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"Does anyone struggle with achieving an orgasm? As in it happens just takes a decent while. Ive watched other women in real life at clubs etc and they just seem to cum in minutes. Is there a ‘normal time’ to orgasm in? Does it lead to faking or guilt over the time it takes to orgasm? I’d love to hear others opinion and feelings. " Sometimes faking it till you make it helps. Being relaxed. Knowing your own body, trying new things. Reading mr grey or what ever that book is. women get more stimulated by what they hear and think. I’d say being comfortable and relaxed is essential. Try the women viagra | |||
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"Its a pretty reasonable known fact throught multiple studies that around 80% of woman are unable to orgasm from penetration alone and that it also takes an average of 15-20mins for a woman to reach an orsgasm from external stimulation. Alot of it is down to how the female mind works. Alot of woman are unable to "let go" due to the need to be in control constantly. They therefore struggle to achieve their full potential. " More chance with another woman than with a man, as well. That might be about feeling safer to let go, but might just be better technique and patience from the women. The stats are a bit depressing for straight (and bisexual) women https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/heterosexual-women-orgasm-sex-less-other-demographics-lgbt-lesbian-gay-study-chapman-indiana-a7595181.html%3famp | |||
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"Its a pretty reasonable known fact throught multiple studies that around 80% of woman are unable to orgasm from penetration alone and that it also takes an average of 15-20mins for a woman to reach an orsgasm from external stimulation. Alot of it is down to how the female mind works. Alot of woman are unable to "let go" due to the need to be in control constantly. They therefore struggle to achieve their full potential. More chance with another woman than with a man, as well. That might be about feeling safer to let go, but might just be better technique and patience from the women. The stats are a bit depressing for straight (and bisexual) women https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/heterosexual-women-orgasm-sex-less-other-demographics-lgbt-lesbian-gay-study-chapman-indiana-a7595181.html%3famp" Yup. Stats are properly depressing. But you have to think about the world modern woman live in. Constant barrage or need to look that way and this way. Men constantly treating woman like prey in a pack of wolves... Let alone the whole sexualization of a womans bodies And the frowning upon masterbation and being sexually confident. Oh no. Woman should be seen and not heard and produce childern when required!!!! Most woman are so wound up that they can't ever truely release there inner orgasm....... | |||
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"I take ages with a partner or by myself. I never fake it though, I either cum or I don't. Orgasm isn't the be all and end all for me though. I like to enjoy the experience. Gem" ... and if you don’t you get to try again x | |||
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"There is no “normal” and everyone is different. There’s a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski that I highly recommend to you OP and anyone else interested in orgasms (particularly for vulvas). I hate the word foreplay, it makes it seem like every other sex act is working up to the main event of penetration which is such a small part of the wonderful world of sex, magnified only because of its power to reproduce rather than focusing on pleasure. Do what feels good and try not to chase orgasms and you’ll have far better sex than putting unwanted pressure on particular acts or milestones. " This Penetration is fine but rare I'll cum from it and certainly never in isolation. Its never the main event for me. It feels good to include it but never the thing that's going to get me off. | |||
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"There is no “normal” and everyone is different. There’s a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski that I highly recommend to you OP and anyone else interested in orgasms (particularly for vulvas). I hate the word foreplay, it makes it seem like every other sex act is working up to the main event of penetration which is such a small part of the wonderful world of sex, magnified only because of its power to reproduce rather than focusing on pleasure. Do what feels good and try not to chase orgasms and you’ll have far better sex than putting unwanted pressure on particular acts or milestones. " Completely agree about 'foreplay'. | |||
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"I am so lucky in that I orgasm really easily, and over and over again. I am very highly sexed though. " Same for me | |||
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"She can take quite a while, and depends on being relaxed and able to get her head into the right place. I bought her several different toys, and the best has been the womanizer, which has a slight sucking action. Combine that with me inside her and it can be very powerful. She couldn’t do multiples of something that intense, not within a short time anyway. Ironically, on her own she can sometimes manage in a couple of minutes! (Maybe it’s me!) " The womanizer is fantastic, maybe a bit too intense at times though. The we-vibe is awesome for couples play. Don't take long for either of us to cum | |||
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"She can take quite a while, and depends on being relaxed and able to get her head into the right place. I bought her several different toys, and the best has been the womanizer, which has a slight sucking action. Combine that with me inside her and it can be very powerful. She couldn’t do multiples of something that intense, not within a short time anyway. Ironically, on her own she can sometimes manage in a couple of minutes! (Maybe it’s me!) The womanizer is fantastic, maybe a bit too intense at times though. The we-vibe is awesome for couples play. Don't take long for either of us to cum" Another bit of fun is if I use the strap on - which is bigger than me! | |||
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"I am so lucky in that I orgasm really easily, and over and over again. I am very highly sexed though. Same for me " Curious as to how you define “highly sexed” what do you mean when you say that? | |||
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"There is no “normal” and everyone is different. There’s a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski that I highly recommend to you OP and anyone else interested in orgasms (particularly for vulvas). I hate the word foreplay, it makes it seem like every other sex act is working up to the main event of penetration which is such a small part of the wonderful world of sex, magnified only because of its power to reproduce rather than focusing on pleasure. Do what feels good and try not to chase orgasms and you’ll have far better sex than putting unwanted pressure on particular acts or milestones. " This is fantastic advice. There's also a very useful website called OMGyes! that helps you truly explore your vulva and vagina - it really helped me to try different techniques of masturbating and feeling more comfortable in expressing what it is that I like. Orgasms aren't the be all and end all of sex for me - sometimes they happen quickly and other times they take a bit longer. Being truly relaxed with another and having honest communication about what does and doesn't work for me goes a long way towards helping. | |||
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"Does anyone struggle with achieving an orgasm? As in it happens just takes a decent while. Ive watched other women in real life at clubs etc and they just seem to cum in minutes. Is there a ‘normal time’ to orgasm in? Does it lead to faking or guilt over the time it takes to orgasm? You need to be relaxed and in clubs with others around you sometimes it’s not that easy, I must say I love having other couples or singles watching me as I fuck, but with experience also most woman orgasm though oral sex than having full sex and like others has said some fake there orgasms too. I’d love to hear others opinion and feelings. " | |||
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"There is no “normal” and everyone is different. There’s a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski that I highly recommend to you OP and anyone else interested in orgasms (particularly for vulvas). I hate the word foreplay, it makes it seem like every other sex act is working up to the main event of penetration which is such a small part of the wonderful world of sex, magnified only because of its power to reproduce rather than focusing on pleasure. Do what feels good and try not to chase orgasms and you’ll have far better sex than putting unwanted pressure on particular acts or milestones. This is fantastic advice. There's also a very useful website called OMGyes! that helps you truly explore your vulva and vagina - it really helped me to try different techniques of masturbating and feeling more comfortable in expressing what it is that I like. Orgasms aren't the be all and end all of sex for me - sometimes they happen quickly and other times they take a bit longer. Being truly relaxed with another and having honest communication about what does and doesn't work for me goes a long way towards helping. " | |||
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"Do u girls have different levels of climax? Like I always have mini-cums during sex, but it takes a lot 4 me 2 have nething bigger. I may have the big cum or orgasm (very rarely), and squirting (which seems a lot easier than in shud b) ... " Yes .. lots of different kinds. And Constantly changing throughout life. It's great! Never boring! | |||
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"I’m a mental orgasmer (I know!not a word) I go to clubs and rarely orgasm EVER I never fake However I can talk to someone or chat on here and get really turned on and I take that and i play it over in my mind THAT makes me cum x" I can totally relate to the mental orgasmer, I get more turned on making lou cum and when I cum myself as the physical act to me feels more of a relief that a climax Ray | |||
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"I’m a mental orgasmer (I know!not a word) I go to clubs and rarely orgasm EVER I never fake However I can talk to someone or chat on here and get really turned on and I take that and i play it over in my mind THAT makes me cum x I can totally relate to the mental orgasmer, I get more turned on making lou cum and when I cum myself as the physical act to me feels more of a relief that a climax Ray" Yes! An orgasm to me isn’t really important , I’m a prolific edger and can go ages without one but still feel like iv had sexual encounters . I’m very sapiosexual x | |||
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"Does anyone struggle with achieving an orgasm? As in it happens just takes a decent while. Ive watched other women in real life at clubs etc and they just seem to cum in minutes. Is there a ‘normal time’ to orgasm in? Like most are saying it depends on the guy n how relaxed you are.. I've had a guy make me orgasam through oral in under 2 minutes others it can take forever or just not happen.. Through sex I almost always orgasam. And repeatedly too with a regular playmate. I'm also a squirter just wish some guys wouldn't see that as a goal to aim for.. Lol.. But once I'm relaxed n start I repeat.... Does it lead to faking or guilt over the time it takes to orgasm? I’d love to hear others opinion and feelings. " | |||
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"Do u girls have different levels of climax? Like I always have mini-cums during sex, but it takes a lot 4 me 2 have nething bigger. I may have the big cum or orgasm (very rarely), and squirting (which seems a lot easier than in shud b) ... " On a good day, she gets to a high plateau of excitement where the experience is incredibly intense such that she doesn’t want to finish. This can go on for several minutes before the finale. | |||
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"I’m a mental orgasmer (I know!not a word) I go to clubs and rarely orgasm EVER I never fake However I can talk to someone or chat on here and get really turned on and I take that and i play it over in my mind THAT makes me cum x I can totally relate to the mental orgasmer, I get more turned on making lou cum and when I cum myself as the physical act to me feels more of a relief that a climax Ray Yes! An orgasm to me isn’t really important , I’m a prolific edger and can go ages without one but still feel like iv had sexual encounters . I’m very sapiosexual x" I'm demisexual never been able to climax with anyone I didn't have a bond with | |||
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"This is such a great thread, and what a relief to read. I find it hard to cum, and usually have to do it myself. As others have said, it’s not my body, it’s me head that blocks it. It’s nothing to do with being highly sexed, or who you’re with, or how great the sex is . Thanks for the tips, I’m going to check them out " That's an interesting perspective. For me, it definitely depends on who I am with - how aroused I am, for a start, but also new partner (more nervous, can't let go as easily), whether they are trying to arouse me or just a bit shit and self-focussed (they don't get another go), even whether they are clumsy or too rough or unconfident. All makes a difference to me. Plus ...if they are dextrous with long fingers and good tongue technique - then that's the path to strong multiple orgasms for me. It's handy I suppose if you are less reliant on good technique or a connection to a partner. (I think it works that way for a lot of men) | |||
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"This is such a great thread, and what a relief to read. I find it hard to cum, and usually have to do it myself. As others have said, it’s not my body, it’s me head that blocks it. It’s nothing to do with being highly sexed, or who you’re with, or how great the sex is . Thanks for the tips, I’m going to check them out That's an interesting perspective. For me, it definitely depends on who I am with - how aroused I am, for a start, but also new partner (more nervous, can't let go as easily), whether they are trying to arouse me or just a bit shit and self-focussed (they don't get another go), even whether they are clumsy or too rough or unconfident. All makes a difference to me. Plus ...if they are dextrous with long fingers and good tongue technique - then that's the path to strong multiple orgasms for me. It's handy I suppose if you are less reliant on good technique or a connection to a partner. (I think it works that way for a lot of men)" With my fwb, he really knows what he’s doing, we have a great connection, he really turns me on and the sex is awesome. It’s definitely in my head as I’ve had some negative experiences and that affects me. | |||
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"Off topic slightly... Another thing I find is that I can be really turned on in my head but my pussy is dry and other times I don't feel particularly turned on mentally but I am dripping wet... Does anyone else get this disconnect?" Yep! Lube is my friend at times like those. Your vaginal lubrication can be affected by so many factors and it doesn't always signify that you're not turned on. I've felt really embarrassed before because I wasn't as wet as probably expected but really, no shame in it. | |||
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"I’m a mental orgasmer (I know!not a word) I go to clubs and rarely orgasm EVER I never fake However I can talk to someone or chat on here and get really turned on and I take that and i play it over in my mind THAT makes me cum x I can totally relate to the mental orgasmer, I get more turned on making lou cum and when I cum myself as the physical act to me feels more of a relief that a climax Ray Yes! An orgasm to me isn’t really important , I’m a prolific edger and can go ages without one but still feel like iv had sexual encounters . I’m very sapiosexual x I'm demisexual never been able to climax with anyone I didn't have a bond with " Runs off to google | |||
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"Off topic slightly... Another thing I find is that I can be really turned on in my head but my pussy is dry and other times I don't feel particularly turned on mentally but I am dripping wet... Does anyone else get this disconnect? Yep! Lube is my friend at times like those. Your vaginal lubrication can be affected by so many factors and it doesn't always signify that you're not turned on. I've felt really embarrassed before because I wasn't as wet as probably expected but really, no shame in it. " Pleased to hear I'm not the only one . I find concentrating on pleasuring the other person/s usually does it for me both mentally and physically. | |||
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"I’m a mental orgasmer (I know!not a word) I go to clubs and rarely orgasm EVER I never fake However I can talk to someone or chat on here and get really turned on and I take that and i play it over in my mind THAT makes me cum x I can totally relate to the mental orgasmer, I get more turned on making lou cum and when I cum myself as the physical act to me feels more of a relief that a climax Ray Yes! An orgasm to me isn’t really important , I’m a prolific edger and can go ages without one but still feel like iv had sexual encounters . I’m very sapiosexual x I'm demisexual never been able to climax with anyone I didn't have a bond with Runs off to google " I thought I was the only one who did this lol | |||
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"Also for me, having an orgasm isn’t the best part of sex (though it’s pretty fucking good) I was with someone for a couple of year and I would say he was pretty much my best sex ever but I don’t know if he alone ever made me cum. And some guys who I really had no interest in have made me cum. Depends on how you’re feeling, how relaxed, technique... too many things to count. Even with my husband sometimes I’ll cum so quick but then other times I’ve got too much on my mind and it’s just not gonna happen. Doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself. And I love getting fucked properly hard but it never makes me cum, it’s a different feeling " | |||
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"Off topic slightly... Another thing I find is that I can be really turned on in my head but my pussy is dry and other times I don't feel particularly turned on mentally but I am dripping wet... Does anyone else get this disconnect?" . | |||
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"Do u girls have different levels of climax? Like I always have mini-cums during sex, but it takes a lot 4 me 2 have nething bigger. I may have the big cum or orgasm (very rarely), and squirting (which seems a lot easier than in shud b) ... " Exactly this x | |||
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"1. Sex drive has nothing to do with ability to orgasm. I am highly sexed yet do not always have to orgasm every day...if I did I would get nothing done as a real true full orgasm totally wipes me out... I am like a man, I fall asleep and am good for nothing for a while after 2. I have “degrees” of orgasm...I can have many mini orgasms where my pussy will twitch and spasm if my clitoris is touched at the right ( or maybe wrong time) to the point that he can be mid stroke and if he or I touch my clit, the spasm can actually push him out ....I prefer this type of orgasm when playing a lot of the time as if I have full blown orgasm my clit becomes super sensitive ( like some guys where the end of the penis becomes too sensitive) and as per above a full blown orgasm that last for minutes means I become comatose 3. Yes women do fake it a lot of the time...." What a great answer! You could be describing me. V | |||
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"Off topic slightly... Another thing I find is that I can be really turned on in my head but my pussy is dry and other times I don't feel particularly turned on mentally but I am dripping wet... Does anyone else get this disconnect?" Something I've noticed just recently. | |||
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"This has been my favouite fab thread to date, such open and honedt sharing. I love it. This might appeal to some of you. There's an online erotic challenge in orgasm coaching/ exploring January 19- 23rd. Totalfreedomofpleasure.com. It was recommended by a friend of mine, so I'm going to check it out. Have a look and see if it resonates." We need to have a look ! We do love to play the game of O | |||
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"This has been my favouite fab thread to date, such open and honedt sharing. I love it. This might appeal to some of you. There's an online erotic challenge in orgasm coaching/ exploring January 19- 23rd. Totalfreedomofpleasure.com. It was recommended by a friend of mine, so I'm going to check it out. Have a look and see if it resonates." Definitely checking this out thanks x | |||
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"Some antidepressants will make orgasm much harder to reach " Yes x | |||
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"There is no “normal” and everyone is different. There’s a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski that I highly recommend to you OP and anyone else interested in orgasms (particularly for vulvas). I hate the word foreplay, it makes it seem like every other sex act is working up to the main event of penetration which is such a small part of the wonderful world of sex, magnified only because of its power to reproduce rather than focusing on pleasure. Do what feels good and try not to chase orgasms and you’ll have far better sex than putting unwanted pressure on particular acts or milestones. " It's a great book. Very insightful. | |||
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