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Advice please

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello all, anyone who has read previous posts will know I have a huge fantasy around my mrs fucking someone else but not been able to commit 100% to it, this is something we have both gone back and forth on but becoming more open.

We had some time away this week and the subject came up where she has said instead of finding a total stranger online or in a club (have been before not against going again) she would perhaps like is both to speak to like minded people. By this I mean people who know we are in a couple and having these thoughts/feelings but not sure if or how to proceed and would be willing to go at our pace. Between us we came up with 3 ideas I’m hoping you great people may be able to expand on or offer alternative suggestions:

1) Do swinging clubs offer nights where people can sit and talk etc with no expectations? We have visited the attic on a Saturday before and it seemed a bit to loud/busy for this kind of convo.

2) Would a couples profile defining our situation as above work on a site like this?

3) Following on from above are there any suitable apps? I have come across one called OpenCouple which may offer something along the lines of where we wish to start, has anyone used or is currently using this? Or able to suggest anything else.

Open to all feedback, ideas and suggestions.

Thanks in advance

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just going to bump this in hope of some feedback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging clubs are like anything in life no expectations

Go chat walk about enjoy. And yes a couples profile would help

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

[Removed by poster at 04/01/20 10:12:49]

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

purple mamba have lifestyle workshops. Their newbie couples workshop is on 12th Jan.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks think we ma try a club again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks will have a look into one of these nights

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What's stopping you setting up a couples profile such as you describe?

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Set up a couples profile on here and get chatting. Make it clear what your looking for. You could go to a social and meet a few people.

Just keep it at a pace your comfortable with and set age filters or you’ll be inundated with messages.

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By *y93Man
over a year ago

London

Yes I think your starting point would be a Couple profile, otherwise, people might think you are faking the couple thing, or that you are just a fantasist and not for real. good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge"

U can still set a profile up no pics or keep them friends only

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge"

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?"

I get what you are saying there think my profile is anonymous enough that a couples profile could ve the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

U can still set a profile up no pics or keep them friends only "

Great idea thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?

I get what you are saying there think my profile is anonymous enough that a couples profile could ve the same"

Indeed.

I have to ask without being argumentative. Is your partner 100% on board with this? I only ask that because you both seem to be reluctant to take the first step. That's not a criticism and caution is wise but genuinely what is stopping you from testing the water?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?

I get what you are saying there think my profile is anonymous enough that a couples profile could ve the same

Indeed.

I have to ask without being argumentative. Is your partner 100% on board with this? I only ask that because you both seem to be reluctant to take the first step. That's not a criticism and caution is wise but genuinely what is stopping you from testing the water?"

100% would be an exaggeration for both of us. She has often fantasised about this kind of scenario and openly admits its a turn on. However for want of a better word she has had a very “traditional” upbringing has only been with me and one other and perhaps struggles to seperate love and sex. Lately has been her opening the conversation more and this post has come directly from questions she asked me. The main thing for us would be finding the right person with the understanding we require

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I think the first step would be to have a couples profile so you can do some searching and get to know people together. Good luck to you both. Xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?

I get what you are saying there think my profile is anonymous enough that a couples profile could ve the same

Indeed.

I have to ask without being argumentative. Is your partner 100% on board with this? I only ask that because you both seem to be reluctant to take the first step. That's not a criticism and caution is wise but genuinely what is stopping you from testing the water?

100% would be an exaggeration for both of us. She has often fantasised about this kind of scenario and openly admits its a turn on. However for want of a better word she has had a very “traditional” upbringing has only been with me and one other and perhaps struggles to seperate love and sex. Lately has been her opening the conversation more and this post has come directly from questions she asked me. The main thing for us would be finding the right person with the understanding we require"

So how does she feel about the answers you've received here?

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Hello all, anyone who has read previous posts will know I have a huge fantasy around my mrs fucking someone else but not been able to commit 100% to it, this is something we have both gone back and forth on but becoming more open.

We had some time away this week and the subject came up where she has said instead of finding a total stranger online or in a club (have been before not against going again) she would perhaps like is both to speak to like minded people. By this I mean people who know we are in a couple and having these thoughts/feelings but not sure if or how to proceed and would be willing to go at our pace. Between us we came up with 3 ideas I’m hoping you great people may be able to expand on or offer alternative suggestions:

1) Do swinging clubs offer nights where people can sit and talk etc with no expectations? We have visited the attic on a Saturday before and it seemed a bit to loud/busy for this kind of convo.

2) Would a couples profile defining our situation as above work on a site like this?

3) Following on from above are there any suitable apps? I have come across one called OpenCouple which may offer something along the lines of where we wish to start, has anyone used or is currently using this? Or able to suggest anything else.

Open to all feedback, ideas and suggestions.

Thanks in advance"

Firstly I would say that any club night there are no expectations. Sure people want to meet, but we are more than happy to chat to others for a time without pushing to find a room.

Socials would also be an idea, never had time ourselves but my understanding is they are for chatting with like minded people.

A couples profile would be a must on here and you can show as little or as much as you like. Also you don't have to set your posts code as your hometown. Set it somewhere else if you are concerned about others local to you discovering your secret.

We started off very slow, voyeurs at first, then just having sex in the same room as others, moving on to soft swinging with no kissing. It was years before we went to full swap and even the occasional ladies night out alone.

But it was slow with different people, due to our infrequent nature we could not set up regular fun but there were always lots of people who were at similar stages of testing the waters or happy to go at our pace and our limits.

The most important thing is to keep communicating and try to have fun even if it's just the two of you in bed, watching or thinking about others joining you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks to the last 3 posters. Honest answer we are concerned about people we know seeing us wether thats a common concern in this lifestyle or not i dont know but think we will take the plunge

But not concerned about people you know seeing your single profil?

I get what you are saying there think my profile is anonymous enough that a couples profile could ve the same

Indeed.

I have to ask without being argumentative. Is your partner 100% on board with this? I only ask that because you both seem to be reluctant to take the first step. That's not a criticism and caution is wise but genuinely what is stopping you from testing the water?

100% would be an exaggeration for both of us. She has often fantasised about this kind of scenario and openly admits its a turn on. However for want of a better word she has had a very “traditional” upbringing has only been with me and one other and perhaps struggles to seperate love and sex. Lately has been her opening the conversation more and this post has come directly from questions she asked me. The main thing for us would be finding the right person with the understanding we require

So how does she feel about the answers you've received here?"

Think we will do a joint profile on here and opencouple then see how it goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real swingers will always chat and help you, they will never be pushy or have expectations.

Maybe find a a few couples to chat with , and clubs are great. If you want a chat my couples profile is pretty in kink, feel free to message xx

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