FabSwingers.com forum: Go for it or think about it

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So guys and girls,

The amazing lady in my life is an absolute bag of nerves, I guess a product of being with the same guys for over 15 years.

Here's a little rundown, we are both on here with single profiles (although very much married). The reason for single profiles is she is trying to explore by herself initially (I'm perfectly happy with this), I'm just here for forums.

So, she had a couple of socials with a particular gent, one who gets the situation. Then after a social he messaged to ask if she was spontaneous enough to jump in the car and go see him. Not for anything sexual as such but....

Would you jump in the car and give yourself less time to think or would you think it over so much that it could have an adverse effect?

If you see this darling, hey

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm puzzled. You say on the thread "I'm just here for Forums" but your profile says you are looking to meet women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm puzzled. You say on the thread "I'm just here for Forums" but your profile says you are looking to meet women. "

That's generic when you dont fill in your profile.

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By *.W CPLCouple
over a year ago

PRESTON

"I'm puzzled. You say on the thread "I'm just here for Forums" but your profile says you are looking to meet women.

That's generic when you dont fill in your profile. "

No you have changed age range to so somthin fishy here

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I'm puzzled. You say on the thread "I'm just here for Forums" but your profile says you are looking to meet women.

That's generic when you dont fill in your profile.

No you have changed age range to so somthin fishy here"

And if he hadn't changed the age range people would be whining about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm puzzled. You say on the thread "I'm just here for Forums" but your profile says you are looking to meet women.

That's generic when you dont fill in your profile.

No you have changed age range to so somthin fishy here

And if he hadn't changed the age range people would be whining about that.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Why change the age range if you are not looking to meet and just here for the Forums ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There is nothing fishy. The age range was changed because I dont want to see updates from over 50s.

If you guys dont want to or cant give your thoughts on the actual post rather than my non-profile then feel free to exit the thread

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If she is "an absolute bag of nerves" is exploring on her own a good idea ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If she is "an absolute bag of nerves" is exploring on her own a good idea ? "

Well isn't that for her to decide? Nerves don't mean she doesn't want to and the only way to deal with nerves is to 'confront' so to speak

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/19 11:25:03]

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

I'm often a bag of nerves before a meet. Especially a first meet. I don't think I could just spontaneously meet. I need time to overthink it too much! Haha! At a push I could maybe do a next day meet. But not a see you in an hour meet. I would put too much pressure on myself in such a short time. I like to have time to get ready and make sure I feel good before going. I hope that helps.

Gem

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm often a bag of nerves before a meet. Especially a first meet. I don't think I could just spontaneously meet. I need time to overthink it too much! Haha! At a push I could maybe do a next day meet. But not a see you in an hour meet. I would put too much pressure on myself in such a short time. I like to have time to get ready and make sure I feel good before going. I hope that helps.

Gem"

Thank you for your input Gem, appreciate it.

Just to add this is someone who she has met with a couple of times socially. Does that make any difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is nothing fishy. The age range was changed because I dont want to see updates from over 50s.

If you guys dont want to or cant give your thoughts on the actual post rather than my non-profile then feel free to exit the thread"

Innit. Jeez give the guys a break. So many detective types on here. Just answer the guy!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

The first time Debs and I met in person was a short notice meet. It was Xmas night 2002, we were in a swinging chatroom on IRC (a blast from the past) and Debs asked if I'd been drinking. I told her I hadn't as I'd had my son all day and had just taken him back to his mum's. "Well come over" she said. I did and that was that. Her first words to me face to face were "You're wearing too many clothes"

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By *icknHMan
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

"There is nothing fishy. The age range was changed because I dont want to see updates from over 50s.

If you guys dont want to or cant give your thoughts on the actual post rather than my non-profile then feel free to exit the thread"

Well said. Plenty of Private Eyes here I think lol !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If she is "an absolute bag of nerves" is exploring on her own a good idea ?

Well isn't that for her to decide? Nerves don't mean she doesn't want to and the only way to deal with nerves is to 'confront' so to speak"

That jumping in a car situation isn't just about 'nerves'. How about safety - sounds like the gent wanted his leg over in the back seat.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If she is "an absolute bag of nerves" is exploring on her own a good idea ?

Well isn't that for her to decide? Nerves don't mean she doesn't want to and the only way to deal with nerves is to 'confront' so to speak

That jumping in a car situation isn't just about 'nerves'. How about safety - sounds like the gent wanted his leg over in the back seat..... "

Jump in her car to go and meet.

It was definitely a nerves thing, she feels perfectly comfortable with him haven't met socially a couple of times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well looks like you've already sussed it then. We have very little to go on and we don't know who she is.

So forum posts are going to be all about guessing the situation!

I can only tell you what I'd feel and how his 'drive' and how it would be interpreted to me!

(fem)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well looks like you've already sussed it then. We have very little to go on and we don't know who she is.

So forum posts are going to be all about guessing the situation!

I can only tell you what I'd feel and how his 'drive' and how it would be interpreted to me!

(fem) "

Hopefully she'll be along soon to explain herself, for some reason she can't post to forums but she is reading and has contacted admin regarding not being able to post.

Back to the topic though, it isn't about her thinking he wants more than he says. He told her what he wanted and she trusts that part is true.

The question is, would you be spontaneous or think and possibly talk yourself out of it. Do you think sometimes spontaneity can help overcome the issue of nerves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well looks like you've already sussed it then. We have very little to go on and we don't know who she is.

So forum posts are going to be all about guessing the situation!

I can only tell you what I'd feel and how his 'drive' and how it would be interpreted to me!

(fem)

Hopefully she'll be along soon to explain herself, for some reason she can't post to forums but she is reading and has contacted admin regarding not being able to post.

Back to the topic though, it isn't about her thinking he wants more than he says. He told her what he wanted and she trusts that part is true.

The question is, would you be spontaneous or think and possibly talk yourself out of it. Do you think sometimes spontaneity can help overcome the issue of nerves?"

I'd talk myself out of it!

The meet just not public enough for me. So I'd be nervous over that reason.

Does that make a difference over how I've put it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well looks like you've already sussed it then. We have very little to go on and we don't know who she is.

So forum posts are going to be all about guessing the situation!

I can only tell you what I'd feel and how his 'drive' and how it would be interpreted to me!

(fem)

Hopefully she'll be along soon to explain herself, for some reason she can't post to forums but she is reading and has contacted admin regarding not being able to post.

Back to the topic though, it isn't about her thinking he wants more than he says. He told her what he wanted and she trusts that part is true.

The question is, would you be spontaneous or think and possibly talk yourself out of it. Do you think sometimes spontaneity can help overcome the issue of nerves?

I'd talk myself out of it!

The meet just not public enough for me. So I'd be nervous over that reason.

Does that make a difference over how I've put it? "

I think it's about the person you are meeting. Throwing yourself into meetings won't conquer nerves.... Maybe she nerds to be in a more comfortable environment..

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think if she knows him then that's different and go for it if she has met him a couple of times she must like or feel comfortable with him.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If she knows him and in that moment is feeling comfortable enough and you both think it's safe and risk assessed the situation I really don't see why she shouldn't go for it.

It all hinges on how she is feeling in that moment it might be that is everything else is lined up properly spontinuity might be the only way to crack it

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

Gem

Thank you for your input Gem, appreciate it.

Just to add this is someone who she has met with a couple of times socially. Does that make any difference?"

For me it would totally depend on how comfortable I feel with them. If it was someone who made me feel completely at ease then I probably would. If it's someone I'm still trying to suss out I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If she is "an absolute bag of nerves" is exploring on her own a good idea ?

Well isn't that for her to decide? Nerves don't mean she doesn't want to and the only way to deal with nerves is to 'confront' so to speak"
agreed confront your fears and ignore the sceptics

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If I was her and felt comfortable enough after having 2 socials I'd meet him. I'd still think in the back of my mind that it would end in sex though so I'd put matching underwear on just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've taken calculated risks over the years. I've never come to any harm. Would I recommend anyone else to do the same? Fuck, no. I'm not being obtuse but I'm not sure how helpful this thread will be to the lady. It boils down to her making a choice that no one else can or should make for her.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

If she has already met him and feels comfortable with him, then absolutely be spontaneous. But safety wise....I would suggest she messages you with the address and phones you after 30 to 60 mins to say all good. If you don't have any contact after 2 hours, you go over to the house.

Maybe even go and wait outside the house. ? Then she can relax knowing you are close by if needed

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