling rude.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

Cotswolds

"I wouldn’t stop being polite as That’s obviously not you as a person just say “thank you but your not Type hope you enjoy fab” dont like saying not my type as initially there not asking for anything just sending a compliment

Fair enough Well don’t worry when I’ve sent my compliment I won’t fish for more messages if you only say thank you

lol

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

Fair enough Well don’t worry when I’ve sent my compliment I won’t fish for more messages if you only say thank you

lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being polite didn’t hurt anyone

Just don’t reply when they think the green light has been given

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can ignore or just block but I’ve got no life and plenty of time so I just reply with

Thank you but if you read our profile then you will see you are not a good fit for us.

I do this because they are clearly not a good fit for us.

Best of luck.

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

"How about changing your profile text to say that you don't read any message without a face pic - that will massively reduce the number of compliment messages, and those that still send without an attachment you can delete without feeling rude. "
lol tried and it doesnt deter them as they never read it , they just look at the pics like i used to in comics before i learnt to read

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Don't respond if not interested on a physical attraction bassist, or just think that they're only complimenting you get into your knickers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they aren’t for you, have ignored your preferences on your profile and or make no effort then ignore/delete/block depending on how shit they’ve been

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

"If they aren’t for you, have ignored your preferences on your profile and or make no effort then ignore/delete/block depending on how shit they’ve been

"
rarely shitty if they was it would make things easier

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If they aren’t for you, have ignored your preferences on your profile and or make no effort then ignore/delete/block depending on how shit they’ve been

rarely shitty if they was it would make things easier"

Then it seems you have a choice between ignoring messages or replying with a thank you and a line saying something like "I will not be replying to further messages"

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"How about changing your profile text to say that you don't read any message without a face pic - that will massively reduce the number of compliment messages, and those that still send without an attachment you can delete without feeling rude. lol tried and it doesnt deter them as they never read it , they just look at the pics like i used to in comics before i learnt to read

Haha, just delete and block then, and don't worry if they throw their toys out of their pram

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yes I learnt to not engage if i am 100% I'm not interested as even saying you're not my type, I'm not interested gives them the green light. I'm sure some forget that they even had a conversation with you, especially when i change my profile photo. I just get constant copy and paste messages sent 3 to 10 times in a month. I love quality personal messages, not the unsolicited and plain "hi" "what you're doing" messages

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"If they aren’t for you, have ignored your preferences on your profile and or make no effort then ignore/delete/block depending on how shit they’ve been

rarely shitty if they was it would make things easier

Then it seems you have a choice between ignoring messages or replying with a thank you and a line saying something like "I will not be replying to further messages" "

I threaten them with "i will block you if you message again"... They can look but no engagement

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It does make you wonder doesn't it. We clearly state we arent interested in single guys. We still receive messages. We always reply but then they want to continue and turn the conversation sexual.

Why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’ve sent a message and seen it deleted I move on it’s not rocket science to work out that that person or couple are not interested

As people say we’re not all for everyone

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

I always try to be polite and reply even if they are of no interest to me. But even then I get

" aw shame cause I'd really like to fuck you".

"no thanks not interested"

"you sure? Cause I'd ride you like you've never been ridden before"

"I'm positive"

"fuck you then you cheeky wee skag, I'm sure your mother's proud of you, you Hiv Riddled whore"

And block lol

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I always try to be polite and reply even if they are of no interest to me. But even then I get

" aw shame cause I'd really like to fuck you".

"no thanks not interested"

"you sure? Cause I'd ride you like you've never been ridden before"

"I'm positive"

"fuck you then you cheeky wee skag, I'm sure your mother's proud of you, you Hiv Riddled whore"

And block lol "

This. Which is why it's probably best not to reply in the first place. Compliments can soon turn sour in my experience.

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By *reatformeat OP Woman
over a year ago

my own bubble

"I always try to be polite and reply even if they are of no interest to me. But even then I get

" aw shame cause I'd really like to fuck you".

"no thanks not interested"

"you sure? Cause I'd ride you like you've never been ridden before"

"I'm positive"

"fuck you then you cheeky wee skag, I'm sure your mother's proud of you, you Hiv Riddled whore"

And block lol

This. Which is why it's probably best not to reply in the first place. Compliments can soon turn sour in my experience. "

To be fair only ever had one nasty piece of shit on here who stalked me setting up differant accounts for when i blocked him and being really horrible to the point of sick , but thats a differant story lol. Most men are very polite even after a knockback x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I always try to be polite and reply even if they are of no interest to me. But even then I get

" aw shame cause I'd really like to fuck you".

"no thanks not interested"

"you sure? Cause I'd ride you like you've never been ridden before"

"I'm positive"

"fuck you then you cheeky wee skag, I'm sure your mother's proud of you, you Hiv Riddled whore"

And block lol

This. Which is why it's probably best not to reply in the first place. Compliments can soon turn sour in my experience.

Have you used message filters to block newbies and no profile pics? That may help. Sorry you've had to deal with this, I've had the same with people on here and when I've made the mistake of giving out my Kik and WhatsApp. I no longer do this, everything stays on fab.

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

Oh don't give out WhatsApp on here never have.

Don't use kik as much anymore either.

I joined a local couple group and it was great for a while and chatted to couples on there until slowly but surely it was all just male halves posting and then trying to get you to converse in private chats so I lost interest in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read the profile and only message accordingly.

I often dont get a response or have been auto blocked.

So I just smile and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone contacts, gives a compliment, i look at profile and if there's no interest I say thank you and move on. They may mail again, I take no notice.

Not complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you. Hope you find someone nice. X"

Subtle way of letting them know you aren't interested without being rude. Any further messages just delete them.

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By *oodgirlbadboyCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

We always try and be polite and reply even if it’s just a No thanks but like others have said it seems like us replying is a green light for them to message us again and again,

The only time we don’t reply is when they ask us a question that they would know the answer just by reading our profile.

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