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Dilemma/Advice

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Hi my wife and I have discussed a mff 3sum lots of times....granted usually after/whilst out drinking,she had a bit of bi fun before we met and I get the impression from our lovemaking sometimes that she would like it again...she has always said in principle it’s a good idea and she likes the thought of girl fun in the scenario.....she has stated that she would only do it if we were away from home which we do regularly we usually stay over in York/Durham/Leeds/Harrogate...we are actually in Harrogate this Friday(not fishing here btw lol)my dilemma is what would be the best way to do this....arrange without her knowledge or just look for someone whilst we were out drinking or maybe go somewhere that has gay/bi sexual bars?.......any advice greatly accepted I also rather enjoy the thought of inviting another man to join us but I’m 99% certain she would prefer a female....I think her main issue is with me and the female......I couldn’t just watch as nice as it would be I would have to join in.......any thoughts anyone?? thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Ask your wife. Do not strange anything without her knowledge. 99% certain is not 100%.

Communicate.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*arrange

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Thanks the point is we have discussed it in lots of occasions usually whilst we are away for night and have been drinking....sat in bars I know I get excited about it and she says she does I’ve even asked her to point out girls she finds attractive and she has but it’s never gone past that point

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Let her see your profile and maybe take her to a social in your area.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks the point is we have discussed it in lots of occasions usually whilst we are away for night and have been drinking....sat in bars I know I get excited about it and she says she does I’ve even asked her to point out girls she finds attractive and she has but it’s never gone past that point"

What's preventing you talking it through further and arranging it as a couple?

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

That’s an idea so you thinking when we are out drinking and discussing this kind of thing mention swingers socials/clubs then rather than route currently going down?.....I just thought the other route would be a better starting point but easier more personal and could see what things were like afterwards then maybe build up to rest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll find so many judgements/opinions on here that are aimed at you rather than the question.

Me? I would chat to her and see if you can arrange it together. Do not arrange something without her knowledge as that could go horribly wrong and you'll only have yourself to blame

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Maybe and yes hypocritical I know....it was advice I was asking for.....you can judge me I have no issues with that like said just after some advice....this is a forum after all

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"You'll find so many judgements/opinions on here that are aimed at you rather than the question.

Me? I would chat to her and see if you can arrange it together. Do not arrange something without her knowledge as that could go horribly wrong and you'll only have yourself to blame"

Yeah that thought had crossed my mind.....we do talk about it like said in original post it’s that next step and I can take the judgement aimed at me it’s advice I was after thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"That’s an idea so you thinking when we are out drinking and discussing this kind of thing mention swingers socials/clubs then rather than route currently going down?.....I just thought the other route would be a better starting point but easier more personal and could see what things were like afterwards then maybe build up to rest "

If you use reply+quote we will know who you're replying to

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Thanks the point is we have discussed it in lots of occasions usually whilst we are away for night and have been drinking....sat in bars I know I get excited about it and she says she does I’ve even asked her to point out girls she finds attractive and she has but it’s never gone past that point

What's preventing you talking it through further and arranging it as a couple?"

We do as I’ve said in original post it’s just that next step and how/when to approach it I just wondered if anyone else was ever in that position thanks

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"*arrange"

Thanks

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"That’s an idea so you thinking when we are out drinking and discussing this kind of thing mention swingers socials/clubs then rather than route currently going down?.....I just thought the other route would be a better starting point but easier more personal and could see what things were like afterwards then maybe build up to rest

If you use reply+quote we will know who you're replying to "

I’ve just worked that out lol sorry

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Talk to her. The alternative is putting her on the spot, which could be uncomfortable or awful.

Talk to her about it *sober*.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer to your question OP is very simple, talk to her. If it’s something you have both discussed when d*unk, do it sober, and don’t plan anything until you have.

On a side note, you have a single male profile with a lot of verifications and operating as a single guy, no mention of a wife or that part of your life. May I ask, and only because I’m curious, does she know you use the site and meet people through it?

The key to any meet with a partner is honesty and whilst your original question is around how to broach the idea with your wife, I question whether you should be broaching it all, if she’s not up to speed on your Fab life already. I would think that if she were, the topic of a threesome wouldn’t be a hard one to have with her and that you’d have the sort of relationship already where sexual needs are openly discussed so that they are met for everyone involved and without risk of emotional damage.

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"You'll find so many judgements/opinions on here that are aimed at you rather than the question.

Me? I would chat to her and see if you can arrange it together. Do not arrange something without her knowledge as that could go horribly wrong and you'll only have yourself to blame"

Have posts been deleted? I didn’t see anyone doing the above.

My suggestion was for his wife to see his profile so she can see what it is all about, rather than setting up her own one. A new woman is overwhelmed with mail. Also to go to one of the large socials if she is interested to see that quite a few people have the same interests. You never know she may want to take it further. But then again she may not.

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Talk to her. The alternative is putting her on the spot, which could be uncomfortable or awful.

Talk to her about it *sober*. "

Yeah that does sound like good advice...has happened a few times when we’ve been making love...turns us both on are you meaning discuss over the dinner table?...lol

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"The answer to your question OP is very simple, talk to her. If it’s something you have both discussed when d*unk, do it sober, and don’t plan anything until you have.

On a side note, you have a single male profile with a lot of verifications and operating as a single guy, no mention of a wife or that part of your life. May I ask, and only because I’m curious, does she know you use the site and meet people through it?

You were right the first time but thanks for advice....

The key to any meet with a partner is honesty and whilst your original question is around how to broach the idea with your wife, I question whether you should be broaching it all, if she’s not up to speed on your Fab life already. I would think that if she were, the topic of a threesome wouldn’t be a hard one to have with her and that you’d have the sort of relationship already where sexual needs are openly discussed so that they are met for everyone involved and without risk of emotional damage."

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"You'll find so many judgements/opinions on here that are aimed at you rather than the question.

Me? I would chat to her and see if you can arrange it together. Do not arrange something without her knowledge as that could go horribly wrong and you'll only have yourself to blame

Have posts been deleted? I didn’t see anyone doing the above.

My suggestion was for his wife to see his profile so she can see what it is all about, rather than setting up her own one. A new woman is overwhelmed with mail. Also to go to one of the large socials if she is interested to see that quite a few people have the same interests. You never know she may want to take it further. But then again she may not. "

That’s all true and good advice thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she has any issue at all with another female being in your sex life, even any incline that she may not like it, I’d say wait until she’s 100% ready! The last thing you want to do is arrange something and half way through the jealousy kicks in! My advice is always let her choose and let her take the lead so she doesn’t feel like it’s you who’s chasing someone you fancy if that makes sense!

Defo try and club together and see what happens.... good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/11/19 12:32:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And yes, responses have been deleted.

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"If she has any issue at all with another female being in your sex life, even any incline that she may not like it, I’d say wait until she’s 100% ready! The last thing you want to do is arrange something and half way through the jealousy kicks in! My advice is always let her choose and let her take the lead so she doesn’t feel like it’s you who’s chasing someone you fancy if that makes sense!

Defo try and club together and see what happens....good luck! "

That makes sense and the approach I should take thank you

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"And yes, responses have been deleted."

I thought that might have been the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask your wife. Do not strange anything without her knowledge. 99% certain is not 100%.

Communicate."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and ask: are you sure the possibility of another woman joining yourself and your wife (who, btw, you do not mention on your profile whatsoever and skillfully avoid answering questions regarding that) turns your wife on? Maybe she is only just fantasising about it as it seems to be turning you on (like most of men), and she wouldn't like to experience it in reality? Despite having had, as you say, previous experience with girl on girl fun?

The worst thing you could do, OP, is arrange it without her knowing.

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By *hynot3 OP   Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and ask: are you sure the possibility of another woman joining yourself and your wife (who, btw, you do not mention on your profile whatsoever and skillfully avoid answering questions regarding that) turns your wife on? Maybe she is only just fantasising about it as it seems to be turning you on (like most of men), and she wouldn't like to experience it in reality? Despite having had, as you say, previous experience with girl on girl fun?

That’s a very good reply and with lots of valid points you may well be right that she takes it further as it turns me.....but I also think it turns her on.....

The worst thing you could do, OP, is arrange it without her knowing. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And yes, responses have been deleted.

I thought that might have been the case. "

Yes, it would appear that only those in support of the OP are being kept and answered, rather than those that might seek to better understand the OP’s situation in order to better provide advice.

As it stands, there is a guy on a single profile, who looks like he meets solo and conducts himself as solo, looking for advice on how to bring his wife into the fold, all seems a touch off from my perspective.

Would like to know more from the OP, whilst I’m not the moral police, I do think absolute honesty when it comes to fuckery is paramount.

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