FabSwingers.com forum: Are your messages boring

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Be honest.

Do you copy/paste because you can't be bothered?

Are they one liners?

Or are you creative?

What sort of a response do you get based on what you send?

Discuss.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I try to be creative and a little bit cheeky

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By *man013Man
over a year ago

Derby

I do try to be creative at times but I do have days where I do be a lazy bugger with copy paste after a few days of unsuccessful creative messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Try to be polite or a bit cheeky but same result .... fuck all

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By *rad_ell12Man
over a year ago

Brighouse

When I do send messages I try be as polite as I can and always write them fresh, very rare I do send messages at the minute though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t send out many messages, but the ones I do send tend to be creative.

The guys I actually respond to tend to be imaginative, polite and a little cheeky. And genuine compliments go a long way with me! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and be creative but seems they all go down like the Titanic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi"

What do you feed a gay horse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi"

All joking aside I usually just ask them to show me their knickers and my response rate is pretty phenomenal to be honest...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t send out many messages, but the ones I do send tend to be creative.

The guys I actually respond to tend to be imaginative, polite and a little cheeky. And genuine compliments go a long way with me! X"

Hello, we don't appear to have met...

Sounds like you're taking the right approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

What do you feed a gay horse? "

Is he hung like a donkey?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well you want to be polite and respectfull. a lot of women say "Dont be boring" or "Dont say hey how are you" but they also say "Dont be rude" "be respectfull" and its a bit awkward popping up complimenting them so its hard to find the right things to say in my opinion. i always sey "Hey how are you" and get nothing so maybe am just fugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never copy/paste. Creative. One liners are rare or quick response when needed. Replies are a mixture... ranging from creative, funny, essays

or quick short ones.

All good as the conversation flows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s say could do better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I join this place my messages were one liners lol

Now after I spend some time around

Start paying attention at people's bio and trying to create something which will attract the person who I'm texting to

And to be honest the ignorance is still there ,but not that bad like the start

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

I try to write the most boring vanilla messages that I can think off, that way if I do get a reply doesn’t matter what I say after they’re going to be impressed regardless! Lol

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Most of my messages are either to people I already know or sparked off the back of a forum post - the latter type either flow or fizzle.

I've not sent a completely cold message in about 3 years I don't think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody reads messages anyway. You can spend ages writing the most imaginative message in the world, and it will be "Unread" or "Unread - Deleted".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be interesting or at least not a bore with a "hi howre you?"

But when they are never read or just deleted then why bother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never copy and paste, always try to base my message around the receiver's profile, always polite and honest, very very rarely get a response although today I got a lovely response off a very seemingly special lady!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of a mixture for me. I get fed up writing messages for people to not even reply.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

It's exhausting writing original and creative messages so I try and be selective..may be a comment on their profile or something they said in a forum...

I get quite a good response rate and chat to a fair few people ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Huh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's exhausting writing original and creative messages so I try and be selective..may be a comment on their profile or something they said in a forum...

I get quite a good response rate and chat to a fair few people ...

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Is there an echo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t recall ever copying and pasting a message; I always write something based on either profile content, forum posts or chat room conversations.

I always start with a ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ and at least half the time open with something that breaks the ice but leads into the rest of the message.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

"Is there an echo "

Echo, echo, echo , echo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its safe to say ... this is a male thing. i see women posting. "Going through my messages today, gonna take a while". the male to female ratio is rough haha. i think i would rather a woman say why she isnt interested rather then just blank but again they proably have hundreds of messages to get through so its probably easier for them to delete in bulk

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By *illiamMeetsMan
over a year ago

sunnyside

I've never used copy and paste, always try to pick up on something a profile after a couple of reads. Or quote the keyword in message headline.

Only use a one liner if it's to compliment and they are hours or few miles and miles away so no chance to meet.

Tend to be creative after few exchanges.

Responses tend to be short and few words. Many of course don't get opened. Just the way it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never used copy and paste, always try to pick up on something a profile after a couple of reads. Or quote the keyword in message headline.

Only use a one liner if it's to compliment and they are hours or few miles and miles away so no chance to meet.

Tend to be creative after few exchanges.

Responses tend to be short and few words. Many of course don't get opened. Just the way it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a mixture of responses. My post tonight had zero but my last few had plenty. My advice is keep posting....about 200 a day should do it. They cant ignore you then

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By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

It seems many do not like people who are not creative message writers. ' Originality' is the keyword. Trouble is there is a limit to how many times you can be original in a message in one evening . Especially given the ratio of 'returns' on here for single guys etc.

So I have changed my thinking about this recently ( without success but hey I spend less time typing!). Initially, everyone gets the generic message of the day. If you take the trouble to reply you a well thought through, witty, intelligent even thought-provoking one back ., Frankly, life I think is just too short to sit and pen individual messages to people all-day.

Not too short to make an effort once someone replies I guess. However, I can see the validity in some of the guys' comments on here. I don't think you can blame people who after sitting writing for 15 minutes don't even get a reply and just change a few bits and try someone else.

This is why I think 'winks ' work you create interest and read a profile and then reply. If it shows a spark great keep going. If not move on.

I think if people can say ' no reply /delete' is the same as no thank you. Then people should be able to write generic' hello' messages and see if they will go further out not. My thoughts anyway on the subject

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By *ushy 99Man
over a year ago

somewhere nearby

I dont copy and paste. Normally just a polite opening message leading into something cheeky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont copy and paste. Normally just a polite opening message leading into something cheeky.I dont copy and paste. Normally just a polite opening message leading into something cheeky.I dont copy and paste. Normally just a polite opening message leading into something cheeky.I dont copy and paste. Normally just a polite opening message leading into something cheeky.

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By *ourney100Man
over a year ago

South East

I try and be creative and make it relevant to their bio, but when you repeatedly read on women's status's that they bulk delete it kinda makes you think what's the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine are probably boring to be honest, rare I send one to be fair though lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never copy and paste and I try to be creative.

If I get a reply it's usually a one worder or an emoji.

Where do you go from there

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By *illiamMeetsMan
over a year ago

sunnyside

"I never copy and paste and I try to be creative.

If I get a reply it's usually a one worder or an emoji.

Where do you go from there

Move on to next person of interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be honest.

Do you copy/paste because you can't be bothered?

Are they one liners?

Or are you creative?

What sort of a response do you get based on what you send?

Discuss. "

(copy/quoted that -doesnt count)

answer: no to copy and paste. each message and opportunity to reply will be unique to other individual. response received hmmm thats just a whole 'nother kettle. all depends on their general mood or sociabiliteeeeeee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never copy and paste and I try to be creative.

If I get a reply it's usually a one worder or an emoji.

Where do you go from there

Your post just reminded me... omg this is going back a while... only ever happened once. A woman used to reply mainly with an emoji and the odd text now and again... she turned out to be a sycophant! Dodgy character...

Move on sharp'ish.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Be honest.

Do you copy/paste because you can't be bothered?

Are they one liners?

Or are you creative?

What sort of a response do you get based on what you send?

Discuss. "

Lost me at discuss

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"It seems many do not like people who are not creative message writers. ' Originality' is the keyword. Trouble is there is a limit to how many times you can be original in a message in one evening . Especially given the ratio of 'returns' on here for single guys etc.

The thing is though - would you really sit and pen message after message in the hope of a reply? Do you not think that would suggest you're not particularly selective and are just taking a scatter gun approach in the hope of getting a reply, any reply.

Personally I don't send cold messages, and tend to rely on sparking conversations from forum posts and similar, but if I was sending cold messages I certainly wouldn't be penning "individual messages to people all-day" or even all evening - I'd take my time and pick people out to approach as individuals and really can't imagine that would be any more than a couple of messages a week if that, and would want to make them as appealing as possible.

I think one of the problems many guys face on here is adopting the wrong approach and expectations and making everything about meeting - when perhaps taking a more laid back approach would be less frustrating and may actually improve their experience and perceptions of the site.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Be honest.

Do you copy/paste because you can't be bothered?

Are they one liners?

Or are you creative?

What sort of a response do you get based on what you send?

Discuss. "

I never copy and paste. I never send a one line message. I always tailor my messages to the profile. I try and use humour in my message. I think my silly sense of humour gets me replies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi

What do you feed a gay horse?

Is he hung like a donkey?

Haaaaaaay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nobody reads messages anyway. You can spend ages writing the most imaginative message in the world, and it will be "Unread" or "Unread - Deleted"."

We read all of our messages. If they're one liners, have a one line profile or couples profile and no pics of the male then we swerve.

Appreciate that men get a rough deal but some will stand our more than others

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Nobody reads messages anyway. You can spend ages writing the most imaginative message in the world, and it will be "Unread" or "Unread - Deleted".

We read all of our messages. If they're one liners, have a one line profile or couples profile and no pics of the male then we swerve.

Appreciate that men get a rough deal but some will stand our more than others "

The thing is though - do men get a "rough deal"? I'm not sure we do, yes being a single male profile has it's challenges, but then so does a single female profile, a couples profile and a TV/TS one - they're all different challenges of course but none are "tougher" than the others.

Ultimately it all comes down to how you face those challenges whichever category you fall under.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

We'd love some creative messages, but that doesn't mean being creative with dick pictures!

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By *winging_couple300Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Unfortunately I would say our messages are quite boring in a swinging context, we’re not just here to have sex and tend to lean towards relationship building rather than the nitty gritty.

Kind of a slow and steady couple really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very rarely send a first message. I tried lots of different ways to garner interest but with almost no success. I had a bit of success in the chat rooms but it only led to meeting once in four years. When I found the forum I found a way to show more of my personality and in a matter of a few days had more interest than I’d had in four years. All of it came from women approaching me. So while I do send initial messages from time to time, almost all my female friends in here approached me first.

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By *attoo.GentMan
over a year ago

Electric Avenue

I never copy and paste.

I always look at the pictures and read the profile, and then try to aim the message at that profile specifically, making it more 'personal'.

I still dont seem to get replies mind!

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By *Wman15Man
over a year ago

Stevenage

I'm a naturally chatty individual and I always feel a slight sense of disappointment when a message I send is either ignored or garners a one word answer

But I'm realistic enough to understand that many people simply don't have the time to respond or are effectively telling me that I'm not for them

I don't expect to meet everyone O message - sometimes a chat is all that's wanted

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.

I tend to write messages that are unique to whomever I'm interested in. If the reply is a oneliner then I'll keep it short & sweet, if it's more wordy then I'll put more effort in.

With some couples it's like getting blood out of a stone with some of their responses. Had one message (first message from them) that consisted of just two names and an x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer the Joey.

Hey, how you doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll make sure to read everyone’s profile, to understand what they’re looking for then tailor a message to that - you know like a CV

So always have information on your profile, it just makes it much easier to be creative!

Another thing is - it’s not a numbers game for me, I don’t need to sleep with lots of women. I just want to sleep with the right one. Quality Quantity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never done a cut and paste message.

I always send a specific message to the person about what ever it is about there profile that caught my eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t send out many messages, but the ones I do send tend to be creative.

The guys I actually respond to tend to be imaginative, polite and a little cheeky. And genuine compliments go a long way with me! X

Hello, we don't appear to have met...

Sounds like you're taking the right approach

Quality over quantity lovely! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be honest.

Do you copy/paste because you can't be bothered?

Are they one liners?

Or are you creative?

What sort of a response do you get based on what you send?

Discuss. "

I write well thought out, creative and interesting messages based on the exact criteria of peoples profiles and whether I think we'll be a good match.

The vast majority are never read or instantly deleted, the ones that are read, are mostly never replied to, the occasional response generally comes to nothing - every now & then something interesting and worthwhile will come of it.

The hit rate (for want of a better phrase) on this site for guys is super low. Just to be clear I'm not complaining as I have met lots of people from here over the years.

I would say that about 9 out of 10 well written, well thought out messages go nowhere. Most guys write bullshit messages so I can only imagine what their response levels are like.

It's also worth noting that I like to get to know people, which for some on here is a no no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read the profile first and link my message to what they have put in their profile. It shows that a) I have taken the time to make sure I match their requirements and b)it shows I've taken time to write a proper e-mail, based upon what they are looking for. I try and keep it short at first, but not too short and throw in a bit of humour/cheek.

I don't send many messages to be fair as I like to spend a bit of time composing each message. I never copy and paste.

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

Look at the responses to this thread. Meither men or the odd couple

When messaging new people. Most blokes are doing the same.

Be polite add some humour and try to stand out... I stick to that and dont overthink my messages.

Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look at the responses to this thread. Meither men or the odd couple

When messaging new people. Most blokes are doing the same.

Be polite add some humour and try to stand out... I stick to that and dont overthink my messages.

Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't

This is a fair point - messages need to reflect profiles. Sometimes a short profile only requires a short message to appear interesting to the person receiving it.

Personally I find that boring, so I don't bother!

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By *nnnikCouple
over a year ago

Walsall

I try to be polite, but there's so many uptight people on this site they need to get laid lol but if they can't take a hint, my block list is massive

Titch xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O ly if you read them backwards

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I very, very rarely message anyone cold. I think I've done it on three occasions the whole time I've been on here. Two were ignored, and one elicited a short conversation that didn't go anywhere.

I've also messaged three people in response to threads or games in the forum. One read with no reply, one polite refusal, and one conversation that was nice but didn't go anywhere.

Three responses and two conversations from six messages. I think that's actually pretty good for a single man on here.

Every message I send is unique and tailored to the recipient. I think very carefully about what I say. I base it on what's in their profile, or something they've said on the forum. I try to be polite and respectful, and to express interest without slipping over into being yet another thirsty internet dude.

I do worry about sounding dry or disinterested, but I'd prefer that to making anyone uncomfortable.

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