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"Hi guys we have our first meet planned for Thursday, it's a social coffee to see how we get on ...but during the chat he mentioned that he wanted a grope my pussy and to wear no underware, his wife feels the same as she wants the same .. . Just unsure how far this will go as they also mentioned that they wanted bare back sex as this is there thing , my hubby is very unsure about this for obvious reasons and I am worried about unprotected sex also ..Are we nuts to allow a coffee meet turn into something that would make either of us uncomfortable , my hubby ginger is very unsure how we should proceed but wants to please me .... any advice would be good " Surely you know the answer | |||
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"Hi guys we have our first meet planned for Thursday, it's a social coffee to see how we get on ...but during the chat he mentioned that he wanted a grope my pussy and to wear no underware, his wife feels the same as she wants the same .. . Just unsure how far this will go as they also mentioned that they wanted bare back sex as this is there thing , my hubby is very unsure about this for obvious reasons and I am worried about unprotected sex also ..Are we nuts to allow a coffee meet turn into something that would make either of us uncomfortable , my hubby ginger is very unsure how we should proceed but wants to please me .... any advice would be good " Do not ever do something you don't want to do. Set your boundaries and stick by them, if the people you're meeting don't agree with your boundaries of means you aren't compatible. | |||
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"Make it clear a social is a social or walk away now. That's my thought" Defenitly thankyou xx | |||
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"Make it clear a social is a social or walk away now. That's my thought" I second third and fourth this lol if they would have said that to me would be an instant block x | |||
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"I've no idea why people even consider meeting others they clearly aren't compatible with " As per the question, they are asking advice and new to swinging. | |||
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"To be honest they don’t even sound real - have you spoken to the lady on the phone to check they both exist? " My thoughts exactly | |||
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"To be honest they don’t even sound real - have you spoken to the lady on the phone to check they both exist? My thoughts exactly " They explained above. They have spoke to both male and female | |||
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"Thanks guys you really are bringing us back down to earth xxx yes will definitely set our boundaries with them and walk away if they are not happy xx again thankyou all for the increadbly fantastic advice xxx xx Jackie and ginger" Remeber something very similar happening to us. We'd been chatting for a few weeks after setting up a social. The day was nearly here and the guy started messaging saying he wanted Mrs to wear no underwear and his wife would do the same. We said its not going to happen but still went ahead with the social. Needless to say he was nightmare and the social came to an abrupt stop. So we learned by our stupid mistake, we even said this social is not going to work. We should have cancelled when he started his stupid antics. Like you OP we'd spoke and they sounded lovely...... Bright flashing lights should be the clue and don't end up like us regretting everyone around us knowing about Fab on the night, he didn't know the word discretion existed. Won't happen again, as we said before if it doesn't feel right it ain't right | |||
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"Hi guys we have our first meet planned for Thursday, it's a social coffee to see how we get on ...but during the chat he mentioned that he wanted a grope my pussy and to wear no underware, his wife feels the same as she wants the same .. . Just unsure how far this will go as they also mentioned that they wanted bare back sex as this is there thing , my hubby is very unsure about this for obvious reasons and I am worried about unprotected sex also ..Are we nuts to allow a coffee meet turn into something that would make either of us uncomfortable , my hubby ginger is very unsure how we should proceed but wants to please me .... any advice would be good " Your both in your late 40's surly you can decide what your comfortable with or not | |||
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"I've no idea why people even consider meeting others they clearly aren't compatible with As per the question, they are asking advice and new to swinging. " Thankyou xx | |||
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"Thanks guys you really are bringing us back down to earth xxx yes will definitely set our boundaries with them and walk away if they are not happy xx again thankyou all for the increadbly fantastic advice xxx xx Jackie and ginger Remeber something very similar happening to us. We'd been chatting for a few weeks after setting up a social. The day was nearly here and the guy started messaging saying he wanted Mrs to wear no underwear and his wife would do the same. We said its not going to happen but still went ahead with the social. Needless to say he was nightmare and the social came to an abrupt stop. So we learned by our stupid mistake, we even said this social is not going to work. We should have cancelled when he started his stupid antics. Like you OP we'd spoke and they sounded lovely...... Bright flashing lights should be the clue and don't end up like us regretting everyone around us knowing about Fab on the night, he didn't know the word discretion existed. Won't happen again, as we said before if it doesn't feel right it ain't right " Omg I'm sorry you had to go trough that xx | |||
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"I've no idea why people even consider meeting others they clearly aren't compatible with As per the question, they are asking advice and new to swinging. " They're grown adults. It's basic common sense in regards to meeting strangers | |||
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"If you are not into Bare Back then state so now before any meet takes place social or otherwise. If they wont play safe then don't meet at all. I personally (MRS) wouldn't be happy getting "requests" to not wear underwear to a social and being told a bloke wants to grab my pussy at a social coffee meet. If it is just a social then it should remain thus. Don't feel pressured into anything at the end of the day, do what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Do not allow others to try and persuade you to break your own boundaries . " This is sound advice.. A social should be purely that.. No pressure for anything more... And bareback... If its something you are not comfortable with.. Just say neigh... You will only regret it otherwiae.. There will be other couples you.. Match.. With.. Be patient ans wait for a couple who you feel comfortable with ans have the same or are respectful of your expectations and boundaries. | |||
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"Hi guys we have our first meet planned for Thursday, it's a social coffee to see how we get on ...but during the chat he mentioned that he wanted a grope my pussy and to wear no underware, his wife feels the same as she wants the same .. . Just unsure how far this will go as they also mentioned that they wanted bare back sex as this is there thing , my hubby is very unsure about this for obvious reasons and I am worried about unprotected sex also ..Are we nuts to allow a coffee meet turn into something that would make either of us uncomfortable , my hubby ginger is very unsure how we should proceed but wants to please me .... any advice would be good " I personally wouldn't meet with them as they are already looking to push boundaries. If you decide to meet with them, just make it clear, it's coffee and nothing else. | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that?" They are new and unsure. Why so critical. | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. " They are adults not green youngsters | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. " Again thankyou xxx | |||
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"Thanks guys you really are bringing us back down to earth xxx yes will definitely set our boundaries with them and walk away if they are not happy xx again thankyou all for the increadbly fantastic advice xxx xx Jackie and ginger Remeber something very similar happening to us. We'd been chatting for a few weeks after setting up a social. The day was nearly here and the guy started messaging saying he wanted Mrs to wear no underwear and his wife would do the same. We said its not going to happen but still went ahead with the social. Needless to say he was nightmare and the social came to an abrupt stop. So we learned by our stupid mistake, we even said this social is not going to work. We should have cancelled when he started his stupid antics. Like you OP we'd spoke and they sounded lovely...... Bright flashing lights should be the clue and don't end up like us regretting everyone around us knowing about Fab on the night, he didn't know the word discretion existed. Won't happen again, as we said before if it doesn't feel right it ain't right Omg I'm sorry you had to go trough that xx" Yet another learning curve on our Journey. You are new and can take the advice from others and not put yourselves in a similar situation. Some people do take advantage of new people to this lifestyle. Things like this can put newbies off this lifestyle, but we can reassure you both there's some amazing people to meet | |||
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"Hi guys we have our first meet planned for Thursday, it's a social coffee to see how we get on ...but during the chat he mentioned that he wanted a grope my pussy and to wear no underware, his wife feels the same as she wants the same .. . Just unsure how far this will go as they also mentioned that they wanted bare back sex as this is there thing , my hubby is very unsure about this for obvious reasons and I am worried about unprotected sex also ..Are we nuts to allow a coffee meet turn into something that would make either of us uncomfortable , my hubby ginger is very unsure how we should proceed but wants to please me .... any advice would be good " they sound a bit crude to me, whatever made you choose them in the first place? | |||
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"Thanks guys you really are bringing us back down to earth xxx yes will definitely set our boundaries with them and walk away if they are not happy xx again thankyou all for the increadbly fantastic advice xxx xx Jackie and ginger Remeber something very similar happening to us. We'd been chatting for a few weeks after setting up a social. The day was nearly here and the guy started messaging saying he wanted Mrs to wear no underwear and his wife would do the same. We said its not going to happen but still went ahead with the social. Needless to say he was nightmare and the social came to an abrupt stop. So we learned by our stupid mistake, we even said this social is not going to work. We should have cancelled when he started his stupid antics. Like you OP we'd spoke and they sounded lovely...... Bright flashing lights should be the clue and don't end up like us regretting everyone around us knowing about Fab on the night, he didn't know the word discretion existed. Won't happen again, as we said before if it doesn't feel right it ain't right Omg I'm sorry you had to go trough that xx Yet another learning curve on our Journey. You are new and can take the advice from others and not put yourselves in a similar situation. Some people do take advantage of new people to this lifestyle. Things like this can put newbies off this lifestyle, but we can reassure you both there's some amazing people to meet " Thankyou so much xx | |||
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"Make it clear a social is a social or walk away now. That's my thought I second third and fourth this lol if they would have said that to me would be an instant block x" This | |||
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"We get this all the time, we arrange what we happy with and it’s “yeah yeah no problem, no pressure!” Then it’s “can we just” or “will u do this”. That’s why we find it hard meeting new people on here" So it's not uncomen then ? | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. They are adults not green youngsters " Even so. They have said they were unsure. Just asking like minded people for advice | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. They are adults not green youngsters Even so. They have said they were unsure. Just asking like minded people for advice " Blurred boundaries is Red Flag, personally we appreciate upfront honesty so we can swerve, no compromise. Barebackers claiming safe sex on profiles yet not case at least this couple is telling you, so if you meet your approving their wants. Upto you end of the day | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. They are adults not green youngsters Even so. They have said they were unsure. Just asking like minded people for advice Blurred boundaries is Red Flag, personally we appreciate upfront honesty so we can swerve, no compromise. Barebackers claiming safe sex on profiles yet not case at least this couple is telling you, so if you meet your approving their wants. Upto you end of the day " Exactly, these are new and unsure as they seem to click, they were just asking advice | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. They are adults not green youngsters Even so. They have said they were unsure. Just asking like minded people for advice Blurred boundaries is Red Flag, personally we appreciate upfront honesty so we can swerve, no compromise. Barebackers claiming safe sex on profiles yet not case at least this couple is telling you, so if you meet your approving their wants. Upto you end of the day Exactly, these are new and unsure as they seem to click, they were just asking advice " thankyou xx | |||
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"You really need to ask advice on that? They are new and unsure. Why so critical. " Not critical at all. Just staggered. | |||
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"How many red flags do you need before you walk away?" This | |||
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"From personal experience, there are some people who get a thrill out of ‘newbies’ and take advantage of your inexperience and reluctance to appear shocked. I would give them a swerve and wait to meet people you are 100% excited about seeing " We also experienced this, it was a bit of a setback for us too in terms of confidence after people were manipulative. Now we have experienced the club environment we realise that clubs are a much better starting point for swinging than trying to meet people from here. Our advice to any newbies would be to find a decent looking event at a well reviewed club and going to that to just watch and socialise and see how you feel. | |||
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"Ditch them now, social is a social and them wanting bareback would be an immediate block from us." And this | |||
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"Hello Our advice would be to not let the 'excitement' of a meet push your boundaries. It's perfectly reasonable to want a social first. They are pushing for more - we would immediately push away. They are pushing before meeting, imagine how they'd be in the bedroom, maybe taking advantage hoping you'd be 'too polite' to say no. They might even make you feel that YOU are in the wrong. Oh and all that 'legal' stuff at the bottom of your profile - gibberish copy and paste I'm afraid. Take care C and A" lol | |||
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"It sounds they are hoping for more than just a social meet and if they are already making you feel uneasy - then I'd give it a miss" Yes - kick 'em into touch - plenty of people on your wavelength on here - they clearly are not. | |||
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