FabSwingers.com forum: Really need some help

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd seriously consider a name change.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'd seriously consider a name change."

What he said!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

All looks in order to me

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I'd seriously consider a name change."
what’s wrong with ‘monster’?

It’s a fab profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like a Fab profile to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s perfect

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok...so the question is...why am I not up to my nutts in guts...

I must be failing somewhere...

I have all ready changed my name from pussycumlicker69 which I thought was a bit forward

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By *ugarbaby777TV/TS
over a year ago

Sheffield

Assuming this is a parody account?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well there's nothing wrong with your profile. Maybe change your name and add a couple of pics etc. Your into a re ally amazing variety of things which i think is always a good thing. Good luck m8

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well there's nothing wrong with your profile. Maybe change your name and add a couple of pics etc. Your into a re ally amazing variety of things which i think is always a good thing. Good luck m8 "

Cheers pal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Assuming this is a parody account?

Not tried that yet but as Ive said open to anything

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I would ( if the cream works)

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By *asterandGenieCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

That was the result of the spruce up? Jeez it must have been really bad if you think that's an improvement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No public pics, here without your wife's knowledge and permission, ticked every single box in the interests section- do I really need to continue spelling out reasons your inbox is a bit empty?

And I agree with one of the previous posters, your profile sounds like a joke rather than a serious attempt at making it on Fab. But whatever rocks your boat.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a parody account, dont see anyone taking you seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

Name change , that first word makes me want to hurl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!! "

What she said.

It's the only thing missing.

I would

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!! "

With a dick the size of a chipolata I wasn't going to bother...but if you think it will help....and I'll wear these pants for a few days 1st aswell...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

Name change , that first word makes me want to hurl"

This was my original one pussycumlicker69

Better or worse ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are we bothering this is just a piss take account

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!!

What she said.

It's the only thing missing.

I would

Looking in all honesty you are exactly the type of attractive sophisticated fun loving lady I'm trying to attract, so if you think it will work...I'm all for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why are we bothering this is just a piss take account "

Smile

I'll buy you a pint when up at funny girls next. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!!

What she said.

It's the only thing missing.

I would

Looking in all honesty you are exactly the type of attractive sophisticated fun loving lady I'm trying to attract, so if you think it will work...I'm all for it"

I'm inspired to update my profile in the same style

You must me fighting them off with a stick now.

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

With a name like that I wouldn't even open your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need more dick pics I’d say ideally with a dirty toilet and soiled underwear in the background that should sort it !!!

What she said.

It's the only thing missing.

I would

Looking in all honesty you are exactly the type of attractive sophisticated fun loving lady I'm trying to attract, so if you think it will work...I'm all for it

I'm inspired to update my profile in the same style

You must me fighting them off with a stick now. "

Yes I've even had to add shit to the end of the stick....it was getting that bad...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"With a name like that I wouldn't even open your profile "

Ok maybe time for another rethink

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok...the views on my profile have gone up quite a bit....2345 last look... I've been sent at least 60 dick pics...(thank you) and 3 bum hole shots...( again thank you)

BUT ... not a single fanny photo...not even some battered spunk filled Keebab... what am I still doing wrong ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't got any photos of poorly fitting fetishwear or pics taken in the reverse camera going up your nose. You haven't insulted anyone's intelligence whilst bringing your own personal standards into question - no profile is complete without the "needs to try to be able to hold a decent conversation" comment yanno.

Mentioning discretion as many times as possible and alluding to "nothing will shock me" and other hints towards the truly horrible sexual practices. I mean...why are you even making a profile if you haven't got a sweaty lorry cab bed encrusted with jizz ? Passive aggressive comments are missing from your profile as well as the all important cluster B personality disorder giveaways.

I mean, really, you can do better

You'd tell us you can ?

Thanks for the fun though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You haven't got any photos of poorly fitting fetishwear or pics taken in the reverse camera going up your nose. You haven't insulted anyone's intelligence whilst bringing your own personal standards into question - no profile is complete without the "needs to try to be able to hold a decent conversation" comment yanno.

I mean, really, you can do better

You'd tell us you can ?

Thanks for the fun though."

I truly value your well thought out advice... I think I've been holding back incase I could possibly aliante anyone... the way forward is just to let my true personality shine through...

Thanks again and if you want some dick pics sending give me a shout..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonderful profile

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By *ick_and_BickerCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Tells me everything I need to know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wonderful profile

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, really, you can do better

You'd tell us you can ?

Thanks for the fun though.

I truly value your well thought out advice... I think I've been holding back incase I could possibly aliante anyone... the way forward is just to let my true personality shine through...

Thanks again and if you want some dick pics sending give me a shout..

Only if they are really unusual or taken at special angles or held in a stanglehold tightly at the base. Extra points for over dirty toilets with your brown underpants round your ankles OR taken in hotel rooms ( because you never get alone time on your own own/dare not get caught by your curiously suspicious wifey)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I mean, really, you can do better

You'd tell us you can ?

Thanks for the fun though.

I truly value your well thought out advice... I think I've been holding back incase I could possibly aliante anyone... the way forward is just to let my true personality shine through...

Thanks again and if you want some dick pics sending give me a shout..

I can hold mine so tight ... I've actually fainted... that's got to be a talent in itself...will keep wearing the same pants for the next week...and then forward pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, really, you can do better

You'd tell us you can ?

Thanks for the fun though.

I truly value your well thought out advice... I think I've been holding back incase I could possibly aliante anyone... the way forward is just to let my true personality shine through...

Thanks again and if you want some dick pics sending give me a shout..

I can hold mine so tight ... I've actually fainted... that's got to be a talent in itself...will keep wearing the same pants for the next week...and then forward pictures.

A week ??? Amateur !!! Wear them so long your butthole gets itchy and you end up poking your finger through them to get at your sweetmeat

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

Do you do bareback though? The people want to know

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It would be better with public photos that can be reverse image searched, for those wanting extra validity, to photos of micro-cocked men of the pre-1st world war period archives.

Otherwise, it can take some time, for people to build up their confidence to meet you. You'll improve message levels if you emphasise bareback requirements.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP.

Your profile has all the attributes of any potential Television Show, say on Channel 4, on the true but secret ways on the best ways to meet Women.

Comedy Genius!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK.. things have gone a bit stale for me on here and am opening up my mind to new ideas..

I gave my profile a spruce up today in the hope my inbox would light up...but alas it hasn't

Please review me and any criticism, thoughts, ideas or advice would be very welcome.

Do you do bareback though? The people want to know"

Yes I'm fully prepared for bareback although by choice I prefer to keep my vest on...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP.

Your profile has all the attributes of any potential Television Show, say on Channel 4, on the true but secret ways on the best ways to meet Women.

Comedy Genius!"

If I actually ever get to meet any women or men or anyone really...then I will be the first to pitch it to chanel 4...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So tiny or 8"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So tiny or 8"

Unfortunately mine is the size of a tick tack.. but it's always good to know that your partner in crime can handle a decent size tool up the Gary....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So tiny or 8"

Unfortunately mine is the size of a tick tack.. but it's always good to know that your partner in crime can handle a decent size tool up the Gary....

Suppose it would make the DP easy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So tiny or 8"

Unfortunately mine is the size of a tick tack.. but it's always good to know that your partner in crime can handle a decent size tool up the Gary....

Suppose it would make the DP easy"

Peice of cake . I tend to open the back door....

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

Username would put me off looking any further

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Username would put me off looking any further

Good luck

You said it. Gave me chills!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Butt funny....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deffo name change

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok maybe monster is not such a good name ... what about

Clunge magnet

Clunge hunter

Or even more refined

Professor Clunge

Maybe with a cheeky 69 at the end ?

All input welcome

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Clunge lunger ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love clunge??

This really is a great profile. Very informative. Possibly add a few 'action shots' into public viewing.

You also haven't stated whether you're 420 friendly?!? Might help out a little.

Good luck anyway you seem like a lovely guy...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Clunge lunger ?"

One for the list

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love clunge??

This really is a great profile. Very informative. Possibly add a few 'action shots' into public viewing.

You also haven't stated whether you're 420 friendly?!? Might help out a little.

Good luck anyway you seem like a lovely guy...

Good point... will add now thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi all I am fairly new to the site

Finding it hard going

I am not Good at taking pics or talking about myself

Any tips on what I can do to make my profile sound better please feel free to message me and give pointers or advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi all I am fairly new to the site

Finding it hard going

I am not Good at taking pics or talking about myself

Any tips on what I can do to make my profile sound better please feel free to message me and give pointers or advice

Good profile but take all your pictures in black and white....more artistic

Just remember there are about 150 guys to each woman....so it can take months/years to get your willy wet...

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok buddy thanks for the tip yeah was here last year for 10months and had same trouble so. Thought try again will change the pics

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Deffo name change "

Clunge Muncher ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd seriously consider a name change."

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Deffo name change

Clunge Muncher ?"

Yes I like it....although not my favourite activity

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Clunge Plunger ?

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By *r bright sideMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Yeah I'm also a newbie and I'm struggling to get on on here,I'm just a genuine normal man but I feel I'm getting tarred with the same brush lol,have a great w.end all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Clunge Plunger ?"

Yes.. I love a good plunge...the only problem is I've just started a new business offering profile advice and have ordered 30,000 business cards as Clunge Monster

..I'm sure they will go quickly though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I'm also a newbie and I'm struggling to get on on here,I'm just a genuine normal man but I feel I'm getting tarred with the same brush lol,have a great w.end all"

Its the odds on here that go against blokes...150 to 1 woman and a lot of those women are looking for fanny action aswell...

Have a good one

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Clunge Plunger ?

Yes.. I love a good plunge...the only problem is I've just started a new business offering profile advice and have ordered 30,000 business cards as Clunge Monster

..I'm sure they will go quickly though. "

Maybe buy a couple of bottles of Tippex ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Clunge Plunger ?

Yes.. I love a good plunge...the only problem is I've just started a new business offering profile advice and have ordered 30,000 business cards as Clunge Monster

..I'm sure they will go quickly though.

Maybe buy a couple of bottles of Tippex ?"

You are a real problem solver.. when I have a multi million pound business reviewing people's swinging profiles ... I would like to offer you a job as my right hand person....or you could use your left if you prefer.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

How about I write a number on the back of each of your 30,000 business cards. Then when you get down to a certain number (69 for example ?) you know it's time to order some new ones ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How about I write a number on the back of each of your 30,000 business cards. Then when you get down to a certain number (69 for example ?) you know it's time to order some new ones ? "

You are definitely not just a pretty face.... that is brilliant...did you give the job any thought ?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You are definitely not just a pretty face"

How do you know ? You have never seen my face. I can assure you it is hideous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You are definitely not just a pretty face

How do you know ? You have never seen my face. I can assure you it is hideous. "

I was hoping you would say that...I need to stop masturbating thinking about you...please tell me you look like zelda from terrorhawkes or my mate Daves second wife.. now that's a face that could curdle milk...she was so ugly they had to tie a steak round her neck to get the dog to play with her....

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I am your mate Dave's second wife. Don't you recognize his red baize snooker table from my pics ? So many fond memories. He often used to chalk the tip of his penis then wank into a pocket while I pushed the pink ball up his arse. Then I would untie the steak from round my neck and fry it for his supper. He relished the taste of dog slobber.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am your mate Dave's second wife. Don't you recognize his red baize snooker table from my pics ? So many fond memories. He often used to chalk the tip of his penis then wank into a pocket while I pushed the pink ball up his arse. Then I would untie the steak from round my neck and fry it for his supper. He relished the taste of dog slobber. "

Oh my days ... it is really you Ursala....I'm really sorry how things turned out with you and Dave...and I want you to know I had nothing to do with selling you to the goat farmer when we went on that group holiday to Sudan.. In fact I was the one who said that things had gone to far....plus how the fuck are we going to get three goats through customs....how did you escape ? That bloke was so keen on you...he reckoned with a face like yours they would never get another lion within 5 miles of his farm....that bloody snooker table rotted away in the end...damp and clymidia... glad I was shit at snooker though I never potted the pink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post is too funny!!!!!

Mr clunge magnet???

I personally think you should branch out and set up a website. Failing that, a popup advert??

Ps, can I have a job working from home?

her x

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

No cock pics. When it comes down to it that's what women want. I would load a up a few. Spread arse cheeks work as well, women can't resist a an "open and honest man"

You seem a bit shy also. Maybe try and be more assertive in your messaging.

Women like confident assertive guys and like to simply be led. So many men just sit back expecting the women on here to put in all the work.

Hope this helps op and we can arrange something once you have those photos up.

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By *amie_leighWoman
over a year ago

coventry

You have forgotten the pic with the sky remote

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