FabSwingers.com forum: Fab journeys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone find their confidence and self esteem has grown a lot from being on fab? Just thinking of the stuff I used to worry about seems so silly now... I've never had a boyfriend so my sex life has always been sporadic. I'd had a handful of random hook-ups throughout uni but when I joined the famous fetish website 2 years ago I'd just broken an 18 month period of celibacy (I'd tried many times with a couple of different guys but for some reason I seemed to have a mental block on sex) and I felt incredibly self conscious. I remember trying my hardest to find photo angles which hid my flabby belly and made my boobs look more pert. I'd only had sober sex once and felt self conscious as all hell throughout it.

Fast forward to now and I feel fierce as hell even though I'm not at "goal weight" or whatever that means. In fact, someone I said no to earlier messaged me back with "jelly belly" and for a moment I totally forgot I'd rejected him and thought he meant it as a good thing!

I've removed all filters from my photos and the ones I send out are taken from very realistic angles. I don't even take a bottle of wine to meets anymore which is a big step for me. Obviously this is not JUST down to fab; I've also surrounded myself with body positive role models like Lizzo and Christina Hendricks to name a few but I can't deny being on here and showing myself to the world has helped a lot. I still have to wear some sort of lingerie during sex though, so for me my next step would be to get to the point where I feel comfortable being fully naked in front of someone, which I think will also give me the confidence to be able to try out some new positions.

Adversely though, I do think fab has given me a lot of trust issues. Having my time wasted on so many occasions, especially after sending nudes, has made me really impatient. For example if I can see someone has read my message on here, kik or WhatsApp and hasn't replied even after a couple of hours I can't help but immediately assume they are a timewaster and tend to get a lot more frustrated than I probably should. I've also implemented a "no nudes before meeting" rule which has probably cost me quite a few meets but really, were these men worth meeting anyway? I have a feeling I will also have a lot of trust issues should I eventually get into a relationship as I've seen how easy it is for men to cheat on their partners and wives on here (and women too I'm sure but obviously I haven't been on the receiving end of cheating women). There's also the question of whether someone really fancies you or is just looking for anything with a pulse. Again, to combat this I've eliminated all sex talk until we've at least chatted for a while and gotten to know each other but I can see how this is quite hard to justify on a swinging site. So fab is a double edged sword in those regards but all in all I don't think I'd be half as confident if I hadn't joined up, so thanks fab!

Does anyone else have a "journey" they want to share?