FabSwingers.com forum: Single Guy First Time Clubbing

By *ingOfTongue OP Man
over a year ago

All over

Hey all!

I'm a young, single guy and want to go to my first club night but I have absolutely no idea what to do/expect...

What sort of things do you wear/bring with you?

How do you introduce yourself in a club without sounding weird or creepy?

Any recommendations for clubs or club nights (in or around brum) that would be a good place for dipping my toe into the club world waters?

Even better if any singles/couples want to message me and arrange a social before a club night so I'm not going in completely alone.

Cheers, in advance, for the help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

first choose your club

Secondly view their website for dress code and things you may need.

Thirdly contact the club let them know you are interested see if they have a list or if you can join immediately. Let them know you are know and arrange a time to visit so they can show you around and explain about the club.

Good luck. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be aware. Going doesn’t mean getting sex. Be social and talk to people like any club. If conversation isn’t flowing easy, they aren’t going to be the right people for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs can be good dependant on the night. Also, you can feel like a bit of a stalker as the ratio in clubs is similar to here with men massively out numbering the women.

I would recommend trying out each. I found chams and xtasia to both be quite good but as I say it depends on the night. Clubs are good places to meet like minded people but yeah as advised earlier, there's no guarantees for anything because lack of women who attend. I have had some great nights in clubs but yeah you also have those nights where you do feel desperado amongst the waves of men attending for the same thing.

Only one way to find out though...

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By *owhambamMan
over a year ago

clacton

Went to my first club just before Xmas, like someone explained before, does all depend on the night. Where I went was not what I expected. I found myself quite overdressed, there were plenty of guys in jeans, which I thought was a no no. So pick a club then ask on forum for specific nights dress code. Club code might be dress smart, but more relaxed on certain nights. You’ve already started on the right track by asking on here.

Good luck

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By *exy4youxxWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract

"Went to my first club just before Xmas, like someone explained before, does all depend on the night. Where I went was not what I expected. I found myself quite overdressed, there were plenty of guys in jeans, which I thought was a no no. So pick a club then ask on forum for specific nights dress code. Club code might be dress smart, but more relaxed on certain nights. You’ve already started on the right track by asking on here.

Good luck "

Dont ever think your overdressed

if I had an attraction to 2 guys the one who made the most effort would win every time

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Good luck "

This reminds me of the night I visited a well-known club in Yorkshire. Reading through their website, they stated their dress code for men was ‘dress to impress’, no jeans or trainers were allowed. On the night, only myself and one other guy had made any effort with a shirt, trousers and proper shoes, the other guy being a first timer in there too! Everyone else was slumming it in jeans, t-shirts and trainers! There were about 25 guys in, and 3 couples. You had to get ‘dressed down’ to wander around the play areas upstairs, but during the time I was there (9:30 to midnight) there was literally no point as nobody was playing!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Check out the club reviews as this will give you lots of different people's opinions on lots of different venues.

Then as advised above regarding contacting the club to get on a list. On the night treat it like you you would any other social situation, it's kind of like a sexy nightclub, be approachable, friendly, polite and hopefully you will have a fabulous time.

For me I really enjoy the social side of the lifestyle so I go to clubs to chat to people and catch up with friends, it's only certain circumstances that make me want to intimately engage, people are there for lots of different things, going to a club does not guarantee anything.

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By *eddynAngelCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

Another plug for Xtasia here.

Repeating what has been said but it is good advice.

Treat it like a usual night out to a club;

go in with no expectations other than having a good time. No matter what does or does not happen.

As for avoiding sounding like a creep or a weirdo the best and cheesiest advice I can give you is be you. Try and relax a bit. As has been mentioned already, if the conversation doesn't flow it won't lead anywhere.

Teddy had a question for me and 2 other women in Xtasia last week. He wanted to know why when he was playing wingman the girl fell for him not the mate he was trying to big her up to. It is because Teddy approached her with no expectation of sex, he simply chatted to her.

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

You also need to consider that not everyone going well be looking for single men. A decent proportion of couples will be looking for other couples

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

Been to clubs twice on my own. It's so much harder without my wife with me. Can understand how difficult it is. Made a point of not loitering and following people around as that's what my missus really dislikes. Not a great experience for me.

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By *exy4youxxWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract

"Been to clubs twice on my own. It's so much harder without my wife with me. Can understand how difficult it is. Made a point of not loitering and following people around as that's what my missus really dislikes. Not a great experience for me. "

I have been on my own before and was shocked that no single males would strike up a conversation but would follow you around its quite creepy x

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Fair play to you mate, you can see both sides of the coin now

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By *he-ProfessorMan
over a year ago

cheltenham

As advised check out the dress code before going, also check they are allowing new single male members / visitors as most clubs try to keep the numbers balanced for obvious reasons.

Next point, take a hair brush, deodorant and cologne with you.

If you get lucky or go to a club with spa type features you'll want to freshen up before any more social interactions.

Now treat it like a normal night out, as if you were going to a bar in a strange town alone.

You'll have to strike up the conversation, keep it simple & polite.

Compliments on eyes, hair, outfits tend to be a safe bet but you need to follow it up quickly.

Don't be too forward but being bashful tends not to work either.

Politely confident in summary.

Set your expectations as "a night at the bar with conversation", that will help you relax & be social.

Remember, nobody wants a 2nd shadow & if you get even a hint that your company isn't appreciated politely take your leave. If you were wrong that person is likely to then ask you to stay or find you later.

Better that than become a nuisance & put everyone else off too, that is easily done!

Relax, be social, keep smiling and you'll have a great time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As advised check out the dress code before going, also check they are allowing new single male members / visitors as most clubs try to keep the numbers balanced for obvious reasons.

Next point, take a hair brush, deodorant and cologne with you.

If you get lucky or go to a club with spa type features you'll want to freshen up before any more social interactions.

Now treat it like a normal night out, as if you were going to a bar in a strange town alone.

You'll have to strike up the conversation, keep it simple & polite.

Compliments on eyes, hair, outfits tend to be a safe bet but you need to follow it up quickly.

Don't be too forward but being bashful tends not to work either.

Politely confident in summary.

Set your expectations as "a night at the bar with conversation", that will help you relax & be social.

Better that than become a nuisance & put everyone else off too, that is easily done!

Relax, be social, keep smiling and you'll have a great time. "

Superb advice.

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