FabSwingers.com forum: Guilt of meeting alone

By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago

Swansea

The dilemma I have is that I would really like to meet a guy on my own, and my partner is happy for me to do so as long as she is kept in the loop... I can't get over the feeling of guilt and that it is cheating, so although I keep flirting with the idea I haven't done it because of this guilty feeling. I know it's not rational as its only cheating if its done in secret in my view, but I'm a very loyal person and I start thinking of all the what iffs... Like what if something changes after, or what if she isnt as happy about it as she makes out...

Has anyone else felt this? What's your advice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dilemma I have is that I would really like to meet a guy on my own, and my partner is happy for me to do so as long as she is kept in the loop... I can't get over the feeling of guilt and that it is cheating, so although I keep flirting with the idea I haven't done it because of this guilty feeling. I know it's not rational as its only cheating if its done in secret in my view, but I'm a very loyal person and I start thinking of all the what iffs... Like what if something changes after, or what if she isnt as happy about it as she makes out...

Has anyone else felt this? What's your advice?"

I’ve met people alone without the Mrs but it was somebody who we had both played with on a couple of occasions.

There was a feel of guilt after the 1st time but me and the Mrs sat down and she assured me that what I had done was fine.

That was 2 years ago and we have gone from strength to strength since

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Talk to her OP. If she wasn't completely okay with it she would be unlikely to go to the length of encouraging you to do it. If she has unexpected feelings about it afterwards, any reasonable person would not blame you and again you would need to talk it through to help her process her feelings.

I'm a very loyal person too but meeting others with my partner's consent does not change that. If anything part of the enjoyment is in allowing each other to enjoy those experiences and being happy and excited for them.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

The reality can differ from the fantasy, so I think you're right to be nervous about it. And it's worth applying some caution in areas that are important to your relationship.

Perhaps you could have her there the first time. She can either give you the encouragement you need, or, if she finds she's not as OK with it as she thought, call it off before things go too far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to this.

I'm not in a position where I want to meet alone as yet, partly because of it feeling like cheating even though I'd have his full blessing and know full well he would love hearing about it etc.

Mainly because I don't want to bring problems to our doorstep, as you never know if someone has intentions that aren't pure and as innocent as they may seem.

*sigh*

Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if things were straight forward.

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