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Is it worth it for single, straight guys?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"

Its a swinging site. Swinging is not just a quick fuck because one person wants a shag. Most people want some sort of connection and to enjoy a great experience and they need to feel comfortable and safe.

If you were hoping to get instashag then you need to look on sites were adults work and get paid.

I think you didn't get the memo explaining about swinging was before you joined .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers

Its a swinging site. Swinging is not just a quick fuck because one person wants a shag. Most people want some sort of connection and to enjoy a great experience and they need to feel comfortable and safe.

If you were hoping to get instashag then you need to look on sites were adults work and get paid.

I think you didn't get the memo explaining about swinging was before you joined . "

Great words _izzy.. Couldn't agree more..

I was thinking blow up doll could meet his requirements.

No talking and instant too

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By *on toneyMan
over a year ago

mancheater

i feel exactly the same single guys are not really wanted although some profiles say they are i too have had interest on this site but not as much as run of the mill dating sites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try looking for a breeding party....

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"i feel exactly the same single guys are not really wanted although some profiles say they are i too have had interest on this site but not as much as run of the mill dating sites "

I can assure you that single guys are wanted....as a single straight female I am not looking for anybody other than single guys. But the women don't just fuck anybody and need to have some attraction/ connection and men do need to put some effort in.

The number of men who have a really bad attitude and think they are doing some great service by offering ladies an erect penis is startling .

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By *on toneyMan
over a year ago

mancheater

hi lizzy i have to say i agree that swinging is not just about a meet up for a quick fuck but part of it is this site even has a format for same day meet ups for a fuck or a social

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fair enough, definitely taken on board.

To clarify, I don’t think I would be providing a service as much as mutually fulfilling each other’s needs.

However I think that isn’t the case on here, and yeah maybe I missed a memo, I’m completely new to all of this and just wanted to see what it was about/have some spontaneous fun, apparently not so much the case.

I also didn’t mean to offend anyone, thanks for the advice though

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Fair enough, definitely taken on board.

To clarify, I don’t think I would be providing a service as much as mutually fulfilling each other’s needs.

However I think that isn’t the case on here, and yeah maybe I missed a memo, I’m completely new to all of this and just wanted to see what it was about/have some spontaneous fun, apparently not so much the case.

I also didn’t mean to offend anyone, thanks for the advice though "

A lot of people don't understand the site . Don't get my wrong....some people do meet for spontaneous fun with strangers, but the majority there needs to be conversation first.

Maybe try club's for more luck with one off spontaneous meets. Another possibility is looking at meet requests in your area.

Glad you have responded quickly and are rethinking your approach .

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By *on toneyMan
over a year ago

mancheater

you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been on here for a fair while now and been in the swinging scene even longer, in truth guys if you're looking for a quick bunk up your probably in the wrong place. Standard dating sites will bear more fruit.

You will need to put in the leg work and immerse yourselves in the scene i.e go to clubs and meets, get to know people on a more personal basis and let it take its course.

The swinging world is an amazing one and i can honestly say i love being involved in it.

But thinking its a quick way to fill your needs will lead to dissapointment.

Immerse yourselves and be patient, its well worth it.

With that said good luck with it all

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd


"i feel exactly the same single guys are not really wanted although some profiles say they are i too have had interest on this site but not as much as run of the mill dating sites "

I only look for men, and there are plenty of women like me. Loads of men do very well here. And despite a common moan I see from men it isn’t the young hung 6 pack boys doing well, it’s the average guy next door types. If you’re struggling it’s worth looking at what you are actually offering. If you’re not selling yourself well the solution is with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"
yes it would seem you are, i would have thought the spontaneous fuck now meets are pretty rare on any Internet domain, they can generally only be obtained if you go to a club and then only if youre lucky and fit the wants of the people there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheersyes it would seem you are, i would have thought the spontaneous fuck now meets are pretty rare on any Internet domain, they can generally only be obtained if you go to a club and then only if youre lucky and fit the wants of the people there "

The spontaneous quick meets do happen very often... it’s usually after a person no shows and someone is looking to salvage their night....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are plenty of single women that look for single gents - I know dozens from the club scene and actually some nights when I have been out there just aren't enough nice single guys in the club as such a huge proportion of men on fab refuse to set foot in a club or party. The men that are successful on fab are the ones that get out from behind their screen and meet people in person at events, not the ones that sit at home whacking out the same message to every woman in a 50 mile radius hoping to get laid.

Fab and swinging isnt about scoring a fuck you dont get charged for and women are not free hookers. It's about friendship and a lifestyle and meeting people socially on the scene, not expecting women to provide you with a free blowjob in your lunch hour. Get out to socials or clubs and meet real people - there are plenty of womens and couples that enjoy the single guy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired "

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all "

Really? Still moaning! You’re not taking anything on board.

Change your attitude. I meet single men, I reply to pretty much all my messages, even if it’s with a no thank you.

Pity parties are so unattractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I was thinking blow up doll could meet his requirements.

No talking and instant too"

And literally just reading through the comments and saw this quote. That comment wasn't needed in my opinion and is a prime example of what I previously said about us single guys being looked down on/talked down to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

Really? Still moaning! You’re not taking anything on board.

Change your attitude. I meet single men, I reply to pretty much all my messages, even if it’s with a no thank you.

Pity parties are so unattractive "

It's not just my attitude that needs adjusting, there's plenty of others! I've only got a bad attitude at the moment due to others

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all "

I think any 'bad attitude' towards single guys is hugely down to the way the majority of single guys act on here. They put in minimum effort, send one word messages, don't read profiles, generally show a lack of respect & a lot seem to have a huge sense of entitlement. When you get dozens of messages from guys like that every day it makes you very disillusioned. But it also makes the occasional guy who does make an effort stand out from the crowd & those are the ones who get responses to messages and potentially get meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you are allowed to promote other sites on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

Really? Still moaning! You’re not taking anything on board.

Change your attitude. I meet single men, I reply to pretty much all my messages, even if it’s with a no thank you.

Pity parties are so unattractive

It's not just my attitude that needs adjusting, there's plenty of others! I've only got a bad attitude at the moment due to others "

Nothing will change until you learn accountability.

You cannot and never will be able to control how others think,see,feel, you can only be responsible for yourself

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

As part of a couple who only swing with single guys fab wouldn't work without them. However, we don't want average guys. We want guys who bring "extra" with them. What the extra is, can be different. But if you're average height, overweight, average cock, not a little kinky, we won't be meeting. We're not looking for a "Ford Focus" kinda guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I was thinking blow up doll could meet his requirements.

No talking and instant too

And literally just reading through the comments and saw this quote. That comment wasn't needed in my opinion and is a prime example of what I previously said about us single guys being looked down on/talked down to "

Quite right

The male of the species shouldn't have to put up with that sort of behaviour.

Leave the site,let's see how the ladies and couples will cope without the guys.

Leave now

That'll teach them

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

Really? Still moaning! You’re not taking anything on board.

Change your attitude. I meet single men, I reply to pretty much all my messages, even if it’s with a no thank you.

Pity parties are so unattractive

It's not just my attitude that needs adjusting, there's plenty of others! I've only got a bad attitude at the moment due to others

Nothing will change until you learn accountability.

You cannot and never will be able to control how others think,see,feel, you can only be responsible for yourself "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hi lizzy i have to say i agree that swinging is not just about a meet up for a quick fuck but part of it is this site even has a format for same day meet ups for a fuck or a social "

Now that's very true

Women are just as bad men on here by the way.

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By *assy_AttitudeWoman
over a year ago

RHYL

Totally agree with this statement

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"

This is a swinging site not a an nsa sex site. It probably pays to consider the difference

Ms Icebreaker

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As a single man you have to sell yourself really well and also accept that it takes them a lot of time to become established.

If you don't use your efforts wisely, it's probably a waste of your time. Making an honest assessment, how wisely have you really invested your effort?

Have you read and taken on board all of the good advice given to single men who struggle? Countless guys post every week along similar lines, so there's lots of information here.

Some people will have a meet that's arranged and done on the same day. The guys who work at it will do better than those who don't, on average. You can post meets for future days too.

Ultimately there are tons more single men here than people wanting to meet them, so evolutionary forces prevail. People who are flexible, adapt and are better suited to what's needed are likely to do better than if they hadn't - the survival of the fittest. Extinction prevails for those who struggle as dinosaurs did.

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

Back to the OP’s original statement, spontaneous meets do happen on fab, as do spontaneous socials that lead to spontaneous meets, and planned socials that lead to spontaneous meets. It’s all about trust. If a woman or couple havent met you before, or had much of a chance to chat then that trust has to come via others. Which is where the verifications comes in. You earn the right to fuck within a few hours of making contact. On any given day there are meets advertised for that day or evening, (I’m not talking about the 100s that delusional men throw them up every day) and the women and men that put them up (often because of a no-show, or because they’ve suddenly found themselves free) are putting themselves at risk. So they need to minimise that through choosing those with experience and a proven track record. You will not get close to them unless you have built trustworthiness. You need to be able to walk before you can run. And we all know how that works now don’t we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a straight guy, with the added impediment of being here without his partners knowledge, it's a challenge. There's a lot of competition and judgement which you have to take on the chin.

However, if you put the effort in, persevere and demonstrate resilience the rewards are absolutely worth it. I have met some absolutely fantastic people over the years, many of whom I still play with, all of whom are sti friends. 2019 in particular will take some beating.

That said, if you are constantly popping in and out, in search of instant gratification and more interested in your own needs rather than the needs of the people you are playing with, that's not swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"
short answer. Yes.

Go to a club

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

There are a lot of huge generalisations on this thread, mostly the old chestnut of "This is a swingers site, not a sex site" and the patronising implication that naive men come on the site wanting spontaneous or anonymous sex and women don't.

OP - everybody uses this site in different ways. Whatever the name, it is every bit as much a casual hookup place as a swingers site and there are plenty of single ladies after "meet now"/one-off/NSA sex. If those are your things, seek out the appropriate profiles and watch womens' statuses.

However... the ratio of the genders is more extreme than most "dating" sites. Straight women have their pick of literally thousands of guys (some of whom rule themselves out by being complete planks, but also colouring womens' view of Fab guys in general in the process). A decent profile and tailored messages will improve your chances. Whatever you're told, an 9 inch penis, boyband looks and a six pack will make things far easier. That's not to say that "ordinary" guys don't have success on the site, but unless you've got a Unique Selling Point or happen to strike lucky (right message, right recipient, right time), the odds of success at any given time are quite slim.

Perseverance pays off, but if you find Tinder etc work for you better you might be better off on those sites. (My issue with Tinder is that it's far more mainstream and a public face picture is pretty much expected, which means I wouldn't want to be mentioning specific kinks for all to see!)

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la


"Back to the OP’s original statement, spontaneous meets do happen on fab, as do spontaneous socials that lead to spontaneous meets, and planned socials that lead to spontaneous meets. It’s all about trust. If a woman or couple havent met you before, or had much of a chance to chat then that trust has to come via others. Which is where the verifications comes in. You earn the right to fuck within a few hours of making contact. On any given day there are meets advertised for that day or evening, (I’m not talking about the 100s that delusional men throw them up every day) and the women and men that put them up (often because of a no-show, or because they’ve suddenly found themselves free) are putting themselves at risk. So they need to minimise that through choosing those with experience and a proven track record. You will not get close to them unless you have built trustworthiness. You need to be able to walk before you can run. And we all know how that works now don’t we?"

This is a very valid point. As a single female I do look at verifications and am very unlikely to meet anyone who has none.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are the best place to meet and remember the forums represent a very small minority of the site users.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


" I was thinking blow up doll could meet his requirements.

No talking and instant too

And literally just reading through the comments and saw this quote. That comment wasn't needed in my opinion and is a prime example of what I previously said about us single guys being looked down on/talked down to "

If you have no idea about how women tick and, want just a hole, a blow up doll is a great choice.

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By *ornyhotcouple696969Couple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

Single men who write a good profile get much more luck than those who write one line.

It's a swinging site, not POF etc.

People want to read and learn about you when reading your profile.

A poorly written profile, with no information on, is about as much use as going on a date and not talking to your date!!!!

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Fab guys is more for quick one off meets as far as I've heard

Swinging is something different.

I know loads of men that'll take a risk for a chance of quick sex and yet no single women that will take a chance.

Even if a website was set up for free instant sex I suspect it'll be 1000 men to 1 female

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"

Those profiles that aren't aimed at single guys. Top tip.. ignore the ones that exclude,

my next top tip ...find the ones that include you and your requirements of quick meet fuck and go.

2goods observation..

The more niche your requirements the longer your search will be.

Wasting your time only you can decide how best to spend your effort and energy.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"Fab guys is more for quick one off meets as far as I've heard

Swinging is something different.

I know loads of men that'll take a risk for a chance of quick sex and yet no single women that will take a chance.

Even if a website was set up for free instant sex I suspect it'll be 1000 men to 1 female "

Very true...when I meet alone I'm taking a risk, that risk includes a blow & go lasting 30 seconds and/or aggression. Neither interests me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"

There are lots of ladies that like hook ups so think you've just got to keep searching for those, usually reading the profiles and statuses will be the best indicator plus let you know who not to waste your time messaging.

The forums probably aren't the best place to ask this as so few use them and I've noticed 90% plus of the ladies on here aren't the hook up sort either, me included, but there are lots more ladies on fab so happy searching and hope you find what you're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A straight male ? On fab , are you a real straight male ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i feel exactly the same single guys are not really wanted although some profiles say they are i too have had interest on this site but not as much as run of the mill dating sites

I can assure you that single guys are wanted....as a single straight female I am not looking for anybody other than single guys. But the women don't just fuck anybody and need to have some attraction/ connection and men do need to put some effort in.

The number of men who have a really bad attitude and think they are doing some great service by offering ladies an erect penis is startling . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers

Its a swinging site. Swinging is not just a quick fuck because one person wants a shag. Most people want some sort of connection and to enjoy a great experience and they need to feel comfortable and safe.

If you were hoping to get instashag then you need to look on sites were adults work and get paid.

I think you didn't get the memo explaining about swinging was before you joined . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m totally with you Lizzy. Some guy think a single female with just take anything x

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By *orseydaveMan
over a year ago

Norwich NR5

You should ave tried the swing scene before the internet..

Ad's in magazines, replying with a SAE, then waiting a couple of weeks, and even then having no idea what part of the country the interested couple lived in.

But it had it's benefits, the Jeremy Kyle-Style swingers who now number around 70% of this site, didn't know how to post a letter, let alone write one, so if you got a reply, you knew it was from someone genuine, and not some keyboard warrior bashing one off on his old mums pc.

Stick at it my friend, like you, and many others (unless born south of the equator and sporting 10"), I've met some wonderful couples over the years, and it's like anything else in life, you get out what you put in (no pun intended)

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man
over a year ago

Brandon


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"
I wouldn't worry about it mate. I'm a well verified genuine single guy. Been around the block more times than a second hand lurcher. Yet I really struggle on here. In the nine years I have been on here I have had half a dozen meets actually through fab. All the rest have been through meeting at clubs. Keep plodding along, get yourself to clubs and socials. Use fab as a tool to keep in touch with the people you have met. Go with the flow and you will be fine all the best for 2020

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I’m totally with you Lizzy. Some guy think a single female with just take anything x"

Some will, some won't. Don't understand why we're still talking about men and women as if they're a different species- even though I realise it must feel like that for both genders at times!

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

A huge number of these 'why can't I get meets/message replies" posts could be avoided if guys took the time to read profiles rather than just messaging any single female who is in the area or because their pics caught their eye. My profile specifically says that I'm not up for instant meets/sex & yet every day I receive messages asking if I'm free to meet now for sex. They then don't understand why I say no/don't respond.

Read the profile, absorb what it says & consider whether you match the profile or not, if you don't then don't message.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

OP, you’re not wasting your time, since are plenty of women looking for single guys.

However, it does sound as if your expectations in terms of timing are a little off. Yes, some guys get meets very soon after joining, but generally it takes some time. From a woman’s point of view, my priority is making sure I’m going to be safe and also getting something I want from a meet (as someone else posted, I don’t want to end up with a blow and go).

Stick with it, be patient and have fun using forums and socials etc to make new friends.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers I wouldn't worry about it mate. I'm a well verified genuine single guy. Been around the block more times than a second hand lurcher. Yet I really struggle on here. In the nine years I have been on here I have had half a dozen meets actually through fab. All the rest have been through meeting at clubs. Keep plodding along, get yourself to clubs and socials. Use fab as a tool to keep in touch with the people you have met. Go with the flow and you will be fine all the best for 2020"

I must be going to the wrong clubs, because I wouldn’t recommend the club scene for a single guy ever.

Refine your search function for people you are specifically looking for. Block any profile you’re not interested in, and block those profiles you don’t fit what they are looking for (read their profile for clarity). Narrowing your field of potential matches will increase your chances of ‘success’, and stripping out all the people you’re never going to meet allows you to focus.

Finally; be patient

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m totally with you Lizzy. Some guy think a single female with just take anything x

Some will, some won't. Don't understand why we're still talking about men and women as if they're a different species- even though I realise it must feel like that for both genders at times!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I must be going to the wrong clubs, because I wouldn’t recommend the club scene for a single guy ever. "

That's interesting... I've heard this before from a couple of other single guys. And yet I'm always told by others to attend social events. What would your reason be for not recommending the club scene for single guys?

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"The number of men who have a really bad attitude and think they are doing some great service by offering ladies an erect penis is startling . "

I'm sure there's a lot of truth in that. On the other hand, the status quo is only as it is because the supply (of erect penises) vastly outstrips demand.

I'm not suggesting for a second that women should lower their personal standards, but if 90 per cent of all the erect penises disappeared overnight, they might start to be taken a bit less for granted!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


" I must be going to the wrong clubs, because I wouldn’t recommend the club scene for a single guy ever.

That's interesting... I've heard this before from a couple of other single guys. And yet I'm always told by others to attend social events. What would your reason be for not recommending the club scene for single guys? "

Answered by pm

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Personally we love single guys lots of fun for Mrs. J and a team mate for Mr J to play with me...

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


" I must be going to the wrong clubs, because I wouldn’t recommend the club scene for a single guy ever.

That's interesting... I've heard this before from a couple of other single guys. And yet I'm always told by others to attend social events. What would your reason be for not recommending the club scene for single guys? "

From what I've observed and experienced, the behaviours that result in a good night or a bad night at a social are roughly the same as those that will provide a corresponding result at a club. But socials and clubs are very different things. Not least because some things that are quite common at clubs will get you kicked out of a social, and maybe arrested. (You think I'm joking. Some men don't know how to behave at a social).

The previous poster was wondering whether he tried the wrong clubs. True, every club is different, and some will suit some people better than others. But just turning up to the 'right' club or social isn't enough. If he's tried several and had no luck, then either he got spectacularly unlucky with his choices, or he's doing it wrong.

It's easy to blame external factors for our failures. It means we weren't wrong. We're still good people. It's not our fault that it didn't work, and we don't have to put any effort into changing. But that's not how the world works.

Even if it genuinely wasn’t our fault, there's usually a possibility that changing our approach will give us a better chance of success next time.

So how do you do it right? I don't really know. I somehow manage to do it, at least some of the time, because I've had a great time at clubs and socials. Yes, me, a single man. I think part of it is being positive, friendly, interested, respectful, non-pushy. I'm basically a big cuddly teddy bear, and people feel safe with me.

The most important thing is to forget all about sex. Remove it from your mind entirely. Yes, even at a club. The first half of the night (sometimes more, even the whole night) is a social thing. You're in a room full of friends (even if you don't know them yet) that you enjoy hanging out with, chatting, swapping amusing anecdotes, dancing if that's your thing. All that stuff.

Maybe during this you meet the right person (or people; swingers can be flexible about numbers) and hit it off. If you don't, you've still had a good time and can go to bed happy.

At least, that's how it goes for me. Other people are different and perhaps need to do things differently. There isn't one royal road to success. Whichever one you take will need effort to find and more effort to follow.

My most important advice (which I don't always follow, because I am still human) is to always stay positive. People like positivity. And it doesn't only affect the way others see you. Always looking for the good in everything will have a big effect on your own emotional state.

That's more than enough rambling from me.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Why do men expect female or couple just to meet at the drop of a hat there choice in what they what be more respectfull guys

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"A huge number of these 'why can't I get meets/message replies" posts could be avoided if guys took the time to read profiles rather than just messaging any single female who is in the area or because their pics caught their eye. My profile specifically says that I'm not up for instant meets/sex & yet every day I receive messages asking if I'm free to meet now for sex. They then don't understand why I say no/don't respond.

Read the profile, absorb what it says & consider whether you match the profile or not, if you don't then don't message. "

This I will never, ever understand, even as a red blooded guy who is probably guilty of thinking with his dick occasionally. Reading and digesting profiles is not just sensible, or a necessary evil, it's a big part of the fun of the site. The anticipation of wondering whether this one will be your perfect match - the elusive single lady whose criteria you fit and whom mentions the same interests or kinks. Sure, some of the bios which really speak down to guys, or issue pages and pages of "rules" can be a bit depressing, but generally speaking browsing the ladies on Fab is a pleasure for me, akin to wandering round a shop full of cakes, even though you know you couldn't possibly eat them all!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired "

You should try talking to the men! You might then think the women's "attitudes" are pretty mild!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

Really? Still moaning! You’re not taking anything on board.

Change your attitude. I meet single men, I reply to pretty much all my messages, even if it’s with a no thank you.

Pity parties are so unattractive

It's not just my attitude that needs adjusting, there's plenty of others! I've only got a bad attitude at the moment due to others

Nothing will change until you learn accountability.

You cannot and never will be able to control how others think,see,feel, you can only be responsible for yourself "

He’s a lost cause. Yet another forum post he’s on and still hasn’t learned a damn thing. Swinging is never going to work for him.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The only person you can change is yourself. Yes the market is stiff (ahem) for guys. But you can stand out with a bit of effort and taking on some advice, which has been repeated all over the forum ad nauseum.

Can't be bothered? Then no, Fab and swinging likely won't work for you.

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By *ildfirealchemist zfgMan
over a year ago

coliseum


" I must be going to the wrong clubs, because I wouldn’t recommend the club scene for a single guy ever.

That's interesting... I've heard this before from a couple of other single guys. And yet I'm always told by others to attend social events. What would your reason be for not recommending the club scene for single guys?

From what I've observed and experienced, the behaviours that result in a good night or a bad night at a social are roughly the same as those that will provide a corresponding result at a club. But socials and clubs are very different things. Not least because some things that are quite common at clubs will get you kicked out of a social, and maybe arrested. (You think I'm joking. Some men don't know how to behave at a social).

The previous poster was wondering whether he tried the wrong clubs. True, every club is different, and some will suit some people better than others. But just turning up to the 'right' club or social isn't enough. If he's tried several and had no luck, then either he got spectacularly unlucky with his choices, or he's doing it wrong.

It's easy to blame external factors for our failures. It means we weren't wrong. We're still good people. It's not our fault that it didn't work, and we don't have to put any effort into changing. But that's not how the world works.

Even if it genuinely wasn’t our fault, there's usually a possibility that changing our approach will give us a better chance of success next time.

So how do you do it right? I don't really know. I somehow manage to do it, at least some of the time, because I've had a great time at clubs and socials. Yes, me, a single man. I think part of it is being positive, friendly, interested, respectful, non-pushy. I'm basically a big cuddly teddy bear, and people feel safe with me.

The most important thing is to forget all about sex. Remove it from your mind entirely. Yes, even at a club. The first half of the night (sometimes more, even the whole night) is a social thing. You're in a room full of friends (even if you don't know them yet) that you enjoy hanging out with, chatting, swapping amusing anecdotes, dancing if that's your thing. All that stuff.

Maybe during this you meet the right person (or people; swingers can be flexible about numbers) and hit it off. If you don't, you've still had a good time and can go to bed happy.

At least, that's how it goes for me. Other people are different and perhaps need to do things differently. There isn't one royal road to success. Whichever one you take will need effort to find and more effort to follow.

My most important advice (which I don't always follow, because I am still human) is to always stay positive. People like positivity. And it doesn't only affect the way others see you. Always looking for the good in everything will have a big effect on your own emotional state.

That's more than enough rambling from me.

"

This is a very good point above take the time to take in the atmosphere and feel of a club. Being patient and able to converse is key. When things go well or otherwise you should learn and step up your game so to speak as opportunities to decline or avoid should be as commonplace as for male or female in my view. You can end up looking a bit obsessed and desperate otherwise. Taking in a drink at the bar or chilling in the cinema room are options to reflect and review the night or chat to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A huge number of these 'why can't I get meets/message replies" posts could be avoided if guys took the time to read profiles rather than just messaging any single female who is in the area or because their pics caught their eye. My profile specifically says that I'm not up for instant meets/sex & yet every day I receive messages asking if I'm free to meet now for sex. They then don't understand why I say no/don't respond.

Read the profile, absorb what it says & consider whether you match the profile or not, if you don't then don't message.

This I will never, ever understand, even as a red blooded guy who is probably guilty of thinking with his dick occasionally. Reading and digesting profiles is not just sensible, or a necessary evil, it's a big part of the fun of the site. The anticipation of wondering whether this one will be your perfect match - the elusive single lady whose criteria you fit and whom mentions the same interests or kinks. Sure, some of the bios which really speak down to guys, or issue pages and pages of "rules" can be a bit depressing, but generally speaking browsing the ladies on Fab is a pleasure for me, akin to wandering round a shop full of cakes, even though you know you couldn't possibly eat them all!

"

I like you naughty York gent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope,I have a couples profile and my single profile.I only play with single males.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"A huge number of these 'why can't I get meets/message replies" posts could be avoided if guys took the time to read profiles rather than just messaging any single female who is in the area or because their pics caught their eye. My profile specifically says that I'm not up for instant meets/sex & yet every day I receive messages asking if I'm free to meet now for sex. They then don't understand why I say no/don't respond.

Read the profile, absorb what it says & consider whether you match the profile or not, if you don't then don't message.

This I will never, ever understand, even as a red blooded guy who is probably guilty of thinking with his dick occasionally. Reading and digesting profiles is not just sensible, or a necessary evil, it's a big part of the fun of the site. The anticipation of wondering whether this one will be your perfect match - the elusive single lady whose criteria you fit and whom mentions the same interests or kinks. Sure, some of the bios which really speak down to guys, or issue pages and pages of "rules" can be a bit depressing, but generally speaking browsing the ladies on Fab is a pleasure for me, akin to wandering round a shop full of cakes, even though you know you couldn't possibly eat them all!

I like you naughty York gent "

Why thank you Vistas!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi all,

After being on this as part of a couple and now as a single male I find it hard to get a message back now.

For me, I'm not just looking for a quick shag, i like the social aspect of swinging and if anything happens sex wise then it's a massive bonus

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

Exactly this, i know plenty of average guys, alot over 50 that get so much attention that they cant possibly fit everyone in to their schedule. Alot of single guys signed up with the wrong attitude and expectations of what the site is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

I think any 'bad attitude' towards single guys is hugely down to the way the majority of single guys act on here. They put in minimum effort, send one word messages, don't read profiles, generally show a lack of respect & a lot seem to have a huge sense of entitlement. When you get dozens of messages from guys like that every day it makes you very disillusioned. But it also makes the occasional guy who does make an effort stand out from the crowd & those are the ones who get responses to messages and potentially get meets.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only meet single guys but never on a quick 'fuck tonight' basis. In our experience, the most succesful guys on this site are the ones who play the long game, building a little network of contacts which eventually results in meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, fab is like a no frills swinging site. There are far better sites out there, although the best ones you pay a monthly fee, not much more than here really, but you can see the difference in the user's. I've been lucky enough to meet a good few on here, and I come here to keep in touch with people. But there are better out there. Depends on how much time you want to dedicate to the lifestyle

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"
yes, your wasting your time on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" He’s a lost cause. Yet another forum post he’s on and still hasn’t learned a damn thing. Swinging is never going to work for him. "

Oh look, yet another comment from you that I find to be quite rude, saying that I'm a lost cause. If you had bothered to read my more positive comments, then you would see that I actually have taken some advice given, being that I will start attending socials when I can! Perhaps instead of getting your claws out, if you really want to help then why don't you message me privately, speak to me with a little respect and offer me some true advice and guidance!And you say that my attitude needs adjusting?

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By *ust_A_Tease_To_PleaseWoman
over a year ago

South Wales: Newport, Chepstow


" I can assure you that single guys are wanted....as a single straight female I am not looking for anybody other than single guys. But the women don't just fuck anybody and need to have some attraction/ connection and men do need to put some effort in.

The number of men who have a really bad attitude and think they are doing some great service by offering ladies an erect penis is startling. "

Totally ditto here too. Looking for guys (single or here with partners knowledge - not interested in those who play in secret) but so many have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I can assure you that single guys are wanted....as a single straight female I am not looking for anybody other than single guys. But the women don't just fuck anybody and need to have some attraction/ connection and men do need to put some effort in.

The number of men who have a really bad attitude and think they are doing some great service by offering ladies an erect penis is startling.

Totally ditto here too. Looking for guys (single or here with partners knowledge - not interested in those who play in secret) but so many have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue."

Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? It's a fact that single guys seem to outnumber the women/couples and that's where the women/couples have the upper hand,they all know that they can pick us up and put us down whenever it suits because they will always have a que of single guys at their disposal. (from my personal experience anyway)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not about having luck on here it's about making connections and enjoying getting to know people, I meet women off here and occasional couples on a quite regular basis just be laid back, chill out and chat to people like a normal person not a sex starved idiot and you will soon find your self getting an invite to meet, and trust me socials are your freind!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Undoubtedly there are those on here that think they're god's gift but i don't think that's limited to any one group of people.

Spontaneous meets i keep for those single guys on my friends list mostly.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"i feel exactly the same single guys are not really wanted although some profiles say they are i too have had interest on this site but not as much as run of the mill dating sites

I only look for men, and there are plenty of women like me. Loads of men do very well here. And despite a common moan I see from men it isn’t the young hung 6 pack boys doing well, it’s the average guy next door types. If you’re struggling it’s worth looking at what you are actually offering. If you’re not selling yourself well the solution is with you. "

Yep, this is very true! Imagine you're chatting in a pub with a friend of a friend, in the queue at the till in Tesco or with a work colleague in the office. Behaving normally in a genuine, friendly and easy manner, spliced with a little good humour and before you know it you'll be coming across as someone who might just be worth getting to know. Don't think about sex, but concentrate on taking the pressure off and enjoy the evening. Don't EVER pressurise a woman or couple, but wait and see if they show signs of warmth and don't be there pre-loaded with a wish list of expectations. Above all make sure what you do and say is 100% genuine and be genuinely interested in them, not doing everything in a way that's just geared up to you having sex before the night is over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not about having luck on here it's about making connections and enjoying getting to know people, I meet women off here and occasional couples on a quite regular basis just be laid back, chill out and chat to people like a normal person not a sex starved idiot and you will soon find your self getting an invite to meet, and trust me socials are your freind!!!!!"

There you go, op. This chap has nailed it exactly

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I can do it, anyone can.

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By *nce a MinxWoman
over a year ago

near basingstoke


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers

Its a swinging site. Swinging is not just a quick fuck because one person wants a shag. Most people want some sort of connection and to enjoy a great experience and they need to feel comfortable and safe.

If you were hoping to get instashag then you need to look on sites were adults work and get paid.

I think you didn't get the memo explaining about swinging was before you joined . "

Lols, beautifully put

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By *ust_A_Tease_To_PleaseWoman
over a year ago

South Wales: Newport, Chepstow


" Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? "

So... Guys act entitled and have an attitude problem because they are treated like they are disposable? Used then discarded?

So guys act entitled cos they get too much NSA sex and then complain and act like they are entitled to NSA sex from anyone, which then causes them to not get any and moan about it?

Something here isn't making sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable?

So... Guys act entitled and have an attitude problem because they are treated like they are disposable? Used then discarded?

So guys act entitled cos they get too much NSA sex and then complain and act like they are entitled to NSA sex from anyone, which then causes them to not get any and moan about it?

Something here isn't making sense. "

You noticed that too, huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish i could meet a genuine straight man and i mean straight.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The only people to blame for entitlement issues are those with entitlement issues. Period.

If you think you deserve someone's time, attention, or body, rethink. You don't. Nor do I. Nor does anyone.

If you're upset that you're not getting what you're looking for, examine yourself. Being unpleasant will only make it worse. Treating us like we're less than human (which happens a lot) will make it much worse.

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By *ust_A_Tease_To_PleaseWoman
over a year ago

South Wales: Newport, Chepstow


" Imagine you're chatting in a pub with a friend of a friend, in the queue at the till in Tesco or with a work colleague in the office. Behaving normally in a genuine, friendly and easy manner, spliced with a little good humour and before you know it you'll be coming across as someone who might just be worth getting to know. Don't think about sex, but concentrate on taking the pressure off and enjoy the evening. Don't EVER pressurise a woman or couple, but wait and see if they show signs of warmth and don't be there pre-loaded with a wish list of expectations. Above all make sure what you do and say is 100% genuine and be genuinely interested in them, not doing everything in a way that's just geared up to you having sex before the night is over. "

So much this.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The only people to blame for entitlement issues are those with entitlement issues. Period.

If you think you deserve someone's time, attention, or body, rethink. You don't. Nor do I. Nor does anyone.

If you're upset that you're not getting what you're looking for, examine yourself. Being unpleasant will only make it worse. Treating us like we're less than human (which happens a lot) will make it much worse. "

Yep! There are some people around who will treat men badly right from the get go, but getting an arse on will get you absolutely nowhere and make YOU look like you have no class and like you're entitled quite easily. If you do get treated that way bear in mind those people were never worth the bother anyway and would they be people you want to get to know??? The majority of men who behave in an entitled manner will get themselves absolutely nowhere and effectively mark their own cards. As a consequence they effectively remove themselves from any chance they may have had and leave the door open for one of the respectful guys who 'gets' it and as a result may well benefit from your mistakes/misdemeanours/misfortune.

In a nutshell be classy or you've no chance.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's the entitled people (not just men) who made me defensive in the first place. A lot of people see my barriers as treating them (particularly but not just men) as disposable.

It's not. I'm protecting myself from the people here who want to use, even hurt me. Yes you have to get through my barriers. Yes I have a lot of choice. But taking the time means you stand out. And once I'm interested we're genuinely equals.

If you can't be bothered... Neither can I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the entitled people (not just men) who made me defensive in the first place. A lot of people see my barriers as treating them (particularly but not just men) as disposable.

It's not. I'm protecting myself from the people here who want to use, even hurt me. Yes you have to get through my barriers. Yes I have a lot of choice. But taking the time means you stand out. And once I'm interested we're genuinely equals.

If you can't be bothered... Neither can I. "

What she said

With knobs on

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"It's the entitled people (not just men) who made me defensive in the first place. A lot of people see my barriers as treating them (particularly but not just men) as disposable.

It's not. I'm protecting myself from the people here who want to use, even hurt me. Yes you have to get through my barriers. Yes I have a lot of choice. But taking the time means you stand out. And once I'm interested we're genuinely equals.

If you can't be bothered... Neither can I. "

That's exactly it! A lot of the 'entitled' guys who think Fab and swinging is a 'one message and hop into bed' need to read what you've just written. It's the best explanation from a single female perspective I've seen yet. It's no different to meeting in a pub or other social setting.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"

Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? It's a fact that single guys seem to outnumber the women/couples and that's where the women/couples have the upper hand,they all know that they can pick us up and put us down whenever it suits because they will always have a que of single guys at their disposal. (from my personal experience anyway) "

I am sorry but that is not true. I have had some awful abuse just because I said I won't meet guys who have messaged me out of the blue and I've never spoken to before for a fuck right now. That sort of attitude has nothing to do with how they are treated on here that is just some guys being asses. And yes I do think guys have it tough on here.it I don't mess guys around I also don't do spontaneous meets tho I like to get to know guys a bit before I meet. I don't think I lead people on and I certainly don't drop them and pick them up like that. That may be your experience but I don't think it is the norm tho maybe you have been talking to the wrong people.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex"

You definitely thought wrong there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are plenty of single women that look for single gents - I know dozens from the club scene and actually some nights when I have been out there just aren't enough nice single guys in the club as such a huge proportion of men on fab refuse to set foot in a club or party. The men that are successful on fab are the ones that get out from behind their screen and meet people in person at events, not the ones that sit at home whacking out the same message to every woman in a 50 mile radius hoping to get laid.

Fab and swinging isnt about scoring a fuck you dont get charged for and women are not free hookers. It's about friendship and a lifestyle and meeting people socially on the scene, not expecting women to provide you with a free blowjob in your lunch hour. Get out to socials or clubs and meet real people - there are plenty of womens and couples that enjoy the single guy!"

I couldn't have said that better myself.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"As part of a couple who only swing with single guys fab wouldn't work without them. However, we don't want average guys. We want guys who bring "extra" with them. What the extra is, can be different. But if you're average height, overweight, average cock, not a little kinky, we won't be meeting. We're not looking for a "Ford Focus" kinda guy. "

I love this... and it matches exactly what I think.

Why would I want average?

I have been known to meet spontaneously, but it has been with absolutely exceptional males who have given me absolutely fantastic experiences. Would never settle for anything less.

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd


" Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? It's a fact that single guys seem to outnumber the women/couples and that's where the women/couples have the upper hand,they all know that they can pick us up and put us down whenever it suits because they will always have a que of single guys at their disposal. (from my personal experience anyway) "

4 weeks ago you created a post that was basically about how a BBW did not deserve a good looking guy. To quote you...

'...directly from a womens profile: "If you are tall and dark with rugby bodytype you are my type. And when I say tall I do mean 5'11"

...this particular lady is a bbw herself ... it just really gets to me, how people expect you to be this and that, when they aren't anything special themselves!'

You think that because you do not deem her good enough for you, then she cannot be allowed to deem you not good enough for her.

That lady did not create your sense of entitlement, you already had it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

First of all, show a lot of respect for the ladies on here would be a good start. Build a rapport and show you your best qualities and that you are worth the ladies time. Every female on Fab is outnumbered 20-1, so you have to be really good to be even considered. A lot of the ladies on fab have very busy lives and can not arrange meets at short notice which is really understandable. This is not an hook up site. You would do yourself a favour to check out the arranged meets and get yourself verified if you are not already. All the ladies are amazing and are worth putting the extra effort in to impress them. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Realistically, if you are traditionally good looking, vanilla and genuinely single, you’re gonna have more luck on the apps. I joined to meet single guys and to find a fuck buddy. It’s also great for finding more open minded guys for group sex or something kinky. So now i have a fuck buddy (being perfectly honest he’s not the hottest guy I’ve met from fab but he’s a good fuck, laid back and pretty reliable) I do say I’m only interested if you have something special about you - I like bi guys, kinksters, BDSM...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, OP, you've made the same rookie error that most single guys make when joining fab in so much as your expectations of the site.

Most assume that all they need do is knock up a couple of lines of text (some don't even go that far), upload a couple of cock picks and expect to have women beating down their door by lunchtime.

The reality is very, very different

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"To be fair, OP, you've made the same rookie error that most single guys make when joining fab in so much as your expectations of the site.

Most assume that all they need do is knock up a couple of lines of text (some don't even go that far), upload a couple of cock picks and expect to have women beating down their door by lunchtime.

The reality is very, very different"

OP. These words above plus what a lot of other people have said, are spot on.

This site isn't an Instant Shag site. It never has been nor will be.

At only 4 weeks on here, you are a mere beginner. It can take months with plenty of Patience and Perseverance in reserve to get yourself noticed.

You're up against so many other guys, all seeking the same goal. What you achieve is down to how well you SELL YOURSELF!

It's as simple as that. Put in the effort, and you will achieve success.

But don't look for ladies beating a path to your door in days; deep down, if that's what you expected, dream on.

It does work; good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the entitled people (not just men) who made me defensive in the first place. A lot of people see my barriers as treating them (particularly but not just men) as disposable.

It's not. I'm protecting myself from the people here who want to use, even hurt me. Yes you have to get through my barriers. Yes I have a lot of choice. But taking the time means you stand out. And once I'm interested we're genuinely equals.

If you can't be bothered... Neither can I. "

Well said!

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"As part of a couple who only swing with single guys fab wouldn't work without them. However, we don't want average guys. We want guys who bring "extra" with them. What the extra is, can be different. But if you're average height, overweight, average cock, not a little kinky, we won't be meeting. We're not looking for a "Ford Focus" kinda guy.

I love this... and it matches exactly what I think.

Why would I want average?

I have been known to meet spontaneously, but it has been with absolutely exceptional males who have given me absolutely fantastic experiences. Would never settle for anything less. "

Hallelujah for these two quotes - finally! THIS is the crux of the situation, and it's one that the majority of men are just going to have to live with. We all know there are way more guys than women, so those women, understandably, pick the "best" guys - whatever "best" may be.

Although giving profile and messaging advice, managing guys' expectations, imploring them not to be crude or jump in feet first is useful, it's just skirting the issue. The blunt truth is that guys can do everything right and still just not float anyone's boat - just like in life outside Fab.

I also see people are STILL trotting out the same old myths - "Fab is a swingers site, not a sex site". "This isn't insta-Shag" etc. Absolute rubbish. Every day on my feed I see women posting statuses looking for new guys to meet that afternoon, that night, followed by details of the encounter and thanks the next day or shortly afterwards. Fab is very much "Insta Shag" (if they wish it to be) for women and hot, toned, muscly, tall, gym-fit blokes with 8"+! Envious? Of course, but there's feck all point being bitter about it. The rest of us can and do have success on here, we just have to put in an amount of work proportional to our attractiveness to the opposite sex!

The point about the relative merits of Fab vs dating apps is also a good one. If watersports wasn't one of the main things I'm seeking, I'd be tempted to move away from Fab and fetish sites towards Tinder and the like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is a swingers site first and foremost but also fan is what everyone makes of it.

Personally, having been on and off for a few years, I just enjoy being here and chatting in the forums etc. Not overly concerned with the meet side of thing but if it happens it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you maybe right lizzy but there are also women on this site whos attitudes leav e a lot to be desired

well said! I've discovered that sometimes there seems to be a bad attitude towards single males. And when we pipe up and start a forum thread we seem to get looked down on and, when we are only trying our best to understand how the scene works and meet others. I see it all the tine on these forums, single women and couples moaning about us single guys but as you've quite rightly stated, some women/couples do leave a lot to be desired. It should work both ways but frim my personal experience, it's not like that at all

I think any 'bad attitude' towards single guys is hugely down to the way the majority of single guys act on here. They put in minimum effort, send one word messages, don't read profiles, generally show a lack of respect & a lot seem to have a huge sense of entitlement. When you get dozens of messages from guys like that every day it makes you very disillusioned. But it also makes the occasional guy who does make an effort stand out from the crowd & those are the ones who get responses to messages and potentially get meets.

"

Absolutely agree with this

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire


" Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? It's a fact that single guys seem to outnumber the women/couples and that's where the women/couples have the upper hand,they all know that they can pick us up and put us down whenever it suits because they will always have a que of single guys at their disposal. (from my personal experience anyway)

4 weeks ago you created a post that was basically about how a BBW did not deserve a good looking guy. To quote you...

'...directly from a womens profile: "If you are tall and dark with rugby bodytype you are my type. And when I say tall I do mean 5'11"

...this particular lady is a bbw herself ... it just really gets to me, how people expect you to be this and that, when they aren't anything special themselves!'

You think that because you do not deem her good enough for you, then she cannot be allowed to deem you not good enough for her.

That lady did not create your sense of entitlement, you already had it.

"

Youch! Yeah that’s not good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Perhaps so many single guys have a terrible attitude and entitlement issue because we are treated as if we are disposable? It's a fact that single guys seem to outnumber the women/couples and that's where the women/couples have the upper hand,they all know that they can pick us up and put us down whenever it suits because they will always have a que of single guys at their disposal. (from my personal experience anyway)

4 weeks ago you created a post that was basically about how a BBW did not deserve a good looking guy. To quote you...

'...directly from a womens profile: "If you are tall and dark with rugby bodytype you are my type. And when I say tall I do mean 5'11"

...this particular lady is a bbw herself ... it just really gets to me, how people expect you to be this and that, when they aren't anything special themselves!'

You think that because you do not deem her good enough for you, then she cannot be allowed to deem you not good enough for her.

That lady did not create your sense of entitlement, you already had it.

Youch! Yeah that’s not good "

Just follow his green arrow. It’s amusing to read. It’s everyone else’s fault. But never ever his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d love to find a single guy to play with . C x

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By *ung DomMan
over a year ago

Dudley


"I see a lot of women’s profiles are more aimed towards other women, or joining a couple.

What about us straight, single guys? I joined thinking I’d be immersed in a world of sex with no strings attached and no judgements involved, when I reality I’ve had more luck off of tinder and other likewise dating apps.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some interest, but it’s a lot of planning weeks in advance etc. And most of the time I come in because I spontaneously wanna meet and fuck somebody likeminded that evening.

Am I wasting my time with this site? And is there any other sites for this kind of thing that anyone would recommend?

Cheers"

Everyone is here for their own reasons

If a woman only wants other women or just Black guys or just couples - that's entirely their own choice.

Good luck to everyone and happy hunting.

HD xxx

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I’d love to find a single guy to play with . C x"

Well I can't imagine that would be a problem for you! x

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

I would ditch the picture of you that shows you with a partner on the wall. My first thoughts were nice body but then spotted the photos of a partner and kids toys on the floor. So immediately know you would be a risk. Other women will spit this too

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By *hilhurwellMan
over a year ago

Würzburg, Bavaria, Germany

It seems that Fabswingers is whatever you want it to be.

Some just want to chat

Some get a kick out of exhibiting a gallery of their assets

Some love the ever-popular "Message Tennis"

While everybody else just wants a fuck buddy for regular meets.

I've more contact details of single ladies and couples from adult club meets in the last year than in the last 5 years on-and-off on Fabswingers.

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By *hilhurwellMan
over a year ago

Würzburg, Bavaria, Germany

It seems that Fabswingers is whatever you want it to be.

Some just want to chat

Some get a kick out of exhibiting a gallery of their assets

Some love the ever-popular "Message Tennis"

While everybody else just wants a fuck buddy for regular meets.

I've more contact details of single ladies and couples from adult club meets in the last year than in the last 5 years on-and-off on Fabswingers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This just made me chuckle, so the picture was taken in my sisters room(which I’ve commandeered over Christmas visiting family) and it’s a picture of her and her gay best friend

But I totally didn’t notice that!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"It seems that Fabswingers is whatever you want it to be.

Some just want to chat

Some get a kick out of exhibiting a gallery of their assets

Some love the ever-popular "Message Tennis"

While everybody else just wants a fuck buddy for regular meets.

I've more contact details of single ladies and couples from adult club meets in the last year than in the last 5 years on-and-off on Fabswingers.

"

There are also those people who prefer club meets, and those who prefer to use Fab for private meets. In the main, where people live close to a club, or choice of clubs, it’s an easier option to ‘just go to a club’. Why wouldn’t you? It’s on your doorstep right? But for those of us who aren’t so fortunate to have a club within a short taxi drive, we put more effort in to using Fab for private meets.

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