FabSwingers.com forum: Open lifestyle, all good, no drama but ...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

... my partner still keeps in contact with an abusive ex.

We have an open relationship and have done for years. They select suitors for me and vice versatile.

My partner and her ex split up 17 years ago.

They have been in touch on at least once every 6 months since. To the best of my knowledge, they haven’t hooked up. I just don’t understand the need to keep in contact with someone they still call a cunt.

Any tips / advice / guidance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask your partner

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"... my partner still keeps in contact with an abusive ex.

We have an open relationship and have done for years. They select suitors for me and vice versatile.

My partner and her ex split up 17 years ago.

Any tips / advice / guidance?

Tell your partner about your single guy fab profile

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By *ittle-black-dressWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

It very much depends on your dynamic/understanding. Perhaps ask the question but don't forget to tell your partner that you still love them no matter what. Tell them that you're not jealous but just for piece of mind, nobody likes things being done behind their back, right?

Best of luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There could be many reasons for this.

Lots of victims of have mixed feelings towards their abuser - a combination of love and hatred. Perhaps your partner likes to check in to see how they're doing every so often.

Maybe the abuser still has some kind of hold over your partner which makes them feel obliged to respond to contact.

Maybe it serves as a healthy reminder what a prick the abuser was.

....plus a bunch of other possible scenarios. But the only way to really find out is to speak to your partner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There could be many reasons for this.

Lots of victims of have mixed feelings towards their abuser - a combination of love and hatred. Perhaps your partner likes to check in to see how they're doing every so often.

Maybe the abuser still has some kind of hold over your partner which makes them feel obliged to respond to contact.

Maybe it serves as a healthy reminder what a prick the abuser was.

....plus a bunch of other possible scenarios. But the only way to really find out is to speak to your partner."

Thank you so much for sharingthis! I will definitely have the chat, just needed some perspective. All of this makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It very much depends on your dynamic/understanding. Perhaps ask the question but don't forget to tell your partner that you still love them no matter what. Tell them that you're not jealous but just for piece of mind, nobody likes things being done behind their back, right?

Best of luck xxx "

Thank you! It isn’t done behind my back and there’s definitely no jealousy.

I just find it odd. I’ll definitely have the chat and frame it as you suggested.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Be interesting to find out why she does. I don't have contact with any exes except the one i have children with who wasn't toxic. Not all of my relationsips were toxic but i don't feel a need to keep in tocuh with any of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be interesting to find out why she does. I don't have contact with any exes except the one i have children with who wasn't toxic. Not all of my relationsips were toxic but i don't feel a need to keep in tocuh with any of them."

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By *issyEMWoman
over a year ago

Nearly

Got same problem. My ex partner is in good contact with his family. They not accept me as new partner and give any reason to humiliate me. Over Xmas I found on fb collage with picture my parter his child and ex with other pict together as (family). He said they not having contact but is hard to belive. It's painful for me as I am his new partner not her so why his family keep on doing that?

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