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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me " Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out. | |||
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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out." (Didn’t see this, before I previously commented) Just sounds like he just wanted to get some kip, and only wanted the experience to be just sex, which is ok. | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? I never have any problem keep it up or getting hard. Don’t think it’s you . Obviously do make sure your clean trimmed and presentable. I am sure if he see you via pictures or a social meet 1st he knew what you look like or if there was an attraction 1st . Same for you too. If you didn’t like why continue to sex.. Probably his erectile disfunction . " Good advice here for ladies to keep well groomed etc.....make sure you do ladies..... | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? I never have any problem keep it up or getting hard. Don’t think it’s you . Obviously do make sure your clean trimmed and presentable. I am sure if he see you via pictures or a social meet 1st he knew what you look like or if there was an attraction 1st . Same for you too. If you didn’t like why continue to sex.. Probably his erectile disfunction . Good advice here for ladies to keep well groomed etc.....make sure you do ladies....." I've reached this age without manage to send a man screaming in horror with my un-groomed fanny hair | |||
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"Just a reminder that I don’t mind so much that he couldn’t keep it up. I’m looking for what other people do in a Fab one night stand situation when the guy can’t keep it hard. Do you ask “Is everything ok?” or do you let him play with your toys and pretend everything is fine?" I'd ask him if everything is ok then tell him to get my vibrator on me! | |||
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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out." Sounds like he needed sleep, you wore him out...bot difficult to be affectionate when your KO’d | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? I never have any problem keep it up or getting hard. Don’t think it’s you . Obviously do make sure your clean trimmed and presentable. I am sure if he see you via pictures or a social meet 1st he knew what you look like or if there was an attraction 1st . Same for you too. If you didn’t like why continue to sex.. Probably his erectile disfunction . Good advice here for ladies to keep well groomed etc.....make sure you do ladies....." This is so ridiculous, what does her grooming have to do with the guy's ED? | |||
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" That thought enters my mind on occasion and it puts me off sometimes because I end up respecting her so much that I can feel my cock standing down." So if you fuck them you don't respect them. Riiiiiight | |||
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"The thought of an overnight meet with a random stranger off the internet absolutely appalls me " Understand what you say and I would be a bit apprehensive too but what if it were to be a second or third meet and you both planned, agreed and wanted it that way...?? | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" who knows everyone reacts differently to these things, so you stayed overnight with someone youve not met before? maybe he didn't fancy you hardons are a result of sexual arousal, maybe he had stage fright, maybe he had a problem he hadn't let on about and maybe attack is the best form of defence, only you and he know | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry " 18 hours omg fake tanning now | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now " there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs " I've got ear defenders no worries | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs I've got ear defenders no worries " I slept with someone with a sleep apnea mask,so ear defenders may be a new kink for me | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs I've got ear defenders no worries I slept with someone with a sleep apnea mask,so ear defenders may be a new kink for me " ooo i think i saw one of them for the first time last night | |||
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"The thought of an overnight meet with a random stranger off the internet absolutely appalls me " Good for you! Thank goodness we’re not all after the same things! So much for a non-judgemental community... | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs I've got ear defenders no worries I slept with someone with a sleep apnea mask,so ear defenders may be a new kink for me ooo i think i saw one of them for the first time last night " Rather relaxing hearing the machine think it defended him hearing my snoring | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs I've got ear defenders no worries I slept with someone with a sleep apnea mask,so ear defenders may be a new kink for me ooo i think i saw one of them for the first time last night Rather relaxing hearing the machine think it defended him hearing my snoring " i find snoring quite therapeutic | |||
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"The thought of an overnight meet with a random stranger off the internet absolutely appalls me " Thank goodness we’re not all after the same things! So much for a non-judgemental community... | |||
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"I've not had this problem on a hotel meet as I generally meet guys I've met at a party,so found the chemistry already there I've met some new guys,and never had a problem with hard on's,just some don't actually cum,so they enjoy the play and fucking etc that's not unusual and never been a problem as they are very attentive Meeting guys for hotel meets,I tend to make sure there is a good connection and chemistry,so when we meet if he turns out to be a moody sod I would have to leave I am spending about 18 hours with them,so there is lots of time to relax,chat,foreplay,massage,use toys etc it's all about the chemistry 18 hours omg fake tanning now there is time to sleep in early hours I warn guys I snore so bring ear plugs I've got ear defenders no worries I slept with someone with a sleep apnea mask,so ear defenders may be a new kink for me ooo i think i saw one of them for the first time last night Rather relaxing hearing the machine think it defended him hearing my snoring i find snoring quite therapeutic " So do I I lay on my head on there chest | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? I never have any problem keep it up or getting hard. Don’t think it’s you . Obviously do make sure your clean trimmed and presentable. I am sure if he see you via pictures or a social meet 1st he knew what you look like or if there was an attraction 1st . Same for you too. If you didn’t like why continue to sex.. Probably his erectile disfunction . Good advice here for ladies to keep well groomed etc.....make sure you do ladies..... This is so ridiculous, what does her grooming have to do with the guy's ED? " A good reason for filters lol. | |||
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"Personally id never do overnight meet with a stranger. Men have many reasons some explained mostly unexplained. I have found on here.. The ones who boast all action.. Aren't. Some of the guys comments are good to read. Be safe" exactly sanitise after every text | |||
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"Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? Good advice here for ladies to keep well groomed etc.....make sure you do ladies..... ***This is so ridiculous, what does her grooming have to do with the guy's ED?*** " — Exactly! Thanks for pointing it out!! The question was “what to you do when ED happens”! I think 3 posts top addressed the actual question. Welcome to 2020! Let’s bin the actual question, invent a new one (WHY did it happen) and find new ways to make it the woman’s fault! She spent overnight with a stranger and surely doesn’t groom: that’s what I like so obviously everybody else does or should, and if anything goes wrong it has to be because that! I’m just stunned by the amount of narrow-mindedness and sanctimony (not to mention the number of people who can’t differentiate context and question) in a community where people choose to live outside of “the norm”. — | |||
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"It's a tough one OP and the answer lies with *both* people that are there - us guys are strange beasts at times and can get hang ups when all doesn't work as we think it should - out of embarrassment, shame, a misplaced sense of what it should be like and much more. There probably isn't a guy on here that it's not happened to at some stage in their life either - and for some reacting "coldly" is how they deal with it, out of shame, frustration and more. Thing is though with an understanding and caring partner, it really isn't the end of the world, and there is plenty more that can be done to still have a great time. It also doesn't help worrying about it, as it's a vicious circle, the more you worry, the more frustrating it gets and the less likely it is for something to happen. And I can totally understand a woman's perspective when it does happen as it's inevitable to wonder "Is it me?" when truth is it's actually neither of you. As for asking him about it - that's another difficult one, as asking may well highlight the problem further and just exacerbate it. Sometimes a simple "Hey it doesn't matter, let's have a cuddle and maybe a massage" is better, often the problem is just not being relaxed, so taking his mind off it by doing other things like cuddling and kissing is all that it takes to see things spring into action so to speak Perhaps talk about it if necessary at another time, especially if it's a recurring thing - but do so sensitively and compassionately and with support." Thank you very much Gemini for a truly interesting and nuanced perspective. I do believe that the cold reaction and blame the next day were a coping strategy or a defence mechanism, from a man who is new here and had put too much pressure on himself for his first 1-on-1 meet. I’ve been in the same situation with other Fabsters and it’s never been a problem before. As Mike says, it is common sense; still it’s good to hear it from a sensible representative of the other gender. Thanks again! | |||
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"It's a tough one OP and the answer lies with *both* people that are there - us guys are strange beasts at times and can get hang ups when all doesn't work as we think it should - out of embarrassment, shame, a misplaced sense of what it should be like and much more. There probably isn't a guy on here that it's not happened to at some stage in their life either - and for some reacting "coldly" is how they deal with it, out of shame, frustration and more. Thing is though with an understanding and caring partner, it really isn't the end of the world, and there is plenty more that can be done to still have a great time. It also doesn't help worrying about it, as it's a vicious circle, the more you worry, the more frustrating it gets and the less likely it is for something to happen. And I can totally understand a woman's perspective when it does happen as it's inevitable to wonder "Is it me?" when truth is it's actually neither of you. As for asking him about it - that's another difficult one, as asking may well highlight the problem further and just exacerbate it. Sometimes a simple "Hey it doesn't matter, let's have a cuddle and maybe a massage" is better, often the problem is just not being relaxed, so taking his mind off it by doing other things like cuddling and kissing is all that it takes to see things spring into action so to speak Perhaps talk about it if necessary at another time, especially if it's a recurring thing - but do so sensitively and compassionately and with support. Thank you very much Gemini for a truly interesting and nuanced perspective. I do believe that the cold reaction and blame the next day were a coping strategy or a defence mechanism, from a man who is new here and had put too much pressure on himself for his first 1-on-1 meet. I’ve been in the same situation with other Fabsters and it’s never been a problem before. As Mike says, it is common sense; still it’s good to hear it from a sensible representative of the other gender. Thanks again!" A pleasure - felt your OP deserved better than it had had from some quarters - especially given it showed compassion and wanting to understand. And you're probably right about it being a coping strategy - how you go from here may well depend on how interested in this guy you are, and he you, but if you are I'd suggest a sensitive message telling him you understand and that he has nothing to feel bad about etc etc and sensitively telling him how you can deal with it *together* if it happened another time. Part of the problem is exacerbated by a site like this because the perception of many guys is that they have to be able to perform like porn stars, stay hard all night long and cum multiple times after banging away for hours at a time - which couldn't be further from the truth | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" Buy a stash of viagra / kamagra and give him one if it’s not happening . | |||
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" Buy a stash of viagra / kamagra and give him one if it’s not happening . " A very dangerous option unless the OP is a qualified physician or pharmacist capable of making the relevant checks to ensure someone would be ok to take either. If someone is suffering from regular and ongoing problems, encouraging them to see a GP or consider trying Viagara or similar once properly checked for suitability may be an option, but having a "stash" would be totally wrong, and could lead to serious problems. | |||
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" Buy a stash of viagra / kamagra and give him one if it’s not happening . A very dangerous option unless the OP is a qualified physician or pharmacist capable of making the relevant checks to ensure someone would be ok to take either. If someone is suffering from regular and ongoing problems, encouraging them to see a GP or consider trying Viagara or similar once properly checked for suitability may be an option, but having a "stash" would be totally wrong, and could lead to serious problems." — I couldn’t agree more. Apparently these are available from drug dealers now. I like my men exhausted but alive and well when I leave them! Gerald’s Game by Stephen King is a recommended read to anyone who’s considering playing with those irresponsibly...— | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" You seem to have met selfish men who only care about their needs. Men need to ne honest with themselves. If they have trouble getting an erection or repeat erection use something. I could repeat easily, fairly quickly, and a few times when I was younger. As I get older that is not always the case. If I want to make sure I can give the woman or man good a good time I will take an erection pill. I don't want to come once and have to ask them to give me 30 minutes to an hour to recover. I want the woman or man to enjoy being with me and for my being able to pleasure them it that means taking a pill to help me do that then so be it I know some people don't like being with somebody who has taken Viagra, Ciallis etc. | |||
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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out." Ignorant, rude unfeeling prick who had got what he wanted so fuck you? Ok you are not lovers/married but turning your back is rude. | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? Buy a stash of viagra / kamagra and give him one if it’s not happening . " Extremely dangerous. You could kill him. | |||
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"Just a reminder that I don’t mind so much that he couldn’t keep it up. I’m looking for what other people do in a Fab one night stand situation when the guy can’t keep it hard. Do you ask “Is everything ok?” or do you let him play with your toys and pretend everything is fine?" I wouldn't pretend but, I also wouldn't spend the whole night with an unknown guy | |||
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"I think that last night's friend was feeling guilty about it, and his behaviour was his justification for that guilt. Forget about him, and move on. With regards to others, we fantasise a lot, but in reality we feel under pressure to perform, we want to be the best, (male ego), this plays on our minds again, and ooops we can't do it. Like you said some make up for it in the morning, they feel more relaxed, feels more real." Thanks for your candour. It’s most appreciated. | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" He was ashamed of himself babe.. and sadly took it out on you. You stay golden though, don't let em change you x | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" Happens quite often I assume due to nerves | |||
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"I was going to reply by private message but I am blocked. I think if a man is making you uncomfortable I would leave or at least say “ would you like me to go” unless of course I have paid for the room in which case it’s easier to ask him to go " Yes Izzy, you’re a woman! I only accept messages from men, sorry! He didn’t make me feel uncomfortable until the morning when he opened the curtains to wake me. Rude! And he woke me because he was leaving to go to work. Problem solved! If someone was uncomfortable during playtime it was all him but I can’t make any assumptions as to why he couldn’t keep it up: that would only add further pressure. Stupidly I liked the guy, found him good-looking and had no problem having multiple orgasms when he playing with my toys. I didn’t like he turned his back on me as soon as the lights were off but it didn’t justify leaving. The interaction in the morning was as brief as unpleasant but he left within a few minutes anyway. | |||
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"Was there much of a build up .. increasing the passion and tension etc?" Like I said in the OP, it’s the first time and probably not the last time it’s going to happen. It’s not the why I’m interested in, it’s how other people deal with it in similar circumstances: casual sex, first time meeting. | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" Last night? | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? Last night? " OP's original post that you've quoted was from two weeks ago | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations? Last night? OP's original post that you've quoted was from two weeks ago " Oops sorry didn't see that!! Maybe the guy wasn't that into you.. | |||
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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out." Choose better playmates. | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" I don't think you are doing anything wrong but he probably felt bad and that he couldn't talk about it maybe? Prob 1 of the pitfalls of a swinger type encounter..feels like a one off so lots of pressure? Only my guess like. I'd maybe try and talk to him. | |||
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"Men aren't machines " the former governor of California may disagree with you... | |||
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"I think full overnights are something best reserved for known partners, as you'll know if it's full action all night or you'll sleep well together. My sleep needs are sacrosanct, so it's important that they're not ruined, when I need to get it. Some nights it's feasible to have a more restless night but I'd like to be in control. Men can have ED issues anytime and you're right not to focus on it but it doesn't mean all guys have fully taken it in their stride, it could be a pandoras box of trouble he brings along with him. No strings sex can make it more appropriate to just have action, with some affection but keep the rest of the time just for yourself, if in a hotel or at home. They can go to on, to manage their lives, personal stuff etc, in their own space. I like an all night session as well as hours of intimacy but I prefer to reserve this to people I'm already very comfortable with. It can seem cold to be restrictive but it can save an occasional poor experience from growing awkward. Have escape options for others and your own health and wellbeing " 100% this only had one overnight with regular guy so much better than a guy we hadnt made a connection with . | |||
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"Hi I’m a fairly new swinger, just a few months and I have a question about etiquette. On a few occasions during overnight hotel meets (never at home), the man hasn’t been able to keep his erection in the evening, for whatever reasons. I never comment or say anything, they usually keep quiet too or comment that they are tired. Sometimes morning wood saves the meet, sometimes not; but the mood always stays friendly with the guys... until last night’s gentleman. I faced a certain degree of coldness during the night and passive aggressive hostility this morning! Does anyone comment and ask ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ or should I carry on being Victorian about it when it happens? Gentlemen, if you had a ““friend”” in this situation, what would be y... his expectations?" Sounds to me like he was keeping asecret Maybe he was married with kids and guilt got a hold of him.or something else on his mind. It seems he was deliberately distancing emotionally to calm his own conscience | |||
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"I was going to reply by private message but I am blocked. I think if a man is making you uncomfortable I would leave or at least say “ would you like me to go” unless of course I have paid for the room in which case it’s easier to ask him to go Yes Izzy, you’re a woman! I only accept messages from men, sorry! He didn’t make me feel uncomfortable until the morning when he opened the curtains to wake me. Rude! And he woke me because he was leaving to go to work. Problem solved! If someone was uncomfortable during playtime it was all him but I can’t make any assumptions as to why he couldn’t keep it up: that would only add further pressure. Stupidly I liked the guy, found him good-looking and had no problem having multiple orgasms when he playing with my toys. I didn’t like he turned his back on me as soon as the lights were off but it didn’t justify leaving. The interaction in the morning was as brief as unpleasant but he left within a few minutes anyway." Turning over and just going to sleep is just a man thing . Some of my favourite playmates have told me they have on occasion had Inexplicable ED so I would agree don’t make too much of it and have fun with toys etc. I think the morning awkwardness might have been avoided if you had established before hand what time he had to leave for work and if it was ok for him to let you sleep and slip away? I would agree he quite possibly is married. If being held at night is part of what you want then it’s not unreasonable to say so before the meet. | |||
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"If someone was cold towards me regardless of the lead up I'd be asking what what wrong and if it was me Sorry I should have phrased it differently. During the night as in sleeping time: no touching, turned his back on me as soon as lights were out." SLeeping positions are weird - for orthopaedic reasons I can only sleep on one side... Mr Icebreaker | |||
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"Maybe I’m just more fortunate, but Iv never had an issue! Always stood to attention Don’t really understand the cold shoulder turning of the back etc! Would find that quite rude to be honest! If it was a stay over meet I’d expect good company all night! " Give it time, you're young yet | |||
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"Maybe I’m just more fortunate, but Iv never had an issue! Always stood to attention Don’t really understand the cold shoulder turning of the back etc! Would find that quite rude to be honest! If it was a stay over meet I’d expect good company all night! Give it time, you're young yet " Always thought it was the last thing on a man to die | |||
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