FabSwingers.com forum: Pussy substitute?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your hand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stranger wank?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bum hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teddy bear

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Pocket pussy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well that opened up some interest . . .pardon the pun

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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago

Harringay

Sofa cushions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pound of raw liver and a boxing glove

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wet up your couch cushions and go to town on them

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either...

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

A ring donut!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Watermelon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."

Each to their own but WOW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warm apple pie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either...

Each to their own but WOW"

Interesting lol

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Anything silk (shirt, boxer shorts) under your mattress

So a friend told me....

Failing that, Ann Summers do a cheap Fleshlight knock off

So the sane friend told me....

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Anything silk (shirt, boxer shorts) under your mattress

How do you feel the silk if it is under your mattress ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all these replies; this could run and run. Pocket pussy winning so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t that what flesh lights are for?

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By *ovestolickclitsMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

I have a clear fleshlight that is also a pump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me "

And makes a sandwich for your lunch afterwards!

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By *hite russianWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me "

A dead animal? You sick bstard!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

I think the Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy or one of those latex artificial pussy things is about as good as it gets. Lovehoney have a great range, have a look. I don't use anything like this myself, so can't comment on how good any of them are, but if any guys want to give discreet feedback, feel free to message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

"
is this a vegan thing..... omg theyre taking over the world

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me

A dead animal? You sick bstard!"

O you’ve tasted it too. I know it’s rank but it feels soooooo good

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By *hite russianWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me

A dead animal? You sick bstard!

O you’ve tasted it too. I know it’s rank but it feels soooooo good

A slaughtered turkey is probably all you can get (and deserve)

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Anything silk (shirt, boxer shorts) under your mattress

How do you feel the silk if it is under your mattress ?"

Under the mattress, but on top of the _ase.

Then slide your old chap in between the two....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tin of chunky Tuna. Get the smell as well. !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wafer thin Ham from Tesco (honey roast), Warburton's thick slice and shit tons of clover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So get a balloon. Add jelly. Let it set. There you go a home made pussy if you can get your willy through the hole, maybe add warm custard as lube and for extra sensation...and you can even eat it after

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By *LOVEpinacoladasWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex

Jar of liver is what I remember from schooldays...

Or sit on your hand until it goes numb and wank with that!

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By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A pack of Bernard Mathews sliced turkey works for me

And makes a sandwich for your lunch afterwards!"

That reminds me of the old Wild West joke.

A cowboy walks up to the Indian Chief and one of his Braves. The cowboy pulls out two slices of bread, and wanks off into them.

The Chief smiles and says, "White man cum in piece!".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I think you'll find my Ham sandwich is even better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I think you'll find my Ham sandwich is even better

Tasty snack once it's served it's purpose too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

This

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear.

Desperation is deeply unsexy.

Think about Margaret Thatcher, that should deflate you OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol"

Explanation required....

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Oil of ulay and hand. And makes your hands really smooth and they look so young

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Stick your dick between 2 sponges in the toilet seat,lol

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol

Explanation required....

Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I think you'll find my Ham sandwich is even better

Tasty snack once it's served it's purpose too "

With self-supplied mayonnaise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can of pringles lined with wet sponges if you want a cheap DIY fleshlight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol

Explanation required....

Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo

Point made. Loud and clear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Warm apple pie

Haha beat me to it

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Sorry OP. Hate to break it to you. There simply isn’t an adequate substitute

I disagree ... it so depends on what you are dealing with lol

Explanation required....

Well let me reverse it... say you were confronted with a dick that looked like it had been involved in an accident and thought...Would you still have that over a glass dildo

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Rabbit? Guinea pig? Ooh or a chinchilla maybe, they're supposed to be fun!

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

My glory hole...simple unzip and unload...No drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people that can't have a cat end up getting a dog. Though i know someone that decided to have fish. But goldfish won't catch mice for you, and you can't take them out for a walk either..."

This made me crack up

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By *n With LifeCouple
over a year ago

Hadley Wood

"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

What’s wrong with the real thing?!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Tripe

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

What’s wrong with the real thing?! "

Not always available

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By *dsindyTV/TS
over a year ago

East Lancashire

Latex glove, liberally applied baby oil, place between 2 cushions tightly.......have at it sir.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm forced to agree with you. Some entertaining replies though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pocket pussy or fleshlight is probably the best you’ll get. Or a sex doll but they’re expensive and hard to store when not in use.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can't substitute it for doggy surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Warm apple pie

"
ha ha ha thats my ans gone lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you could always turn bi...

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw a video with a woman using grapefruit on her man, cut hole in middle and wanked him with it

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Fold it back, move your balls to one side and do your bum...QED

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Fold it back, move your balls to one side and do your bum...QED"

That's going to be my new standard response for when I want to tell someone to go fuck themselves.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Fold it back, move your balls to one side and do your bum...QED

That's going to be my new standard response for when I want to tell someone to go fuck themselves.

A"
Its possibly gonna be the new gauge to replace Sky Remotes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all. I've since discovered that the best substitute is another pussy . . .or 2. Surprising number of offers of help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This might have been asked before but do any horny men have ideas for something that would work as a pussy substitute? Sensible(!) ideas would help as I'm horny as hell!

Have you researched fleshlights, no not flashlights?

I used to have one, it was a pretty good substitute for a man, for a while at least.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Thanks all. I've since discovered that the best substitute is another pussy . . .or 2. Surprising number of offers of help!

Blimey! Was it this easy? I’ll have to start a similar thread myself......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A flesh light

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By *achel SmythTV/TS
over a year ago

Farnborough

I love my Fleshlight. Warm the latex inner in warm water - feels fab.

Just ordered a clear one too ....

Rachel xxx

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