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Hate secrets

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown

How do you explain this site to a new person you're dating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/03/20 16:54:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either be honest or come off here and concentrate them first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Either be honest or come off here and concentrate them first"

Im going with this comment too

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown

Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex..

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Juat be totally honest and upfront about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex.."

But if you've been on a “few” dates and you say you hate secrets, how is it supposed to progress when your not being honest from the off.

If you was dating me and i found out further down the line that you was already on here and dating me then i would say ta ta.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex.."

If that's the case it's probably likely she'd not be sympathetic to your alternative life, personally I'd hang fire as it's still early days and if your feelings for her consider whether youd give up this lifestyle.

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"Literally just been a few meals we haven't been intimate I just don't know how to approach the subject as I get the impression she's quite vanilla when it comes to sex..

But if you've been on a “few” dates and you say you hate secrets, how is it supposed to progress when your not being honest from the off.

If you was dating me and i found out further down the line that you was already on here and dating me then i would say ta ta.

"

Yeah ok I guess that makes sense so when you start dating you think it's best to let potential partners know as soon as possible?

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you"

I feel like I can be honest but not sure if im jumping the gun..

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Either be honest or come off here and concentrate them first"

I agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she made you choose.... would you choose her?

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By *ildatheart6969Couple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Have you ever heard of Fabswingers?"

"yes/no"

Oh.......

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"If she made you choose.... would you choose her?"

After only a few dates I don't think I would as I use this site for many different reasons

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


""Have you ever heard of Fabswingers?"

"yes/no"

Oh......."

This makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If she made you choose.... would you choose her?

After only a few dates I don't think I would as I use this site for many different reasons"

Think you may have answered your own question then..... doesn't matter what reasons you use to be on here, your here and shes oblivious.

Tough call but dishonesty will always shed bad light

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I suppose it depends what you're looking for in the long term, would you eventually leave here if she was "the one" or do you want a swinging relationship? I wouldn't rush into telling her anything at this stage if it's only been a couple of dates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you say a few????

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"If she made you choose.... would you choose her?

After only a few dates I don't think I would as I use this site for many different reasons

Think you may have answered your own question then..... doesn't matter what reasons you use to be on here, your here and shes oblivious.

Tough call but dishonesty will always shed bad light"

Agree

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"When you say a few????"

3 tobe precise

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"I suppose it depends what you're looking for in the long term, would you eventually leave here if she was "the one" or do you want a swinging relationship? I wouldn't rush into telling her anything at this stage if it's only been a couple of dates. "

My original thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you say a few????

3 tobe precise"

Our advice (and not necessarily the right advice) if you've been on 3 meals/dates then there is obviously a mutual attraction and think you should come off here and see where it goes.

Swinging should never win over happiness and destiny lol

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"When you say a few????

3 tobe precise

Our advice (and not necessarily the right advice) if you've been on 3 meals/dates then there is obviously a mutual attraction and think you should come off here and see where it goes.

Swinging should never win over happiness and destiny lol"

Thank you for you're advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck with whatever you decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hide your profile for a bit, give the lady a chance.

You never know, she could enjoy this lifestyle too, once you get to know her and you feel confident about mentioning it.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I guess it depends on what you use this site for, Whether it has been simply to get hook ups for sex or whether you see swinging as part of your lifestyle.

Would you hope that if the relationship develops she might be up for swinging? if that's the case I'd be honest & upfront now, because if she's totally not interested then you'd need to decide if you'd be willing to take a step back from the lifestyle for her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you

I feel like I can be honest but not sure if im jumping the gun.. "

Wait to see how it pans out first. I don't think you have to say anything until you are an actual couple. Even then I wouldn't say anything unless you planned to stay on here. If you leave then I don't think there is any need to say anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you explain this site to a new person you're dating?"
depends how much you like her, if i liked her i wouldn't be here

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It must be difficult to broach the subject. All you can do is say it straight out.

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By *heekyredsoloWoman
over a year ago

bromborough

I haven’t read through the comments, so apologies if this has already been mentioned...

You never know she may also be on here $

I’m curious to ask are you hoping to swing together long term?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Stay on here maybe hide profile or don't arrange any new meets.

See her for a bit if things feel like they are going somewhere then tell her or just delete and don't say anything.

I assume you met her through normal avenue ie friend of a friend or something, or a dating site?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Ultimately what do you want?

A relationship

A swinging relationship

A relationship and you swing secretly

??

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I think it depends how important this lifestyle is to you. If it’s something that you’ll want to continue going forward, then you may as well tell her. If she’s not into it, then she’s not for you.

If you could give this up and never look back then hide your profile. Log out and don’t come back on here unless it doesn’t work with her.

Just don’t be the guy who doesn’t both.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

*does both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can't be honest with someone, they ain't for you

I feel like I can be honest but not sure if im jumping the gun.. "

There is no such thing when it comes to honesty

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"I haven’t read through the comments, so apologies if this has already been mentioned...

You never know she may also be on here $

I’m curious to ask are you hoping to swing together long term?

That would be the ideal scenario

"

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"Ultimately what do you want?

A relationship

A swinging relationship

A relationship and you swing secretly

?? "

A swinging relationship

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By *atBottomGirlsWoman
over a year ago

St Austell-ish

In past relationships, how open have you been about your previous partners?

And how well did that go?

If you want an exclusive relationship, keep quiet, or bring it up as you would in any other relationship.

But, as you stated you want a swinging relationship, bring it up sooner rather than later.

Might fall apart immediately or later, but you won't end up in a relationship where you're not happy.

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon


"Juat be totally honest and upfront about it."

If swinging is something you intend to continue then.. This

If you are willing to put it aside.. forever possibly if she is not Interested... Then put the account on hold and delete?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Either be honest or come off here and concentrate them first

Im going with this comment too"

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown


"In past relationships, how open have you been about your previous partners?

And how well did that go?

If you want an exclusive relationship, keep quiet, or bring it up as you would in any other relationship.

But, as you stated you want a swinging relationship, bring it up sooner rather than later.

Might fall apart immediately or later, but you won't end up in a relationship where you're not happy."

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At some stage during the early days of dating, history comes up. I’d be open and say you’ve got a colourful past which includes you being on a swinging site.

If her reaction is unfavourable then she’s not the right person for you, especially if you’d like to continue swinging, perhaps together with any new partner.

V

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By *irateloversCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"Juat be totally honest and upfront about it.

If swinging is something you intend to continue then.. This

If you are willing to put it aside.. forever possibly if she is not Interested... Then put the account on hold and delete?"

This is good advice

We were lucky enough to know a lot of each others kinks before we got together. We have both had partners in the past though who have turned out to be completely vanilla, you live with it or you don't. But in hindsight, it probably would have been best to have been more upfront about what we wanted from the start. Honesty is the best policy. If you decide to leave and not look back, then you shouldn't have to mention you were ever here, it is in the past. If you stay on fab, you definitely need to be honest.

It's advice, it could be right it could be wrong, but it is definitely advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want a swinging relationship, I would tell her sooner rather than later. If she's not into it, there's no sense in wasting each others time.

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By *apoDaSnowman OP   Man
over a year ago

Btown

Well... that went well.. not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well... that went well.. not "

Then she wasn't for you, sweet

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By *rCandPrincessCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Oh dear

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By *rCandPrincessCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Well... that went well.. not

Then she wasn't for you, sweet"

Agree xx

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"Well... that went well.. not "

Oh no. Well, onwards and upwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well... that went well.. not "

at least you were honest

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Decide on your priorities and what you want, then let those guide your behaviour. They're re your decisions about your life and it's your relationship. Not everyone in a relationship shares 100% of the details including secrets, of their lives in 1 go - it's not expected.

But what's usually expected is trust and a shared agreement on how the relationship is committed to, or not, including monogamy etc.

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By *ee pandaWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Ive always mentioned it to man straight away and tell them if its not for you but u still like me then i will stop and concentrate on giving us a chance first. Id like to think if someone tells me then its my choice to take it further and no more about it. I would appreciate their honesty from them.

Needless to say im now single again lol xx good luck hun if u like her xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion you would jumping the gun telling her before you have been intimate. See how you gel in bed before deciding whether you want her approval on your lifestyle. As long as you don't lie if asked a question then you haven't been dishonest

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