FabSwingers.com forum: Why are we struggling to meet a female???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We know that we may be lining ourselfs up here but maybe some single females or couples could tell us where were going wrong.

We were hoping to find a female for a night of fun but have had no luck in 10 months and many messages sent out. We are very close to giving up on fabs.

Please could you guys maybe give us some tips on where we may be going wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are no experts but finding a single female is fairly difficult anyway as they are very few and far between it's easier to find a couple with a bi fem maybe that's what you should try

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Just a suggestion - get yourself photo verified (just in case you are being mistaken as a single-male-posing-as-a-couple).

As looks ok to me. Nice photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can only speak from my own experiences but i have met a few couples in the past where things have not gone to plan, ive been in the middle of domestics, had one get jealous, been used as a scape goat when things go tits up for them and rather than admit they wasnt ready for a 3rd party in their sex life found it easier to blame me, these are the reasons i do not meet couples because to be blunt meeting single guys is just easier and less hassle, to be honest when meeting couples i find im on edge all the time and feeling like im treading on egg shell and it spoils the fun so for that reason im out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

from a single females point of view, and its ur specific target...maybe some pics of the male half??- I like ur profile and its nice pics...but u should(and most couples should if they are seeking the 'opposite gender')at least have some of u's together.

and the club option is great...slowly introduce urselves, let Mrs take charge possibly (as male halves of couples sometime have the knck of saying something stupid like "my wife would like to play with u!"(only comes across as what 'he' wants lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think your profile is honest and sets out what YOU want. If I were a bi woman I'd want to know what would be the advantage for ME.

Why would I meet you over meeting another bi fem alone or a bi couple where I'd get a shag too rather than to sit back and watch you two.

There maybe a woman who's a voyeur out for soft girl on girl fun.

I trust you find her.

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By *eet_the_spartanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

If you messaged my partner or I, we would most likely ignore the message as you aren't photo verified which is a minimum requirement in our opinion for real couple profiles. A meeting in person veri or two is always a bonus too, even if that meeting is just for drink with another fab member.

Good luck

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

If I was a single woman looking at your profile I would have alarm bells ringing- the photos don't look "real" your only veris is a woman by phone who unfortunately has hidden her profile - so it just looks a little suspicious - just saying how I see it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like they said... more verifications, perhaps some club nights may help get known.

then perfect profile, perfect pictures, and lots of luck...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Replying as a single female . I agree the photos u have are not clear and there only of the female. Plus if i was to meet a cpl i prefer to both be involved rather than just be part of a show. Just my preference mind. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Replying as a single female . I agree the photos u have are not clear and there only of the female. Plus if i was to meet a cpl i prefer to both be involved rather than just be part of a show. Just my preference mind. Good luck

Thanks for your feed back. We would just like to say that if we find a female she will most certainly NOT be part of a show.

This is a three way thing and we would hope that if anything the female would be paid more attention than the pair of us put together lol!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the feed back from all. In relation to our photos I am a amatuer photographer and we decided that we wanted to post classy artistic photos on opposed to explicit ones ( not that we dont have any lol ). We hoped that we may stand out more so than just the norm but seems to be having the adverst effect lol. We will most certainly get photo varie before we give up to help prove that we are real.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Thanks for your feed back. We would just like to say that if we find a female she will most certainly NOT be part of a show.

This is a three way thing and we would hope that if anything the female would be paid more attention than the pair of us put together lol!

Agree with the lady above, but regarding the show, although I love pussy, I do like to get a damn good fuck off the fella too, so soft swing wouldn't be my thing.....your photos are a bit blurry - look almost "pinched" to me - and no pics of the fella....your only veri is a phone veri so soz but I'd still be a bit suss of that....good luck

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

may be a typo error but you state "We MAY consider a couple with the male also happy to watch then own partners" which as read suggests the male of the other couple would only get to watch (which could be interpretted but yr male can play though)

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

""We MAY consider a couple with the male also happy to watch then own partners" "

should have highlighted it was yr use of male in the singular rather than the plural

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""We MAY consider a couple with the male also happy to watch then own partners"

should have highlighted it was yr use of male in the singular rather than the plural"

Thanks for pointing that out. We have amended it for confusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had a quick look and the part that says 'Tom is only available for hand and mouth action' screams of hassle to me. I'd be on edge in case you were watching him like a hawk...I've had this before. Come and play with us then it all goes tits up cos a line gets crossed. I don't generally meet couples as they have too many do's & dont's. Just sayin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading your profile, I notice that the female is a novice, so how will I be satisfied?

That added to all the other terms and conditions would make it an easy decision to pass by and look for my fun elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Morning All,This is Sam writting this reply,We are a couple who have been together for 8yrs,I have always been attracted to females but have never acted on it.As it says in our profile for our first swinging experience we wanted to see if i would be able to fulful my yearning to be with another women but as we are a couple wanted to do this together and not put on a show for tom or me being pressurized by him.

I think we might not fully understand what BI fems are looking for,as we thought if you were bi you enjoyed going with both sexes not always at the same time lol. So thought a bi fem who didnt mind meeting couples would be happy with fem play but also wouldnt mind the male half joining in to pleasure both with hands,mouth,toys ect without full penertration. As for me being a newbie we all have to have our first expierence at some point and i am a very sexual lady who loves to please in the bedroom so feel the other lady would not leave dissappointed.

Also after first intital messages if there is a click we always send photos of both of us and happy for phone contact asap to confirm we are genuine.

Thanks to you all that have replyed.

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By *ady n the trampCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

just wanted to say that this couple are genuine and we have spoken to both of them for about 6 months. as for the pictures tom is a very talented photographer who has actually improved some of our pics in our private section. we are sure that once s and t have had there first meet more will quickly follow. just remember guys, we all started somewhere

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Give up if it becomes tedious searching for the hows,whys and what fors. We have. No longer interests us. We respect the amount of choice they have and the decisions on whom they come to. To be frank it just isn't (for us) worth all the time and energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know that we may be lining ourselfs up here but maybe some single females or couples could tell us where were going wrong.

We were hoping to find a female for a night of fun but have had no luck in 10 months and many messages sent out. We are very close to giving up on fabs.

Please could you guys maybe give us some tips on where we may be going wrong!"

I've met lots of bi-fems and as other posters have said a lot feel like they're walking into a potential minefield meeting with couples in case of jealousy or other issues and also to some extent feel outnumbered if anything goes wrong, so for this reason prefer to stick to single guys, other single ladies, or a combination of the two for threesomes etc.

The situation that changes this is to a degree is at a party as singles attend these and due to the numbers there I can understand a single lass feeling safer. You might have more luck if you instead look to be invited to one of these types of events that caters for your tastes and you will certainly break the ice so to speak with single bi-fems who want to pursue fun with you in another setting in future when there is only the three of you present.

I do agree you should have pics of both of you however as folk like to know exactly what they're getting...

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

frankly, bi single girls are everywhere, you just have to know where to look. Quick few questions.

1) in the last 12 months how many clubs have you been to ?

2) how many nights out have you had in bristol / exeter / plymouth / barnstaple ?

3) how good are you at talking to strangers ?

4) apart from this site, where else do you look.

Like other people have said, your profile isn't doing much of the ground work for you. In my experience the vast majority of girls i have met are bi to some degree or another, i think it is down to femine kinship more than wanton lust, and it is very easy to engage with that aspect of femine sexuality if you know how.

Infact the only girlfriend i have had who was straight was my ex wife, wtf was i thinking ? x x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I was a single woman looking at your profile I would have alarm bells ringing- the photos don't look "real" your only veris is a woman by phone who unfortunately has hidden her profile - so it just looks a little suspicious - just saying how I see it

+1 - and the photos are far too arty! Just 'normal' ones of yourselves would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like yourselves and so many others we thought the single bi female was an impossibility !!

Then a month ago we met two in two separate nights - one on bi night while her fella enjoyed mm fun we had the pleasure of her company for the night , and will be meeting her again and the other similarly whilst her fb was busy elsewhere - so don't give up - try clubs and good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know that we may be lining ourselfs up here but maybe some single females or couples could tell us where were going wrong.

We were hoping to find a female for a night of fun but have had no luck in 10 months and many messages sent out. We are very close to giving up on fabs.

Please could you guys maybe give us some tips on where we may be going wrong!"

Firstly, you are specifically looking for fems. You really need to sharpen up your spelling and grammar (sorry to sound like your school teacher!) - Ladies are VERY hot on that and just that alone could put them off reading past the first line. eg; 'woman' is ONE woman, 'women' is more than one.

Secondly, and as someone else has said, you will stand MUCH more chance finding someone at a club than via FS or any other site. Put yourself in the girls position - she would be leaving herself wide open to all kinds of bad situations given the scenario you are presenting.

Sorry to be so critical, but you did ask.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We know that we may be lining ourselfs up here but maybe some single females or couples could tell us where were going wrong.

We were hoping to find a female for a night of fun but have had no luck in 10 months and many messages sent out. We are very close to giving up on fabs.

Please could you guys maybe give us some tips on where we may be going wrong!

Sorry to be so critical, but you did ask..... :-

Thanks for pointing out the grammer issue. Never was my strong point. Also we are also sure that the club option would be the way forward.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well we have added a couple of other pictures that are not so arty to see if that may make any difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well we have added a couple of other pictures that are not so arty to see if that may make any difference.

they are ok...but sometimes just the simple edits will work, for me googles picasa is great...use the boost feature(and tone it down if its too much), I also like photoshop for the more complex stuff.

I'd say just remember its nice to see a nice clear body also, too much fuzz/haze/blur me thinks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well we have added a couple of other pictures that are not so arty to see if that may make any difference.

I'd say just remember its nice to see a nice clear body also, too much fuzz/haze/blur me thinks"

Thanks for your view. Photoshop is what I use mainly to frame and write on them.

I do like the gentle blur added though but understand that most of the people on Fabs prefer the amatuer style pics as ours dont seem get fabbed that much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt say people on fab like more amateur pics. There are some lovely arty pics that get fabbed loads. But yours dont show anything of you at all. I am not saying they got to be explicit exactly but yours really dont grab my attention

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

your biggest problem is you still only have only one verification from an anonymous woman by phone which you had when you first joined - despite being on here 10 months it would help if you met someone socially at least to verify you were a real couple

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i honestly done think veri's are the beall and endall to meeting on here.

i think having good pics (not arty, but ones that actually show what you look like, not an elbow, or the back of your left knee lol) and having a grasp of what is possible.

as you have seen, there are plenty of bi females that dont want to do one on one meets with a couple, as they also like to get a bit of a bang during the night (we have the same problem as yourselves as we dont go further than soft.

i personally think you should change your premis and happily meet a soft couple, there are loads, that way, at least everyone will be engaged, and no one will be left wanting at the end of the night.

that is unless the male of the couple isnt comfortable around another naked man (have spoken to another couple on here that is so).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well ive took a quick look and can give some suggestions i think some people may have touched on already why its hard for you and your profile:-

its because they are hard to get hold of anyways so your on uphill battle to start with as they are usually quite choosey, after all if they dont want to have sex with a man and a woman at the same time, they would usually meet either another lass or another guy on their own - i think most bi lasses dont want to be in the situation where its a case of you can play with the female but you cant play with the bloke (he's mine keep off!)

your guys limited to what he can do in terms of penetration, this normally can be a alarm bell for hints of jealousy when couples allow only one to fully play but dont allow the other, which as a single you have to avoid if you dont want an awkward meet

pictures are good but none what show who is on offer, ideally you would want to see the man and woman in as much detail as possible if you wanted to play with them both, your photos are fine but maybe some which show the mr and mrs figure at least would help you alot

taking photographs can be off putting for alot of people

bdsm and kinky play could be all sorts, a lass not very kinky or dead confident at meeting couples might be put off by that too even though its obviousily not obligatory

really if your profile wants to attract them to contact you then it should make them think phroarr i want to play with them, but you seem to hold your cards close to your chest so they probs move onto the next couple who are messaging them who have everything on display and she knows before getting into converstaion that they are someone she is interested in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i honestly done think veri's are the beall and endall to meeting on here.

i think having good pics (not arty, but ones that actually show what you look like, not an elbow, or the back of your left knee lol) and having a grasp of what is possible.

i personally think you should change your premis and happily meet a soft couple, there are loads, that way, at least everyone will be engaged, and no one will be left wanting at the end of the night.

that is unless the male of the couple isnt comfortable around another naked man (have spoken to another couple on here that is so)."

yeah meeting a soft play couple wanting similar would be 10x easier i think

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

well it's been 3 days since they were advised to get photo verified at least and yet they still haven't. Most guys won't meet an unverified couple so why expect a single woman, concerned about her safety, to meet one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well it's been 3 days since they were advised to get photo verified at least and yet they still haven't. Most guys won't meet an unverified couple so why expect a single woman, concerned about her safety, to meet one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to all that replied. We have decided that fans is not for us and the chances of meeting a compatible female is pretty slim so we shall be closing our account tonight.

Happy swinging and play safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When something doesnt work for you its always best to move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh dear,

as a sinlge guy well verid and known in the clubs i was about to invite them to a bi night in a local ish club. offer to meet them before for a social of they wanted. And to take them on the strict understanding i would not play with them. i have 3 single bi fems that might have wanted to come with us as well if they liked their profile.

But they sulked instead.

Xxx

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"oh dear,

But they sulked instead.

Xxx"

thats a little unfair.

would you be sticking around if you didnt get what you wanted?

of course not, so why should they.

things were suggested that they werent prepared, or able, to do, so it really is best that they move on and re evaluate what they want, or dont.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"oh dear,

But they sulked instead.

Xxx"

We would have been very flattered with the offer but we think you seem to be missing the point.

We joined fabs in the hope of having a private meet. We know that if we went to a couple of clubs the chances are that we would find what were looking for but we thought that we would give this a go first.

Single females on this site must have thur mail boxes full on a daily basis so they are spoilt for choice.

so as we have been her a while decided its to move on.

Is that really sulking???

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"oh dear,

But they sulked instead.

Xxx

We would have been very flattered with the offer but we think you seem to be missing the point.

Single females on this site must have thur mail boxes full on a daily basis so they are spoilt for choice.

so as we have been her a while decided its to move on.

Is that really sulking???

tried to pm you there, but you have your settings to site suporters only.

thats probably not helping communication lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who mentioned anything about playing in the club ? I would suggest i did the exact opposite. You seem to have been a bit presumptious there. I thought you might like the oppourtunity to socialise, meet, chat, and generally get to know some more experienced people who might be able to put you on the right path to achieving something you so far appear not to achieved.

I wasn't offering a dial'a'fuck service......

And yes announcing you are leaving, with a time, and then coming back does look like a sulk.

I think given your profile, the comments made, and some of your responses you might have missed the subtle aspects of swinging...

Good luck with your search x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single bi fem and also part of a couple I totally understand it can be hard to find bi females we have the same problem but we don't give up. From a single fem I do get a lot of posts from couples. I have not yet met a couple on my own but is looking to find the right ones. I personally when I do meet a couple want to have fun with both and go all the way I'm not into the men watching, and if I wanted fun with just a female I would just meet a female. There are lots of females that are part of a couple like myself that play alone. I think being honest is important so u stated that hubby will watch and hand and mouth jobs to the bloke, so least you are honest. We have had fun with females in the clubs and its been amazing. I wouldn't give up just yet. Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a social night out. Look at meets/ events and attend one and get photo verified all this will help good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the feed back from all. In relation to our photos I am a amatuer photographer and we decided that we wanted to post classy artistic photos on opposed to explicit ones ( not that we dont have any lol ). We hoped that we may stand out more so than just the norm but seems to be having the adverst effect lol. We will most certainly get photo varie before we give up to help prove that we are real.

In that case, in the line where it says

"Tom is also a amatuer photographer..."

Change it to:

"Tom is also an amateur photographer, hence the pictures on our profile and he is happy to take some tasteful...."

Take out the line that says Tom is only available for..., the word only implies that is all he does. Take the word maybe out of the previous sentence as that implies its girl on girl fun and not a 3 sum, hence I agree with some of the comments that girl on girl fun is all you are looking for.

Take out the line about fakes, there are a lot of bi ladies on here but you just need to do what has been suggested. For me, you are too far and a bit young, in fact that's a point too, what age group are you interested in? Good luck

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

they obviously couldn't wait any longer

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By *oupleup4funCouple
over a year ago

Ashton

Maybe because you are no longer on the forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In that case, can all the Bi-Single females who were about to contact the OP please contact us instead

Male role varies from fetching the wine and cooking dinner, to full involvement, depends on you really.... usually ends up with me fetching the wine and cooking dinner anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In that case, can all the Bi-Single females who were about to contact the OP please contact us instead

Male role varies from fetching the wine and cooking dinner, to full involvement, depends on you really.... usually ends up with me fetching the wine and cooking dinner anyway

Ooh me me two hands up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"usually ends up with me fetching the wine and cooking dinner anyway

ahh thats why u need another female for kitchen duty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* crosses Robbie off the christmas card list.*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes a change for someone who threatens to leave, to actualy leave!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"It makes a change for someone who threatens to leave, to actualy leave!"

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

"It makes a change for someone who threatens to leave, to actualy leave!"

he'll be back under new profile

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