FabSwingers.com forum: Poly Amory

By *unrise_Sunset OP Couple
over a year ago

Bedford

[Removed by poster at 03/05/12 13:27:48]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awww was all exited then , wanted to see peoples views on the subject

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"awww was all exited then , wanted to see peoples views on the subject

Me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

ok... i see it as the same as having more than one kid, you love them both, your love does not diminish because another child is born...the fact they are different is a reason to love them more not less...

That said some people only want one child, others have clear favorites...

Do i believe you can love more than one person, yes, can everyone, no. And thats without an analysis of the different kinds of love that exist!

MAny poly boards are just full of people too posh to call themselves swingers though, i know i have hung out on a few, and used to describe myself as polymorous.

Then i realsied the problem was the English language, many swingers love their friends, and fuck them, some people have fuck buddies they are very close to, others have people they love they would never dream of having sex with, the spark just isnt there.

i now think the poly banner was invented for people who needed a group to fit into and rather than celebrating their individuality they started another clique with rules and twueness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...i know it can be done...

I love two man and not in relationship with any of them...

...not misters right as i am not Mrs right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is something that I have fantasized about. I doubt that I will ever be happy with just one man, I doubt I will ever share my home. But I do think I could share it with more than one man...

Especially if they were bi and also into each other...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"This is something that I have fantasized about. I doubt that I will ever be happy with just one man, I doubt I will ever share my home. But I do think I could share it with more than one man...

Especially if they were bi and also into each other...

i often wonder what might have happened if our 3 way relationship at uni had not come when we were young, inexperienced and the men were a bit repressed.

We all cared deeply for each other and could have lived together v happily, we were just too young and daft to suggest it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Well, you live and learn. There was me thinking it was parrot love...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Well, you live and learn. There was me thinking it was parrot love..."

There was me thinking it was Latin for loving polo...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Well, you live and learn. There was me thinking it was parrot love...

There was me thinking it was Latin for loving polo...

Or a suggestion that she's amoral!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We both love the idea in theory. Finding one person you truly love is more than most people manage in a lifetime though, the odds of it happening twice are pretty low. Until then, like you say, there are always fuck buddy friends for couples

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

If you want a controversial argument google polyamory is for people too ugly to be swingers.

It's not the title, it's the people it attracts that worries me.

The difference seems to be the concept and people trying to intellectualise the idea of swinging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"We both love the idea in theory. Finding one person you truly love is more than most people manage in a lifetime though, the odds of it happening twice are pretty low. Until then, like you say, there are always fuck buddy friends for couples

Only if you think love is only one thing...i see there being many different sorts of love...not better or worse just different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Polyamory is the centreparcs to swingings butlins discuss?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We know 3 women who are in a polyamorous lesbian relationship. They're not swingers but live together and have sex, they're quite open about it generally but not the details - we're intrigued whether they have 3somes or take turns in pairs. Two of them were a pair for years and both fell in love with another female so she moved in. Seems to be becoming more usual these days, but we guess the dynamics might be very different if one of the three was a man.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are poly and looking for a femalee to be that special 3rd link in our relationship x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicyangelCouple
over a year ago

Winchester

We would love to be poly with another guy. The problem is we have kids and I dont relish the prospect of explaining our choices to them or the rest of the family ! Shame - it could be so perfect...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a autie who was married and her lover lived with them and family was fine with it all , Maybe alot could not handle it but it works for some people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been in a polyamorous relationship. It is difficult. I'm Gay and the person in I was with was married and Bi. Hubby was straight. We all got on great as Friends, but there were insecurities and jealousies to contend with. For me, I can only love one person, fully, at a time. My Partner could love two. Just because I couldn't didn't mean that she couldn't and so I believe Polyamory is workable. But it can only be successful if all parties are equal. In that I mean you have equal say and input within the relationship and you are all given equal consideration. The risk is being the 3rd person to enter an already successful relationship and not being treated equally. I never had sex with my Partners Hubby, although he would have liked that!!!!!! That in itself was a bone of contention, although my boundaries were always respected. Ultimately you don't want to end up as a third wheel, or as nothing more than a play thing. Play things are fine when you are swinging, but it's different when you are in an emotional as well as a physical relationship. I can't speak for my partner at the time, but she had to work very hard at making sure both her partners were kept happy, both emotionally and physically and was very particular about spending equal time with each of us. To be honest, I don't know how she did it, lol! There has to be a high level of respect for all parties involved and communication has to be open and free. It's not good to bottle things up in a Poly relationship. You can't let anything fester as it upsets the balance. Monogamous relationships are hard, Poly relationships are not for the faint hearted.

Just my 2 cents worth, lol!

Hippo x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not for me as I believe in the two people relationship/marriage but then I also find love difficult so I have yet to find anyone that I really felt love for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman
over a year ago

amersham

Sounds like the perfect set up to me in theory.

Don't imagine in practice it would be so easy though...certain amount of jealousy, rivalry and resentment probably inevitable in the end, maybe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very interesting thoughts. In a different time and place I might be open to a relationship like that. But as it is, I am happy loving one person only and having occasional fun with others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would solve a lot of relationship problems if you had 2 or 3 life partners.

Variety, more opinions, and if you pick different types or partner all should be well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got lots of sandpaper... does polyemery count?

Wolf

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something that has been somewhat known in James family with both a great grandfather and an uncle being what would now be described as poly amourus.

Both lived with between 2 and 3 women for a great proportion of their lives.

Its something we would consider too, big house in the country where maybe 6/8 people live and all totally open mindedly share, sex, love each other

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would solve a lot of relationship problems if you had 2 or 3 life partners.

Variety, more opinions, and if you pick different types or partner all should be well

Believe me, it can create far more problems than it solves. It is not an easy option. And it's not just about having a different sexual partner to fall back on when things get a little 'tired' in your relationship. You have to really love the person you are entering a Poly relationship with. It isn't just about 'free love'. It's about having and sharing a committed relationship with a person just as if you were monogamous. Polyamory is not a 'get out of jail free' card for philanderers, lol! It may sound exciting and it can be, but juggling 3 or more persons feelings, needs, desires, moods etc is HARD WORK, not an easy option! Trust me, I have been there

Hippo x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get this it's soooooooo possible to love and certainly have very strong feelings for and care about more than one person at a time, sexually, romantically and otherwise.

It's the bestest kinda fb too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the true downside of this though must surely be numerous mother in laws ???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would solve a lot of relationship problems if you had 2 or 3 life partners.

Variety, more opinions, and if you pick different types or partner all should be well

Hippo x"

Juggling 3 or more persons feeling, needs, desires, moods etc ??? Oh ... just like a mother then?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would solve a lot of relationship problems if you had 2 or 3 life partners.

Variety, more opinions, and if you pick different types or partner all should be well

Hippo x

Juggling 3 or more persons feeling, needs, desires, moods etc ??? Oh ... just like a mother then?"

No, not really. Unless of course you are into incest.......and I don't think you are!!!

Totally different and to think otherwise is somewhat niave. Being in a Poly relationship isn't a game, it's as serious as any committed relationship would be. There just happens to be more than 2 people involved. Honestly, I get the impression that most who have commented here would enjoy the benefits of having an extra partner, i.e. the sex, but would ignore the extra effort it takes to maintain such a relationship. If all you are after is NSA sex, then simply 'Swing'. A more varied sex life shouldn't be the reason for wanting or entering into a Poly relationship. It's not about having a FB to hand when it takes your fancy, lol! Again, if that's what you are after, a Poly relationship isn't for you. Have a Friend with benefits and or Swing. I think some of you MAY be missing the point. But that's just me. I can be a bit deep sometimes, lol!

Hippo x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicyangelCouple
over a year ago

Winchester

So lots of people seem to think this can work, but are there any true poly couples on Fab ? I'd love to hear from them about how they make it work.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Maybe there are - maybe they don't want to talk about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the like a mother comment... As what they are meaning is that a mother can love all her children without it taking away from any of the children she loves.

We keep trying to find someone for a proper Poly relationship but find that most seem to struggle with it... I guess mostly as me are the primary and I'd never love or care for anyone the same as I do My master...But for The short time we did have it we found it was very much us..

Cali

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rather fortunate, in a way. I don't seem to love anyone, in the way people go on about love. I care about people. Some I care about totally, others to different level. My children totally, the person in the supermarket queue, enough so they get through quickly...

It works for me, others do get miffed that I don't love....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id happily consider poly with chris and another man guess thats diff to a man and 2 women xxx above all if it makes ya happy and u hurt no one why not xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds exciteing ,wouldn't say no to trying if met the right person, but does it work and how do you explain it to family, or is it a lodger in the house ,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

As this thread is a year old I'd say it's poly gon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The further we go into the new way we're looking at the world... the more arbitrary monogamy seems. Did you know we are the only apes who practice it? Indeed, in nature, polygamy seems to be the norm. And yet throughout most of the developed world it is illegal

Sit in a busy town square and you'll see everyone divided off into twos, perhaps with some kids in tow, but mostly twos. Younger people hang out in groups... and older folks do too. But most 'adults' go around in twos, often only talking to each other, looking at each other, and very much shut off from the world around them.

I think the point is that it takes us 40 years before we realise this way of living is a bunch of crock and we start to wish we had a wider more adventurous circle of friends... only by that point most of us are shrivelled up old farts and we end up having to hang out with the ones who aren't dead yet lol

You love someone... that's great! But why stop there? It seems completely arbitrary imo

I think the more interesting angle is not whether we would open our relationship up and allow a third person in... but whether that would appeal to the third person. For a start it's gonna be daunting, my wife and I are deeply compatible, have had many adventures, and still very much love each other after 20 years of living very closely together. Secondly, as some of the posts here suggest, being a third part of a scenario may not be as rewarding to them as having someone all to them self. I think it would take a special type of single person to buy into a polyamorous relationship... but maybe love covers up the cracks in this case

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was gonna add... if polygamy was legal and accepted by society I see no special reason why it would have any negative effect whatsoever upon the key goals of family and child rearing. I think it is purely the stigma of it, and the laws attitude to it, which makes it a difficult path.

That is why I'm growingly of the opinion that polygamy is to us today, what homosexuality was to people 30-40 years ago. Our attitudes and laws in relation to it are informed only by bigotry, ignorance, and fear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was gonna add... if polygamy was legal and accepted by society I see no special reason why it would have any negative effect whatsoever upon the key goals of family and child rearing. I think it is purely the stigma of it, and the laws attitude to it, which makes it a difficult path.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivate roomMan
over a year ago

Bracknell

horny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread