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Advice about current girlfriend

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

So ill just start off with i used to be on this site adges ago before the relationship, but i figured this would be the best place to ask....in private without friends/people who know us knowing. bare with me, apoligies if its long winded.

My current girl friend is amazing.....love her with every inch, dont want to move on.

She is always worried that she isnt giving me enough sex/ everything around it.

Shes a proper worryer by nature and shes even more worried as i had this problem with my ex (turned out she was cheating) but thats another story.

She has kidney issues which result in the medication giving her uti's or thrush. Which in turn again .....less sex.

The sex when we have it is amazing, we both get amazing pleasure from it and even though she knows im paranoind about it. She asures me constantly and tells me its not cause im bad in bed or anything. She says she is worried as she just doesent get the "urge"as often as we used to and she doesent feel her self. Has anybody ever had any similar experience with this sort of thing as currently i feel like im sat in a ball guilt for even wanting to have sex (unfortunetaly pretty overly horny guy) and feel that i should have to supress everything i feel as i dont want her to feel bad. We are both very inlove and she is even thinking about a sex therapist in a chance to find out what has changed in her.

Sorry if this comes out terrible, not great at explaining things

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're communicating with each other, that's the best thing you can do. Go to her gp together (after the current crisis) and explain the issue. Reassure her that it's a joint concern not just hers to sort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what you're asking is...is there some other way you can get your dick wet and spunk up a load

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"So what you're asking is...is there some other way you can get your dick wet and spunk up a load"

Lol

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

Not at all, i am asking has anybody, woman mainly or a man in my situation, that has had the same situation and how did you manage to resolve the situation, or help each other through it.

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

We always comunicate its the biggest thing in our relationship she did go to the local gp before all covid situation and they couldnt find anything wrong at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not at all, i am asking has anybody, woman mainly or a man in my situation, that has had the same situation and how did you manage to resolve the situation, or help each other through it."

You need to find yourself a nympho obviously to keep up with your voracious shagging appetite

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

Totally the opposite of what this post was for. Not wanting the whole lads lads lads go cheat on her, she means the world and would do anything to strengthen our relationship ........even ask strangers on a swinging site......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally the opposite of what this post was for. Not wanting the whole lads lads lads go cheat on her, she means the world and would do anything to strengthen our relationship ........even ask strangers on a swinging site...... "

Does she know you're on here?

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales


"So what you're asking is...is there some other way you can get your dick wet and spunk up a load"

Jesus, leave the poor guy alone!

OP, we know a few couples where one half has a low sex drive due to one reason or other. Most anti depressants will suppress libido. It broke one couple up because the other half had a high sex drive and the pressure to perform really got to the other.

You're talking to her about it which is the main thing. Is there some middle ground that you both enjoy? Massages, watching porn together....? Would she be open to you meeting others for sex? One of our friends is allowed a FB because her partner has zero sex drive. Its not easy but it works for them so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange how there's absolutely no mention of her on your profile. Clearly you love her so much you're looking to cheat on her.

Maybe you should tell her that you're on a swinging site, maybe even show her you profile. Pretty sure she won't feel so bad about her low sex drive and, if anything, you might even find you'll be having even less sex with her.

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By *edandLouCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool


"We always comunicate its the biggest thing in our relationship she did go to the local gp before all covid situation and they couldnt find anything wrong at all"

Have you communicated to her that you use this site as a single male?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The guy is asking for advice not criticism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you're asking is...is there some other way you can get your dick wet and spunk up a load"

Okay Cathy Newman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that you guys seem to be communicating with each other is a total winner.

I don't have the solution I'm afraid. I know how frustrating it can be when you're in a relationship and your partner can't give you the type or frequency of sex you need. Chin up, mate.

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By *ildatheart6969Couple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

People go through moments.

Stress,anxiety, hormones all play a part.

Obviously it's not a great time to feel sexy when people think they're all going to die.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well maybe time to talk about anal sex. Not the ideal solution but maybe a temporary answer until you both sort out the medical problems

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

She knew i was on here before the relationship.....but for obvious reasons im not telling her im asking strangers on swinngers site about our sexlifes........

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

Ive literally come back on to ask this, havent looked at my profile, ill happily add her on now

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

Thank you very much for the advice and yes thats whay i feel like shes feeling, she feels pressure for it and i dont want it to be like that at all.....sex shouldnt have to be pressured it should be enjoyed

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By *orthernmanjames OP   Man
over a year ago

hexham

Many thanks for the advice and kind words people, just looking to find any way possible for her to be happier in the relationship.

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By *ubzero99Man
over a year ago

County Durham

This is why alot dont post in here.

Why this why that....Bunch of absolute melts.

Go to GP together.

Get some sort of therapy if you think its worth it.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem to have taken a lot of flak here, I think sometimes in life you just gotta believe someone and give them the benefit of the doubt. I reckon you're genuine mate, although I don't have much advice for you besides maybe trying to introduce new things in the bedroom. Good luck on your search for a solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, guy comes on for a bit of advice and gets slaughtered.. would love to see if a woman had asked for similar advice, i bet the responses would have been different

Back to the op, just keep doing what you're doing. Hopefully things will get better and at least she acknowledges its not perfect.

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

I’m not clear if it’s just the recurrent thrush that’s causing the lack of sex drive, or is it other things between the two of you? Is she intimidated by your history on fab? Is she feeling bad about the thrush problem (not that there’s a need to, of course).

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"So ill just start off with i used to be on this site adges ago before the relationship, but i figured this would be the best place to ask....in private without friends/people who know us knowing. bare with me, apoligies if its long winded.

My current girl friend is amazing.....love her with every inch, dont want to move on.

She is always worried that she isnt giving me enough sex/ everything around it.

Shes a proper worryer by nature and shes even more worried as i had this problem with my ex (turned out she was cheating) but thats another story.

She has kidney issues which result in the medication giving her uti's or thrush. Which in turn again .....less sex.

The sex when we have it is amazing, we both get amazing pleasure from it and even though she knows im paranoind about it. She asures me constantly and tells me its not cause im bad in bed or anything. She says she is worried as she just doesent get the "urge"as often as we used to and she doesent feel her self. Has anybody ever had any similar experience with this sort of thing as currently i feel like im sat in a ball guilt for even wanting to have sex (unfortunetaly pretty overly horny guy) and feel that i should have to supress everything i feel as i dont want her to feel bad. We are both very inlove and she is even thinking about a sex therapist in a chance to find out what has changed in her.

Sorry if this comes out terrible, not great at explaining things "

You mention she worries, that in itself can bring on thrush, second you mention kidney issues, if she has to take antibiotics and various other medications they too can bring on thrush.

A talk to the doctor may help though this may not be as easy as normal at this time as he/she should have the best solutions to the problem.

There are over the counter medications that do help but talk to the doctor first and using lubrication when you have sex will help too but be aware that could damage condoms if you use them for contraception.

We would suggest you need to reassure her by talking to her and by your display of your love for her to try to alleviate her worries, easier said than done but you sound as if you really want to try everything you can to help her, lessening her worry may work better than any medications

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Don't feel guilty about wanting sex, that's normal. Sounds like she wants more also so you both have that in common. Just make sure not to resent her for not being able to give you more or if these feelings arise then seek help for those.

Trying to work out why her sex drive has lowered is a good start coz then you can both work on that.

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By *ightowlingWoman
over a year ago

Near Taunton

Can't believe you're getting a hard time on here. It could be side effects from the medication or the fact she's got kidney issues and thrush/utis won't make someone feel sexy/horny. Just keep talking to eachother. You sound lovely. Maybe there's another med she can try if this one is giving her side effects?? If not, I hope the kidney issues improve, or you find a way to deal with this

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Google - tony robbins - saves a marriage in 8 minutes

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