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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something"

Yeah

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

Cheers

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Most guys have the same problem.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

I’m gathering that from what I read

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Unfortunately my messages up and disappeared like a fart in the wind

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something"
same things been happening with me for the near 10 years i've been on. Of the 100s of messages sent, a fraction have been read and an even smaller fraction responded to, and thsts usually to say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many men on here. Most aren’t even swingers. You have them to compete with.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

I’m the same I’ve been on and off for 5 years yet the only action I get is from clubs. Seems to me that all your hard work concocting messages to suit the profile of the recipient is wasted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest we just ignore anything coming from a guy on here. Just rely on clubs as you know they aren’t fantasists there.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

I love your pictures and profile by the way. So tell me if that’s the case what’s the best clubs for us sad old singletons

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk


"I’m the same I’ve been on and off for 5 years yet the only action I get is from clubs. Seems to me that all your hard work concocting messages to suit the profile of the recipient is wasted "

We favour clubs as it's far to much hassle for us to try and arrange something on here.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

Your obviously messaging the wrong people

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich


"I’m the same I’ve been on and off for 5 years yet the only action I get is from clubs. Seems to me that all your hard work concocting messages to suit the profile of the recipient is wasted "

You've probably just answered your own question OP. I wouldn't 'cocncoct' a message to suit the profile but only message people who suit what you're looking for

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

I don’t message everyone, funnily enough I’m not desperate yet and still have some taste!!! I only message profiles i like and compose my message to suit them too

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Without examples of people you've messaged, and what you put in your message, it is impossible to diagnose what the issue might be. But some generic advice:

Single guys massively outnumber women and couples, so to get a response you need to stand out, not just with your message but profile too.

It follows that you should proritise quality of message over quantity.

Make sure you have fully read the profile and understood what they are after, allude to that in your message.

To convince people that you are not a timewasting fantasist (of which there are vast numbers on here) get yourself verified, perhaps by going to a club, chatting to people.

Remember that most people on here have vanilla lives too and are not completely obsessed with sex ... So overtly sexual messages to start are not attractive, far better to say something normal about yourself.

Respect for what the profile wants is paramount ... If it says absolutely no single males, don't message them.

Never badger people if they don't respond, fab even gives you a warning, ignore this at your peril, it suggests you are pushy and that is really unattractive and not someone anyone would want to be intimate with.

Be interesting and articulate, we have found from experience that in general people who are boring with their messaging are usually even worse in real life!

Last, and most important, be prepared to play the long game. Cultivate people. Get involved on the forums. Take your time. Never be pushy.

Hope this helps and good luck.

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich


"I don’t message everyone, funnily enough I’m not desperate yet and still have some taste!!! I only message profiles i like and compose my message to suit them too "

It can be tricky on here but, as I always say, lots of guys are very successful on here so it's not impossible, maybe luck and timing come into it a little bit too

Hope you get catch a break soon

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

Thanks guys I do have verifications from when I was last online, it’s the making yourself stand out that perhaps leaves me short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick with clubs. This site shouldn’t be the only tool you use.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

Thank any suggestions at decent clubs only tried Abfabs and I’m hearing mixed reviews on how that is now? Also can I be invited to your birthday bash?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look around for clubs yourself. And no you can’t

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

No problem I thought I’d ask

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Thank any suggestions at decent clubs only tried Abfabs and I’m hearing mixed reviews on how that is now? Also can I be invited to your birthday bash? "

A perfect example of why people will ignore you. It is clear from their profile who they are hoping to invite to their birthday bash, yet you've ignored that and tried to invite yourself. This is pushy and hence very unattractive. Of course, you may have thought you were being funny, or ironic, or tongue in cheek ... Trouble is, with written messages there is no way to know that, so all you achieve is getting someone's back up.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds

It was written tongue in cheek but I suppose it’s like a text it can be misinterpreted I meant no offence

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds


"Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck "

I only search for ones that state they are looking for men if they’re not interested in single men I don’t bother messaging, even if the profile fits mine. For example I’ve just browsed your profile and although you’re very attractive I wouldn’t message because single guys is not on your preferences

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By *exy Black JenWoman
over a year ago

London/Eastbourne weekends


"Thank any suggestions at decent clubs only tried Abfabs and I’m hearing mixed reviews on how that is now? Also can I be invited to your birthday bash? "

Have you tried organised socials?

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds


"Thank any suggestions at decent clubs only tried Abfabs and I’m hearing mixed reviews on how that is now? Also can I be invited to your birthday bash?

Have you tried organised socials?"

no I haven’t to be honest but willing to try

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck I only search for ones that state they are looking for men if they’re not interested in single men I don’t bother messaging, even if the profile fits mine. For example I’ve just browsed your profile and although you’re very attractive I wouldn’t message because single guys is not on your preferences "

Thats a good start then but you failed on ours lol if you looked deeper at our profile and looked at our veris you will see we do occasionally but don’t tick the guy box to cut down on messages, this is what I say about taking note of people’s profiles. Thank you for the compliment, nice if you to say.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds


"Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck I only search for ones that state they are looking for men if they’re not interested in single men I don’t bother messaging, even if the profile fits mine. For example I’ve just browsed your profile and although you’re very attractive I wouldn’t message because single guys is not on your preferences

Thats a good start then but you failed on ours lol if you looked deeper at our profile and looked at our veris you will see we do occasionally but don’t tick the guy box to cut down on messages, this is what I say about taking note of people’s profiles. Thank you for the compliment, nice if you to say."

to be honest as soon as I look at the section that states preferences of it says not looking for single guys I don’t read past that, because I don’t want to come across as pushy and not only that the website doesn’t allow you to, no problem on the compliment you’re definitely a babe and you have a very lucky other half!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank any suggestions at decent clubs only tried Abfabs and I’m hearing mixed reviews on how that is now? Also can I be invited to your birthday bash?

A perfect example of why people will ignore you. It is clear from their profile who they are hoping to invite to their birthday bash, yet you've ignored that and tried to invite yourself. This is pushy and hence very unattractive. Of course, you may have thought you were being funny, or ironic, or tongue in cheek ... Trouble is, with written messages there is no way to know that, so all you achieve is getting someone's back up."

100% spot on.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck I only search for ones that state they are looking for men if they’re not interested in single men I don’t bother messaging, even if the profile fits mine. For example I’ve just browsed your profile and although you’re very attractive I wouldn’t message because single guys is not on your preferences

Thats a good start then but you failed on ours lol if you looked deeper at our profile and looked at our veris you will see we do occasionally but don’t tick the guy box to cut down on messages, this is what I say about taking note of people’s profiles. Thank you for the compliment, nice if you to say."

I couldn't resist checking you out and share OPs view of your attractiveness ... I did read that you enjoy the rare single guy, but we wouldn't contact you as you have maximum age 49 ... Plus you're bloody miles away lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sleazy comment to people on forums when they are just having a normal conversation doesn’t go down the best.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"Good you attach a face pic with your message and as you say you suit your message to the persons profile then all I can think of for not getting a reply from anybody is you are messaging people that are not looking to meet single guys or your simply not what their profile says they are looking for, have you looked at the people’s veris to see the type of people they like and what type of meets they have had? Also add a few more pics as the three you have wouldn’t really rock someone’s world enough to get a response, you need more pics with more imagination to them and make sure your first message packs some punch to get their attention.

We reply to everybody even if it’s a not for us thanks but not everybody can be bothered or have the time if a single girl they will be swamped, so make it good and if they like humour make it funny.

Good luck I only search for ones that state they are looking for men if they’re not interested in single men I don’t bother messaging, even if the profile fits mine. For example I’ve just browsed your profile and although you’re very attractive I wouldn’t message because single guys is not on your preferences

Thats a good start then but you failed on ours lol if you looked deeper at our profile and looked at our veris you will see we do occasionally but don’t tick the guy box to cut down on messages, this is what I say about taking note of people’s profiles. Thank you for the compliment, nice if you to say.

I couldn't resist checking you out and share OPs view of your attractiveness ... I did read that you enjoy the rare single guy, but we wouldn't contact you as you have maximum age 49 ... Plus you're bloody miles away lol xx "

Oh those blooming miles, there a pain sometimes aren’t they lol xx

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

[Removed by poster at 06/01/20 10:59:18]

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Can you give an example of messages you send? We get guys contacting us who probably think they are saying something interesting to us but their messages are just awful. Don't be one of them. I suggest you post some examples of what you send.

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something"

Where's the chocolate?

Seriously your user name has me heading towards the kitchen for chocolate

Sorry what was the Question?

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By *ikemilfloverMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I don’t think my profile is too bad and I do have verifications from couples I have met, but it is becoming annoying when you write a decent length message (not one liners) to couples and you don’t even get a reply.

Hopefully I will get some decent responses soon, well I live in hope anyway lol

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Can you give an example of messages you send? We get guys contacting us who probably think they are saying something interesting to us but their messages are just awful. Don't be one of them. I suggest you post some examples of what you send.

"

An excellent suggestion. We like to be supportive and give constructive feedback, and this will make the advice more targeted and hopefully more useful.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"I don’t think my profile is too bad and I do have verifications from couples I have met, but it is becoming annoying when you write a decent length message (not one liners) to couples and you don’t even get a reply.

Hopefully I will get some decent responses soon, well I live in hope anyway lol"

Maybe we are unusual (or perhaps it's because we're not that popular on here lol) but we reply to all polite, respectful messages providing there is some interest or substance to them, and it is obvious that the sender has read our profile properly. We understand the efforts that you must go to, and the frustration of being consistently ignored, which is why we do this. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t message everyone, funnily enough I’m not desperate yet and still have some taste!!! I only message profiles i like and compose my message to suit them too "

Possibly you are being far too selective who you approach. If you only message the youngest and most glamorous types then you might well find yourself being regularly ignored.

That type can pick and choose who they meet with impunity, and you may find you don't fit into their choices. Your profile after all doesn't say or show much about you.

Try lowering your sights a little perhaps.

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By *ikemilfloverMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I don’t think my profile is too bad and I do have verifications from couples I have met, but it is becoming annoying when you write a decent length message (not one liners) to couples and you don’t even get a reply.

Hopefully I will get some decent responses soon, well I live in hope anyway lol

Maybe we are unusual (or perhaps it's because we're not that popular on here lol) but we reply to all polite, respectful messages providing there is some interest or substance to them, and it is obvious that the sender has read our profile properly. We understand the efforts that you must go to, and the frustration of being consistently ignored, which is why we do this. Good luck!"

Thank you, at least I know there are some good guys (and girls) out there !

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Most guys have the same problem. "

Totally!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Too many men on here. Most aren’t even swingers. You have them to compete with. "

Yep. Even those with staying power realise we're not exactly thin on the ground and have to compete with both the numbers game and the Adonis's.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I’m the same I’ve been on and off for 5 years yet the only action I get is from clubs. Seems to me that all your hard work concocting messages to suit the profile of the recipient is wasted "

99.9% agreed! Effort to results is irrelevant. Being seen at clubs and socials is far more likely to make a difference.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Without examples of people you've messaged, and what you put in your message, it is impossible to diagnose what the issue might be. But some generic advice:

Single guys massively outnumber women and couples, so to get a response you need to stand out, not just with your message but profile too.

It follows that you should proritise quality of message over quantity.

Make sure you have fully read the profile and understood what they are after, allude to that in your message.

To convince people that you are not a timewasting fantasist (of which there are vast numbers on here) get yourself verified, perhaps by going to a club, chatting to people.

Remember that most people on here have vanilla lives too and are not completely obsessed with sex ... So overtly sexual messages to start are not attractive, far better to say something normal about yourself.

Respect for what the profile wants is paramount ... If it says absolutely no single males, don't message them.

Never badger people if they don't respond, fab even gives you a warning, ignore this at your peril, it suggests you are pushy and that is really unattractive and not someone anyone would want to be intimate with.

Be interesting and articulate, we have found from experience that in general people who are boring with their messaging are usually even worse in real life!

Last, and most important, be prepared to play the long game. Cultivate people. Get involved on the forums. Take your time. Never be pushy.

Hope this helps and good luck."

This is some of the best advice I've read - these things do make a difference! I've started involving myself on the forums lately and it's had an unexpectedly positive (and very nice) result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something"

Yes- no chocolate, no meet . And in all seriousness, you're part of the least sought after group on Fab, single guys. Your profile really has to stand out not to be lost in thousands of other profiles looking for exactly the same.

Try organised socials and/or clubs, where your personality can shine, rather than relying on Fab only.

Good luck.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something

Where's the chocolate?

Seriously your user name has me heading towards the kitchen for chocolate

Sorry what was the Question? "

i take it you disappeared for a sneaky square of dairy milk

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

You may well not be doing anything wrong OP. As single guys we're ten a penny on here and those we seek have a huge amount of choice/options. Try not to get too frustrated as it can come across as bitter very easily. In many ways you can't win, so have to accept that or walk away. As an example there was a thread appertaining to positive comments about others last night. I made several about various women, but felt I was invisible as everyone else appeared to just be speaking to each other to the exclusion of 'outsiders'. While this may have been so I doubt anyone meant me any Ill, or was deliberately thinking 'Let's all ignore him', but just kept within their established group. That could have been quite upsetting if I had decided I was being deliberately excluded, but the truth is I was clearly invisible to the majority - nothing more, nothing less. If you feel frustrated (and we all can at times) go offline, then come back on when you feel a bit more positive, as if you vent those frustrations on here some will pick up on it and decide you could be a ranty, moaning, or even entitled type. You may be no such thing, but the written word is easy to misinterpret. Try to keep things in perspective, be classy and stay true to yourself. If you can do that people might just get used to you being around and give you a chance on occasion. We're by far the most numerous group on Fab and the least sought after,so it can be lean at times. Keep the faith.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t be reliant on here. You’ll always be better off going down the pub and meeting people. Check in a couple of times a week and if you get something great, if not rely on the real world.

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By *illywonka76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glos/Wales/West Midlajds


"Don’t be reliant on here. You’ll always be better off going down the pub and meeting people. Check in a couple of times a week and if you get something great, if not rely on the real world. "
sounds like a sensible suggestion

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt


"Why the bloody hell can’t I get anyone to respond to my messages!!! I try lots of different approaches and attach a clear face pic with each and nothing!!! Are fabbers trying to tell me something"

Dont message newbies... They will be swamped

If they post new pictures and they have been fabbed really loads... Their mail box would be swamped.

Look for 'special words' left for you to show that you have read their profile.

Make sure that you address and refer to them both.

Re-read their profile and verifications and write your message so that it is to them and not a generic message that could have been sent to anybody.

Have a look at 'Whoes near by' to see that you have real competition... Men outnumber couples and ladies. It wont help with replies, but will give you a sense of realism. Think about the male profiles that appear to get lucky and see if you are underselling yourself.

Think long and hard about your message subject. Think of it as a Newspaper headline... You want your article read.

If your message appears to be unread - you could be on a short list... I.e its been read and marked unread to go back to or to be considered by a partner

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