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Getting into swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'm going to hazard a guess that if she didnt enjoy soft, she is not going to be turned on by the idea of you both fucking other people.

However, unless you ask her, you will never know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm going to hazard a guess that if she didnt enjoy soft, she is not going to be turned on by the idea of you both fucking other people.

However, unless you ask her, you will never know."

That’s what I thought but I’ve been thinking what if she wanted full swap but scared to tell me

Incase I say no and end things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm going to hazard a guess that if she didnt enjoy soft, she is not going to be turned on by the idea of you both fucking other people.

However, unless you ask her, you will never know.

That’s what I thought but I’ve been thinking what if she wanted full swap but scared to tell me

Incase I say no and end things "

If she didn't like soft swap and has said as much then it's pretty clear that doesn't want to go further and do full swap.

She tried it for you / her and it didn't work out for her and she has been honest enough to tell you, respect her decision that swinging isn't for her.

If swinging is that important to you then you may have to chose between her and swinging?

KJ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"

You need to sit down with her and talk about it. Otherwise you’ll never know and it’s best to be honest with each other .

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

You will have to be extremely cunning (joke).

When you say she enjoyed it at first, ask her what specifically she enjoyed. Build on that aspect.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm going to hazard a guess that if she didnt enjoy soft, she is not going to be turned on by the idea of you both fucking other people.

However, unless you ask her, you will never know.

That’s what I thought but I’ve been thinking what if she wanted full swap but scared to tell me

Incase I say no and end things "

You will never know what she's thinking by asking people on the internet. It's like the barista in your coffee shop asking on the fab forum what coffee their customer wants. The best way to discover what anybody wants, in any respect is to ask them.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"

Swinging is not for everyone. Can't see your profile but consider a sexual activity you don't like (guessing here but watersports / sex with a male / whatever).

You can't be made to like those things just as your girlfriend can't be made to like swinging. She may tolerate it or do it under duress for the sake of her relationship with you, but do you really want to make someone you love do that?

If she is not into swinging then I see you as having 5 choices.

Abstain - swinging is something you are happy to go without for the one you love (this is what people in committed relationships do all the time we sacrifice some independence for a collaborative working relationship)

Ask for permission - her reason for not liking swinging maybe entirely personal and she may have no issue with you going doing it given certain conditions (say safe sex for her protection) this is the flip side of you sacrificing for her.

Coercion - some people feel they have a right to enforce their will it's a choice but not one I would ever suggest but we all no some bastards (and bastardesses) do this.

Cheat - you respect her decision but can't live without swinging so you decide to hide it from her. Again I would never recommend this as I feel whilst not equivalent to coercion it comes in at a lower level of disrespect for the one you love as they are at risk without their knowledge or consent.

Leave her - swinging is too strong a draw for you but you respect the other individual and wish them well and try to find someone who is more sexually compatible.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Also kind of the wrong time to start swinging anyway.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Also kind of the wrong time to start swinging anyway. "

Very good reasoning, fully understand it.

"Swinging" is a very complex relationship and certainly not for everybody. Have just met someone is happy with it and fully participates.

Things slot into place. Complete contrast to my previous 1 on 1 relationships. One of them which lasted for 21 years broke up for while over the "swinging" issue....

As has been said time beyond number on here, very honest, open communication is the key...

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"I'm going to hazard a guess that if she didnt enjoy soft, she is not going to be turned on by the idea of you both fucking other people.

However, unless you ask her, you will never know.

That’s what I thought but I’ve been thinking what if she wanted full swap but scared to tell me

Incase I say no and end things

If she didn't like soft swap and has said as much then it's pretty clear that doesn't want to go further and do full swap.

She tried it for you / her and it didn't work out for her and she has been honest enough to tell you, respect her decision that swinging isn't for her.

If swinging is that important to you then you may have to chose between her and swinging?

KJ x "

This!!

Also, it’s not a great time for swinging just now!

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"

She doesn't want to, so don't try to force the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"

Simple, you don't.

She's tried it and decided it isn't for her. That's the end of it. Try and push it and you'll find yourself genuinely single

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

Op for any relationship to survive, let alone thrive in this world, you need to communicate with each other. If you can’t have open and frank conversations about wanting to swing and your boundaries then this can and probably will destroy your relationship!

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

Can safely say she is not going to continue. My wife and me went to clubs and played with others. She has now decided if we go to clubs it will be just her playing with me,she has no desire to have sex with some random guy. If I pushed it I can guarantee I will be getting used to being single again. She allows me to play on my own and fully respect her for that.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Relationships typically work with good communication and honesty.compromise and understanding/accepting each other are usual roo. Balls in your court op.

If you've agreed before to stop, why are you here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"
she didn't enjoy it so why would she want to change her mind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a girlfriend and we tried swinging soft swap only and she liked it at first and then she said after 3 months it’s not for me but I want to come back as a couple but do full swap but scared if I tell her this she will end our relationship how can I approach her to try full swap"

We have been doing this for 5 years and if my wife said it wasnt for her anymore then we wouldnt go full stop

Its something couples do together and enjoy together if they don't then you shouldn't do it . Simples .

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