FabSwingers.com forum: How to let people know in interested

By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I attend clubs whenever I can and chat to lots of people.

I have no idea so how to let anybody know I'm interested in more than a chat, I would hate to come across as at all pushy or make anybody feel uncomfortable.

Usually I'm more than happy just to go along and socialise and see how tonight goes as it is rare that I find people I'm attracted to, but when I do, I feel I may miss opportunities to put it out there and just see if maybe they could be potentially interested.

What is a subtle way that does not make anybody feel uncomfortable for me to say I could potentially be happy to take things further with a gent, lady or couple?

I would still like people to feel happy chatting to me afterwards if they were not keen, I just wouldn't want to make anything awkward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the same problem as the OP

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

You could always try being suggestive in an innuendo sort of way ... that way they could take the hint but if they not keen then it’s not awkward ..

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"You could always try being suggestive in an innuendo sort of way ... that way they could take the hint but if they not keen then it’s not awkward .. "

Can you think of an example?

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

Would be interested to no too

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no.

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

"You could always try being suggestive in an innuendo sort of way ... that way they could take the hint but if they not keen then it’s not awkward ..

Can you think of an example? "

Get your coat .. you pulled

In all seriousness not really

very much depends on who when where etc. At the end of the day you generally are at parties clubs etc for similar reasons .. if you just say would you like to go somewhere a little quieter or more private...

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no. "

Think this is what i was trying to say

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no.

Think this is what i was trying to say

Although don't be the person I've encountered many times "hi I'm x you're hot fancy a fuck?" swing and miss

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

What about a question like "what are you looking for?", does that help open the door if somebody asks you that, do you feel that shows interest or is that just general conversation?

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Fan your face and say "I'm feeling very hot"

is that cheesy?!

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

It's good to know a beautiful woman like you OP has the same difficulty as us single guys, just be honest and flattering and I'm sure they will make the first moves on you, or just put yourself in their position and ask yourself how you would like it... good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them if it's ok to whisper something to them

Then lean in

And tell them that your heart it's racing with a sorts of naughty thoughts about them

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

"It's good to know a beautiful woman like you OP has the same difficulty as us single guys, just be honest and flattering and I'm sure they will make the first moves on you, or just put yourself in their position and ask yourself how you would like it... good luck x"

Second this sentiment exactly

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

I'm with you on that one. And I am almost totally blind to even the least subtle signals.

"What sort of woman do you like? A woman like me?" (wink, seductive wiggle). Even I might get that one. On a confident night.

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive.

I'm with you on that one. And I am almost totally blind to even the least subtle signals.

"What sort of woman do you like? A woman like me?" (wink, seductive wiggle). Even I might get that one. On a confident night."

If they don't that could make them feel really awkward.

(plus I probably would stutter trying to say it!!! )

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

"Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

“Come with me ... you pulled big boy”

I think your putting too much pressure on yourself to provide a fantastically funny or witty single line . I tend to play the fool quite a lot so generally fumble that sort of thing anyway ??..

But then again i would probably use that as a line

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You're putting too much pressure on yourself. I like you, fancy finding a room at some stage?

If you do that after making them comfortable with regular conversation you'll be fine.

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Thank you, I'm taking all of this on board

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By *rtyPartyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay area

As others have said asking people what they're there for can be a great opener. "To get fucked by men like your husband" was a particularly memorable answer...

When it comes to 'the question' we prefer something along the lines of "I / we are thinking of heading somewhere more private. Maybe you would like to join us."

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As others have said asking people what they're there for can be a great opener. "To get fucked by men like your husband" was a particularly memorable answer...

When it comes to 'the question' we prefer something along the lines of "I / we are thinking of heading somewhere more private. Maybe you would like to join us." "

Yes, that's good.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"If they don't that could make them feel really awkward"

They're not going to feel awkward. If they do, it'll only be a little bit, and slight discomfort now and then is something we just deal with.

I was imagining a pause after the first question, to allow them to say what they like in a woman. If they have any sense (always my great failing) they will describe you. Then you know your advances have a good chance.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no. "

We’ve done “Do you fancy a wander around the rooms?” Pretty similar & a bit less direct I guess..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

I think that would be a really good way to go, it's direct enough that the other person obviously knows you're interested but doesn't come across as pushy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself. I like you, fancy finding a room at some stage?

If you do that after making them comfortable with regular conversation you'll be fine. "

Supporting the ‘Do you fancy finding a room?’ suggestion. It’s direct but low-key. Anything else can risk being cheesy or not understood. And it’s easy enough to politely refuse with ‘Oh we wanted to look round a bit more first’ or similar.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I usually say that I am going for a wander upstairs to see what's going on. Then ask if they want to come along. It's not as direct a and isn't a let down if they say no. ( not that anyone has declined )

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

There are some great tips here thank you

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no. "

Exactly this.

You might be surprised how often the answer is yes.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Do you fancy going upstairs worked when someone asked me, once I got over the shock!!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I usually either ask if they want to go to a room or if it's someone I know I'll just say 'fancy a fuck?'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive attended Pandoras in Armley afew times, but with having Aspergers which is a mild form of Autism I also find that I get nervous about approaching others, is there any advice people could offer? Also with been a kidney transplant recipient (2009) my bladder doesnt work so unfortunately I have to wear bags all the time & I'm nervous that it would put women off. Any advice would be appreciated.

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By *attyduk76Man
over a year ago

nearby

"Ive attended Pandoras in Armley afew times, but with having Aspergers which is a mild form of Autism I also find that I get nervous about approaching others, is there any advice people could offer? Also with been a kidney transplant recipient (2009) my bladder doesnt work so unfortunately I have to wear bags all the time & I'm nervous that it would put women off. Any advice would be appreciated. "

Just be yourself and as long as your respectful it will be fine

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

We tend to ask people if they want to play nug a nug later. Or grope for trout in a peculiar river.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

Sounds spot on to me OP. You could be suggestive ... "You've made me feel playful ..." or "I'm all hot now ..." and see what the reply leads to ...

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

It used to be the case that people would show interest by gently touching your arm with the back of their fingers. It's totally non-threatening and you can easily ignore it if you don't reciprocate.

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"We tend to ask people if they want to play nug a nug later. Or grope for trout in a peculiar river.

I don't remember that at all... I just remembered lots and lots of squirt cream and a wet t-shirt ( that I treasure)

(What's Nug a nug?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It used to be the case that people would show interest by gently touching your arm with the back of their fingers. It's totally non-threatening and you can easily ignore it if you don't reciprocate."

I would naturally reach out to touch someone, but perhaps it may not be welcomed?

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

"I'm terribly at working out if somebody is interested in me, I mean you could be and I'd never guess...." They either say well of course I/we are or they ignore the prompt and you presume they aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve only been to one club but I assume simply asking ‘are you looking to play, are you interested?’ Would be fine. They can say yes, no, maybe later. That’s what you’re they’re for. And additional to some other comments - guys telling me how hard they are thinking about what they want to do with me... well if they’re sexy that gets me wet as fuck

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By *dores blackmenWoman
over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

Usually I'm chatting away,watching their body language and the eyes,if I feel it's going well,I just say would you like to play,if they say yes were off

If they say maybe later and hide from me the rest of the night,I know it's a no

Thankfully I've rarely had a no,polite men say maybe later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would NEVER have thought you had to ask questions like this!!! Ou always seem so confident and in control!

I'm exactly the same, and always get really nervous about how to progress from conversation. I feel somewhat better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this. I've definitely read the replies with interest! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""What sort of woman do you like? A woman like me?" (wink, seductive wiggle). Even I might get that one. On a confident night."

I’m so clueless, I’m sure I’ve missed that in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m rubbish at reading positive signs from the other person....sometimes I’m just too polite and afraid to take the leap of faith and go for it as don’t want to seem pushy!!

Difficult for me taking confidence from chatting here to taking into a club and applying the same level of confidence there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I'm terribly at working out if somebody is interested in me, I mean you could be and I'd never guess...." They either say well of course I/we are or they ignore the prompt and you presume they aren't."

I don't know, unless the conversation is about finding it difficult to figure out if people are interested, that could be a bit awkward. If you have to force the question into the conversation, it's gonna feel weird. It should be casual.

I think asking them if they have their eye on anyone might work after some light conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I attend clubs whenever I can and chat to lots of people.

I have no idea so how to let anybody know I'm interested in more than a chat, I would hate to come across as at all pushy or make anybody feel uncomfortable.

What is a subtle way that does not make anybody feel uncomfortable for me to say I could potentially be happy to take things further with a gent, lady or couple?

I would still like people to feel happy chatting to me afterwards if they were not keen, I just wouldn't want to make anything awkward. "
if its a guy just say hi its really that simple

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It used to be the case that people would show interest by gently touching your arm with the back of their fingers. It's totally non-threatening and you can easily ignore it if you don't reciprocate.

I would naturally reach out to touch someone, but perhaps it may not be welcomed? "

The whole point was it was a totally non-sexual touch and different in that it was deliberately done with the back of the hand. Some people naturally touch your arm when they talk to you which can be mis-interpreted. With this being so deliberate it can't and like I said is totally non-offensive

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I would NEVER have thought you had to ask questions like this!!! Ou always seem so confident and in control!

Hi gorgeous.

When it's just talk, I feel on top of it.

It's just a working out if there is the potential for more and letting them know but I'm keen and am interested is when I feel awkward.

I'm all good untill I want to show them I'm feeling it.

But I have got some tips from this thread and I will be putting it out there a little this year!

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"I attend clubs whenever I can and chat to lots of people.

I have no idea so how to let anybody know I'm interested in more than a chat, I would hate to come across as at all pushy or make anybody feel uncomfortable.

What is a subtle way that does not make anybody feel uncomfortable for me to say I could potentially be happy to take things further with a gent, lady or couple?

I would still like people to feel happy chatting to me afterwards if they were not keen, I just wouldn't want to make anything awkward. "

I generally treat the start of the night like I’m out at any ordinary bar/club - eye contact is vital, gentle flirting with innuendos, if that’s being responded to then I might touch an arm while making a joke etc and gage the response, again if this is taken well I suggest we take the conversation somewhere else......

On a couple of occasions a lady has just walked past and whispered in my ear that she really likes me and has taken my hand and dragged me into a dark corner for a snog

I go as a single guy, which is incredibly daunting at times.... I also absolutely refuse to join the wanking dead contingent.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I just ask them. If they say no then fair enough.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I attend clubs whenever I can and chat to lots of people.

I have no idea so how to let anybody know I'm interested in more than a chat, I would hate to come across as at all pushy or make anybody feel uncomfortable.

What is a subtle way that does not make anybody feel uncomfortable for me to say I could potentially be happy to take things further with a gent, lady or couple?

I would still like people to feel happy chatting to me afterwards if they were not keen, I just wouldn't want to make anything awkward. "

When I met my fwb the first time at a club, I went with the intention of a Social night only and ended up sitting near him. We got chatting and after 3 hours I instigated the play.....it had become very warm in the club so I said ‘gosh it’s so warm in here so I’m going to get dressed down and you are going to take me to a playroom’....he sprinted to the men’s changing room to dress down and within 15 minutes we were in a private room.

My advice OP is don’t over think it. Just go with the flow and await a suitable opportunity to instigate play.....

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no. "

That sounds like a lovely way to do it - relaxed and very non-pushy.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

I like that one! The inference of ".....like to catch you later" gives both parties a way in or out without any awkwardness. I've had this problem too as I'm extremely non-pushy, so sometimes wonder if I might miss out sometimes, or even appear uninterested when I very much am. The thought of making a woman uncomfortable is a horrifying one for me.

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By *ourayloversCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

We have the same problem, we're very chatty people and just think women are been nice polite, Lou's even worse than me at reading signals

Last time we were at the Attic in Derby Lou only realised the woman in the couple was bi was when she snogged her

Ray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

K was very nervous around clubs and finding new partners and if people were interested, I just suggested her words should be "maybe you'd like to play some time?" - if they are very interested you can be in the playroom less than 5 minutes later, if they are not interested then it gives them the opportunity to say "maybe another time". Although every time she's said that we've ended up in the playroom less than 5 minutes later....

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By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

We're very hopeless at this. One time, the first inkling we had they may be interested was when they followed us into a room and locked the door behind them! (Much love if you're reading this x)

It's one reason why we have socials - if they see us again then hopefully that's a clue!

At a club, we think it's harder, so taking on board all these tips ourselves.

(Btw Glitter, we saw you playing pool at Kestrels at the xmas party - we were playing Fußball next to you. Probably too late now, but he was definitely interested

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just say i know this is a little bit forward of me but we've been chatting a while, we get on and I'd like to get naked with you, what do you think?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

What that fuck is a wank-hole??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

What that fuck is a wank-hole??"
bit like a sink hole but difficult to tell which way the liquid is going

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

What that fuck is a wank-hole??"

Obviously it’s not ‘fuck’

the clue is in ‘wank’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

What that fuck is a wank-hole??

Obviously it’s not ‘fuck’

the clue is in ‘wank’

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"You could see a pretty lady and say “I really like your wank-hole”

What that fuck is a wank-hole??

Obviously it’s not ‘fuck’

the clue is in ‘wank’

Anyway, you’ve got a beard so could try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you very much, that's really kind.

What would you like a lady to say to you, to show that she is interested but not make you feel awkward?

I was thinking maybe something like "it's nice chatting to you, it a be fun catch you in the playroom later?"

I just find it so difficult to raise it from humorous banter and chit-chat to something more suggestive. "

I think that's a lovely way to let someone know you're interested.. I tend to use this often and it works very well for me. It's not pushy and not coming across as been desperate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no. "

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull

"I've not done it myself, but, after a bit of small talk, "fancy finding a room?" is rarely weird if the conversation has gone well, even if the answer is no.

Think this is what i was trying to say

Although don't be the person I've encountered many times "hi I'm x you're hot fancy a fuck?" swing and miss"

Oh gosh I got asked that once too - well miss the "you're hot" out.

He said don't go anywhere, wandered off, came back and said "can I fuck you"! The answer was no. Cheeky bugger hadn't even bought me a drink - how rude

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