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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx I wouldnt mind if it made the woman feel safer always carry my photo driving licence on me xx " | |||
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"Well when ever i go on a meet to keep safe I inform a non fab friend of where I am going and then check in when I leave. Never had any issues though. " Granted the exact address is never disclosed just the general area, | |||
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"Well when ever i go on a meet to keep safe I inform a non fab friend of where I am going and then check in when I leave. Never had any issues though. Granted the exact address is never disclosed just the general area, " But how would you reassure the woman that she was safe? That's about you being safe (which is also important) | |||
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"Meet him first at a local coffee shop maybe" But he still could not be who he said he was. | |||
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"Well when ever i go on a meet to keep safe I inform a non fab friend of where I am going and then check in when I leave. Never had any issues though. Granted the exact address is never disclosed just the general area, But how would you reassure the woman that she was safe? That's about you being safe (which is also important)" Well I'd not agree to meet at her house to begin with I'd like to chat with her via messages more and arrange a social at a local coffee shop where is safe for both parties being cameras and locals about. | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " I simply dont meet at home. | |||
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"Meet him first at a local coffee shop maybe" it is either a risk you all take meeting at someone's house and a big risk I think meeting socially first is always a must ... | |||
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"Meet him first at a local coffee shop maybe But he still could not be who he said he was." In which case it would be much easier and safer for you to say no and walk away, due to the public nature of the place. | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " If he or she turned up and looked like nothing like the profile then I would not invite them in is one option but is that really safe of letting in a complete stranger into your house not really knowing them is so unsafe these days. Still it is your call and your choice. Life is full of risks some are good ones some not so good | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " Don't invite them to your house for a meet until you've built up that trust. If you're having to ask for id proof I'd say you're not ready to take him home for fun. | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " No issues at all, in fact I was on a Tinder date not long ago (due to my job) she told me her son was going to get an update every 30 minutes or a call after an hour. I was happy that she was confident I was safe a meet to tell me, I even have a CRB certificate to show if needs be. | |||
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"We do not meet at our home address but will meet at a pub or restaurant etc and then go on elsewhere. If Ann meets anyone on her own it is a condition that texts or rings with the full address. More recently we have added GPS locator to both our phones for added security/safety. " They're both good ideas thanks. And I think it reinforces my point that someone visiting my house will have my address, so I feel that I should know who they are. That only seems reasonable. | |||
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" I wouldnt mind if it made the woman feel safer always carry my photo driving licence on me xx " Thanks this makes me feel much better. I thought maybe people would think I was being unreasonable. | |||
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" No issues at all, in fact I was on a Tinder date not long ago (due to my job) she told me her son was going to get an update every 30 minutes or a call after an hour. I was happy that she was confident I was safe a meet to tell me, I even have a CRB certificate to show if needs be. " I've got one of those too ?? Can you imagine having that a meet criteria ?? Thanks, glad it's not just me x | |||
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"I don't meet at home for this, reason. Regardless, I have a safety person who knows who I'm meeting, what I know about them, and where I'm going. And I have a social only social first. " Maybe this is what I need to do. That said, I'd still want to know if I was meeting in a hotel. I feel like if someone isn't willing to tell you their name then they are hiding something. | |||
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"I don't meet at home for this, reason. Regardless, I have a safety person who knows who I'm meeting, what I know about them, and where I'm going. And I have a social only social first. Maybe this is what I need to do. That said, I'd still want to know if I was meeting in a hotel. I feel like if someone isn't willing to tell you their name then they are hiding something." There's a lot of people I've met where I don't know their full name, or them mine. Discretion takes many forms, and not being willing to connect swinging with the rest of your life (for example, I do voluntary work with vulnerable adults, so I hide myself) doesn't make you a bad person. | |||
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"If you have a mobile number, the police would be able to trace the owner from that if needed. " Only if it's registered! I'm one who generally thinks people are good until proven otherwise, but--I always trust my gut. If any ANY point the guy I'm meeting says or does anything that feels off, in ANY way, I end things there. It could be just a random comment said "as a joke," but if it feels like there's anything more to it, it's a definite, non reversible no from me. Joking and banter is one thing--but you get a feel for whether it's said otherwise. I have entertained at home, at times. Never had a problem. | |||
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" There's a lot of people I've met where I don't know their full name, or them mine. Discretion takes many forms, and not being willing to connect swinging with the rest of your life (for example, I do voluntary work with vulnerable adults, so I hide myself) doesn't make you a bad person. " That's true, I suppose for me it's not about a connection to their life, I don't want anyone to have a connection to mine as I have a sensitive job too. It's just about a reassurance that they're who they say they are. Not for any reason other than if they do something then I know who they are. I guess we all are a product of our experience and I've had a few that leave me realising my vulnerability. That's not to say I'm not confident, I am. But I'm aware that I'm mortal (sadly) | |||
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" There's a lot of people I've met where I don't know their full name, or them mine. Discretion takes many forms, and not being willing to connect swinging with the rest of your life (for example, I do voluntary work with vulnerable adults, so I hide myself) doesn't make you a bad person. That's true, I suppose for me it's not about a connection to their life, I don't want anyone to have a connection to mine as I have a sensitive job too. It's just about a reassurance that they're who they say they are. Not for any reason other than if they do something then I know who they are. I guess we all are a product of our experience and I've had a few that leave me realising my vulnerability. That's not to say I'm not confident, I am. But I'm aware that I'm mortal (sadly)" Oh I get that, believe me. I have my own safety measures in place, I just don't include revealing identity in them. | |||
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" There's a lot of people I've met where I don't know their full name, or them mine. Discretion takes many forms, and not being willing to connect swinging with the rest of your life (for example, I do voluntary work with vulnerable adults, so I hide myself) doesn't make you a bad person. That's true, I suppose for me it's not about a connection to their life, I don't want anyone to have a connection to mine as I have a sensitive job too. It's just about a reassurance that they're who they say they are. Not for any reason other than if they do something then I know who they are. I guess we all are a product of our experience and I've had a few that leave me realising my vulnerability. That's not to say I'm not confident, I am. But I'm aware that I'm mortal (sadly)" Nothing about meeting people online is safe at all lol. Its as simple as that. Only thing you can do agreed, meet for a drink in a local public place. Suppose you'll have a sense about the other person. If it's safe to invite/ be invited round theirs. | |||
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"I think as with anything, there are degrees of risk. Meeting online is perhaps riskier than meeting a friend of a friend, but who's to say that the friend of a friend decides that particular day to behave wildly out of character or the law hasn't caught up with him/her yet? It's about doing what you can to reduce risk. " Exactly, I guess I just have to stick to what I feel is acceptable and if the other person isn't OK with that then it's not the right situation. (same goes for them too) | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " Ask his mum to write a reference for him  | |||
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"I think as with anything, there are degrees of risk. Meeting online is perhaps riskier than meeting a friend of a friend, but who's to say that the friend of a friend decides that particular day to behave wildly out of character or the law hasn't caught up with him/her yet? It's about doing what you can to reduce risk. Exactly, I guess I just have to stick to what I feel is acceptable and if the other person isn't OK with that then it's not the right situation. (same goes for them too)" It’s a huge risk inviting someone (anyone) into your home that you’ve met online. Male or female. You wouldn’t do it from a dating website so why here? I would prefer a social first and would be happy to prove my character. | |||
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" Ask his mum to write a reference for him "Mums are the worst referees. They think their boys are angels ?? | |||
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"I have no issue with meeting in public first, but that doesn't give me the security of anything other than knowing they have a face that matches a photo. If something happened (to either person) and you needed to deal with the situation. With no name or details then what can you do? I have a real reason to be wary because of something that happened to a friend. I'd be happy to prove who I was by showing photo ID but am I unusual in this?" I certainly wouldn't show someone photo id on a meet but I don't do many private meets. Id expect a guy to tell me to do one if i asked him to do so | |||
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"Before we all met on the Internet, we pulled in bars and clubs and woke up Coyote Ugly. All ID can be faked. " Maybe this is my issue. I never have! | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx I simply dont meet at home. " We agree - either a club or a hotel (club best) | |||
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"Men - As a single guy being invited to a single girl's house for a meet, how would you feel about being asked to provide some proof of name or address? Women - how do you deal with this situation? xx " Fake ID is easy enough to find if you're that way inclined. I would never go back to an unknown house for a meet, be that with a male, female or couple I'd never met before or invite them back to mine. You need to do your own due diligence. A social in a public place first. Meet at a hotel not someones home. Photograph car reg maybe and forward to a trusted friend.Go with your gut feeling and don't be embarrassed to bail immediately if something seems "off". None of these are failsafe, but your safety is your responsibility. | |||
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"Before we all met on the Internet, we pulled in bars and clubs and woke up Coyote Ugly. All ID can be faked. Maybe this is my issue. I never have!" You either weren’t alive pre internet or were a child, nobody had the luxury of checking people out before meeting, we relied on friends, instinct and took ownership. | |||
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" You either weren’t alive pre internet or were a child, nobody had the luxury of checking people out before meeting, we relied on friends, instinct and took ownership." I was, just about. But it just wasn't something I did. I didn't want to check him out. I wanted to know his name before inviting him into my house. I wasn't planning on writing to his boss! I was taking ownership, of my safety. I guess we all just do it in different ways. | |||
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"I'd always offer to meet socially. There is always risk though as a previous poster pointed out. CRB (DBS now) is really not worth anything, as it only shows your status on the day it was issued... you could be in court for pedophilia and still have a clean DBS... sorry! Maybe have a friend (fab or otherwise) that would contact the police if they don't hear from you for a given time? Could be awkward if you did hit it off and things moved quicker than expected... "I was joking about the DBS earlier...that would be weird. I get the checking up thing, but it's not that, it's more about feeling confident that a person is who they say they are. It's the imbalance of power I think. If someone comes to your house they have access to everything you are. In return you ask for their name. Maybe I'm too cautious. Although as I mentioned above I have good reason to be. | |||
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"We met a single woman on here before. She asked for the car reg and description, also as the meet was taking place at our house she asked for our full address. We had already made sure she was 100% real so we sent all the details and she sent it to her friend. She text the friend before, during and after. Saftey first people. She was doing it the smart way and we weren't at all offended. " This reply makes me happy and reassured that I should stick to my principles and trust my judgment. Thank you x | |||
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"I never invite someone to my home even after meeting in daylight in a cafe etc. One chap turned up 6 months later as I was serving Sunday dinner to my children! I was having a break from the site and he thought cos he couldn't find me on fab, that he would just turn up. You are not safe in a hotel room. Why not arrange to meet at a club. Then if there is an issue you can raise your voice and get help from people around . I have never had an issue, but it's reassuring that there are others close by just in case. Nobody needs to know real names, addresses or anything and if your meet doesn't show up, there's lots of others around who might take your fancy. Win win and safe "I think I'm going to seriously consider this as an option. It makes lots of sense. I'm just unsure about going on my own but I guess you could meet in a bar first. | |||
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"If they wanted photo ID I'd assume they were trying to steal my identity and tell them to do one. " Steal your identity by looking at something with your name and face on? I wasn't asking for solicitor approved photocopies. Just a quick glance at something! I have to show my ID at work numerous times a day, it's never crossed my mind that someone would be trying to steal my identity! | |||
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"I ask for an up to date DBS check, a tuft of hair for DNA purposes and then the driving licence too. There's just no other way of being safe these days Haha" Don't forget fingerprints and a copy of their passport... Seriously folks you can have a public meet and they are charm personified but behind closed doors.... they turn into nutters. How many women are murdered by their 'loving' boyfriends every single day....? Do what you feel is right for you, personally I have a lot of chat and exchanges of pics, chat on the phone too...if I don't feel comfortable I just don't go through with it. Life is a risk and all we can do is try to minimise the risk as best we can. | |||
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