FabSwingers.com forum: Is it hard to find..

By *ubynaughty OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Is is hard to find someone on here that doesnt want to jump straight into bed and have sex? I know this site is prominently for sex but we are looking for someone to meet socially as well and get to know them as it's a big thing bringing a third person into our relationship!

Ruby X

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

I don't find it hard at all. Key is to state what you want clearly in profile--and expect that most messages won't be what you want.

ie, "happy to meet for a social" conveys a different thing than "only social til we're all ready to move ahead."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We often meet for socials it’s fine and normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a social most times prefer one to a planned meet with expectations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is is hard to find someone on here that doesnt want to jump straight into bed and have sex? I know this site is prominently for sex but we are looking for someone to meet socially as well and get to know them as it's a big thing bringing a third person into our relationship!

Ruby X"

We generally prefer to meet socially to ensure chemistry first.

We take our time and will back out if something doesn't sit right or feel pressured.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I'm still trying to find someone who bakes decent cakes

I've just logged on again after a year away. It's always been more about the social side of things than anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always insist on socials prior to anything else. A lot of guys/couples don't like this but that's just how I prefer it. X

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Your profile says happy to meet for a social first if needed. This makes it seem as though it isn’t always needed.

If you want to socialise and get to know someone first then perhaps put that.

Plus you’ve got down you are only looking for f and ff, so block everyone else from messaging you. I can’t believe you get many in those categories looking to meet up for sex straight away

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

We make it clear to people that we are in it for the social side as much as the sex side. When we start chatting we tell them we want friendship first and then we can see how it goes. We also state in our profile a social is needed first before anything else will happen. It's worked well so far, we have found a few amazing people that we have been lucky enough to want to be a regular thing with us. I think you just have to be up front about what you're looking for and stick to your guns.

Gem

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By *ubynaughty OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

"Your profile says happy to meet for a social first if needed. This makes it seem as though it isn’t always needed.

If you want to socialise and get to know someone first then perhaps put that.

Plus you’ve got down you are only looking for f and ff, so block everyone else from messaging you. I can’t believe you get many in those categories looking to meet up for sex straight away "

Thanks, will change this! X

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Very happy to socialize and see where things lead....can take time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather chat socially to someone and see what ticks there boxes.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

You should go to a club OP.

You get the best of both worlds, a great social and if you click, the environment that was made for what comes next.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Maybe add some pics of the male op,any woman considering meeting/chatting with you would want to see both people.

All female pics will get more single men messaging you with sexy type messages

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Ruby X"

Finding people for a social is difficult enough. Then finding people that look like their pics or that you actually click with is worse. But there’s the odd gem. Keep at it!

Mrs J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby X"

Exactly what we found aswell but we just say it’s only a social if all ok would meet again and maybe have some fun

Been on fab for years and we still only have social first and yes it’s difficult at times to find the right couple or single x

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By *ubynaughty OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

"Maybe add some pics of the male op,any woman considering meeting/chatting with you would want to see both people.

All female pics will get more single men messaging you with sexy type messages

I totally get that, my partner is not keen on having photos on here. He is more than happy to show himself once I've spoken to someone abit, I know this isnt ideal. X

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I insist on social meets first. There has to be chemistry and an attraction.

I think it depends on what you're looking for. Personally I'm looking for regular playmates rather than one offs.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

Ruby X"

its hard for a male to find a couple who this applies to aswel... currently looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always go for socials first with both couples and single guys but to be honest we have found it much easier to find guys in clubs and far less work.

Being in a club gives you a much broader range of people to talk to and engage with and work out if there's any chemistry, if not you can just move on as not everyone is going to appeal it's better for everyone all round.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

"Maybe add some pics of the male op,any woman considering meeting/chatting with you would want to see both people.

All female pics will get more single men messaging you with sexy type messages

I totally get that, my partner is not keen on having photos on here. He is more than happy to show himself once I've spoken to someone abit, I know this isnt ideal. X"

When trying to attract a woman you need to have the guy on show. For me I check the guy pics first .

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By *ubynaughty OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

I have convinced the other half to add a picture, all be it on friends only but I guess that's a start! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby X"

I agree. I feel a bit of a fraud but actually I’m more after connecting and I could be a very long play (but worry that this might be considered a “time waster”). For me all of this is about finding connections. Seeing what happens. But the site might not quite be suited to that

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Maybe if you can attend some group socials that would give you many more people to meet all at once so you might find someone who is a better fit, I think it's very hard to rely on Fab alone find the people that suits you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can always tell what people / men want from their initial message.. nice and polite .. have read profile etc.. goes a long way

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Always happy to chat to people while working behind the bar at AtlantisEvolution, no expectations at all.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I think it depends on what you want and how you view swinging.

We're more than happy to socialise and we've met some amazing friends on fab. Were also happy with just sexual meets too.

Maybe it's because we don't see it as adding a 3rd person to our relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be tricky sometimes. I have been told "this isn't a dating site" so many times because I like to get to know people and or have socials prior to arranging to play

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Other than in a club where it's usually a social in itself then I'd always prefer a social first.

Be prepared for a bit of a surprise though as I might look nothing like my pics on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably, but we are about. I often prefer socials and when meeting couples if they want a social and some flirting as a first meet then I’m happy to oblige

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby X"
i certainly don't need to jump into bed straight away and imagine their are many that dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby X"

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By *angOnBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

We certainly prefer a social first, obviously if we click that social becomes flirtatious and possibly touchy feely

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Socials are great fun. We end up playing with less than 25% of our socials but, that isn't necessarily the entire point

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

Ruby X"

Tbh it sounds like you are more considering poly than swinging. Have you thought of going to your local poly groups

Ms Icebreaker

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By *ubynaughty OP Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Ruby X

Tbh it sounds like you are more considering poly than swinging. Have you thought of going to your local poly groups

Ms Icebreaker "

I think maybe I worded it wrong! I was just meaning that ists a big thing to introduce a third party. We aren't looking for a poly relationship, just some regular fun with someone Xx

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

Ruby X

Tbh it sounds like you are more considering poly than swinging. Have you thought of going to your local poly groups

Ms Icebreaker

I think maybe I worded it wrong! I was just meaning that ists a big thing to introduce a third party. We aren't looking for a poly relationship, just some regular fun with someone Xx"

Fair enough

Then no, I have had amazing friendships, one night stands and 15 minute fucks from here - as well as meeting the incredible Mr Icebreaker on a swinging site. Its perfectly reasonable to want to have some form of emotional bond, it will take longer, but most worthwhile things do

Ms Icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruby X"
youre young all good things come to those who wait

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

If i cant see pics of the male half in the public pics i tend to just move along. It can also grate if asked to become friends to see them. I only become friends with people if there a chance of meeting up. Only know that if i can see them first lol

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your relationship, your rules but I think you need to sell it quite carefully to the third party. As a bi women who meets couples I’d be wary of anyone who seemed to be asking for an extended interview process, leaving me with a lot of time and effort invested only to get a ‘sorry, we don’t think you’re for us’ at the end of it. And I’d want to hear from the guy quite early on to be reassured that everyone had the same view.

Just a personal view from the other side of the equation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

P.S. I remember one couple who told me ‘We need to be friends first.’ I like a social AND sexual interaction, but no one can demand friendship off someone!

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