FabSwingers.com forum: No show for a social?

By *ooBoo2300 OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.

We arranged to meet in a coffee shop and messaged last night, today he didn’t turn up. I know this happens a lot. Is there anything I can do to reduce the chances of this happening again? And do I wait a few days and then block the guy? Thanks everyone

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

A shame that happened for you OP

Not much you can do to prevent that apart from choosing someone who has veris for turning up.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

If they don't give you a decent excuse for showing up, block and delete and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a lady block me last week rather than message to cancel a social. No indication just how people are I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never missed a social especially in a coffee shop I love a brew and a nice chat. Such a perfect way to get to know someone. This has happened to me also and I find it nasty.

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By *ooBoo2300 OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would personally leave it till tomorrow then block if he hasn’t the courtesy to explain the reason for the no show, don’t contact him yourself . My advice for what it’s worth

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"Ok thanks guys. It’s just knocked my confidence a bit as well I suppose. I’ve been so used to having my husband at my side with meets, I now feel like I have an extra layer of worry and insecurities to work through before I get to have any fun!! "

You'll be fine, just keep arranging socials with ones you like the look of and take pride in the fact it's now all down to your choosing and arranging.

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By *erfectly Average CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It’s sucks but you’ll be fine just get back on the horse x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s the trouble with some guys and they spoil it for others it’s a shame Fab has got a lot of time wasters, but it’s a part of swinging where guys are just getting off on it. But don’t let it spoil it for you because there are genuine guys and couples that want to meet, but I always look for verifications and that tells you a lot about the person too. But don’t let these time waster spoil your swinging adventures

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By *ooBoo2300 OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thank you all!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't let it knock your confidence in yourself, it wasn't you who caused him to stand you up.

I admire singles who meet on fab, it takes guts.

I don't know how you reduce the chances of a no show. If we don't hear from them the day before we tend to assume they aren't coming but aside from that if someone seems genuine there's not much else you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you find another person who loves a nice social chat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would report to admin as a no show and not giving you a valid excuse. Unfortunately fab is full of time wasters and wannabes..Don't take it personal and put it behind you. I'm sure there's plenty guys out there that would jump at the chance to meet up with you.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Before you block, please report.

It's under " arranged a meet but didn't turn up".

This might help to reduce timewasters in the future (hopefully).

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By *andD300Couple
over a year ago

london

After looking at your profile and reading some of your comments......his loss!!

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

No wonder it's hard to get meets when people get treated like this. Such bad manners. Definitely his loss!

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By *hat The CuckCouple
over a year ago

South London

This is why we insist on an initial social meet.

Happened to us a few times when we jumped the gun and booked hotels. If they no show on a social you haven’t invested to much time, money & effort.

It’s his loss and I’m sure you’ll find many other more genuine people to meet.

And we report and block straight away.

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

Speaking to someone on the phone before firming up plans is a good idea. It’s a fairly good way of ing out people who aren’t serious. And then I expect communication on the day, usually ask them to let me know when they’re on their way. But even with all of that it does still happen- it’s a reflection of them, rather than anything to do with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A shame that happened for you OP

Not much you can do to prevent that apart from choosing someone who has veris for turning up.

Verified people timewaste too

I don't think there is any way you can stop it from happening I've been trying to for a few years and getting no where

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy must be crazy. You look absolutely amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know it’s stings a bit confidence wise, but it’s a reflection of him and not you. It’s so disrespectful. We have been stood up a few times now as a couple. It’s frustrating. We give them til the following day to get in contact and then we report them to Fab and block. I’m sorry it happened. It’s not you, it’s so many just don’t have the balls to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And verifications aren’t always valuable. One of our best meets had none and was absolutely reliable and fantastic. Another had good verifications and didn’t show up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you keep in contact up to the meet. Even confirming when your both leaving for the meet. I've found no shows go quiet on the morning.

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

I have started to report all "no shows"...even if they have an excuse like "I drove past and you wasn't my type"

I wasn't told until two hours later when he messaged.

During this time,I sat about waiting (he said he was running late due to school traffic) then I ended up stuck in rush hour traffic on my way back home.

It's even happened with guys who have had decent veries!

So not always a clear indication re reliability.

Getting to the point now whereby I am thinking of not meeting on a 1 to 1 basis and just meeting at organised socials and clubs which I attend anyway.

This is where the genuine people are at.

Hope we have all been of help and remember, you're not on your own op.

Good Luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have much to add, apart from - it does get better. Been there. You will learn your ways of selecting!

You are beautiful. Sorry he didnt find courage to cancel at the very least... not your fault!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last minute cancellations and people going dark a couple of days before an arranged social were high amongst the reasons I left the site earlier in the year. I do think that over the course of the last few years more blowhards and wannabes are on the site, chasing for agreement to a meet then disappearing.

It’s frustrating, particularly when you have few chances for adult fun. I did all the recommended stuff, kept in touch, spoke in the phone, confirmed on the day...then three hours beforehand..the hamster’s died, their chrysanthemum has had an anxiety attack, they forgot they had to be in Nova Scotia for a business meeting... The only thing I can think of is to not plan meets so far in advance, by the time the meet comes round they’ve had a wank and lost interest. For someone who needs to plan her diary that is really hard.

I don’t know what else to suggest. I’ll watch this thread with interest to see other’s suggestions. Please don’t take it to heart though. It absolutely is their problem not yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social only let down are a regular occurrence, who wants to turn up for a long interview, dressed your best, give answers you think the interviewer wants to hear, bullshit your way in for what may turn out to be a job that is shorter than the interview!

Are people that desperate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.

I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.

I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too."

Agreed, but not sure what you gain from a 20 min chat and then walk away to fix another date, we’d prefer a 20 min chat then if we all want to rip each other clothes off we do...

And we weren’t being completely serious, maybe it is different for other people, we know both couples and singles who operate in both ways

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

I’ll always try and attend some organised socials to support the organisers who do a great job for fab

But if someone wants a one to one social it has to be at a club

If they don’t show then it’s not the end of the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Social only let down are a regular occurrence, who wants to turn up for a long interview, dressed your best, give answers you think the interviewer wants to hear, bullshit your way in for what may turn out to be a job that is shorter than the interview!

Are people that desperate? "

. I would say it's the opposite to desperate. Meeting someone for a drink, getting to know them rather than meeting someone thinking I'm here anyway so I may as well shag them now

. Hence when I was meeting I would always do at least 1 social if not more as I don't want to fuck strangers

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

If he wasn`t going to make the meet, He should have let you know straight away & not let you turn up & just sit there feeling awkward. Inconsiderate to say the least.

Next time make them sit somewhere that there`s a public cam you can access online or send you a photo of them waiting for you. Make them turn up at least 15 minutes before you do.

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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago

notts

Happens to me too

I now arrange most socials at a time and place I will be anyway eg Trafford Centre on a weekend - then I can just go shopping at Costco instead.

People are weird

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

"I’ll always try and attend some organised socials to support the organisers who do a great job for fab

But if someone wants a one to one social it has to be at a club

If they don’t show then it’s not the end of the world "

Completely agree.

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

"If he wasn`t going to make the meet, He should have let you know straight away & not let you turn up & just sit there feeling awkward. Inconsiderate to say the least.

Next time make them sit somewhere that there`s a public cam you can access online or send you a photo of them waiting for you. Make them turn up at least 15 minutes before you do."

I was sat inside.

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

"Happens to me too

I now arrange most socials at a time and place I will be anyway eg Trafford Centre on a weekend - then I can just go shopping at Costco instead.

People are weird

Ditto to both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We arrange socials at a club now, been stood up a few times. Social at the club for us has been mainly to make sure you are who you say you are, that your pictures are of you and that we click in some way.

Our arranged club socials have all been good and ended with playing in the club. If you’re honest on your profile and with your pics, a club social will probably lead to more

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By *he James gangCouple
over a year ago

NEWTOWNABBEY

Don't let it knock your confidence, you've assets a plenty. I can assure you it's not you, its his loss. We've had a few no shows for a social. Too many fantasists out there who just don't have the balls to meet. Keep on trucking OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's unfortunately the way fab has gone.

We have been talking to a well verified guy for about 6 weeks trying to line up a date for a social, got a date sorted so sent him a message to ask if he's also free and he hasn't opened it from days ago but been online plenty of times.. gut instinct kicks in so we'll be heading off to Angels in Melksham instead.

Our spare time is very limited so when we get a sniff of being messed about we cancel.

Hope your next social is more successful OP. X

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By *ess n BenCouple
over a year ago

Didcot

"This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.

The guy must be mad to have let you down

We have had a lot of let downs and sadly they have mostly been guys

Don’t let it put you off we now normally meet couples x

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

This.

We’ve been stood up a couple of times but the good fabsters far outweigh the bad ones. I still haven’t forgiven Ace Winger for not meeting me on Saturday though!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Wait to see if there's any reason given with full apologies but also be prepared to report them to admin. It's just a reflection largely on them, not you.

I always insist on agreeing a detailed communications plan leading up to about an hour before a meet, so that you can probably more easily spot if someone isn't going to be at a meet. If they fall to do what they have agreed beforehand, they highlight themselves as unreliable.

Another option for you is to potentially arrange more than one social - they don't have to be at the same place. If one didn't work, the others are likely to at least give you a positive result for the day and each individual has less influence on your day and fab experience.

Some men just want the sex and may skip a social if something else is on offer - hence why I like to hear from them an hour or so before meeting by a phone call, where it's easier to judge their real intent than just by text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very rarely get a reply or message let alone the chance to arrange a social meet!

Why anyone would blow opportunities to meet other great fun people without genuine reasons is beyond me

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Make sure you keep in contact up to the meet. Even confirming when your both leaving for the meet. I've found no shows go quiet on the morning. "

This and I have only had 1 no show where I had actually left the house and was waiting at agreed meeting place. If anyone were to cancel before I start getting ready they haven't wasted any of my time.

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By *ooBoo2300 OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Wow, thanks for all the replies everyone. I’m more used to meeting in clubs tbh, I just feel more vulnerable playing solo now without my husband. I want to make some naughty friends to have regular fun with, rather than have a series of meets with different people each time. I’ll just keep being myself and see what happens!!

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"Funny, I never saw a 20 minute flirt and chat with someone sexy as that great a hardship.

I’d suggest that meeting as a couple is significantly different to meeting as a single too.

Agreed, but not sure what you gain from a 20 min chat and then walk away to fix another date, we’d prefer a 20 min chat then if we all want to rip each other clothes off we do...

And we weren’t being completely serious, maybe it is different for other people, we know both couples and singles who operate in both ways "

I don't think that would go down to well in my local Costa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is the first social I’ve arranged through Fab. I’m not new to swinging, but new to being a solo female and using Fab.

We learned from bitter experience, that one can arrange socials, but can't compel the other party to attend.

We had multiple no shows on the bounce. Highly demotivating.

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