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Where has all the Art gone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well we both have a good few years experience on here together and apart (we actually met in a swinger club with some additional persuasion of friends) he has had about 5 years experience (60+ verifications) as a single gent and I have 2 or more years on here.

Both had a few profiles in the past and to be honest this one is a bit jokey with the hope that someone actually reads it at least? pmsl

Must admit that we are both are missing the art of things of late.

We are both reasonably social creatures and definitely don't have any trouble attracting people in clubs but online seems to be a real of a chore

Let us just say we have been getting lots of mail and just as many unsolicited friends invites but what ever happened to a polite or funny short message and a face or reasonable arty/sexy picture? after all isn't the game of it to inspire and attract, strike up a conversation and go from there? We even say all the time "how the hell am I supposed to write a reply to that?" or its all few words and pictures that are genitals, a bit crude or just plain lazy.

Yet it seems odd that people can write a nice polite message asking what a club is like?

We understand that the southwest where we are isn't exactly a hive of swingers (millions single guy's as usual PMSL) but it's a real struggle for us to get inspired to meet new people

What's happened to the art of things we have definitely noticed that alot of people we used to know have got fed up with fab and left or tend to network separately offline in smaller groups.

Now let us be clear we are not having a rant but if we all put a bit of the "art" back into contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone.

Happy swinging everyone let us all put the fab back into fab and make it a better place for everyone

Vixen and Teddington x

Sits back cringing waiting for the abuse and spelling corrections as in other posts PMSL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can get behind this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" ..... contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone. .....

"

Amen to that

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I think that the problem for most men, certainly from what I've seen on here, is that they can produce the most wonderfully constructed message, linking it to the profiles likes and dislikes etc and it still gets read and deleted with no reply. Must get disheartening after sending out 20+ like that.

Having said that, the quality of most messages I receive is appalling. Fortunately not all

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

So glad it is not just us. We has put it down to age and the fact that we have been on the scene 6 years now. Put up a meet request and you get a few one word messages or a friends request nothing else. But trying to strike up conversation are near impossible it seems.

The other thing we have noticed is others seem to want us to do all the work. They ask to meet you swap face pics and agree, then they ask where to meet, what day and time, it is like they can't make a decision. This extended recently to a weekend away where a couple asked to meet us we agree and dispite us pointing out that we didn't know the area so couldn't suggest a pub to meet in they still would not suggest somewhere. When we eventually said forget it they got quite abusive, needless to say they are now on our block list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" ..... contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone. .....

Amen to that "

Glad it's not just me feeling this way, beginning to feel like a whore for sale

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So glad it is not just us. We has put it down to age and the fact that we have been on the scene 6 years now. Put up a meet request and you get a few one word messages or a friends request nothing else. But trying to strike up conversation are near impossible it seems.

The other thing we have noticed is others seem to want us to do all the work. They ask to meet you swap face pics and agree, then they ask where to meet, what day and time, it is like they can't make a decision. This extended recently to a weekend away where a couple asked to meet us we agree and dispite us pointing out that we didn't know the area so couldn't suggest a pub to meet in they still would not suggest somewhere. When we eventually said forget it they got quite abusive, needless to say they are now on our block list."

We that we have had similar problems. We would love just to lift the culture to a bit of a better place. Big ask but it is all the little things by the meny that will get it there

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I find that it's the expectations of a quick shag that's the problem. Too many people join thinking that this is just a hook up site.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"I find that it's the expectations of a quick shag that's the problem. Too many people join thinking that this is just a hook up site. "

Spot on.

I'm close to you, fancy a shag? I'm free now, fancy a shag? I'm in my car passing where you live, fancy wanking me off?

Honestly, that accounts for the vast majority of my messages.

I don't have a solution. I feel the frustration of crafting a beautiful message only to have it deleted unread, I understand why people feel the way they do, but as difficult as it is to engage someone in conversation on here surely putting some effort in will have a higher success rate?

Or maybe there are hordes of women desperate to give handjobs to strangers they've never spoken to, what the hell do I know?

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By *nto My ArmsMan
over a year ago

Herts/London

Trying here!

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Trying here! "

I've never been on the receiving end of one of your messages but your profile is a delight!

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By *nto My ArmsMan
over a year ago

Herts/London


"Trying here!

I've never been on the receiving end of one of your messages but your profile is a delight!"

Thank you! I'll be sure to remedy that then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my meets with a single lady and two with couples via Fab have involved a situation where i have been corresponding for maybe 6-12 month about this'n'that before finally meeting. Some of us are still happy to communicate openly and over time to build a bond.

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By *exTexMan
over a year ago

here and there

Have you seen women's and couples profiles these days... ?

Type 'lemon' in the subject so we know you've read the profile

Include a face (even though they don't have one)

Send a cock pic

Don't ever send cock pic

Tell us what you want (even though there's nothing to go on in the profile)

Be original don't copy and paste

We're ok thanks, we've had a nice day, etc... yawn..

Don't send winks

Don't add as friends unless we've spoken..

If you don't say bi on your profile don't bother. If you do say bi dont bother.

Address both of us

Only address him (even though there's no details about him or even what kind of kink dynamic is at play.

If we want a man we'll find you..

Be really single (dont want drama)

Be honest (dont care if you're married or not)

I mean so many rules to comply with is it any wonder many don't bother and just go to clubs where they can let their body and personality sparkle?

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By *ore4fundevonCouple
over a year ago

West Devon

Nice to know it's not just us. Even as a couple messaging other couples our messages get read and deleted or sometimes not even read at all with so much as a no thanks. Can imagine how some of the guys feel and understand why they put no effort in.

For the record always happy to chat or consider a social if nothing else.

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By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

One of the many reasons is that you can have access to sites likes this in the palm of your hand. Anywhere. Anytime.

It’s a free/Very cheap site with what is perceived to be Shags at the push of a button.

With it now being in the mainstream, Swinging is no longer naughty or a secret. People are now more open about their own sexuality.

The amount of messages we get where the guy (Mainly young guys) want to meet in an instant without any previous dialogue is increasing every week.

To them it’s like ordering a KFC or Nandos.

Thing is. We have called their bluff and said Yeah! Come over. Amazing how they say they suddenly can’t get. Says it all really lol.

Happy Swinging folks

S&N xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you seen women's and couples profiles these days... ?

Type 'lemon' in the subject so we know you've read the profile

Include a face (even though they don't have one)

Send a cock pic

Don't ever send cock pic

Tell us what you want (even though there's nothing to go on in the profile)

Be original don't copy and paste

We're ok thanks, we've had a nice day, etc... yawn..

Don't send winks

Don't add as friends unless we've spoken..

If you don't say bi on your profile don't bother. If you do say bi dont bother.

Address both of us

Only address him (even though there's no details about him or even what kind of kink dynamic is at play.

If we want a man we'll find you..

Be really single (dont want drama)

Be honest (dont care if you're married or not)

I mean so many rules to comply with is it any wonder many don't bother and just go to clubs where they can let their body and personality sparkle?

"

Look at this from the point of view of the people behind the profiles above there must be a reason for it and there must be about 200 single guy profiles to every 15 couples and maybe 1-2 single females? If and when we would be in the mood to meet an extra guy we would adjust the profile and filters, put a meet up and can get 50-75 messages in one evening most only a few words long not read the profile and half with a Dick picture

It's hard to find the needle in the haystack and we get turned off by it in the end and give up.

Not saying that it's anything you can do but it's like now for most couples and females sadly

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke


"Have you seen women's and couples profiles these days... ?

Type 'lemon' in the subject so we know you've read the profile

Include a face (even though they don't have one)

Send a cock pic

Don't ever send cock pic

Tell us what you want (even though there's nothing to go on in the profile)

Be original don't copy and paste

We're ok thanks, we've had a nice day, etc... yawn..

Don't send winks

Don't add as friends unless we've spoken..

If you don't say bi on your profile don't bother. If you do say bi dont bother.

Address both of us

Only address him (even though there's no details about him or even what kind of kink dynamic is at play.

If we want a man we'll find you..

Be really single (dont want drama)

Be honest (dont care if you're married or not)

I mean so many rules to comply with is it any wonder many don't bother and just go to clubs where they can let their body and personality sparkle?

"

But the problem is most actually don't read the profile . . .

For example . . . the first two lines of our profile read:

|| • • • • • • • • DON'T FRIEND ME UNLESS I HAVE MET YOU • • • • • • • • ||

|| • • • • • • • • • • • • I DON'T LOOK AT WINKS • • • • • • • • • • • • ||

and we currently have 1116 Winks over three months. But I agree meet in a club.

Cat X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nice to know it's not just us. Even as a couple messaging other couples our messages get read and deleted or sometimes not even read at all with so much as a no thanks. Can imagine how some of the guys feel and understand why they put no effort in.

For the record always happy to chat or consider a social if nothing else.

"

Well if someone writes us a nice polite message we are far more likely to reply even if it is a polite "we are so sorry but we don't feel like you are our cup of tea"

No picture it's hard to tell?

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

The trouble is a lot of desperados in wanting and giving it, if your select then your getting at lot of dross messages from singles and couples.

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We're really struggling too!! Could be location. But messages seem to have no thought to them for the most part.

Clubs are fine but fab is becoming hard work

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By *exTexMan
over a year ago

here and there


"

Look at this from the point of view of the people behind the profiles above there must be a reason for it and there must be about 200 single guy profiles to every 15 couples and maybe 1-2 single females? If and when we would be in the mood to meet an extra guy we would adjust the profile and filters, put a meet up and can get 50-75 messages in one evening most only a few words long not read the profile and half with a Dick picture

It's hard to find the needle in the haystack and we get turned off by it in the end and give up.

Not saying that it's anything you can do but it's like now for most couples and females sadly "

I hear ya, I do, but I think it's changed for everyone is my point, and the profiles do little to attract the right sort of attention.

I also think anyone can put what they like and say what they want/don't want, but I imagine that may put off as many as it might attract. It's a lottery.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I hear ya, I do, but I think it's changed for everyone is my point, and the profiles do little to attract the right sort of attention.

"

Erm well in reality of it is it doesn't matter what you put with the amount of single guy's trying to get somewhere you get the wrong sort of attention whatever your profile says unfortunately.

We are only really trying to say think about the content and what it's like in the eyes of the recipient before you send the message to keep it a better environment for everyone that is all

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By *aughtius MaximiusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge


"I find that it's the expectations of a quick shag that's the problem. Too many people join thinking that this is just a hook up site.

Spot on.

I'm close to you, fancy a shag? I'm free now, fancy a shag? I'm in my car passing where you live, fancy wanking me off?

Honestly, that accounts for the vast majority of my messages.

I don't have a solution. I feel the frustration of crafting a beautiful message only to have it deleted unread, I understand why people feel the way they do, but as difficult as it is to engage someone in conversation on here surely putting some effort in will have a higher success rate?

Or maybe there are hordes of women desperate to give handjobs to strangers they've never spoken to, what the hell do I know? "

The solution? Maybe raising the membership price? I’d certainly pay a lot more if it deterred the time wasters.

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

We are new to the... Lifestyle.. So have notbing to compare to.

But as we are in the Southwest.. Can agree that meets don't seem to be particularly easy! So we are trying Secrets for New years and hoping to meet some lovely people there and perhaps stay in contact.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames


" ..... contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone. .....

Amen to that "
totally agree with these sentiments

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We are new to the... Lifestyle.. So have notbing to compare to.

But as we are in the Southwest.. Can agree that meets don't seem to be particularly easy! So we are trying Secrets for New years and hoping to meet some lovely people there and perhaps stay in contact. "

Secrets is a brilliant club probably best in the area and a very good option we have been lot's in the past.

Can get very busy so top tip if it is your first time is get there early before its packed its far easier than walking in to a room full

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"We are new to the... Lifestyle.. So have notbing to compare to.

But as we are in the Southwest.. Can agree that meets don't seem to be particularly easy! So we are trying Secrets for New years and hoping to meet some lovely people there and perhaps stay in contact.

Secrets is a brilliant club probably best in the area and a very good option we have been lot's in the past.

Can get very busy so top tip if it is your first time is get there early before its packed its far easier than walking in to a room full "

Secrets gets mega busy on NYE!! Last year C and I had never ever done any swinging at all. We had heard of secrets so though why now let's try NYE. It was busy!! People thought we were mad jump9ng in at the deep end... we had a great time!! 7 person orgy to gently break us in to swinging hehehe.

Do get there early though it gets packed on NYE the queue to the bar is mad as well!!

We stayed in a hotel off site just in case we needed to escape. But they do offer caravans which is where we always stay now (if you want one I'd book quick). We're booked in for NYE as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can totally understand where you are coming from with this xx

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By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley

I think the solution would be to stop us single guys from messaging first. Women and couples would be able to see who they are potentially interested in without being bombarded with dross. Those men who spend time on a decent message for it to always be ignored wouldn’t have to spend ages writing them. And the men who write, ‘let’s fuck now’ messages won’t be ruining it for everyone else!

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"I think the solution would be to stop us single guys from messaging first. Women and couples would be able to see who they are potentially interested in without being bombarded with dross. Those men who spend time on a decent message for it to always be ignored wouldn’t have to spend ages writing them. And the men who write, ‘let’s fuck now’ messages won’t be ruining it for everyone else! "

See we would always reply to a well thought out message. Even if it was so say sorry you're not what we're looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we both have a good few years experience on here together and apart (we actually met in a swinger club with some additional persuasion of friends) he has had about 5 years experience (60+ verifications) as a single gent and I have 2 or more years on here.

Both had a few profiles in the past and to be honest this one is a bit jokey with the hope that someone actually reads it at least? pmsl

Must admit that we are both are missing the art of things of late.

We are both reasonably social creatures and definitely don't have any trouble attracting people in clubs but online seems to be a real of a chore

Let us just say we have been getting lots of mail and just as many unsolicited friends invites but what ever happened to a polite or funny short message and a face or reasonable arty/sexy picture? after all isn't the game of it to inspire and attract, strike up a conversation and go from there? We even say all the time "how the hell am I supposed to write a reply to that?" or its all few words and pictures that are genitals, a bit crude or just plain lazy.

Yet it seems odd that people can write a nice polite message asking what a club is like?

We understand that the southwest where we are isn't exactly a hive of swingers (millions single guy's as usual PMSL) but it's a real struggle for us to get inspired to meet new people

What's happened to the art of things we have definitely noticed that alot of people we used to know have got fed up with fab and left or tend to network separately offline in smaller groups.

Now let us be clear we are not having a rant but if we all put a bit of the "art" back into contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone.

Happy swinging everyone let us all put the fab back into fab and make it a better place for everyone

Vixen and Teddington x

Sits back cringing waiting for the abuse and spelling corrections as in other posts PMSL"

Used to have on profile/status "send a message, make it interesting or imaginative" never received one, got many unsolicited friend requests, "do you want to meet", "do you want to fuck" or "can we see your pictures".

Imaginative, interesting nah seems to be beyond people these days on these sites. Hey ho

messaging it is a lost "ART"

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We’re both relatively new to the scene, but we’ve found that the best decisions we’ve made in the last nine months have been to block single men from contacting us (GG runs our the account and her inbox was getting flooded), and to stop looking for potential meetups on here. Now we just go to clubs when we get the urge, and use this as a social site where we can chat on the forum and get in touch with people attending the same nights as us. Once we stopped treating it like a dating site it became far more enjoyable.

Also, we have a policy about not interacting with people whose profile is all - or majority - close-up genital or penetration shots. We just find it tacky and unnecessary.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Online really is for singles now. Just look at the most prevalent posters in the lounge. We just use fab to keep in contact with people we've met in clubs, and something to do im moments of boredom/ toilet breaks...

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

When you live the ass end of beyond with no clubs it's super difficult!! Our nearest proper scene is 50 ish miles away and nearly always requires an overnight stay.

When weve been away and in the area of a club we havent found them terribly brilliant either!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Also, we have a policy about not interacting with people whose profile is all - or majority - close-up genital or penetration shots. We just find it tacky and unnecessary."

Well we would say that the ART extends into the photographic and profile text content too

As for clubs down here in the southwest there isn't meny good ones other than secrets within an hours drive of us and past that one there is nothing Plymouth, Cornwall and North Devon you see alot of the same face's.

There is plenty of people who won't go to a club and sometimes we feel that it would be nice to meet new people and just do something a little bit more simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Also, we have a policy about not interacting with people whose profile is all - or majority - close-up genital or penetration shots. We just find it tacky and unnecessary.

Well we would say that the ART extends into the photographic and profile text content too

As for clubs down here in the southwest there isn't meny good ones other than secrets within an hours drive of us and past that one there is nothing Plymouth, Cornwall and North Devon you see alot of the same face's.

There is plenty of people who won't go to a club and sometimes we feel that it would be nice to meet new people and just do something a little bit more simple "

Been in other posts and in our profile, yes it is hidden that's simply because we are no longer actively looking. But some of our best times recently have been in south west, converted van, kayaks and paddle boards, sitting round bbq warm evening few beers/having a laugh nude swimming (night) and if things happen cool but not mission. Probably as simple as it gets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to remember that in years gone by we were always told to re-read any written work before submitting it.

Perhaps this strategy could do with reinventing?

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

[Removed by poster at 07/12/19 06:12:53]

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

I remember the good old days of fab at its peak before the hordes discovered the internet and ruined such a reliable method of getting to meet wonderful people I just wonder where they went I expect ill get the usual response

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By *ature M biMan
over a year ago

richmond

It all seems to be a manifestation of the instant gratification society in which we find ourselves. What a pity relationships and friendships have been reduced to the level of a take-away pizza half of which will probably be thrown over somebody’s garden wall when no longer of interest.

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By *ature M biMan
over a year ago

richmond

[Removed by poster at 07/12/19 07:30:29]

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By *ature M biMan
over a year ago

richmond


"I seem to remember that in years gone by we were always told to re-read any written work before submitting it.

Perhaps this strategy could do with reinventing?"

And have an idea of what you wanted to say before putting pen to paper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, you do realise with a hidden profile, you aren’t giving people much to go on for a first message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" ..... contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone. .....

Amen to that

Glad it's not just me feeling this way, beginning to feel like a whore for sale "

Ditto... plus theres the comment I can pay for your taxis. 21st century here and I can drive even when its dark and pay for my own taxi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good post, op.

Fab has definitely changed from when we were first here years ago. Back then it was common to receive tailored messages of a couple of paragraphs or more (I know, paragraphs, what a concept!). Now it's rare to receive any of more than a line in length. Rarer still to get one that actually references our profile.

As for the forums, well they're dominated by a zillion single males competing for the attention of a handful of females (David Attenborough would love it).

As the op might ask, where's the art in that?

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We were saying exactly this a few days back..we like you have the same sort of Bio. Although a few more years and veris.

Swinging is / was a lifestyle. Back in the day there was an etticate, and it was all about lifestlye. Fastforward, to now, any idiot who has internet can think and call themselves a swinger. They get themself an account, and exspect " dial a shag". Yes it's a sex site, however it's a " lifestyle sex site".

Old school swingers are, once you have the bug, your in it for life. Not, "I'm single, I'll shag around on here till the next gf comes along". Same thoughts for men / woman, who are here behind someones back.

Swinging is a lifestyle. I think it's become so dilited now it'a so easy on the web. Faceless, and easy to back out.

We're old school swingers. We meet, we play, no dramas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good post, op.

Fab has definitely changed from when we were first here years ago. Back then it was common to receive tailored messages of a couple of paragraphs or more (I know, paragraphs, what a concept!). Now it's rare to receive any of more than a line in length. Rarer still to get one that actually references our profile.

As for the forums, well they're dominated by a zillion single males competing for the attention of a handful of females (David Attenborough would love it).

As the op might ask, where's the art in that?"
ahhhh well all my messages reference the profile and have sentences and include pics but i as a guy understand why many guys dont put much, they send well crafted messages and get no reply so then start sending smaller more to the point messages still receiving no reply

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

Here’s an idea: -

Stop being vile and dismissive of those who do make an effort and be vile to those who don’t.

This approach is suggested in preference to being vile and dismissive to everyone.

If someone has made an effort, but you’re not keen, tell them that with perhaps a reason or two. Be nice to them.

Don’t give one word answers to decent messages.

You then might just encourage the decent people and discourage the indecent people.

Just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Op, you do realise with a hidden profile, you aren’t giving people much to go on for a first message? "

Yes hidden it, we have been getting a bit depressed from a few of the fab aspects, kick back from this , rudeness and so on.

Kind of feeling like giving up, throwing the town in and seeing if we can find a nicer place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op, you do realise with a hidden profile, you aren’t giving people much to go on for a first message?

Yes hidden it, we have been getting a bit depressed from a few of the fab aspects, kick back from this , rudeness and so on.

Kind of feeling like giving up, throwing the town in and seeing if we can find a nicer place "
ok i always think throwing the town in was related to charles atlas

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" throwing the town in was related to charles atlas "

Ment towel phone decided that it was a better world then I couldn't go back and edit it - epic fail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The number of poor messages we get can be a headache, took us 20 minutes this morning just to get rid of the dross where no real attempt to engage was taken!

We don't have very high expectations from using the site now and prefer to use fab as a place to find out who is going to clubs and keep in touch with people we have met at clubs/parties.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Can’t see you profile but the art of conversation seems to have died. I do like a first message that grabs my attention. I do enjoy a social and I organise a weekly social at a pub quiz to exercise the little grey cells.

I actually do quite a few cultural things with a fellow Fabber and I’m off to the concert hall tonight. It’s not all about playing and it’s good to find people with the same interests for social outings.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I try and be artful in both my pictures and my messages, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, such is life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is what puts me off of meeting...i just seem to be a walking vagina and men dont give a toss about trying to get to know you. get a convo flowing with a guy on here is hard work..well i think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" throwing the town in was related to charles atlas

Ment towel phone decided that it was a better world then I couldn't go back and edit it - epic fail "
it is a better world with you in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have people forgotten the art of writing? Is it simply an exercise in futility when your handcrafted message goes unread? Or maybe that it's quicker to send a hundred "fancy a shag?" messages and hope someone bites.

It's a frustration for us as a couple, and with Marie having a single ladies account we get it in duplicate. There is a large contingent that consider Fab to be nothing more than a means to an end; a place to get their own end away. If only they could combine it with Deliveroo then they'd never have to put any effort into it and simply get pussy delivered when they've an erection.

We love to write a long message taking into account every idiosyncratic item mentioned on someone's profile; trying to make the person on the other end of the communication laugh or smile, gently attempting to establish a connection between us - one that would make an eventual meet, should it happen, all that more powerful and electrifying for us all.

So many profiles say a sentence along the lines of "we're all here for the same thing". But that thing we're all here for is so multi-faceted, so nuanced, that to try and encapsulate it all in "hi" or "I've just parked my truck near you" could never unlock the delights hidden within.

Like the OPs well constructed piece itself, a good piece of writing such as an eloquent message will always make us stop and look at a profile. Similarly a profile that displays effort will make us want to make contact.

Here's raising a glass to the few fabbers whom like us are enchanted by this lost art.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Here’s an idea: -

Stop being vile and dismissive of those who do make an effort and be vile to those who don’t.

This approach is suggested in preference to being vile and dismissive to everyone.

If someone has made an effort, but you’re not keen, tell them that with perhaps a reason or two. Be nice to them.

Don’t give one word answers to decent messages.

You then might just encourage the decent people and discourage the indecent people.

Just a thought. "

A idea Mark but even the author of a well crafted message can turn into a "she's a fat slag and I wouldn't want to fuck her anyway" merchant when they are turned down.

Why people want an inbox full of rejection slips I don't know.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

A *nice* idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it quite interesting that the Art is diminishing in use. You can get a reasonably good measure of people from the messages exchanged over time. I guess the modern way of living where many are time pressured may be part of the problem resulting in quick fire short messages. Well constructed and crafted messages do attract my attention and the follow on dialogue does influence my judgement.

There is an adage that effort in leads to good results ... worth a thought.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

The Art of The Art of Swinging

A Bluffer's Guide

1) black and white photo, women in lingerie, men using white satin sheet to cover their genitald whilst revealing half a groin.

2) no selfies - gives the impression you were with someone and thus desired and so desirable.

3) messages should balance formal and informal language.

4) wit and wry humour over broad bodily humour.

5) Messages should be exchanged daily and an ongoing narrative should be developed. This may be alkng fantasy lines and should involve mild sexual teasing

6) meets should be arranged on a social basis with the possibility of more. A drink in a nice bar where most males are in blazers and brogues and the women smell like they were in a Lush bath bomb terror attack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it quite interesting that the Art is diminishing in use. You can get a reasonably good measure of people from the messages exchanged over time. I guess the modern way of living where many are time pressured may be part of the problem resulting in quick fire short messages. Well constructed and crafted messages do attract my attention and the follow on dialogue does influence my judgement.

There is an adage that effort in leads to good results ... worth a thought."

Well crafted message can reveal a lot about a person, but also say more than they intended it to. Both positive or negative

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

Isn’t this all about having fun? I don’t see the point in firing off swarms of “anyone fancy a shag” mails into the ether and never getting a reply. I try (and mostly fail) to at least be entertaining (and sometimes go as far as reading the profile) and find the possible interaction with like minded folk tremendously exciting. Yep another Art lover here.

Strangely I don’t mind receiving “anyone fancy a shag” mails,if it breaks the ice, who am I to be picky


"Well we both have a good few years experience on here together and apart (we actually met in a swinger club with some additional persuasion of friends) he has had about 5 years experience (60+ verifications) as a single gent and I have 2 or more years on here.

Both had a few profiles in the past and to be honest this one is a bit jokey with the hope that someone actually reads it at least? pmsl

Must admit that we are both are missing the art of things of late.

We are both reasonably social creatures and definitely don't have any trouble attracting people in clubs but online seems to be a real of a chore

Let us just say we have been getting lots of mail and just as many unsolicited friends invites but what ever happened to a polite or funny short message and a face or reasonable arty/sexy picture? after all isn't the game of it to inspire and attract, strike up a conversation and go from there? We even say all the time "how the hell am I supposed to write a reply to that?" or its all few words and pictures that are genitals, a bit crude or just plain lazy.

Yet it seems odd that people can write a nice polite message asking what a club is like?

We understand that the southwest where we are isn't exactly a hive of swingers (millions single guy's as usual PMSL) but it's a real struggle for us to get inspired to meet new people

What's happened to the art of things we have definitely noticed that alot of people we used to know have got fed up with fab and left or tend to network separately offline in smaller groups.

Now let us be clear we are not having a rant but if we all put a bit of the "art" back into contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone.

Happy swinging everyone let us all put the fab back into fab and make it a better place for everyone

Vixen and Teddington x

Sits back cringing waiting for the abuse and spelling corrections as in other posts PMSL"

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

Oh yes


"Have people forgotten the art of writing? Is it simply an exercise in futility when your handcrafted message goes unread? Or maybe that it's quicker to send a hundred "fancy a shag?" messages and hope someone bites.

It's a frustration for us as a couple, and with Marie having a single ladies account we get it in duplicate. There is a large contingent that consider Fab to be nothing more than a means to an end; a place to get their own end away. If only they could combine it with Deliveroo then they'd never have to put any effort into it and simply get pussy delivered when they've an erection.

We love to write a long message taking into account every idiosyncratic item mentioned on someone's profile; trying to make the person on the other end of the communication laugh or smile, gently attempting to establish a connection between us - one that would make an eventual meet, should it happen, all that more powerful and electrifying for us all.

So many profiles say a sentence along the lines of "we're all here for the same thing". But that thing we're all here for is so multi-faceted, so nuanced, that to try and encapsulate it all in "hi" or "I've just parked my truck near you" could never unlock the delights hidden within.

Like the OPs well constructed piece itself, a good piece of writing such as an eloquent message will always make us stop and look at a profile. Similarly a profile that displays effort will make us want to make contact.

Here's raising a glass to the few fabbers whom like us are enchanted by this lost art."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we both have a good few years experience on here together and apart (we actually met in a swinger club with some additional persuasion of friends) he has had about 5 years experience (60+ verifications) as a single gent and I have 2 or more years on here.

Both had a few profiles in the past and to be honest this one is a bit jokey with the hope that someone actually reads it at least? pmsl

Must admit that we are both are missing the art of things of late.

We are both reasonably social creatures and definitely don't have any trouble attracting people in clubs but online seems to be a real of a chore

Let us just say we have been getting lots of mail and just as many unsolicited friends invites but what ever happened to a polite or funny short message and a face or reasonable arty/sexy picture? after all isn't the game of it to inspire and attract, strike up a conversation and go from there? We even say all the time "how the hell am I supposed to write a reply to that?" or its all few words and pictures that are genitals, a bit crude or just plain lazy.

Yet it seems odd that people can write a nice polite message asking what a club is like?

We understand that the southwest where we are isn't exactly a hive of swingers (millions single guy's as usual PMSL) but it's a real struggle for us to get inspired to meet new people

What's happened to the art of things we have definitely noticed that alot of people we used to know have got fed up with fab and left or tend to network separately offline in smaller groups.

Now let us be clear we are not having a rant but if we all put a bit of the "art" back into contacting someone new, imagine that there's a real person/people receiving it and how they might take and reply to it we sure that it might just be a better place for everyone.

Happy swinging everyone let us all put the fab back into fab and make it a better place for everyone

Vixen and Teddington x

Sits back cringing waiting for the abuse and spelling corrections as in other posts PMSL"

Your post is exactly what my inbox is like.

The whole art and execution of delivery in a message to inspire, catch interest, offer inspiration and tease has completely gone!

Now it’s just full of dull vulgar people thinking they are being all naughty and horny. It’s so dull. I’m actually considering quitting fab now as quite frankly it’s making me want to spoon my eyes out with a rusty spoon!

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Pleased it's not just us. We seem to be struggling to attract genuine people. Conversation seems to be too difficult for some people which is frustrating.

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