FabSwingers.com forum: Loneliness

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

I found going out for walks in country side helped me.

Setting small goals each day, like making sure I spoke to at least one person face to face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t offer advice, but I wanted to send you a big hug. That really sucks. Xx

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Good to get out of the house, if not only for some fresh air and order a coffee. You can always strike up a conversation whilst there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My ex will be dropping our four dogs to me to look after later so I’ll enjoy a good walk with them and playing too.

But then they’ll be gone again and the house will go back to feeling incredibly empty.

I have music on all the time but it’s not especially helping.

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By *igjim69Man
over a year ago

scunthorpe

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "
grt a dog and go out for walks xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coming to acceptance can ease it....but it's not easy. I try to remember that I'm not alone because the best company I have is me. This is easy to forget when I'm looking to the outside. We're human first and were designed for relationship we function better when we are relating to another.

You did the right thing to get out of the house to break the isolation and dogs are great companions. Spending time in nature, outdoors helps to ground me and remind me that I'm part of something bigger, paying attention to the smallest things that I would otherwise take for granted helps to.

You are not alone and you are loved xx

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

Loneliness is as much a state of mind as just being alone. It’s possible to be lonely when surrounded by people and also totally happy with solitude. The lack of social interaction can have negative impacts upon your feelings of ‘self worth’ and lead to depression. My recommendation is to take it slowly and not to force it. Perhaps look at volunteering for a charity, which has the added bonus of upping your esteem. There are also online peer support communities and face-to-face befriended services run by charities, which if successful you can join to pass on the good work. Either way, being positive and doing positive things, no matter how small will always help. Good luck and best wishes with your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat on here.. Live rural n hardly see a soul.. Friends are all married.

I plan little tasks or jobs to do.. But no rush to do them.

Always try and get out daily.

You are not alone on here

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I know exactly how that feels and it’s so hard .

When I’ve been like that and in the darkest of places it is forcing myself to get out and do just what others have said .

Walking , doing what you said and going to chill and have a coffee somewhere .

The gym or just buying an inspiring book and reading it somewhere other than home .

It’s hard to work on it and wait for that feeling to pass as it feels like forever but I learned to try to notice the small things and take comfort from them .

Actually loneliness is so mis understood as a person can be lonely at any stage of life and whether you are alone or not .

I remember that feeling when I was a young mother and it was crushing .

I also think that age and hormones can exacerbate this .

I’m the same age as you and I know that hormonal changes can make it feel worse when you’re like this and hrt ( gels ) do help a bit xx

You’re not alone x

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By *xpatadventurerMan
over a year ago

Work Abroad / London

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Loneliness is a big horrible, crushing monster if you let it be. I know the feeling all to well after my wife died.

I walked and walked through beautiful countryside sometimes twice a day. Do try it and the monster will go I can assure you. Sounds crazy but used to talk to a herd of cows in the feild behind my cottage....Still laugh about it 15 years later !

Take care of the soul lovely R xxx

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I’m so sorry to read your post, and I hope that this feeling starts to lift soon.

When I’ve been in a bad place emotionally I’ve started fitness classes where you work in teams - it really helped in terms of getting me out of the house, meeting new people, and looking after my body at a time where it’s potentially easy to spiral. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some very thoughtful suggestions so far, thank you.

I’ve always been very outgoing, think ‘tigger’, and the eternal optimist, but I’ve been kicked so many times recently I’m just in a hole at the moment.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Small steps.

It's a horrible feeling but you arent alone. If you need to chat or offload then please just send me a message xxx

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By *hMyGawdCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Good diet

Excercise

Time outdoors

Pamper yourself

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I think loneliness has always been apart of my life,I generally go for a walk just to remind myself that I am actually in the human race and not dead yet.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

check out your local area for group actives or sign up for some adult education courses meeting new people and getting out and about in your local community may help and expand your social group

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My ex was always the one at home. I was the one doing 70 hrs a week. As a result it seems I’m the outsider around here now I’m home full time.

I’ve so much work to do on the house and a deadline to have it done but can I do it? Not at the moment, no.

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By *ackinabox19Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Try thinking about taking on a hobby even though you might not be feeling up it at the moment, it would introduce you to a new circle of people and fill some time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you just need a good fucking cry.

Sometimes you just need to be down in the dumps.

Sometimes, you gotta feel sorry for yourself because hey - no one cares for you as much as you do. (There is wisdom behind that statement, breathe it in and let it guide you.)

Point is, you see what it is and want to combat it. You already know you have fight in you. Let it happen, knowing you already made plans to get out of it. And you will. You can.

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house.

Loneliness is a big horrible, crushing monster if you let it be. I know the feeling all to well after my wife died.

Take care of the soul lovely R xxx"

Lol me too x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Google loneliness support somerset and you'll find a couple of groups who might help.

Other than that it might be time to rekindle and old hobby, interest and join a group.

Go to the library to read books, you might actually be on your own but there's life, talking and you're in the company of other people and even the odd smile helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww Rachel X

So sorry to hear this. Dark days don't last forever. Wishing you brighter days ahead. I know it doesn't combat the physical loneliness but I found certain members of Fab (along with a monumental effort from Peach) helped me cling on untill the brighter days returned. You are not alone and much loved

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Awww Rachel X

Fuzz"

Hugs required at the social please xx

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon

Maybe try meetup.com. It’s a site for people to meet other people and do stuff. It’s not dating or sexual, it could simply be a few people who want to go for a meal or visit the cinema together... things like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "
Big hugs sent to you love xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending a big hug xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Awww Rachel X

Fuzz

Hugs required at the social please xx"

We'll bring our biggest and best one's, and hair strokes and kisses too.

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this OP and totally understand the feeling. I belong to the RSPB and whenever I visit a nature reserve there are always likeminded people to talk to. After a good walk enjoying the sights and sounds of the birds on the reserve, and chat over coffee with visitor centre volunteers, by the time I get home I feel calmer and happier.

I really hope you feel better soon and take care x

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By *alvenieMan
over a year ago

Bouncing Between Swindon and Weston

I echo what everybody else has said. One thing that has helped me get out of a rut was jogging/running.

I never classed myself as a runner, always last at school etc.

The endorphins released during and after a run bring a certain smugness to my wellbeing and cheer me up.

parkrun is very good way of getting into running and has a very good understanding of why people are running and they don't care if you can run 5km at a world record pace or take an hour to do it.

Hope you feel better soon xx

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

In times in my life when I've felt isolated or lonely I walked and walked and walked some more in nature. Felt my place in the grand scheme of things .... and then told the cashier waaay too much.

Sending much love x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't really offer advice because my situation is the same .my youngest child moved out a month ago so now I'm totally alone in the house, some days are okay but some days I'm so down and lonely I just cry constantly thinking of all the things that seem lost to me now , I know my hormones are a lot to do with it and i tried HRT but didn't like it ..I think I need to get used to being alone and I imagine that will come in time .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you try having a look on meetup.com to see if there is anything happening near you? It's a website where people host social events and anyone interested in the theme/subject is welcome. I use it to go to a lot of tech talks and general networking but they do things like social mixers and drinks, book clubs, pub lunches etc. It's a great way of meeting new people and getting out of the house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe try meetup.com. It’s a site for people to meet other people and do stuff. It’s not dating or sexual, it could simply be a few people who want to go for a meal or visit the cinema together... things like that.

Sorry didn't see you'd already recommended. But I definitely second this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

I’m quite sad to see this. I’ve “ watched” you for years ( sounds a bit weird that) on Fab and I think you’re quite remarkable if I’m honest.

Big hugs!

Gemma.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Is there any one you can call to talk to

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By *iberty RedWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment OP, I'm glad you were proactive yesterday & got out.

When I'm feeling like this I go for a walk, phone family or a friend or tackle a household job that I've been putting off doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is sad to see you feeling like this.

I have had some personal issues the last two years and dread to think how I would have coped without some close friends stepping up.

You have a big beautiful smile. Use it and start connecting with people. It may not resolve all your problems but it is a good place to start.

I found some people said things that picked me up and kept me going even though they did not know it at the time.

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By *embudWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

Totally agree, it's all about acceptance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve been reading all these posts and taking in what everyone has said and I thank you all for the time taken to write here and privately.

My dogs are here now so I’ve showered and I’ll take them out for a favourite woodland walk now. Xxx

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I’ve been reading all these posts and taking in what everyone has said and I thank you all for the time taken to write here and privately.

My dogs are here now so I’ve showered and I’ll take them out for a favourite woodland walk now. Xxx

Have a nice time on your walk xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A big part of loneliness is boredom. Your mind will tend to wander to dark places if you're not in a good space. Keep yourself busy, it'll keep your mind occupied and you won't find yourself getting depressed. It's what I do, at least.

I'd recommend a gym membership. It's social activity, it gets you out of the house, you get a nice workout and it's proven to help with mental health as much as physical health.

The other thing to do is to find the root cause. Figuring out why you're lonely and what you can do to fix it.

As for the actual loneliness? I'm sure you could make a ton of new friends on here, there'll be plenty willing to hang out with you. Might not be what you're after though.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My ex will be dropping our four dogs to me to look after later so I’ll enjoy a good walk with them and playing too.

But then they’ll be gone again and the house will go back to feeling incredibly empty.

I have music on all the time but it’s not especially helping. "

If someone had looked through my dining room window, Christmas 2002 they would probably have envied the happy family scene in front of them: mummy, daddy, kids all dressed up and tucking into a feast.

That was the loneliest day of my life. I was putting on an act for the kids as I knew it would be our last family Christmas as I was leaving.

I was on my own with my kids for nearly 10 years and I wasn't lonely once. I developed my own interest and enjoyed my own company, even went on holiday by myself.

My point is don't rely on other people to entertain you/fill a void. People should enhance your life not be the reason for being. Once you enjoy being with you you'll wonder why you'd made a fuss.

Good luck.

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By *embudWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

"Some very thoughtful suggestions so far, thank you.

I’ve always been very outgoing, think ‘tigger’, and the eternal optimist, but I’ve been kicked so many times recently I’m just in a hole at the moment. "

"At the moment" is exactly it. Being able to come on this forum, proves you're not alone. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A big part of loneliness is boredom. Your mind will tend to wander to dark places if you're not in a good space. Keep yourself busy, it'll keep your mind occupied and you won't find yourself getting depressed. It's what I do, at least.

I'd recommend a gym membership. It's social activity, it gets you out of the house, you get a nice workout and it's proven to help with mental health as much as physical health.

The other thing to do is to find the root cause. Figuring out why you're lonely and what you can do to fix it.

As for the actual loneliness? I'm sure you could make a ton of new friends on here, there'll be plenty willing to hang out with you. Might not be what you're after though."

This is good advice.

Right now you need to look after yourself.

All these posts have your wellbeing at heart.

Just ensure you are not taken advantage of when you are feeling down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex was always the one at home. I was the one doing 70 hrs a week. As a result it seems I’m the outsider around here now I’m home full time.

I’ve so much work to do on the house and a deadline to have it done but can I do it? Not at the moment, no. "

When I have an overwhelming amount to do, the only solution is to break it down into manageable chunks. Even if that first step is literally get up, have some breakfast, that is one small achievement. Then you move onto the next. Trying to tackle the whole big picture at once can be far too daunting so celebrate each small step.

And it will get better. Remember, you're a Tigger at heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes even those not alone are alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any body lonely are more than welcome to stay with us.Diverse topics of conversation always appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am recently divorced. Moved to the UK last year after getting separated. Living alone now. I can empathise with you. Coming from tropical climate, I found the UK climate very depressing. But slowly I adapted myself to avoid loneliness.

One change I made is to avoid being at home as much as possible. Morning, I hit the gym and then go to work. I come back home straight after work only 1 or 2 days a week. I do something or the other after work. I like astronomy. I joined a couple of clubs in London who have meetings twice a month. I talked to some people there whom I meet some days for dinner or lunch. I go to meetups based on my interests. I know it can be awkward at first. But eventually you will get a hang of it. You can make friends there. In most cases, these are not friends you get much close with. But as they obviously share a common hobby or interest with you, it is easy for you to socialise with them. You can eventually form a circle of friends whom you can meet for dinner or drink to pass time. I promise you many people who come there are looking for company and will be more than happy to spend time talking.

Outside of this, it helps to have a friend or family member who you can talk with, anytime you want.

Doing all this will keeps me going. Meanwhile, I am looking to find a long term partner. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling alone is terrible, since wife passed away nearly three years ago, I sit and cry myself to sleep most nights. I put on a big brave face to the outside world smiling and laughing helping others with their issues but block my own feelings out.

What I wouldn't do just to be cuddled up to someone on the settee or in bed doesn't even have to involve sex just a cuddle would do.

I have sat at bottom of garden with a bottle of whisky and paracetamol but the thought of my gorgeous grandaughter stopped me doing it.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

"I’ve been reading all these posts and taking in what everyone has said and I thank you all for the time taken to write here and privately.

My dogs are here now so I’ve showered and I’ll take them out for a favourite woodland walk now. Xxx

Your too nice a woman to be alone love dogs are good but you need conversations with other people too we all here for you girl xx Everyone gets in a slump but you just need to find yourself again

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By *urplequeenWoman
over a year ago

Fife

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Im in this place at the moment too and really struggling to pick myself up right now. Reading all the stuff here and some good advice. Just really wondering where my place is in life as feeling pretty worthless x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Voluntary work.

Look online, it's not just charity shops.

Hug of support to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone.

I promise I’ve read every post and, once again, the members of fab warm my heart.

Today, post my walk with my dogs, I woke alone again and the house felt cold.

I’d written a list to do today so I got up and put on a nice outfit complete with some new ankle boots and felt I looked good.

Headed out and did all my out and about jobs. I’ve made a few important phone calls organising stuff for the coming weeks.

When I was out I treated myself to a new charm for my bracelet. It’s engraved “good things are on the horizon”.

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By *oonloverWoman
over a year ago

bognor regis

I am feeling this at mo and signed off work - feeling the walls closing in

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By *iglittleoneMan
over a year ago

B76 is home

You could be worse as you are seem able bodied and have no problems mentally so just have to snap out of it and enjoy the rest of your life.

Why don't you go to a club or join a dating site and go out on a few dates?

Also if your friends are real friends talk to them and no doubt they will have you over or go out with you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yep. Just need to snap out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish there was a generic answer to this.

It’s all trial and error unfortunately

Hope you feel better soon though

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By *ressed4fun03TV/TS
over a year ago

Midlands

I tend to get all dressed up sexy and go for a drive.

Wouldnt say i get lonely, just bored sometimes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you feel better soon..try to spend time with friends or family. Im sure you have some..if not meet friends from here but just for a coffee and chat.

You can also volunteer with charities to spend time with people and help others at the same time.

Best of luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get some fresh air, talk to someone.. it doesnt have to be about anything inpaticular just sometimes having a bit banter squares my head away. If you wanylt a chat feel free to pm me. No funny buisness tho im not that kinda guy haha

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

"Yep. Just need to snap out of it.

And you will i was exactly where you are now a while back now i found two lovely girls who i adore and me in return xx It can and will happen for you too xx Have a damn good man to look after you in everyway and having a tall gf myself your definitely attractive too any man would love to have you on his arm

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By *exy4youxxWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract

"My ex will be dropping our four dogs to me to look after later so I’ll enjoy a good walk with them and playing too.

But then they’ll be gone again and the house will go back to feeling incredibly empty.

I have music on all the time but it’s not especially helping.

That was the loneliest day of my life. I was putting on an act for the kids as I knew it would be our last family Christmas as I was leaving.

I was on my own with my kids for nearly 10 years and I wasn't lonely once. I developed my own interest and enjoyed my own company, even went on holiday by myself.

My point is don't rely on other people to entertain you/fill a void. People should enhance your life not be the reason for being. Once you enjoy being with you you'll wonder why you'd made a fuss.

Good luck."

Loved your point on not relying on others I thought I had friends till they stabbed me in the back now I'm happy with just me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where you are coming from. I too have been to that dark place and still there a bit. The worst I found was being in the house alone of and evening, with four walls and a tv for company. When I have my daughter's over for a few weekends a month ,it helps a great deal to break the silence and loneliness. I perhaps like most just put myself into my work to avoid being on your own for that long period of time,but now the winter nights are here it makes it harder. Now it's just early nights. Feel free to pm if you want a friendly chat.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Live on my own but certainly do not like it..... Lonely at times....

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I would say find a really good friend. A good cup of tea and a nice long chat. I hope you get better soon. A very big virtual hug for me if that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex was always the one at home. I was the one doing 70 hrs a week. As a result it seems I’m the outsider around here now I’m home full time.

I’ve so much work to do on the house and a deadline to have it done but can I do it? Not at the moment, no. "

Have you given up work? Could you treat your house as though it's a 'job for a customer' and project manage it so you get it done to the timeline? Might keep you busy sorting the times and tasks out. You will also have a sense of achievement ticking things off your list as they get finished.

Hugs to you OP, and also for the other people who have posted feeling lonely. Xx

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By *uffnmuffCouple
over a year ago

London

Online webcam chat rooms helped me years ago. And I made some friends for life on there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Online webcam chat rooms helped me years ago. And I made some friends for life on there. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe consider doing some volunteer work at a charity shop? Go speak to your Gp about how you feel. That’s a massive step but the best one. I’ve been there the loneliness is dreadful. Please get out and about speaking to others. Big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Mr here. I joined a gym with a spa when I was living alone and single, went 3 nights a week and got really fit in the process, definitely helped me through some difficult times. It'll come good, it always does.

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By *rad_ell12Man
over a year ago

Brighouse

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Unfortunatly there isn't a one size fits all, keeping yourself occupied with things you love doing and talking about it is the first step, my biggest peice of advice, I suffer with depression and use anti deptessants daily, is to find someone to talk to about it, whether that be a stranger on the internet or a close person, for me its always someone who knows me and understands how I work, that was my ex fiance, but not im single I am finding it tricky myself, but aslong as you talk, people eill listen and offer help, keep on chipping away, and don't stop!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no snapping out of it, I don't find that a helpful suggestion.

I feel for you, it's something I wrestle with too

But instead of fighting it I have grown to embrace it and the peace solitude can bring rather than spending forced time with people I don't enjoy the company of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is no snapping out of it, I don't find that a helpful suggestion.

I feel for you, it's something I wrestle with too

But instead of fighting it I have grown to embrace it and the peace solitude can bring rather than spending forced time with people I don't enjoy the company of

I agree; There is no snapping out of mental health issues.

Today was a better day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got into this a bit late. I hope you are feeling ok. You are looking incredible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you are struggling but glad you have had a better day today! I have had downers and still have them too, but close family and friends are only phone call away. I will also recommend meetup.com as something to try. Exercise, diet and doing small things. It is hard and I struggle to and completely get it. *Big hugs* You are not alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

I don't see it as a case of combatting it; immediately that puts you in a place where you'll always feel it as jarring.

Try and see it as a transient feeling? Peaks and troughs can be traversed.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have 2 dogs who get 3 walks daily come rain or shine. I would be lost without them but if i had alot of spare time i would do voluntary work either in a charity shop or hospice.

Try plan your days ahead and try and keep busy.x

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By *Jones19Man
over a year ago

Evesham, Worcester, Pershore

Friends and drink... but both can cause further loneliness when not used in the correct dosages. Lol.

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By *illyDudeMan
over a year ago

norh east

Two Thing. If I want people but don't want to be out. Online gaming. The friends and social side I've had years of friendship

And if I want to be with people. Pubs or go to a swingers club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to the loneliness so much having been single myself for years.

Most of my friends are married with kids so nights out are very rare.

I have had the odd fling through dating apps but it soon fizzles out and then you go back to square one.

I would appreciate any advice and will try and take on board the advice already posted on here.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Rachel.

I know how you feel, I've been there.

I suffered from chronic shyness in my teen years which extended through into my working life. I was always the wallflower at parties, would've run a mile if a girl even looked at me etc etc.

But I found my work was my salvation. Through that, I got to know contacts in business areas and ended up doing Charity Work at intervals.

One type was working with the RNIB. Obviously, certain sports or activities were out of bounds, so I joined a Tandem Cycling club. It got me fit, but also led me to develop social skills with people who didn't judge me, but who accepted me for who I am.

Charity work has featured in my life; I still work as a member of Lions Club International doing work for local vulnerable people and causes.

I know it's been difficult at times for me; taking that first step was terrifying but I had to do it.

I've also found who my few but REAL friends are & they make a difference.

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By *ewelsssWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

hugs Rachel I know the feeling I lost my hubby of 21 years in January aged 49 when I lost him I lost all his family and friends too and my children are all over 21 now x shrops my fb lives a 4 hr round trip x I joined a meetup social group and that has been a lifesaver I go to various events , a member of a meetup walking group x and have recently been away with one of the guys as a friend to Fuerteventura and are going away to Portugal at Christmas , have a look at what is on in your local area check local library to see if there are any other interest groups in area x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a bad time to be lonely with Christmas coming soon. I always hope that somebody will notice me at this time of year ;-(

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By *lad21Man
over a year ago

Northumberland

Not sure if it's been mentioned but a mate said I should try meditation. Used the Headspace app for over a year and also watched videos by Thich Nhat Hanh on ytube and it's made a massive difference to me.

Took me some time to realise it was working but its worth perservering with!

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By *OM-ALMan
over a year ago

warrington

You are a good looking woman and i find it so hard to believe you have any trouble meeting someone !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a lot of good advice here. I don't suffer with feeling lonely as I actually enjoy doing things on my own and alone and lonely are two very different things.

When my daughter moves out in January and I'll be living on my own for the first time in my life but I have so many things to do lined up already and all on my own that, hopefully, I'll not feel lonely. Have you tried teaching yourself new things? Using the internet for things like learning a new language or teach yourself to knit or play guitar? Those moments when you're really feeling blergh could be filled with fun positives without even having to leave the house?

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I have much to be grateful for, my health, secure roof over my head and enough of an income to allow me to have a reasonable life style.

I am however short of "that someone special" in my life that I can share things with. You would think that by 72 I would not worry about sex but the desire is still there. Not just about sex but I do miss it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loneliness? I can't snap out of it, my wife of over 50 years passed away last April. SHe suffered mental health issues for the last 4/5 years culminating in attempt to take her own life just over 3 years ago. Although she recovered physically her mental health deteriorated further and she spent 14 months in a psychiatric hospital 8 of them sectioned. When the NHS turned her out she had lost the skill of conversation. My life revolved around caring for her with help from my daughters, we have four but one lives in the state's and another lives near London, the other two live close by but they have their own issues, both are single parents, one has a disabled daughter and the other s marriage was disintegrating ( her husband died the day before my wife). We had a great marriage ans my wife embraced Kate and I was very lucky but our social life disappeared due to my wife's depression, she didn't want to go out, and our family had no experience of mental health issues and we didn't recognize the signs of her illness. In effect I lost my wife four years ago, I've now moved house but motivation to do anything is an issue, I went to my old pub last Friday and I never spoke to anyone again until Tuesday evening. I can't go for long walks in the beautiful Northumbria countryside as I have a prolapse disc that affects one of my leg muscles. I have much to be grateful for, I don't have financial woes and apart from my leg I'm healthy I don't take any meds but I long for some company, some intimacy of sorts, I don't think I will hold a woman in my arms again or vice versa, sorry if this ones across as poor me tale, I'm just trying to explain my situation and how empty life can be and how difficult it is to turn things around, my wife couldn't

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

"Loneliness? I can't snap out of it, my wife of over 50 years passed away last April. SHe suffered mental health issues for the last 4/5 years culminating in attempt to take her own life just over 3 years ago. Although she recovered physically her mental health deteriorated further and she spent 14 months in a psychiatric hospital 8 of them sectioned. When the NHS turned her out she had lost the skill of conversation. My life revolved around caring for her with help from my daughters, we have four but one lives in the state's and another lives near London, the other two live close by but they have their own issues, both are single parents, one has a disabled daughter and the other s marriage was disintegrating ( her husband died the day before my wife). We had a great marriage ans my wife embraced Kate and I was very lucky but our social life disappeared due to my wife's depression, she didn't want to go out, and our family had no experience of mental health issues and we didn't recognize the signs of her illness. In effect I lost my wife four years ago, I've now moved house but motivation to do anything is an issue, I went to my old pub last Friday and I never spoke to anyone again until Tuesday evening. I can't go for long walks in the beautiful Northumbria countryside as I have a prolapse disc that affects one of my leg muscles. I have much to be grateful for, I don't have financial woes and apart from my leg I'm healthy I don't take any meds but I long for some company, some intimacy of sorts, I don't think I will hold a woman in my arms again or vice versa, sorry if this ones across as poor me tale, I'm just trying to explain my situation and how empty life can be and how difficult it is to turn things around, my wife couldn't"

Wow thanks for sharing Kate. Really got to me that sad but also good to see you have a nice family round you too. It is difficult for some to turn things around and some just fall between the cracks in our health system too. Considering your issues you still have a great figure too of course x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm divorced 4 yrs and do suffer periods of loneliness. Some days I like the space others I crave company.

I try to get myself out as much as I can..

Certainly know where op is coming from..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m so sorry Kate. I think I see what you were doing when you bravely shared this; I’m not the only person who’s lonely or going through stuff.

Thank you for sharing xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Maybe get yourself involved in some volunteering with charities. Hope things pick up for you x

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Its the darkest time of the year until we get to the shortrst day.

It doesnt help low days.

Find something to be thankful for every day. Nature and walks really help.

I live near the sea... It grounds me, boosts me. I work from home a lot and can be isolated sometimes as im the single friend.

Youre not alone. Be kind to yourself and how far youve come. Xx

So many things unknown to look forward to.

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By *eonnieCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

Sorry to hear you are lonely. If you fancy talking please message me. And I don’t meant anything sexy by it, just a normal friendly chat.

C (female) xxx

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By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

Sad to hear you are lonely OP . There are many who are especially this time of year . I have just got through a hell of a years worth of counselling and CBT etc ..I got some answers and had to really dig deep to find some of my own . Really deep but it kind of worked. I learned a lot about me and weirdly about needing to accept things rather than struggle with them .Dealing with let nliness is strangely easier when you admit you are and at least for the time being there is nothing you can really do about it !

I found it useful to start altering my thinking . If you are a reader like me .look up the book of joy by the Dalai Lama ..some really inspiring quotes . Also look up the 'happiness trap' online lots of very useful YouTube videos and worksheets etc ..

There are many others of course too .

I'm sure you have plenty of support already .However ,should you want to just iron a few things out,have a rant etc feel free to drop me an inbox. Despite possessing the obvious pervy qualities one needs to be a member of this site I am also very capable and I think adept at friendly,intelligent and in the case of loneliness ,isolation ,social anxiety type fears a bit of an expert .

Good luck to you whichever path you decide to take .

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By *arracksCouple
over a year ago

Deal

Loneliness is the worst of everything, hate it so much

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone for all your supportive messages.

As a result and by dragging my sorry ass up to my feet, I’m now doing a lot better.

I’ve thrown myself into converting my dilapidated, lean to, conservatory ( plastic roof etc) into a proper room. Employing a couple of friends on separate day’s to assist me as I knock out stone walls and cast concrete for new bifold doors.

Roof has come off. Flitch beam designed and constructed. New rafters cut and fitted. Almost done all the slating today in my own. It’s insulated and I’m excited to have it finished so I can serve Christmas dinner in there.

All round positivity.

I’m still alone but I’m not feeling it at the moment. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found walking abd cycling helped me.

But please accept a big hug from me

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Thank you everyone for all your supportive messages.

As a result and by dragging my sorry ass up to my feet, I’m now doing a lot better.

All round positivity.

I’m still alone but I’m not feeling it at the moment. Xx"

Glad you feeling positive....feel free to message if you need to chat x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you everyone for all your supportive messages.

As a result and by dragging my sorry ass up to my feet, I’m now doing a lot better.

All round positivity.

I’m still alone but I’m not feeling it at the moment. Xx

Glad you feeling positive....feel free to message if you need to chat x "

Thank you. X

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Thank you everyone for all your supportive messages.

As a result and by dragging my sorry ass up to my feet, I’m now doing a lot better.

All round positivity.

I’m still alone but I’m not feeling it at the moment. Xx

Glad you feeling positive....feel free to message if you need to chat x

Thank you. X"

Youre welcome

Foxy x

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By *r_FaustusMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"Thank you everyone for all your supportive messages.

As a result and by dragging my sorry ass up to my feet, I’m now doing a lot better.

All round positivity.

I’m still alone but I’m not feeling it at the moment. Xx"

Well done, OP

Here’s to a happier Christmas x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you , been really down for a few weeks now , just getting out of bed has been a massive task , works been a nightmare , last week I booked a holiday for February so I have something to look forward to , today I've been back to Coventry to visit the graves of my grandparents ( always good to have a chat with them ) it's crazy I'm lonely as hell yet I don't want people near me ( I push everyone away ) I get offers of going out with people from work but always make excuses . I'm sure I have social anxiety , my advice is try and organise something to do every day that gets you up and out of the house . Dentist , hair cut even a walk to the shops . I have found reading to be helpful and also uplifting music good luck you have lots of friends on here by the look of the replys , better days are ahead that is 100% true xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't use food for comfort like I'm doing right now, don't ruin that lovely figure of yours op. Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep do this too. Also take the dog with me and go for a walk on the beach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find keeping yourself busy is the best way. If you are doing stuff you don’t give your head chance to think. Gardening or working the motorbikes really helps me.

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By *itzWoman
over a year ago

south wales

"Feeling alone is terrible, since wife passed away nearly three years ago, I sit and cry myself to sleep most nights. I put on a big brave face to the outside world smiling and laughing helping others with their issues but block my own feelings out.

What I wouldn't do just to be cuddled up to someone on the settee or in bed doesn't even have to involve sex just a cuddle would do.

I have sat at bottom of garden with a bottle of whisky and paracetamol but the thought of my gorgeous grandaughter stopped me doing it.

So sorry to hear of your loss, and that of others who have commented on this thread. There is specialist counselling available to help those who are grieving and your GP will also know of some other local services and groups which may be of some help xxxx

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By *omersetcpl400Couple
over a year ago

here n there

[Removed by poster at 07/12/19 21:23:33]

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "
. Virtual reality hug to you loneliness can be very hard you can feel like giving up and if you are like me looking back at events in your life can at times make you withdrawn or wonder where your life went wrong , what am I doing wrong. Good to hear you have found a little project to make you feel better.As has already been suggested meet up are a good place to start one of the groups I am in do something as simple as going for a drink or meal once a month and cinema nite every week as well as a club every month that has tribute singers.Maybe have a look on Facebook as there are often events in local or nearby areas.On Fabs we have socials the ones I have attended in London have been good.Hope all works out for you.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

If you're craving company join a local group of virtually anything, photography, dance, chess, yoga, a language, coding, belly dancing. Pick something weekly for two or three days a week. It'll give you a large pool of people to get along with and socialise. Pick the kindest people you meet and hang out with them XXX

Lots of Zen hugs to a gal who's got low mojo, I know this place too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started doing exercise and triathlon, I going the training, structure and challenge plus the social side really helped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally get that.

And the urge to isolate is addictive.

Boxsets and books... not a cure, but a distraction. The hours pass.

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By *ulgehunterMan
over a year ago

yorkshire

Being alone sometimes can be the only way sometimes of really getting to know your self ,who you are and what you want ,in a society where people think you have to be married or hooked up to fit in ,it hard not to feel stigmatised by not being ,but a single person is often a strong person ,they have to be ,they have no one but them selves to rely on , loneliness is when you crave the caring sharing part of any human relationship, but its either been taken away from you ,or you cant find it .Hold your head up high ,value your worth ,be proud and smile to the world even though inside you dont want to ,everything will follow in time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes you just need a good fucking cry.

Sometimes you just need to be down in the dumps.

Sometimes, you gotta feel sorry for yourself because hey - no one cares for you as much as you do. (There is wisdom behind that statement, breathe it in and let it guide you.)

Point is, you see what it is and want to combat it. You already know you have fight in you. Let it happen, knowing you already made plans to get out of it. And you will. You can.

I like this mind set x

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

Wow, emotional thread which has really made me think. Big hugs to all feeling down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being on my own but there are times I miss a good old chatter and drinkie

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I've read this thread from start to finish and the thing that strikes me the most is the sheer number of people who can empathise with the OP through personal experience. What a lonely world we seem to live in. I'm feeling it a bit myself at the moment, and I'm not sure whether this site helps or hinders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey. Fab isn’t a cure for loneliness and it can’t replace the meeting and chatting that belongs to everyday life. Get yourself down to the pub or to an evening class for real interaction. There’s a great app called Meetup that lists loads of stuff going on in different towns and cities.

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By *ent_couple2019Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

(Mrs) I struggle really bad mentally. I've found reading clears any feelings at all. Audio books are good if you don't fancy picking up a book. Lots of light hearted stuff.

It's hard to deal with.

Sending love your way. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Well hey, you can't love anyone or anything. Until you learn to Love Yourself. Learn Be content in you're mind and enjoy your own company. But don't isolate yourself, and remember you only really lucky to have 5 true friends in your whole life. But I don't mean Associates or people you drink with or people you share things in common with.i mean damn right good friends in it for you and you want and pursue what's best for them are hard done to come by, usually people with the most friends end up being the most Loneliest when they realise none of them wernt worth shit. What are your hobbies, what makes you feel at peace, what makes you smile about the world, smile and the world will smile back. Things will shift and change in you're favor as you begin to belive in you're self and the wonders of the world more, we all encounter lost opportunities that we are unable to make the most out of. Make little steps to venture out your comfort zone. Go swimming, have a coffee at a cafe, go for a walk, go for a jog, read your favourite book in an Scenic area. Take up pottery classes, go to book Club, Bible studies, something that resinates with you're self. Anything. Don't be a victim to your own insanity going round in circles doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different change. Much love hope you feel better soon, your local hippy dippy idiot.... peace of the mind, love others around you, and prosperity to you're self

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It seems this thread keeps popping back up and triggers a few more pm’s of support.

I went back to the supermarket I went to when I was at my lowest last night and suddenly remembered how I felt the last time I was there.

That scared me a bit. I realised then how close to giving up on myself I was only a few weeks ago.

I’m still here.

I’m not happy but I’m nowhere near where I was.

I can do this.

I can keep going.

The light at the end of the tunnel is on order and will somehow be installed at some point.

For now, I’m blanking the upset and darkness and concentrating on the job in hand, getting to and through my two psychiatric assessments, and then to my reassignment surgery.

For all the support and for the others, who like me, have reasons why their mental health isn’t good right now, I want to say thank you for caring xx

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By *hMyGawdCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

All storms will pass

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I've been going to my local pub a lot more, it changed hands recently and I get on well with the new owners, which means I feel comfortable enough pitching up on my own, taking a seat at the bar and shooting the breeze with them. The clientele is mostly students so I end up interacting with the staff more than the other customers but there's a few of the younger crowd I get on with too, which is nice as I like to feel a bit more in touch with the 'youth'! I don't drink as much as I used to either, so I can easily spend a few hours in there and not spend more than £10.

I think my problem is although I get lonely, I need more alone time than most other people, this is quite hard when it comes to relationships as generally my partners have always wanted to spend more time together than I can handle. It's tough finding a balance or someone whose needs are in alignment.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Hey. Fab isn’t a cure for loneliness and it can’t replace the meeting and chatting that belongs to everyday life. Get yourself down to the pub or to an evening class for real interaction. There’s a great app called Meetup that lists loads of stuff going on in different towns and cities.

I have to say despite mentioning spending more time in my local as mentioned above, most pubs aren't the social hubs they used to be a few years ago. My local is busy every night because it's mostly frequented by younger uni students who have a fair bit of disposable income and less qualms about going out on a week night. It is, however, otherwise hard to find a local in my area where the regulars are below retirement age or that isn't dead quiet in the week.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Loneliness is such a strange thing because it affects people with a huge amount of social networks too, you can be with lots of good people in the best places in the world, busy with career and all sort and still feel very, very lonely. Some advice I’ve followed for years regarding relationships. Find your 3 circles, approx 50 people, 12 people and 2-3 people one of who should be your soulmate. Make yourself accountable to the 2-3, no secrets, no lies, admit when you messed up and let them speak into your life. Invest heavily in the 12 and they will also be there for you. The 50 are just for fun, enjoy them, go to thier leaving parties when they move countries but don’t mourn them or expect to stay in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a terrible year last year with loneliness etc happy to support anyone here who needs it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear your down in the dumps OP.

I'll echo what others have said and suggest meetup. It's a really good website/app and there is genuinely something for everyone.

A personal one from me is the type of music you listen to is important, I find now that upbeat music changes my mood. Maybe try listening to something different?

Anyway without trying to come across as holier-than-thou which isn't my intention, when I was very unwell a few years ago I had no belief it would end. It took time and some serious treatment, but I got to the other side and am now happy and lead a fulfilling life. I even found my lovely wife during my darkest time!

So yeah, basically I'm sure, despite how it feels that you will get back on track eventually and I'll put this out here to anyone that needs/wants to chat about this kind of thing, I'm always here to listen. I may not know what to do, but a problem shared is a problem halved.

Anyways take care

A xx

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

I set myself goals to achieve. I also try to get out to do the things that I enjoy.

Sadly, there are some toxic people in my life right now, doing their best to drag me down.

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By *exsenceCouple
over a year ago

stalybridge

I am a holistic therapist and a big believer in self healing book in for some holistic facial therapy with pressure points massage Hun xx

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Sadly, there are some toxic people in my life right now, doing their best to drag me down."

This might sound harsh , and if they are family it can be tough , but ultimately you choose who is your life or at least the reaction you have when they do what they do, don’t make excuses , make tough decisions instead

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By *artyanna16TV/TS
over a year ago

seacroft

Have you ever thought of joining an evening class in languages , one which has conversation , its good for keeping up your talking skills and and your learning Something new , (of course you may already be a fantastic conversationalist and a professor of languages ) , but j know when i was a little younger than i am now , i joined and anarchist club and, had i not been snapped up by the footy team , id have gone to hunt sabs or reclaim the streets , or learning spanish with some who had travelled to bradford as part of a celebration of the international brigade who fought against franco in the spanish civil war . ( im still trying to learn it now) My dad also took up french conversation class when he was 55 (in case you think age is a barrier to learning , but then you might only be 22 , in which case ill get me coat , heh heh

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I took up.Modern.Jive dancing you meet.a.lot.of fantastic people and as Ceroc franchises to weekenders and.holidays you would never be short.of food company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to add to what others have suggested about finding a new interest to help combat loneliness and depression.

I discovered a passion for photography a few years ago during a bout of the dark stuff and I find that this has helped me greatly. It find that although I will always be alone, it doesn't really affect me as much as it made me realise that just because I don't have somebody to share things with, that isn't a reason not to do things.

Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to people and remember someone always can listen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loneliness Can be a terrible thing. I suffer with it in a big way.

At times I feel this site has made things worse for me by using it as a way to hide from the loneliness by searching for connection here.

I don’t think it is the healthiest way to deal with things but I’m sure I’m not the o my one here who does the same.

I would love to connect with a female from here in a strictly non sexual who is feeling the same as I do.

Inbox is open to the kindhearted x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Do you not have anyone to talk to? I empathise with any difficulties regarding you transitioning, aren't counsellors provided or accessible?

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"How do you combat it?

I’m in a very dark place mentally at the moment and my last resort yesterday was to drive slowly to the supermarket and take my time doing a shop just to get out of the house. "

Having met you and read your profile I am amazed to hear you are lonely.....!!

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By *aulo9424Man
over a year ago

hull

I think it us good people are been supportive . Years ago this wouldnt have happened. People generally nowadays accept things much more easily. I hope you get all the help and friendship you deserve

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By *elicatedelicateCouple
over a year ago

Southside

Good diet

Outdoors

Creativity

Movement

Sex

Hobbies

Friends and a good laugh

Life planning

Masturbation

Fab

Dating

Netflix

Professional help

Exercise

Team efforts

Spoil yourself

Doing things you love

Building a good network of friends and family

New projects

Spas

ASMR

Massages

Sexual Fantasies

Dancing

Cooking

New environments

Pets

Positivity

Write out your problems

Talk

Be curious

These may not help but can make a huge difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My inbox is always open for a friendly non sexual chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/01/20 22:58:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Struggling again today.

The battle continues but the hole seems to be getting bigger .

Love to anyone in same position as me, it is not a nice place to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Struggling again today.

The battle continues but the hole seems to be getting bigger .

Love to anyone in same position as me, it is not a nice place to be."

Delicate delicate has succinctly given good advice.

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By *r NeilMan
over a year ago

Lancs Mancs

Everyones fucked up dont worry about it

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By *r NeilMan
over a year ago

Lancs Mancs

In theory but in reality is a different kettle of fish

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Talk to someone. The Samaritans if you have no one and it's a risk to your health. Voluntary work.

Find people online to talk to, you can find true friends that way.

Meetup groups

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I read this today, It's about weekend loneliness and people being busy during the week with work though having limited interaction, almost dreading the weekend due to no social life. It's an honest account of life I think.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/16/the-agony-of-weekend-loneliness-i-wont-speak-to-another-human-until-monday

I personally have cfs and as far as interaction, if I speak to anyone other than direct family, it's a rarity. My energy is so low that having a hobby is well near impossible. I don't shop, see, speak to or have any real friends. Exhaustion encompasses every facet. I usually don't write on threads like these as, I am too tired to think about it, which is a plus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good diet

Outdoors

Creativity

Movement

Sex

Hobbies

Friends and a good laugh

Life planning

Masturbation

Fab

Dating

Netflix

Professional help

Exercise

Team efforts

Spoil yourself

Doing things you love

Building a good network of friends and family

New projects

Spas

ASMR

Massages

Sexual Fantasies

Dancing

Cooking

New environments

Pets

Positivity

Write out your problems

Talk

Be curious

These may not help but can make a huge difference"

Great advice xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou x

There are some good people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

The loneliest time in my life was when i was in a long term relationship. I may as well have been invisible. Now i am single i just keep busy and plan ahead.

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By *he RingmasterMan
over a year ago

Canford Cliffs

January and February are the worst months for depression and it is when psychiatric hospital admissions are at the highest.

Make the most of sunlight if you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in a semi rural area, which makes doing things hard, especially when you work full time.

I have hobbies. But some of the nights Im at home, my mind is just going "now what". Some days its hard not to feel invisible. The lack of social interaction is the hardest part.

The hardest point for me was moving away from uni and a metropolitan town to a village. The lack of places to go etc without traveling constantly. We are a social species but live in a world where interaction is limited.

I dont have any answers but none of you are alone in these feelings.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Sorry to hear your struggling. I have been lonely especially in my marraige. I now hardly get lonely. I hope you find a way to enjoy life. I have many interests, 2 dogs and have invested I friendships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes call myself Peter Brady, for those of a certain era, he was the Invisible Man, you only saw him when he put his bandages on

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Big hugs to the OP and everyone else. The days are getting lighter and soon we will have the early signs of Spring. Things will start getting easier, even when everything feels like it has gone wrong. I understand it isn’t easy, but think of good times and focus on small things to keep you going. Walking in the countryside or on a beach is always invigorating and worth considering. Big hugs again

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