FabSwingers.com forum: Tips for women on Fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies, gentleman,

Navigating Fab can be really tricky and overwhelming for ladies. How about a thread of advice on how to go about messaging and what red flags to look out for?

Mine would be:

- There's the swingers and the fuckers. The latter are after quick meets and gratification. You can usually tell from their language. "We need to meet up" rather than "do you fancy meeting up?" even if you like quick meet and fuck, watch out for pushy language.

- If someone you're talking to get's annoyed when you get new verifications, remember it's a swinging site for liberated lovin' - you don't owe them an explanation of your sex life.

- No one should be making you feel guilty for not replying to messages or not wanting to chat. And if someone doesn't get the message don't feel bad about hitting the block button.

- There are the usual suspects who try and alpha new ladies really early on. Take some time to get to know people. If they don't want to chat, then there's usually something up (in my opinion).

I didn't set this thread up as a gripe. I'd really love to see positive, practical advice for ladies. What would you suggest?

C x x

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block button is your friend and you can use it for whatever reason you want without owing anyone an explanation.

This is meant to be fun and when it stops being fun step back and work out why.

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"The block button is your friend and you can use it for whatever reason you want without owing anyone an explanation.

This is meant to be fun and when it stops being fun step back and work out why.

This.

And I'm not even a woman.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Set your filters and be proactive x

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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago

London St Helier Trier

If a Swinger can say something?

1. Hide your profile when you want to reduce the flow of messages and interests.

2. Be selective with verifications whether to publish them and create links to other persons. Some people apparently follow the links and bad mouth you to them....

3. Do put a use this word in the message title at the end to see if someone has read your whole profile.

Good luck and enjoy. We Swingers appreciate the Ladies here. However we are lost in between the Fuckers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Set your filters and be proactive x"

Yes!

Also

don't engage with people who send you abuse report and block immediately

Never put yourself in a situation where you are dependent on a meet to get home, are over the drink drive limit or have no money on you.

Think before you do anything "if a loved one told me they were going to do this would I think it was a good idea?"

The above applies to everyone, not just women.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I agree with points 1 and but not 3.

It's easy enough to scan for a "buzz word" and it will be the message itself that shows whether or not they have read the profile.

Actually, my advice for single ladies looking for men, would be to batten down the hatches and search for yourself.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

https://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted

Read tips and getting started.

never get into a car with a man you don't know.

Never go to a mans house or give him your address if you don't know him.

Never agree to have sex if you don't want to.

All seem obvious but I've read some dreadfully naïve attitudes in these for a over the years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t have to justify yourself to others.

You have the right to be or do what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make it work for you. If the endless stream of idiot messages get to you, block men and go find profiles you like. If they’re super hot but dick you around, leave them to it. There’ll be plenty of hot guys who are willing to treat you decently. No one needs to engage in mind games on fab. Messaging is tedious. Get out and meet people in real life, build your networks, you don’t have to be a ‘lifestyle swinger’ to go to the occasional event, and make friends with other women. They tip you off to the idiots, watch your back and it’s nice to have like minded friends, even if, sadly, they are straight.

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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago

London St Helier Trier

"I agree with points 1 and but not 3.

It's easy enough to scan for a "buzz word" and it will be the message itself that shows whether or not they have read the profile.

Actually, my advice for single ladies looking for men, would be to batten down the hatches and search for yourself. "

Very fair comment on 3.

Cannot fault the above. Find for yourself. I have been found and it had been great till she in love and left Fab to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And never, ever, meet anyone who tries to persuade you out of taking your normal precautions. Even if they don’t want to hurt you, the lack of appreciation of your needs implies their approach to sex will be similar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a fair few single female friends on here.

They set their filters to what they're are looking for and a good thing they do is block single guys when not on line or hide their profiles. To cut down on the amount of unwanted traffic. I hear them say all the time it's frustrating as there might have been a potential meet in the hundreds of messages they receive.

Great subject OP I'm sure it will be a popular thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread thank you

Don’t be afraid to say no set boundaries early on if they don’t like them tough and move on to the next

There are some some lovely people on here who can become good friends you just need to find them

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Use the filters, the block button will become your best friend, be prepared to receive a lot of weird and seldom wonderful messages. Also expect your verifications to all be messaged by scary stalkers! Oh and good luck there are a few good men on here

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

All my tips are on my profile, feel free to read xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"And never, ever, meet anyone who tries to persuade you out of taking your normal precautions. Even if they don’t want to hurt you, the lack of appreciation of your needs implies their approach to sex will be similar."

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Tell men what’s what rather than hint and assume they will guess what you mean.

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By *erfumedpornovampireWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met men alone before but have always done that via our couples profile which seemed to give me a lot more control. I don’t envy single women profile looking for a one on one meet.. the messages are very very odd at times!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything "

Love this post.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything

Love this post."

I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If you're in any doubt at all, don't. For whatever reason. There are plenty more fish in the sea, it's not worth your sanity or your safety. That quiet night in is probably a blessing in disguise.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything

Love this post.

I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind. "

I say no because I say no. If pushed, then my no becomes never because quite clearly my correspondent doesn't understand consent.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything

Love this post.

I'm a firm believer in just saying no. The minute you try to explain why not, it gives people a way in to try and change your mind.

I say no because I say no. If pushed, then my no becomes never because quite clearly my correspondent doesn't understand consent."

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches

Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse

No means no

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Find what works for you. There is no perfect answer, or one size fits all.

You're allowed to think that some of your experience here sucks, because it can and it does!

If anyone tells you that you should be grateful or tries to dictate how you run your Fab profile, ignore them or tell them you've got it handled. If they persist, block them. It's your profile, and you can do what you like.

And no, it's not your fault that some people (#notallmen #notallcouples #notallTVs #notallpeople #haveIcoveredthewhiningyet) are horrible and try to make your experience horrible.

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By *ndefiniteSparkMan
over a year ago

ignites minds to unite ...

"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches

Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse

No means no

Smart this

Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.

I'm new here and appreciate advice given on posts like this and past ones in forum history but use them also not only to identify a problem but try to find a solution (a lot of issues are ongoing and that's the worst part).

What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.

Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches

Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse

No means no

Smart this

Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.

What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.

Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?

You are of course welcome to express your opinion, but those of us who've been around a long time have tried many things, more than likely what you've suggested.

It does occasionally get tiring to be told, oh, just do x and stop whinging. Yes, tried x, more than once, didn't work because y, and it's still not my fault that people treat me like abc in ways that are unacceptable. (Which is so often how these things go. I'm not saying you)

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 12/01/20 15:55:45]

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Avoid men called anything other than Sam,

No fab woman has ever had a bad experience with a "Sam"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you have a safety person and that you check in

Sometimes that also involves taking photos of where you are /the person /car etc...

Applies to everyone, regardless of gender

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By *assy_AttitudeWoman
over a year ago

RHYL

"No is a complete sentence, you don't have to explain your reasons for anything "

Love this.

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By *ndefiniteSparkMan
over a year ago

ignites minds to unite ...

"I've unticked all the "looking fors" it allows me to keep my message filters open but removes me from the majority of the searches

Always do your own searching. It really is easier than sifting through the numerous inbox messages and cuts out 95% of the abuse

No means no

Smart this

Each of us here has there own ways and it's great to see some shared as for example I wouldn't think if this.

What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.

Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?

You are of course welcome to express your opinion, but those of us who've been around a long time have tried many things, more than likely what you've suggested.

It's those like you who are here a long time I see giving up in some cases and leaving , why should people who help create this place feel bullied on their own playground.?

Not here to tell anyone what to do , far from it.

Understand the frustration of some of you to keep repeating the same even when someone asks the right questions.

Tbh I feel like that too when I see similar and think " there is a search button on the forum" use it , ffs you can use Google you can use that too

I have decided to play this game and respect the rules.

Will express my opinion when ready to challenge the rules I don't agree with .

I'm still at a learning and information collecting stage.

Have spend about two weeks just reading , still think it's not enough .

Not talking about challenging users on here.

Getting braver to post , jump in on the fun posts ,UK and Irish , met some nice people.

Plenty of nice and naughty people here

Miracle happened and got a message from a lady that I didn't even contact first.

Also got my first dick that I didn't ask for in the inbox .

Not hard to understand how some feel getting this 50x a day .

What people upload to the public profile folder it's their own choice , not for me discuss but as a user visiting a profile do I really have a choice what I want to see?

No , it's a surprise what you will find in there , unnecessary surprise easily fixed by people who run the site.

Pic folders could be split , one for "decent" pictures and one for anything else .

Each pic uploaded is verified and categorised by moderators .

Block "decent" folder with a filter not allowing upload of dick pics for example .

That's just an idea on how admins could improve it Vs what it is now.

Dick inboxing to someone could be stopped too as is the somewhat faulty verification process when registering a new profile.

That's for separate threads of my own when ready .

Sorry OP if you consider my post against the "Don't hijack threads " rule .

Not intended and next one's will be my own .

Just wanted to clarify and give an idea what I mean about fab improvement.

Fabbers don't fight , unite .

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

What if I told you some can be solved or at least limited with a bit of help.

Would anyone listen to what a newbie has to say ?

I'm still at a learning and information collecting stage.

Have spend about two weeks just reading , still think it's not enough .

Not talking about challenging users on here.

What people upload to the public profile folder it's their own choice , not for me discuss but as a user visiting a profile do I really have a choice what I want to see?

No , it's a surprise what you will find in there , unnecessary surprise easily fixed by people who run the site.

Pic folders could be split , one for "decent" pictures and one for anything else .

Each pic uploaded is verified and categorised by moderators .

Block "decent" folder with a filter not allowing upload of dick pics for example .

That's just an idea on how admins could improve it Vs what it is now.

The problem with this idea, is this is what you want. It's your idea of " decent".

Some people want to see dick pics in profiles. The profile is a showcase of what the person is all about. Perhaps the lad who has a profile photo of them parking about with a cap on sideways, another with a messy background and toilet next to them and 6 dick pics is ideal. It shows some ladies , that this person is not who they are looking for.

If you look at somebodies profile pics and you are not keen, you block them , or right a little note in the Private Note category and move along to the next one.

I often give advice on how to improve profiles, but we don't want them regulated , so that everyone's is standardised. As things stand , it's another useful filter .

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Make that * larking about with the cap on sideways / backwards.