FabSwingers.com forum: Being shared

By *lowersandcars OP Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury

We’ve had a great time meeting other couples and having fun. Mr would love to have another lady join us....something I would enjoy too. However he isn’t interested at all in having another guy join us.

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did he give any reasons as to why he would be okay for another women to be involved but not a guy or was it just a hard no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So when you've met other couples did you not play with the man of the other couple?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So when you've met other couples did you not play with the man of the other couple?

Mrs"

This

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"We’ve had a great time meeting other couples and having fun. Mr would love to have another lady join us....something I would enjoy too. However he isn’t interested at all in having another guy join us.

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?"

We're the opposite. I don't want to fuck other women most of the time, though Alice encourages me to.

Is it a security thing? Does he worry that you will enjoy it too much and it will reflect on him in some way?

There's a really useful concept from the world of polyamory entitled 'compersion.' You might find it helpful.

Otherwise, maybe gently suggest to him that there's an ever so slight chance he's being a tad selfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?"

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him"

I don't think that's entirely fair to say. Different things work for different folk

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him

I don't think that's entirely fair to say. Different things work for different folk"

This.

It could be that he's not that confident, has low self esteem or it could be that he's jealous.

Or he could be selfish, without knowing him it's really hard to tell.

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By *reenlanerCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

We have mainly male company for mrs as I love watching and joining in

We have tried with couples but mrs don’t like watching

So she has no problem me having my own fun with females so happy compromise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him"

Just looked at your veri 1 MAN 1 meet??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had this issue in the beginning. For some couples only playing with women works. The only reason it works though is that’s because by parties of the couple only want this. When one of you wants more then resentment is going to set in. I can only tell you what personally worked for me. I was upfront and honest with my partner about what I wanted. I gave him time to process this while we still played. Eventually I felt that I’d given him enough time (it’s around about the point of resentment you’ll feel enough time’s been given) I was no longer enjoying the lifestyle because I felt my wants and needs weren’t being met while his were, so I pulled away from it. That seemed to be enough motivation for him to “bite the bullet” and see how he felt watching me with another man. Turns out he quite liked it haha. Try and discuss boundaries with your partner. Give him enough to make him feel comfortable. If it’s a case of him feeling insecure then be gentle with him. Let him be involved in choosing your play partner when the time comes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had this issue in the beginning. For some couples only playing with women works. The only reason it works though is that’s because by parties of the couple only want this. When one of you wants more then resentment is going to set in. I can only tell you what personally worked for me. I was upfront and honest with my partner about what I wanted. I gave him time to process this while we still played. Eventually I felt that I’d given him enough time (it’s around about the point of resentment you’ll feel enough time’s been given) I was no longer enjoying the lifestyle because I felt my wants and needs weren’t being met while his were, so I pulled away from it. That seemed to be enough motivation for him to “bite the bullet” and see how he felt watching me with another man. Turns out he quite liked it haha. Try and discuss boundaries with your partner. Give him enough to make him feel comfortable. If it’s a case of him feeling insecure then be gentle with him. Let him be involved in choosing your play partner when the time comes x"

Totally agree with yoour sentiments

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You need to talk this over with him but you can't get him on board of he doesn't want to do it. Nobody should be made to feel selfish or bad because they don't want to engage in a certain sexual activity. If he doesn't want you to have sex with other men you will have to accept it.

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By *lowersandcars OP Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"So when you've met other couples did you not play with the man of the other couple?

Mrs"

Yes I did but he felt that that was different because a) he was playing too and b) the husband was also invested in the women’s happiness and safety x

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By *lowersandcars OP Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him

I don't think that's entirely fair to say. Different things work for different folk

This.

It could be that he's not that confident, has low self esteem or it could be that he's jealous.

Or he could be selfish, without knowing him it's really hard to tell."

I don’t think it’s confidence or self esteem. He worries about feeling jealous and end up ruining the evening. He also worries about someone behaving with me in a way he finds unacceptable x

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By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Ask for DP so he's involved and not a passive viewer.

Or get him to play with a guy while you watch.

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By *wsw1londonMan
over a year ago

London

Hi all

I think that this is for you both to talk about and agree what is acceptable and what isn’t.

It supposed to be mutually pleasure, but if you can’t agree what’s going to happen or what you might try next, maybe together, maybe not together. Either way, it’s for you to decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?"

Reassure him you are not about to fall in love with another guy and leave him? He my feel insecure. Talk to him. Find out his worries and insecurities.

Talk dirty during sex? For example as he fucks you from behind say something like "Imagine me sucking another mans cock as you fuck me from behind" or "Imagine another man underneath me licking my clit as you fuck me from behind" or "I wish I had two cocks up my pussy right now", etc. Put sexy MMF scenarios in his head.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him

I don't think that's entirely fair to say. Different things work for different folk

This.

It could be that he's not that confident, has low self esteem or it could be that he's jealous.

Or he could be selfish, without knowing him it's really hard to tell.

I don’t think it’s confidence or self esteem. He worries about feeling jealous and end up ruining the evening. He also worries about someone behaving with me in a way he finds unacceptable x"

All of that could happen with a woman too though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?

What a selfish guy He doesnt give a shit about fucking other girls in front of you but wont let you reciprocate and fuck guys in front of him

I don't think that's entirely fair to say. Different things work for different folk

This.

It could be that he's not that confident, has low self esteem or it could be that he's jealous.

Or he could be selfish, without knowing him it's really hard to tell.

I don’t think it’s confidence or self esteem. He worries about feeling jealous and end up ruining the evening. He also worries about someone behaving with me in a way he finds unacceptable x"

Set boundaries with anybody you meet. That way nobody behaves with you in a way you find unacceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we’ve talked about it and he says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about watching someone else fuck me.

Any thoughts about how to get him on board?"

So this was us at the beginning for sure and my reasons for feeling that way are as follows:

She was fancying guys that looked very different from me. Made me a bit uneasy about myself.

What if she preferred them?

What if she cum harder/more etc...

Then I realised I trust her and they’re different guys because that’s what’s horny for her, and the hornier she gets, the hornier I get! Now I just love to watch her getting fucked!

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I think there are some very different approaches to swinging and it's difficult to see another couples approach. I read the, he's being selfish, I'm not getting what I want etc and it doesn't make sense to me as that isn't how we do things so can only write from our point of view, mr here btw.

For us it is always a mutual thing and is also mutually agreed on, it's about having fun together and we're in it to enhance our experience together as a "team" so to speak, others seem to approach it as 2 seperate people getting what they want from it but it mutually benefits them and there's nothing wrong with that if that's their dynamic, if either of us wanted to call it a day we would, no questions asked, if it isn't what we both want what's the point?

We are mainly into couples but would probably do ffm and currently don't do mmf. This is my choice and she has never pushed it although has said she'd like to, my reasoning isn't anything to do with her being with another man we do that with couples and it doesn't bother me at all, for me it's the social side of it I can't get my head around. With couples we chat, get on well and play together knowing roughly where their heads are at, I couldn't imagine doing this with a single bloke, I'm also not keen on just a straight off meet reading how some of the single guys on here think of it (from reading forum posts and how they've acted in the past) so if it ever happens it'll probably either be a guy we already know from a couple or a guy we get chatting to in a club as that sort of bypasses the social side for things but either way it'll be something we're both happy with as that's how it works for us.

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