FabSwingers.com forum: Fingering Pain

By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago

London

So I know a lot of guys think it's a party trick to try and make a woman squirt/gush, however whenever a man does this to me they usually rush into it and it hurts me and I don't really gush or squirt. It takes me a while to really get turned on for it to happen.

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Just ask them to stop, slow down, do something different. You have to communicate with them about your limits and preferences and certainly don't let anyone hurt you (unless it's consensual).

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

just tell them to stop or communicate with them before hand about what you do and dont like

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Just ask them to stop, slow down, do something different. You have to communicate with them about your limits and preferences and certainly don't let anyone hurt you (unless it's consensual). "

This...

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Some go at it like they are stuffing the Christmas Turkey....I tell them to stop...

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Some men think all us women want to gush/squirt and seem to make it their sole aim.

I do tell people to change what they are doing if I'm not enjoying it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It amazes me how 95% of guys ask if I squirt, and when I tell them I haven't ever, seem to want to 'fix me'. Absolutely guarantee they can make it happen (it won't).

Actually I'm cool with that, so I tell them to not even try, and actually being fingered like I'm my washing machine on warp mode, is pretty unpleasant.

If it feels like they are trying to start attempting it, I'll gently remind them I haven't got hotpoint stamped on my head.

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Well im stunded...

Its not my priority "this squirt " thing..

In fact first time it ever happened with me I thought she pissed on me..lol

I do loveforplay...and ive found I will go south on a ladie till she is happy and pulls me up..yet I seem to only ever get a 10 min bj before sex..lol

Op..make sure they cut and have clean hands..also do u have any blood if no forplay and straight sex..?

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By *jEuphoriaCouple
over a year ago

north kent

IF IT HURTS, THEY’RE DOING IT WRONG!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"So I know a lot of guys think it's a party trick to try and make a woman squirt/gush, however whenever a man does this to me they usually rush into it and it hurts me and I don't really gush or squirt. It takes me a while to really get turned on for it to happen.

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women"

Tell them what you want and like and dislike

A lot of men see porn and thing everyone enjoys the same thing

Educate them so other women can benefit !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never thought I could squirt until last year unfortunately due to porn a lot of men think this best way for a woman to orgasm! Some

Women find it uncomfortable just say it doesn’t work for you. X x x

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Tell them what to do! Or to stop if that's not working .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women"

Grab them by the balls and say we are not going to hurt each other are we ?

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

We talk to each other a lot about how different women’s preferences are. Just recently we’ve had a lovely time with a lady who communicated not to use fingers at all, and then another who communicated the opposite lol.

Even orally, we like to think we’ve acquired a few moves from friends, but what works on one (for example the side sweeper reverse lick) has zero effect on another

We don’t think it’s because of any visible physical differences either, must be relative sensitivity of different parts, what her imagination is doing etc.

Men are simpler by the way.

Anyway the answer to the OP question is, it’s all good, but you will have to communicate a bit, seriously the differences are amazing and however competent your partner is they are not mind readers.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

This is why I'd never let a man finger me. Don't get me wrong I love beasts fingers, they drive insane! But that's because he knows me, knows what I like and where everything is.

Any time I've seen another guy finger a girl it's always really fast and rough and just WHACK WHACK WHACK as fast as they can.i cringe because 1, that's gotta hurt and 2, you're guna punch her clit!!

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By *ver-CuriousCouple
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women"

Just tell them

Tell them it's uncomfortable,you don't like it,slow down or whatever,but unless you tell them,they won't know

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

Porn caters to male pleasure while eroticising female suffering. Women being in pain is idealised as the epitome of 'hardcore' sex. Is it any wonder men carry on regardless when a woman is clearly in discomfort?

Yet another harmful effect of the porn industry that more of us need to speak out about.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

It is true that some guys seem to feel they need to be piston pumping your vagina as soon as they get within touching, it is very frustrating.

I just tell them or move their hand and explain to them that if I grabbed hold of their cock and started properly pumping the same way they were trying to pump me it is unlikely to feel very sexy for them.

Everybody is different, but there's only once when I seen a girl enjoy being finger from the off like that.

After things have got extremely warmed up maybe, but if you pay attention to each other's bodies I find they often move in a way that will show you what each other wants. If she is moving a little bit away from you it's likely you're going at it too hard, it sounds simple, but people don't realise and just move closer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lubrication

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By *heShyBiCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Always be open and honest! If they are hurting you, tell them to stop!

Me and my boyfriend have been very open since day 1 of meeting about what we like/don’t like and we have the best sex life!

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

"Grab them by the balls and say we are not going to hurt each other are we ?"

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Gives me cystitis so I have to be clear that it’s not for me.

V x

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Lubrication"

Doesn't help if uncut nail,rough skin & generally stuffing a Turkey action...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t let these amateurs

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women"

Its horrible. I don't want to be with a man that aggressive with my body. As I'm the one who has to live with the pain for the next day. I would just stop in protest if i asked them to be more sensual and they not listening.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Lubrication

Doesn't help if uncut nail,rough skin & generally stuffing a Turkey action..."

so off putting

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Lubrication

Doesn't help if uncut nail,rough skin & generally stuffing a Turkey action...

so off putting "

It happens...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women"

Tell them before hand you don't like it. Tell them if they do it during play you will stop play.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Just like guys are bad kissers, some don’t have a clue what they’re doing. We have to let them know what we like and what works for us.

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan
over a year ago

london

Some guys watch too much porn!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Some guys watch too much porn!"

Some guys think porn shows reality. That's more the problem to be fair. So long as one realises a lot of it is in the realms of fantasy, then we're OK......

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan
over a year ago

london

"Some guys watch too much porn!

Some guys think porn shows reality. That's more the problem to be fair. So long as one realises a lot of it is in the realms of fantasy, then we're OK...... "

I read the papers but don’t always believe what I read. I watch porn but know most men don’t shoot 2 pints of spunk 20 feet across the room

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Some guys watch too much porn!

Some guys think porn shows reality. That's more the problem to be fair. So long as one realises a lot of it is in the realms of fantasy, then we're OK......

I read the papers but don’t always believe what I read. I watch porn but know most men don’t shoot 2 pints of spunk 20 feet across the room"

SOME men. Not all...

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan
over a year ago

london

"Some guys watch too much porn!

Some guys think porn shows reality. That's more the problem to be fair. So long as one realises a lot of it is in the realms of fantasy, then we're OK......

I read the papers but don’t always believe what I read. I watch porn but know most men don’t shoot 2 pints of spunk 20 feet across the room

SOME men. Not all... "

Hahaha

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Use lube.

Ask them to cut their nails.

Use a probe type dildo instead...

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

"Some guys watch too much porn!"

Porn stars use lube

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By *oinus1961Couple
over a year ago

Huntingdon

You can explain but there are some men who don't really listen. Either that or their cock takes over their brain. Having my cunt pounded so it feels like my cervix is going to end up in my neck is not my idea of fun. My response will start with "No gently" to grabbing their hand and saying "stop" to "do that again and I'll rip your fucking nuts off and feed them to the cat".

The only two people who made me squirt (hubby was one) took time, let me relax and didn't go at it like they were trying to unblock a bog with a plunger.

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By *elnkazCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

If its too painful and you are getting blood i would go get it checked out to rule out anything more sinister going on x . K

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Some men think all us women want to gush/squirt and seem to make it their sole aim.

I do tell people to change what they are doing if I'm not enjoying it."

It drives me crackers...I blame American porn!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You need to tell a man he's hurting you. How will he know otherwise? If a guy does something to ten women and not one of them asks him to stop it's hardly his fault if he continues to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure that the nails are cut and smooth and clean. And take it slow unless she asks for faster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"IF IT HURTS, THEY’RE DOING IT WRONG!"

Obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If its too painful and you are getting blood i would go get it checked out to rule out anything more sinister going on x . K"

It was painful for her as he was going too rough and she had slight bleeding because he was going too rough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some men think all us women want to gush/squirt and seem to make it their sole aim.

I do tell people to change what they are doing if I'm not enjoying it.

It drives me crackers...I blame American porn!!"

Also women on here who keep banging on about being a squirter

What ever happend to just enjoying the sex and not trying to achive things

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By *bonybbwWoman
over a year ago

London

Show him how you like it first. Then maybe he will learn.

There has only ever been one guy who knew what he was doing when he finger fucked me to orgasm. It's all about building up to it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Show him how you like it first. Then maybe he will learn.

Don't just straight out say, "no, you're really not doing it for me". Make it fun and hot by saying how much you want him to watch you finger yourself. Or even saying "I really like it when you touch me in this way" as he is doing it.

I do think porn and lack of women speaking up has a lot to answer for; I love being fingered but quite a few men think that they need to button bash my clit/vagina to get me to orgasm. A good lover should be attentive to how your body responds and adjust himself as needed. If not, speak up!

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By *ine of BootyCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow/ Manchester

My other half hates being ‘fingered’, she really does not like it at all. She loves being gently rubbed and caressed around her clit and groin but I guess it’s just something some women dislike and find uncomfortable.

As a guy and knowing full well what guys are like, most will not even consider the idea of the girl not being wet enough, to be more gentle with the action or if the girl is one that just doesn’t like it. When we met she had very little experience...but the one thing she knew full well was that she did not like that.

Communication is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gives me cystitis so I have to be clear that it’s not for me.

V x "

Same here..have it on my profile even.. No bloody jack hammering

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"My other half hates being ‘fingered’, she really does not like it at all. She loves being gently rubbed and caressed around her clit and groin but I guess it’s just something some women dislike and find uncomfortable.

Communication is the key

Some men don't listen to your wants and needs. Pretend they can't hear or find it kinky to carry on inflicting pain etc

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By *anysicoMan
over a year ago

cork

I love when someone tells me or shows me what they want , that way everybody is happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do gush xx but saying that I've only ever done it with tony xx he knows me/my body xx afterall we have been together a long time xx it is fun and very sexy though xx finding out what turns people on xx we call it talking to eachother xx

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

Some men behave like James Herriot examining an animal.

OP - tell that person to stop and that it’s hurting you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women

Grab them by the balls and say we are not going to hurt each other are we ?"

Imagine if we shook their balls in reciprocation - with the obligatory sharp nail scratching back and forth...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think that's the problem too much porn round these days to many men want to copy what they see

Nothing wrong with a bit of communication ask her what she likes etc and don't be offended if she tells you your not doing something right after all its about mutual enjoyment not just one person

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By *uncpl187Couple
over a year ago

Ramsgate

As my wife says,take it slow let it flow.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Think that's the problem too much porn round these days to many men want to copy what they see

Nothing wrong with a bit of communication ask her what she likes etc and don't be offended if she tells you your not doing something right after all its about mutual enjoyment not just one person"

Yeah I'd hate it if I was hurting a guy and he just endured it. I'd much prefer him to say, it only needs a "slower" or "not so hard" or even "like this".

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By *LOVEpinacoladasWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Some men behave like James Herriot examining an animal. "

Hahaha - what an image! Sad but true.

I like some gentle fingering if someones going down on me, but in general find fingers too pointy and irritating if there isn't any stimulation going on, and will either move my body away, take them by the wrist and move their hand away, or tell them that it's not for me.

While I do gush, it's not the same as orgasm, and frankly sometimes I'd prefer not to make a massive wet patch! And it often (not always) seems more about them wanting to prove something rather than my pleasure. If it happens naturally, no problem, but I don't like feeling like I'm a glove puppet!

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By *heelofTimeCouple
over a year ago

Two Rivers

Any other ladies the same?

I've had times where after sex my discharge would be blood tinged.

How do I just get men to stop that? It doesn't always work for all women

Grab them by the balls and say we are not going to hurt each other are we ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me there’s got to be lots of kissing and lots of foreplay beforehand. It’s all about taking your time and getting relaxed, it’s not a race. I love to finger a woman (and also watch her finger herself) but only if it’s wanted during sex. It’s not a given that a woman will squirt. It’s nice if it happens and it can be a turn on but for too many men it’s a necessity and it shouldn’t be. Lots of other things you can do instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It amazes me how 95% of guys ask if I squirt, and when I tell them I haven't ever, seem to want to 'fix me'. Absolutely guarantee they can make it happen (it won't).

Actually I'm cool with that, so I tell them to not even try, and actually being fingered like I'm my washing machine on warp mode, is pretty unpleasant.

If it feels like they are trying to start attempting it, I'll gently remind them I haven't got hotpoint stamped on my head. "

So true!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Some men think all us women want to gush/squirt and seem to make it their sole aim.

I do tell people to change what they are doing if I'm not enjoying it.

It drives me crackers...I blame American porn!!

Also women on here who keep banging on about being a squirter

What ever happend to just enjoying the sex and not trying to achive things

Very true, the Olympic Holy Grail of squirting (which I'm still convinced is the involuntary ejection of bladder contents

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Tell them to stop if it's hurting you, boot them out if they don't stop.

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