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Club with vs club alone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm plucking up the courage to go to a club for the first time, I cannot get anybody around me to be interested to come with me lol. So I ask, to whom has attended a place like chams alone, what was your experience like, did you find it difficult to blend in? What where staff like? Was it easy to talk to people and what is the dress code?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chams is a lovely club!

Lots of areas to relax and play in

Theres changing rooms and showers

Depending on the night you go its more of a social vibe for folk to interact.

Dress code is usually shorts/boxers and a vest. Depends how comfortable you feel.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I go as a single and it's awesome, obviously it's different for single men though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a bit I’d imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go to Chams as a single female. People are very friendly, and the club is well run. If I were closer I would go with you, but you will be fine I'm sure xx

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I been to clubs alone and with my partner. I first experience of clubs was when I was single. I think it takes some balls to go alone and I'm so glad I did. Personally for me it was huge boost confidence wise and helped me realise that this scene was for me. Being maybe a bit on the spectrum and socially awkward, I was generally feeling a bit low in my social confidence. But I thought to myself this is something I really want to experience. So I just plucked up the courage, booked a hotel and went to a big club one evening. It was not easy walking in that first time. But the only way to do a thing is to do it. Basically I dived into the deep end. In that situation as a first time and total stranger its do or die. You either have to just role your sleeves up and get socialising or just sit there on your own looking sad. I figured I had nothing to lose from pushing my comfort zone and meeting strangers. Granted not everyone will be interested. But people are generally nice and mirror back the decency, respect and friendliness you show. But on the whole things went well, very well, I enjoyed it and got more than I was expecting that night. I left feeling epic and knowing the scene was for me. If I could go alone to a club full of strangers in a totally new environment and do so well, what couldn't I do? So for me my first club night was probably one of the defining moments of my life. And it was not the last time I went alone. And here I still am on the scene, now sharing it with my partner who I met on the scene.

So my advice would be to simply just go and see for yourself. Be yourself, friendly and respectful. Do your own thing and stand out. Don't seek the comfort of joining the ranks of the wanking dead. Conduct yourself in line with what feels right to you, not necessarily what the other single guys are doing. And go to something/somewhere where there is no/very nominal membership fee or go on a guest list first time (incase it's not for you). As for Chams, membership is very expensive and I think there is a awaiting list for men. So either get a guest entry to a party at chams or try somewhere like the Attic. And think, really, what have you got to lose? You'll never know unless you try alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love that post. The best description of how to be in a club as a single man that I’ve seen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I attend Chams both on my own and sometimes will go with a fem friend as a couple. Going on your own first time will be nervy to start but just socialise or watch and you will relax. Lots to see there as loads of different stuff catered for. The more you go the more normal it will seem and you will also get to know regulars. Don't drink to much first time!

My advice on finding someone to couple up with to go with is don't unless you are a couple outside the club. I have known some of my fem friends for years and when we are together we are like a proper couple and therefore naturally have a couple dynamic inside the club. If you hook up with a stranger to go you will just find it awkward together once in the club

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